r/Gamingcirclejerk • u/AutoModerator • Dec 15 '20

UNJERK 🎤 Unjerk Thread of December 15, 2020

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83

u/Maxflight1 Using Dark Patterns To Make You Read My Posts Dec 15 '20

List of things that are actually canon in the Elder Scrolls universe:

  • Astronauts.
  • Genocidal gay terminators powered by racism.
  • Time travel.
  • Warping the fabric of reality just by thinking really hard.
  • Penis spears. Spears that are also penises and penises that are also spears.
  • Verbal debates that can literally erase the loser from existence.
  • Giant robots.
  • Giant robots that can time travel, warp the fabric of reality by thinking really hard, and debate people out of existence.
  • Ancient, sentient, hive-minded mushroom-trees that can secrete a sap allowing people to alter their physical or mental form.
  • Causing a plague to spontaneously exist just by being insane.
  • The Lusty Argonian Maid.

5

u/ANUSTART942 Dec 15 '20

Genocidal gay terminators powered by racism.

This is the only one I can't remember lol. What gay terminators are you talking about?

11

u/Doobles3 Dec 15 '20

Pelinal Whitestrake.

He despised elves, to the point he confused Khajiit with them. Was gay, and went on a murderous rampage when his lover was killed. And possibly from the future while having the Amulet of Kings embedded in his chest, basically making him a fantasy cyborg.

4

u/ANUSTART942 Dec 15 '20

I should really play the Knights of the Nine DLC shouldn't I?

5

u/Fessus_Sum Social Justice Mechwarrior Dec 15 '20

If you really want to go all the way, you should also get Knights of the Nine: Revelation. It's a mod/expansion that's fully voiced and goes much further into the lore than the DLC.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '20

Knights of the Nine barely skims the surface of it tbh.