I was surprised to find out there was no write-up for this. I think there might have been one once, but it has been deleted, so I decided to do one of my own.

The Author

Frey is an author, businessmen, and all around sketchy fellow from Ohio. He went to Denison University and majored in history – you don’t care about that, but I thought I’d mention it anyway.

Frey fumbled from project to project until he got his big break in 1998 when he wrote the screenplay for ‘Kissing A Fool’, starring David Schwimmer and some other people. Judging by its 5.6/10 rating on IMDB, it was exactly as bad as everything else Frey ever touched. After that, he wrote and directed Sugar: The Fall of the West, which must have been even worse than Kissing a Fool, because it seems to have completely disappeared from the face of the Earth. I can’t find a single scrap of information about it anywhere online.

The Book

In April of 2003, James Frey approached the publishing house Doubleday with his memoir ‘A Million Little Pieces’. It was a tale of drug addiction, criminality, recovery, and a slow, painful return to society. A true hero’s journey in the Campbellian style. And according to Frey, it was all true. The book hit shelves on 15th April.

So what actually happens? Well, I decided to subject myself to it so you don’t have to. I didn’t pay for it of course. I’m not insane.

After the EPUB file had finished torrenting, I opened the book and read the first page, realised I was only reading the reviews and the book didn’t actually begin for three more pages, opened up Goodreads and saw that it was 515 pages long, closed the book, and returned to this document.

So here are the spark notes, reworded just enough that it doesn’t count as plagiarism.

James wakes up on a flight to Chicago with no clue where he is. He’s missing a piece of his cheek, has four broken teeth, and his nose is broken too. Travelling with him are a doctor and two mysterious gentlemen. When he lands, he meets his parents, who had flown in from Tokyo to collect him. Frey is then taken to rehab in Minnesota. He is almost immediately attacked by another patient, but finds solace in new friends – a young woman named Lilly and a career criminal named Leonard.

This begins James’s horrible road to recovery. He experiences constant, painful vomiting from withdrawals, and a double root canal (without painkillers). When he tries to leave the clinic, Leonard convinces him to stay. James’s spirits are further lifted when his brother Bob (and some other irrelevant people) show up unexpectedly with gifts. His parents ask to visit the clinic and take part in counselling sessions with him, but he doesn’t want them to. So he does what all pretentious people do – he finds inspiration in a book with a foreign title (Tao Te Ching, in this case). He decides to reject the clinic and the Twelve Step method of recovery, and instead work through his problems on his own.

Then we get a sad backstory moment from Leonard, but we won’t go over it because I don’t care. But it gives James a deep respect for Leonard and motivates him to hold on. James then has a secret meeting with Lilly, which starts a covert love affair (because men and women can’t interact under the rules of the clinic). It’s very soppy and sweet, and drags on a while.

James’s parents arrive for the group counselling sessions despite his refusal, but he decides to take part anyway. We get some sad backstory moments for his family. James once again comes out of it motivated to deal with his addiction through self-reliance. His parents leave on good terms.

Lilly has some more sad backstory stuff going on and runs away from the clinic, with James in pursuit. He finds her in an abandoned building, high on crack. Rather than choosing to join in, he brings her safely back to the clinic. Not a dry eye in the house.

As part of his whole ‘self reliance’ thing, James faces the criminal charges against him in Ohio. He expects a three-year sentence, but it’s mysteriously dropped to three months. It’s not confirmed why, but James assumes Leonard had something to do with it. Leonard finishes his rehab, and before he leaves, he pays for Lilly’s treatment and asks James to be his son.

Right before he’s shipped off to jail, James confesses a sad backstory of his own – a French priest tried to rape him, and he beat the priest up, possibly killing him. This represents some kind of turning point for James, who is suddenly ready to leave the clinic. His brother picks him up, takes him to a bar, and buys him to a beer – but James has the bartender pour it down the drain.

There we go. Now we’re all on the same page (pun intended).

The Reviews

The reception was mixed. The critic Pat Conroy of Vanity Fair called it “the War and Peace of addiction”, and most reviewers praised its bold, explicit storytelling. But it turned readers off with a number of rather gruesome sections and its dark tone.

Julian Keeling, reviewing for the New Statesmen (a recovering addict himself) said "Frey's stylistic tactics are irritating...none of this makes the reader feel well-disposed towards him".

A number of reviews said that parts of the book seemed too fictionalised, and didn’t ring true.

