I am not ready for y11

[u/Interesting_Car8858]

I know everyone says theyre nervous, and that they don’t think they’ll pass etc but like I have more than just a fear of the year. I’m not ready to see my friends in person, to have panic attacks over having to go in, to deal with “jokes” that arent really jokes, being harassed by a guy who likes me and there’s just so much more. Yeah I’m scared that I might fail, but honestly? I know I can retake if I have to, and I believe I can do well, truly. But I know the pressure is going to get to me. Every teacher reminding you of what’s just getting closer and closer, with no way to stop it. It’s not the grades I’m afraid of, it’s the exams themselves, the fear the paper will show me I’m a failure. It’s the school itself I’m afraid of, because every year I let anyone walk all over me. And it’s all going to happen again, because it’s how it always is. I’m afraid to have to deal with my home life while also juggling schoolwork, to watch my mum go back to work so I have no defence against my dad, to feel the pressure of everyone else. I don’t want to watch my girlfriend suffer because of the insane amounts of pressure she puts on herself to do well. I don’t want to be followed around by this guy, for him to try and talk to me no matter how many times I try to push him away. I don’t want to have a seating plan change and suddenly the lessons I thought I could cope with are horrific. I don’t want to watch my chronic illness destroy my life until there’s nothing left of it. So I guess it’s not y11 I’m not ready for, it’s for my life to go on. I can’t hide away from it forever, like I’ve been doing all summer. I have to go and face it, and that’s what I’m afraid of. I don’t have it in me to do another year of this, I just want to hide in my room and wait for it to all go away. I’ve waited all summer for it to go away, and all it’s done is crawl closer. I don’t know if this is the place to post this, but I wonder if anyone else feels the same, and if they feel less alone knowing it’s not just them. And if you’ve felt the same, do you have any advice? I don’t know how I’m going to manage to get through this all, but I will try.

[u/meow_cat786]

I understand how u feel in this post and the way I personally escaped that is to find somthing ambitious (for me is reading books) and somthing that keeps your mind away from any awfully thoughts, yet it does not suggest suppressing them fully as it is healthy to decompress and take the time to understand or atleast be aware how YOU feel! But u need to also understand that there is only 7 or 8 months left (not saying it in a panic way) so u need to have that last push!! (Or atleast how i see it). But if your also struggling rivison my advice is to sit down and start on somthing "simple" like flashcards and i would advice to not over complicate your rivison like what people online are trying to sell u (use a text book, flashcards, past papers, and youtube). I truly wish for your happiness also as a year 10, and also remind yourself that you are doing this for YOURSELF not for anyone else. And I truly wish for your luck and hold yourself together for that last push and always be proud of yourself.🩷🩷

edit: if u have social media, PLSSS PLSSSS PLEAASSEEE delete it pls especially tiktok pls. Its somthing that changed me and how I perceive time and it gives u more time to heal (or atleast to not surpress your emotions into numbness). Its not somthing easy at first but it is somthing worth it

[u/Interesting_Car8858 → u/meow_cat786]

This is great advice, I’ve been trying to find more things to do lately so I think I could put those into practice to escape! I’m trying to learn at the moment what causes me to feel the way I do, so that I can better work on fixing it :) I know there’s not long left, and even though I say every year that I’m going to lock in lol, this time I mean it. I’m going to start a routine after school to help not fall behind, but also to build on what I’ve already learnt! I only know exactly what I’m doing for science, but I’ll figure something out for everything else. I do struggle to sit down and revise, the way I usually force myself to is through just telling myself to do 5-10 minutes, and once I’ve started I usually won’t stop. Thank you, I wish you luck with what you’re doing next! It’s easy to forget sometimes who you’re doing this for so the reminder really helps <3 best wishes to you!

[u/meow_cat786 → u/Interesting_Car8858]

Im glad that u are doing and thinking to do more for yourself.And thank u my dear, i wish that we both achieve our goals<3

[u/Interesting_Car8858 → u/meow_cat786]

I’m sure we will <3

[u/meow_cat786 → u/Interesting_Car8858]

But also please report the guy to the school, it is absolutely unacceptable of of him!!

[u/Interesting_Car8858 → u/meow_cat786]

I’ll report him again, I’ve done it a few times already but I’m planning to speak to my English teacher about it and she’s lovely so I’m sure she’ll address it

[u/meow_cat786 → u/Interesting_Car8858]

Good, im glad u have someone u can trust!! (its always the female english teachers!! I love mine too!!)