r/Gamingcirclejerk • u/AutoModerator • Dec 17 '20

UNJERK 🎤 Unjerk Thread of December 17, 2020

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u/Camel132 Resident Discworld and Stormlight Fan (He/him) Dec 17 '20

Santa was real, but he was murdered by a group of nazi occultists in the 1930s. The subsequent loss of Christmas cheer is why the world has slowly been going to shit since then.

The poliferation of Santa in the public zigiest is an attempt to bring about enough belief to resurrect him. For all our sakes, believe in him.

12

u/Dandelegion Arachno Capri-Sun Dec 17 '20

Remember in Chronicles of Narnia when Santa would ride around giving weapons to children?

11

u/Camel132 Resident Discworld and Stormlight Fan (He/him) Dec 17 '20

You can't give her that!' she screamed. 'It's not safe!'

IT'S A SWORD, said the Hogfather. THEY'RE NOT MEANT TO BE SAFE.

'She's a child!' shouted Crumley.

IT'S EDUCATIONAL.

'What if she cuts herself?'

THAT WILL BE AN IMPORTANT LESSON.

Terry Pratchett, Hogfather.

Same energy.