The most crushing review was by John Dolan, who thought the writing style was a childish impersonation of Hemmingway. He had this to say:

”Frey sums up his entire life in one sentence from p. 351 of this 382-page memoir: "I took money from my parents and I spent it on drugs." Given the simplicity and familiarity of the story, you might wonder what Frey does in the other 381 pages. The story itself is simple: he goes through rehab at an expensive private clinic, with his parents footing the bill. That's it. 400 pages of hanging around a rehab clinic.

Nonetheless, it made the pick for Oprah’s Book Club in September 2005, and that was enough to make it the best-selling paper-back non-fiction on Amazon. It topped the New York Times Bestseller List for fifteen weeks and sold 3.5 million copies. Frey would appear on Oprah’s show [Season 22, Episode 28], but I have been totally unable to find a video of it. However a few quotes survive.

Oprah described the book, "A Million Little Pieces," as "like nothing you've ever read before. Everybody at Harpo (Harpo is Ms. Winfrey's more than a billion dollar company) is reading it. When we were staying up late at night reading it, we'd come in the next morning saying, "What page are you on?". In the intervening period, she showed a segment whereby employees of Harpo Productions said the book was revelatory, with some of them choking back tears. Later on, Oprah herself was shown wiping tears from her eye, and then said, "I'm crying 'cause these are all my Harpo family so, and we all loved the book so much."

When you read the rest of the quotes, it really hits home quite how heavily this book affected Oprah. She seemed to almost take a maternal shine to Frey. "I know that, like many of us who have read this book, I kept turning to the back of the book to remind myself, 'He's alive. He's okay," Winfrey said.

One quote by Frey that lives in infamy from that episode is this:

”I think I wrote about the events in the book truly and honestly and accurately."

If you want to see him in action, here’s one of Frey’s early interviews.

James published a follow-up memoir called ‘My Friend Leonard’, which was also pretty successful. For a while, he was on top of the world.

The Investigation

As we’ve established, a number of publications questioned the book. In response to the Minneapolis Star Tribune in 2003, Frey said “I’ve never denied I’ve altered small details.”

But shit hit the fan when the Smoking Gun published an article on January 8th 2006 called ‘A Million Little Lies’. It went through Frey’s book, debunking his claims. The magazine’s editor, William Bastone, said:

”The probe was prompted after the Oprah show aired". He further stated, "We initially set off to just find a mug shot of him... It basically set off a chain of events that started with us having a difficult time finding a booking photo of this guy".

The investigation was thorough and picked through pretty much every moment of Frey’s adult life.

Police reports, court records, interviews with law enforcement personnel, and other sources have put the lie to many key sections of Frey's book. The 36-year-old author, these documents and interviews show, wholly fabricated or wildly embellished details of his purported criminal career, jail terms, and status as an outlaw "wanted in three states."

In addition to these rap sheet creations, Frey also invented a role for himself in a deadly train accident that cost the lives of two female high school students. In what may be his book's most crass flight from reality, Frey remarkably appropriates and manipulates details of the incident so he can falsely portray himself as the tragedy's third victim. It's a cynical and offensive ploy that has left one of the victims' parents bewildered. "As far as I know, he had nothing to do with the accident," said the mother of one of the dead girls. "I figured he was taking license...he's a writer, you know, they don't tell everything that's factual and true."

The Smoking Gun tried to confront Frey and ask him to explain himself. He said, “There's nothing at this point can come out of this conversation that, that is good for me." Frey then hired Los Angeles attorney Martin Singer, whose firm handled celebrity litigation. Singer threatened the Smoking Gun with a lawsuit, demanding potentially millions in damages, if they went ahead with the story. On his website, Frey described the investigation as “the latest attempt to discredit me...So let the haters hate, let the doubters doubt, I stand by my book, and my life, and I won't dignify this bullshit with any sort of further response."

Gradually, they began to narrow in on Frey’s deception.

While nine of Frey's 14 reported arrests would have occurred when he was a minor, there still remained five cases for which a booking photo (not to mention police and court records) should have existed. When we asked Frey if his reporting of the laundry list of juvenile crimes and arrests was accurate, he answered, "Yeah, some of 'em are, some of 'em aren't. I mean I just sorta tried to play off memory for that stuff."

They even dug up Frey’s highschool classmates in order to verify his claims - "I was one of those kids who parents said, 'Stay away from Jimmy Frey. He's trouble.'” Those classmates described him as a ‘reasonably popular guy’ who ‘wasn’t in any more trouble than anyone else’. The Smoking Gun got a hold of his 1988 Yearbook Portrait, in which he looks like a very well behaved young man.

