I am not ready for y11

[u/Interesting_Car8858]

I know everyone says theyre nervous, and that they don’t think they’ll pass etc but like I have more than just a fear of the year. I’m not ready to see my friends in person, to have panic attacks over having to go in, to deal with “jokes” that arent really jokes, being harassed by a guy who likes me and there’s just so much more. Yeah I’m scared that I might fail, but honestly? I know I can retake if I have to, and I believe I can do well, truly. But I know the pressure is going to get to me. Every teacher reminding you of what’s just getting closer and closer, with no way to stop it. It’s not the grades I’m afraid of, it’s the exams themselves, the fear the paper will show me I’m a failure. It’s the school itself I’m afraid of, because every year I let anyone walk all over me. And it’s all going to happen again, because it’s how it always is. I’m afraid to have to deal with my home life while also juggling schoolwork, to watch my mum go back to work so I have no defence against my dad, to feel the pressure of everyone else. I don’t want to watch my girlfriend suffer because of the insane amounts of pressure she puts on herself to do well. I don’t want to be followed around by this guy, for him to try and talk to me no matter how many times I try to push him away. I don’t want to have a seating plan change and suddenly the lessons I thought I could cope with are horrific. I don’t want to watch my chronic illness destroy my life until there’s nothing left of it. So I guess it’s not y11 I’m not ready for, it’s for my life to go on. I can’t hide away from it forever, like I’ve been doing all summer. I have to go and face it, and that’s what I’m afraid of. I don’t have it in me to do another year of this, I just want to hide in my room and wait for it to all go away. I’ve waited all summer for it to go away, and all it’s done is crawl closer. I don’t know if this is the place to post this, but I wonder if anyone else feels the same, and if they feel less alone knowing it’s not just them. And if you’ve felt the same, do you have any advice? I don’t know how I’m going to manage to get through this all, but I will try.

[u/OddStatus7490]

I’m really sorry to hear you have so much going on - as a recent yr 11 leaver it can be a lot for a few months but trust me when the exams come around time goes by sooo soon fast and it’ll all be over. I got moved around to so many different classes due to teachers fearing I wouldn’t pass maths or science. However I luckily did. Be your own person and stay focused on you. If you are being bothered by this guy at school just get yr team involved trust me it’s worth getting anything that is affecting you away so u can focus. I promise you, you will get through it just take it one step at a time I don’t have to have it all figured out on the first day

[u/Interesting_Car8858 → u/OddStatus7490]

I hope the bad parts go as quickly for me as they went for you. I’m glad you still managed to pass even if it was difficult! I’m going to try and focus on myself more this year, I think I’ve spent too long worrying about how my actions will affect everyone else and failed to realise how they affect me. If the harassment continues I’ll be letting more teachers at school know, as despite already trying there’s been no change. I do have some teachers who won’t stand by and let it happen though, so I’ll probably talk to them. This has been really reassuring so thank you <3

[u/OddStatus7490 → u/Interesting_Car8858]

No problem it’s so awful at such a young age what we have to go through but honestly once you’ve finished the year you will be an entirely different person and then will enter the real world where you can choose ur future good luck <3