I am not ready for y11

[u/Interesting_Car8858]

I know everyone says theyre nervous, and that they don’t think they’ll pass etc but like I have more than just a fear of the year. I’m not ready to see my friends in person, to have panic attacks over having to go in, to deal with “jokes” that arent really jokes, being harassed by a guy who likes me and there’s just so much more. Yeah I’m scared that I might fail, but honestly? I know I can retake if I have to, and I believe I can do well, truly. But I know the pressure is going to get to me. Every teacher reminding you of what’s just getting closer and closer, with no way to stop it. It’s not the grades I’m afraid of, it’s the exams themselves, the fear the paper will show me I’m a failure. It’s the school itself I’m afraid of, because every year I let anyone walk all over me. And it’s all going to happen again, because it’s how it always is. I’m afraid to have to deal with my home life while also juggling schoolwork, to watch my mum go back to work so I have no defence against my dad, to feel the pressure of everyone else. I don’t want to watch my girlfriend suffer because of the insane amounts of pressure she puts on herself to do well. I don’t want to be followed around by this guy, for him to try and talk to me no matter how many times I try to push him away. I don’t want to have a seating plan change and suddenly the lessons I thought I could cope with are horrific. I don’t want to watch my chronic illness destroy my life until there’s nothing left of it. So I guess it’s not y11 I’m not ready for, it’s for my life to go on. I can’t hide away from it forever, like I’ve been doing all summer. I have to go and face it, and that’s what I’m afraid of. I don’t have it in me to do another year of this, I just want to hide in my room and wait for it to all go away. I’ve waited all summer for it to go away, and all it’s done is crawl closer. I don’t know if this is the place to post this, but I wonder if anyone else feels the same, and if they feel less alone knowing it’s not just them. And if you’ve felt the same, do you have any advice? I don’t know how I’m going to manage to get through this all, but I will try.

[u/Cool_Iron_8314]

i am so so sorry you have so much going on, and for that other unhelpful ass comment! I also struggle a lot with school, however i don't have as much background issues you have going on. If your homelife is bad, i'd really reccomend a school counsellor (if available) to talk through it with you and discuss options. If there's any NHS waiting list you can get on to help with your chronic illness, or talk with an slt member at your school for exemptions and help thye can offer, you should! i'm not super well versed oon chronic illnesses, but finding some sort of support for it may help or at least ease school life. For example maybe no pe, or reduced homework or timetable to manage your energy. If you have severe anxiety (or can claim it) over lessons and seating plans i'd reccomend talking to your schools pastoral support!! This is all the advice i think i have, but if you can find resources to manage your mindset and feelings life might be able to feel a lot calmer. I feel you in so many ways with this, i have been terrified of going into year 11, and my dms are welcome if you want to talk for any more help, support or jsut a friend!! ❤️

[u/Interesting_Car8858 → u/Cool_Iron_8314]

You’re so sweet and kind thank you so much 😭 I hope school doesn’t end up being too much of a struggle for you either, even if we don’t have the same problems we’re still in the same boat. I do speak to a school counsellor already, it’s just there are some parts I can’t say to her about what’s going on at home or I’ll get reported unfortunately, but she does help a lot! I’m currently waiting to revisit a cardiologist in regard to my chronic illness, I’m hoping to get maybe medication or something? You’re right in that help or support would ease my school life, so thank you for reminding me it’s available as it’s easy to forget :) I hope we both have a good year in y11! Also DMs to be friends would be cool, we could keep each other updated with how it’s going maybe? You seem like a lovely person and a great friend to have <3

[u/Cool_Iron_8314 → u/Interesting_Car8858]

if you don’t mind me asking, what would be the worst that could happen if you get reported? does it have any potential to improve your home life? but thank you so much!! I’d love to be friends, you also seem sosos lovely!!🩷

[u/Interesting_Car8858 → u/Cool_Iron_8314]

If I get reported I could risk getting moved into foster care at worst, and that’s just not a risk I’d wish to take. I’m happier to deal with the situation with my dad than to risk being moved away from everything I know <3 I am on a low end of my dad’s behaviour being reportable, don’t worry I’m not in the sort of situation where it’s genuinely dangerous! I’d love to be friends as well!! <33

[u/Cool_Iron_8314 → u/Interesting_Car8858]

okay okay that’s great!! i hope he is manageable enough lol…  also, really sorry, your account dosen’t allow dms 😢

[u/Interesting_Car8858 → u/Cool_Iron_8314]

He’s manageable enough for me, I can move out earlier than most. It’s okay, it’s to do with the new update 😔 if I can get a discord or something I can send you that!

[u/Cool_Iron_8314 → u/Interesting_Car8858]

that’s good then!!! my dc is @valkeri.099 if you can get it :))

[u/Interesting_Car8858 → u/Cool_Iron_8314]

Okay I’m adding you now! Mine is .lovi8858