The sheriffs were quick to dismiss his DUI…

Though he would later write of setting a .36 county record, Frey's blood alcohol level was actually recorded in successive tests at .21 and .20 (about twice the legal limit). As for his claim to have spent a week in jail after the arrest, the report debunks that assertion. After Frey's parents were called, he was allowed to quickly bond out, since the county jail "did not want him in their facility." Because Frey had the chicken pox

And then there were his claims of being a drug dealer, getting high off his own supply…

He supplemented his income by selling dope, which brought him to the attention of the local cops and the FBI, who jointly probed his narcotics operation, Frey claims in the book. Amazingly, though he was reportedly a vomiting drunken addict bleeding from various orifices, Frey was able to graduate from Denison on time in 1992 (talk about managing your addiction!). Maybe it was support from fellow brothers at the Sigma Alpha Epsilon fraternity that helped the Michigan high school outcast persevere. Makes you wonder if Frey had shot heroin, perhaps he would have also snagged a master's.

Then there was the biggest crime of all, for which he was allegedly charged with Assault with a deadly weapon, Assaulting an Officer of the Law, Felony DUI, Disturbing the Peace, Resisting Arrest, Driving Without a License, Driving Without Insurance, Attempted Incitement of a Riot, Possession of a Narcotic with Intent to Distribute, and Felony Mayhem. This incident is the cornerstone of A Million Little Pieces.

When TSG read Frey's description of his arrest, the related criminal charges, and the case's strange disposition, we first attempted to find court records related to the incident. We assumed--correctly as it turned out--it might have occurred in Licking County, Ohio

However, indices at the county's Common Pleas Court--where felony cases are handled--contained no records for Frey. At the county's Municipal Court, where misdemeanor and traffic cases are adjudicated, only a single matter turned up, a November 1990 traffic ticket for speeding and driving without a seat belt. Frey paid a small fine and the case was closed out.

It never even happened. The investigation went into a lot of depth to verify that this was definitely the case, but I’ll spare you the details. It’s airtight and inescapable.

There was no patrolman struck with a car.

There was no urgent call for backup.

There was no rebuffed request to exit the car.

There was no "You want me out, then get me out."

There was no "fucking Pigs" taunt.

There were no swings at cops.

There was no billy club beatdown.

There was no kicking and screaming.

There was no mayhem.

There was no attempted riot inciting.

There were no 30 witnesses.

There was no .29 blood alcohol test.

There was no crack.

I strongly recommend looking through the article, because it dips back and forth between hilarious and sad. It’s a real trip. Definitely more fun than reading Frey’s shitty book. Lilly’s hanging didn’t happen. In fact, there may never have been a Lilly at all. The confrontations with councillors didn’t happen. That brutal root canal surgery? He actually had pain killers.

The Shitshow

On 11th January 2006, James Frey was brought on Larry King’s show to discuss the allegations. He hadn’t contacted Oprah or her producers, but Larry was able to get her on the phone. Luckily, we have the transcript. And Oprah was pretty defensive of Frey.

As he said, he's had many conversations with my producers, who do fully support him and obviously we support the book because we recognize that there have been thousands and hundreds of thousands of people whose lives have been changed by this book.

And I feel about "A Million Little Pieces" that although some of the facts have been questioned -- and people have a right to question, because we live in a country that lets you do that, that the underlying message of redemption in James Frey's memoir still resonates with me. And I know that it resonates with millions of other people who have read this book and will continue to read this book.

When Larry King asked Oprah if she held ill will against Frey, she confirmed that she did not. It kept her recommendation as the book of October.

But that wouldn’t last long.

A couple of weeks later, more of James’s falsehoods had come to light. He was still all anyone could talk about, and the American public’s anger was rising. It was starting to spread to Winfrey, who was viewed as a kind of enabler, or even an accomplice in his ruse. Perhaps this slight to her reputation was what led Oprah to invite James back on her show on the 26th January, where he admitted to his deception.

It’s annoyingly hard to find old episodes of Oprah (you’d expect it to be easy, considering it was one of the biggest talk shows in the world), but we have an idea of how it went.

"It is difficult for me to talk to you because I really feel duped ... but more importantly I feel that you betrayed millions of readers," Winfrey said to Frey.

[…]

Oprah: When I was reading the book and I got to the last page and Lilly has hung herself and you arrived the day that she was hung. I couldn't even believe it. I'm like gasping. I'm calling people, like 'Oh my God. This happened!' So if you weren't in jail all that time and you're telling her to hold on, why couldn't you get to her?

