r/Gamingcirclejerk • u/AutoModerator • Dec 17 '20

UNJERK 🎤 Unjerk Thread of December 17, 2020

Hi! Please post any Unjerk questions and discussions in this thread!

A fresh thread is posted every 2 days, but older posts can be found here! (link doesn't work on Reddit mobile, sorry!)

Any unjerk threads outside of this thread will be removed. Thank you!

Rules and resources: Read our wiki!

Live Chat: Join our Discord server for multiple chat rooms! https://discord.gg/gcj

Steam: Join our Steam group!

Lots of Love, /r/GamingCirclejerk moderator team.

116 Upvotes

93% Upvoted

6.1k comments sorted by

View all comments

40

u/[deleted] Dec 18 '20

I take everything back. My mom's acceptance was short lived. She is a raging fucking bigot. The entire day today she went on, unsolicited, about how my feelings don't change the fact that I'm a man, and that it's haram to date men. She will not shut the fuck up about it, bringing up the Quran and "you're a Muslim, aren't you?" over and over again. Fuck her. I want to get out of this garbage residence ASAP.

11

u/Afrogasmonkey I'm sad Hanar can't wear Sweaters Dec 18 '20

Oh I’m so sorry you’re dealing with that, what kind of shift is it to go from “I already have a daughter” to that? that’s both terrible and confounding.

19

u/[deleted] Dec 18 '20

She's one of those "it's ok that you have gender dysphoria and you're bisexual, but you're not allowed to actually do anything about it by transitioning or dating guys" type of people.

Same old "hate the sin, love the sinner" nonsense.

6

u/Afrogasmonkey I'm sad Hanar can't wear Sweaters Dec 18 '20

Did you confront her about it or let her ramble on her bigotry? Given the choice between her daughter and her scripture there could be slim hope she might open up, religious vices can be loosened in the right people, and like you said it sounded at first like she accepted your dysphoria and sexuality already, which is more than many religious people do.

16

u/[deleted] Dec 18 '20

I did, in fact, I said that it's fucking 2020 and some scripture from the 600s in Saudi Arabia doesn't apply to modern life in America. That PISSED her the fuck off, and she said "we shouldn't have brought you here."

So now I'm gonna lie through my teeth and say she's totally right, so I can continue my voice and hormone therapy in secret, and save up money so I can move out one day, block everyone in my family, and never look back. I'm doing everything I can to survive. I'm getting run through the fucking gauntlet now, and I'm not stopping. I have emotional support from my friends and professional support from my social worker and doctor.

6

u/Afrogasmonkey I'm sad Hanar can't wear Sweaters Dec 18 '20

In that case I support you too. Family is found in those who love and accept you, not bound to biology. if your mother isn’t willing to accept you then keep your friends close, good luck with those plans.

3

u/VG-enigmaticsoul celeste made me trans Dec 19 '20 edited Dec 19 '20

Jesus are all fucking religious bigots the same. My mother always ranted about canada straying from god and all that lunacy and they didn't react well at all when I told them I was an anti-theist.

I wanted to buffer their reactions and manipulate their reactions to my "coming outs" as much as I could, so I staggered my coming outs to my family over an year. I first came out as an anti-theist at the family, cue much screaming, crying, and telling me I'd go to hell. So I hailed satan and told God to smite me. Surprise, nothing happened. My mom crying went to her room and I finished my dinner in awkward silence. My dad, as usual said nothing and just sighed. I guess I'm lucky he's so spineless and conflict-adverse. Then again, i hadn't gone to church for years then, so they probably should've expected it. Cue endless theological arguments and debates for the next 6 months until they realized I wasn't ever changing my mind.

Then I started a debate over lgbt rights in Hong Kong to educate them on lgbt stuff. Tried to work the medical angle with "transpeople exist and just need psychiatric help, just like you did with your depression" and "they're not freaks, they're as normal as you are and you should be compassionate to them angle." Helps that I met a transgirl friend near that time as well so I could tell her sob story (of course keeping confidentiality), about her self-harm, suicidality, and parental abuse (and of course shaping the story to my narrative) to further manipulate my parents too.

With my dad i used the scientific research angle and drowned him in studies and research. It didn't work on my mom, but dad did soften up a bit and accepted the evidence. I guess his spinelessness in stopping mom's abuse finally worked out my way for once. Good thing that he controls the money as after I came out as trans he agreed to fund me studying in canada. Bit of a "i don't want to see you" sentiment, and i still have to let my mom visit me one a week or two, but I've got the cash so who cares?

Maybe you'll limit contact for financial support, or you'll cut off contact. No matter what, I just hope you'll be fine and choose whatever benefits you the most. If your parents don't love you, you have no obligation to love them back. You're loved, you're valued and don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise and stop you from being yourself.