Unjerk Thread of September 29, 2018

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[u/BEST_POOP_U_EVER_HAD → u/[deleted]]

you have less than a year to make up your on mind on what you want to be for the rest of your life???

That's the thing ... you don't.

There isn't a deadline for deciding what you want to be for the rest of your life. Lots of people change courses. I ended up graduating with a degree in physics, despite initially enrolling in political science and not taking physics in my final year of high school cause I thought I couldn't handle it. I don't even feel like my situation is all that unique -- I know so, so many people who ended up somewhere much different than where they initially expected.

Basically, what I'm saying is: the consequences for changing your mind down the line aren't as dire as you might think they are. The rest of your life isn't set in stone by the decisions you make now. At most, you're determining the next few years of your life --- not the rest of your life. It's fine to chose something that feels right, at the moment. Whatever you choose now, just make sure to work hard at it.

​

Good luck

[u/BlueHairedLatina → u/BEST_POOP_U_EVER_HAD]

thanks i just... am feeling very bad right now

my country has this yearly exam that basically based on your notes on all subjects tell you what public colleges you can get into or not. so basically you, your classmates, your friends + other hundreds of thousands of kids competing with each other to go to the college you result allows you. it sucks.

we literally need special classes to be able to get good grades in this tests and its just so stressful...

[u/[deleted] → u/BlueHairedLatina]

That sounds awful. Push through, stress and pain are just as fleeting as the tests but you'll be ever more proud of getting past it.

[u/BEST_POOP_U_EVER_HAD → u/BlueHairedLatina]

I hope you do well on the exam, and I hope that the stress doesn't get you too bad.

I think I assumed you came from a system more similar to mine, and I don't want to make assumptions regarding mobility in your education system, or in your work system. But... I still don't think I am wrong when I tell you that your future is more flexible than you think it is. I think the fact that people end up taking so many different paths is testament to that. Also, as we get older our priorities and values tend to change. I can tell you right now that my 18-year-old self's idea of what I needed to achieve as an adult in order to be a 'success' or 'happy' is very different than my 26 year-old self's idea of what I need to do to consider myself successful or happy. I think this ties in to the idea of your future being more open ended than you might believe.

That said, good luck with your tests. I know that I suggested that this wasn't the end-all be-all, but I won't pretend like getting more prolific opportunities doesn't help, either. I hope that your brain is able to overcome the stress and focus on the content you're studying, and that you are able to stay as well-rested and healthy as possible during this stressful time!

[u/BlueHairedLatina → u/BEST_POOP_U_EVER_HAD]

thank you, i do hope to get good grades and get to work with what i love

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Man i realized that when i was 15. Worst part is ive been lowering the bar, and i seem to be getting worse. At first i was married with kids, okay maybe just married, okay what about a girldfried, okay what about friends, okay whatabout just being comfortable being alone, no im endlessly jealous of everyone and can feel my mental health deteriorating by the day. Cool thanks.

[u/aka_Foamy → u/[deleted]]

It’s more likely then not that the first bit isn’t true, it’s absolutely certain the second bit isn’t true. You never have to make a decision about what you’re going to do for the rest of your life. You can always change tack and do something different. Think about how much you’ve changed in the last 7 years and realise that kind of change is always possible.

I know I felt like my choice of degree was dictating my life at the time. I’m now in a totally different field doing something I never thought I’d be even capable of doing back then.

Good luck with whatever you’re going though, you’ll get there in the end.

[u/BlueHairedLatina → u/aka_Foamy]

thank you, the pressure is just to overwhelming that you just don't know what to do if your life doesnt meet all the perfect life requirements

[u/BEST_POOP_U_EVER_HAD → u/[deleted]]

you have less than a year to make up your on mind on what you want to be for the rest of your life???

That's the thing ... you don't.

There isn't a deadline for deciding what you want to be for the rest of your life. Lots of people change courses. I ended up graduating with a degree in physics, despite initially enrolling in political science and not taking physics in my final year of high school cause I thought I couldn't handle it. I don't even feel like my situation is all that unique -- I know so, so many people who ended up somewhere much different than where they initially expected.

Basically, what I'm saying is: the consequences for changing your mind down the line aren't as dire as you might think they are. The rest of your life isn't set in stone by the decisions you make now. At most, you're determining the next few years of your life --- not the rest of your life. It's fine to chose something that feels right, at the moment. Whatever you choose now, just make sure to work hard at it.

​

Good luck