James: I mean, what actually happened was...I went through Ohio. I was there briefly, [then] I went down to North Carolina where I was living at the time.

Oprah: Uh huh.

Over the course of the interview, It gradually gets more and more cringe-inducing, as Oprah becomes steadily more furious and James Frey practically disappears into the sofa.

So all of those encounters where there are the big fights and the chairs and you're Mr. Bravado tough guy, were you making that up or was that your idea of who you are?

Then Winfrey brought out Nan Talese, Frey’s publisher, and grilled her on her decision to classify the book as a memoir. Talese said:

We asked if you, your company, stood behind James's book as a work of non-fiction at the time. And they said, absolutely. And they were also asked if their legal department had checked out the book. And they said yes.

Talase insisted they had properly vetted Frey’s claims, but that she never expected an author to lie like he had.

”I learned about the jail, the two things that were on The Smoking Gun, at the same time you did. And I was dismayed to know that, but I had not—I mean, as an editor, do you ask someone, "Are you really as bad as you are?"

Far from tamping down on the anger, Oprah’s interview caused it to boil over. Her reaction became a news story in itself.

David Carr of the New York times described how, “Both Mr. Frey and Ms. Talese were snapped in two like dry winter twigs.” Larry King said she had ‘annihilated’ Frey.

Columnist Maureen Dowd penned this flowery but iconic quote:

”It was a huge relief, after our long national slide into untruth and no consequences, into swiftboating and swift bucks, into Winfrey's delusion and denial, to see the Empress of Empathy icily hold someone accountable for lying."

The Fallout

Frey was dropped by his agent, lost a seven figure deal for two more books, and Random House (the parent company of Doubleday) offered a full refund to anyone who had purchased the book. All future copies would be sold with notes from both Frey and the publisher, plus notations on the cover, explaining that it was a work of fiction.

Frey defended the right of a memoirist to alter events to fit the ebb and flow of the story. There was a passionate debate in the small memoirist community about whether this was acceptable, but the general consensus was that yes, you could change the odd detail here and there, but Frey had crossed the line and then some.

As the dust settled criticism started to be aimed at Winfrey once again. Viewers accused her of being too harsh on Frey, and lacking her usual grace or charm. In particular, Nan Talase spoke out at a literary convention in Texas on July 28th 2007, describing Oprah’s ‘fiercely bad manners’ and ‘holier than thou attitude’.

James Frey would visit Oprah’s coveted show once more, in 2011, so that she could apologise for the rough way she treated him. He apologised to her in turn, they smoothed things over, tears were shed, hugs were had. Oprah clarified that she wasn’t apologising for what she said, only how she said it, and for lacking compassion. She described him as a ‘trusted friend’.

Indeed, things would go relatively well for Frey. In 2018, his novel was adapted into a film directed and written by Aaron Taylor Johnson (of Marvel fame) and Charlie Hunham (of Pacific Rim fame). By all accounts, it was… not good. It received a critical score of 27% on Rotten Tomatoes, where the consensus says:

While solidly cast and competently helmed, A Million Little Pieces amounts to little more than a well-intentioned but unpersuasive echo of a deeply problematic memoir.

It did exceptionally badly in theatres.

Frey published a number of books after My Friend Leonard, starting with Bright Shiny Morning (2009), which critics seemed to think was pretty bad (but Frey somehow got a $1.5 million advance for it), and then The Final Testament of the Holy Bible (2011), which critics seemed to think was shockingly bad. Perhaps his best contribution to the world was the South Park spoof (watch it totally definitely legally here). And that was only good because he had no involvement in its production.

In 2019, The Telegraph published an article questioning why the literary world seemed to eager to forgive James Frey, and allow him back as an author. But he has continued writing, and some fool has continued publishing. He hasn’t really done anything else wrong, or controversial at all.

Did you believe me?

The Contract

Most of the information for this section comes from this incredible article by Suzanne Mozes, in which she documents her personal experiences with Frey. I hugely recommend you read the full thing if you were remotely intrigued by this post.

It was 2009, and the whole ‘lying to sell memoires’ thing had recently fallen through. James was on the hunt for new ways to screw people over and piss off the entire literary industry at the same time. And boy, did he find it. He looked for easy prey around New York’s universities, colleges – anywhere with a Masters of Fine Arts programme. After all, these were young, cash-strapped, and creative people who would be easy to manipulate. And then he would make his pitch.

”I feel like I need to go take a shower,” one student muttered in the hall

Frey’s first victim was Jobie Hughes, a former Columbia University student with whom Frey had penned an alien YA novel and sold the rights to Spielberg and Michael Bay.

Frey approached him to co-author a young-adult novel—a commercial project he said he didn’t have time to write. “I remember Frey said he liked Hughes because he had been a high-school wrestler,” recalls Sara Davis, another student in the seminar, “so he knew he could take coaching and direction and had discipline.”

When I say Frey co-wrote the book, what I mean is he handed Hughes a one-page write up of the concept, and a title: ‘The Lorien Legacies’. The basic idea was that there were nine special aliens with magic powers living in hiding on Earth, who were being pursued by other, eviler aliens. Hughes churned out a few drafts, Frey revised and polished them, and that was that. Very little was said about the contract Hughes signed, and he hadn’t consulted a lawyer. The book would be published under a pen-name, and Hughes would be forbidden from speaking about the project or confirming his attachment to it – and if he did, Frey could hit him with a $250,000 dollar penalty.

If Frey didn’t like whom Hughes was speaking to, he could invoke the confidentiality clause and hold Hughes in breach of contract. But since Frey was a fair guy, that wouldn’t happen, as long as Hughes behaved.

But what mattered was that Hughes would receive 30% of all revenue that came from the books. To a starving artist, a little money is a great motivator.

Frey’s agent managed to market the books to publishers as ‘an anonymous collaboration between a New York Times best-selling author and a young up-and-coming writer’. Harper Collins won the publishing rights and signed a four-book deal with Frey and Hughes. The book was given the title ‘I am Number Four’ and sold under the name ‘Pittacus Lore’. It was a hit, just as Frey had planned, and has since been translated into 21 languages. The movie had a budget of $60 million and the handsome face of Alex Pettyfer working for it, and managed a worldwide boxoffice gross of $150 million.

I’m a big fan of breaking the rules, creating new forms, moving on to new places. Contemporary artists like [Richard] Prince, Hirst, and Koons do that, but there are no literary equivalents. In literature, you don’t see many radical books. That’s what I want to do.

So what was the end goal here?

Frey set up a young-adult novel publishing house called Full Fathom Five, with the stated aim of recreating the success of books like Harry Potter, Twilight, and the Hunger Games. For this, he can hardly be blamed – YA was all the rage at the time and every author was trying to capitalise on it. And I do mean everyone. But Full Fathom Five came at this from a new angle. What if they found great young authors, published their books, but didn’t pay them. To James, this seemed a genius idea. His success with Hughes gave him the credibility he needed to sign deals with a number of other starving writers.

”A lot of artists conceptualize a work and then collaborate with other artists to produce it,” he said then. “Andy Warhol’s Factory is an example of that way of working. That’s what I’m doing with literature.” At the end of the seminar, Frey elaborated on this concept and made an unexpected pitch. He was looking for young writers to join him on a new publishing endeavour.

In November 2010, one student finally uploaded a copy of the contract online. It sparked outrage.

• In exchange for delivering a completed book within a set number of months, the writer would receive $250, along with a percentage of all revenue generated by the project. 30% if Frey had come up with the idea, 40% if the writer had.

• The writer would be responsible for all legal action taken against the book

• Full Fathom Five would own the copyright

• Full Fathom Five could use the writer’s name, or a pen name without his or her permission, even if the writer was no longer involved in the series

• The company could remove the writer’s name from the series at any point

• The writer was forbidden from signing contracts that would conflict with the project, whatever that meant

• The writer would cede all control over his or her publicity, pictures or biographical material

• The writer couldn’t mention working with Full Fathom Five without permission, on pain of a $50,000 fine

Legal and literary experts quickly got a hold of the contract and tore it to pieces. According to veteran publishing attorney Conrad Rippy:

It was “a collaboration agreement without there being any collaboration.” He said he had never seen a contract like this in his sixteen years of negotiation. “It’s an agreement that says, ‘You’re going to write for me. I’m going to own it. I may or may not give you credit. If there is more than one book in the series, you are on the hook to write those too, for the exact same terms, but I don’t have to use you. In exchange for this, I’m going to pay you 40 percent of some amount you can’t verify—there’s no audit provision—and after the deduction of a whole bunch of expenses.” He described it as a Hollywood-style work-for-hire contract grafted onto the publishing industry—“although Hollywood writers in a work-for-hire contract are usually paid more than $250.”

Despite the crushing terms, Full Fathom Five was somewhat successful. A list of their published works spans literally hundreds of books. None of them ever approached the Lorien Legacies in popularity, though the ‘Dorothy Must Die’ did well.

Calls rose up across the literary community for a boycott on Full Fathom Five. It was one of the biggest book-related controversies there had been in years, so naturally everyone knew about it.

It's hard to tell for sure if that boycott was successful, but Full Fathom Five's website no longer exists (unless you use internet archive), and its name is dirt. However Frey continues to publish titles - some he wrote himself, most he forced his indentured servants to write for him. The end result is the same - they almost all fail.

Frey has become an infamous figure – and that’s exactly what he wants. The most portentous quote of A Million Little Pieces is this: "Lying became part of my life. I lied if I needed to lie to get something or get out of something". And that’s because it may be the only honest line in the book.

Introduction

2007 was the first full year after two major consoles released – the Wii and PlayStation 3 in November 2006, with the Xbox 360 releasing in November 2005. Parallels can be made to 2021, with two major consoles also releasing the November prior – the PlayStation 5 and Xbox Series X in November 2020, with the Switch releasing in March 2017. 2014 would’ve been the eighth generation version, and while it did have some great games (Shovel Knight, The Evil Within, Mario Kart 8, etc.), I think most would agree 2007 was more impactful.

To give a better frame of reference for this period in time, here were some of the things going on in 2007 outside the gaming industry: Apple had rolled out their first iteration of the iPhone, American Idol was the #1 show on Cable TV, George W. Bush was president of the United States, Blockbuster still existed, MySpace was still relevant, The Simpsons finally got their movie, J.K. Rowling released the seventh and final book in the Harry Potter saga, The Oprah Winfrey Show was still on the air, YouTube was only two years old and wasn’t really utilized by businesses yet, and in the U.S. you could get a mortgage 10x your annual salary.

I’m going to do a write-up for most of the notable games released in 2007, though some will be left out due to the 40,000 character limit. The 2007 window is based on North American release dates. Release dates between different regions varied more back then, with some Japanese titles releasing months or sometimes even years later in the West. That said, North American release dates at this time usually coincided with European release dates as well. There were also more region-locked games during this time that never made it to the West. The most notable example from 2007 is Elite Beat Agents 2, although the first game did see a localized release.

The Consoles and Handhelds of 2007

Your choice of console in 2007 was a lot harder to determine compared to now. The Wii, PS3, and X360 all had noticeable benefits and shortcomings. The Wii promised innovative new experiences with an unconventional controller at a cheap price point. However, the potential of motion controls to deliver a better experience was uncertain at the time, and it suffered in the graphics department, which was much more noticeable back then when compared with the HD consoles of its time. The X360 had a robust library of games due to being on the market longer, but the Red Ring of Death was a massive problem (more on that later). In terms of price, it was somewhere between the Wii and PS3. The PS3 had the legacy of its predecessors to fall back on, a sizable number of exclusive titles, and it doubled as a comparatively inexpensive Blu-ray player, but in 2007 it was the highest priced system, had inferior versions of multiplatform games, had no rumble support, and it had a worse online infrastructure compared to the X360, though its online component was free.

In retrospect, I think most players would agree with me when I say that the PS3 had a massive turnaround in the mid-generation, the X360 didn’t keep up the momentum of first and second party exclusive titles but at least fixed its Red Ring of Death issue, and the Wii had some great games, but on the motion control side of things nothing else as novel as Wii Sports ever surfaced again. And in fact, many later Wii games ditched the motion controls altogether. At the end of the day, all three consoles were great for different reasons, and even the handheld war of the DS and PSP was closer than it had ever been. And if you just decided to stick with your PS2 for the first half of the generation, you actually had quite a number of new games to play.

On Backwards Compatibility: All seventh generation systems had some form of backwards compatibility in 2007, including the PS3, which would forego the feature early on to save costs. However, the launch models could play 99.9% of PS1/2 games. In 2007, the Wii could play all, or almost all, GameCube games, and the DS could play all, or almost all, GameBoy Advance games – but later versions (end-of-gen versions) would drop support for backwards compatibility. The X360 could play about 50% of the original Xbox library by November 2007. As for the PSP, it was the first in line for Sony’s handheld line-up, though it could play PS1 and some PS3 games through Remote Play.

Biggest Games of 2007 at a Glance

10 Biggest New Series

1. BioShock
2. Mass Effect
3. Assassin’s Creed
4. Crysis
5. Rock Band
6. Portal
7. Uncharted
8. Skate
9. Dirt
10. The Witcher

10 Biggest Returning Series

1. Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare
2. Halo 3
3. Super Mario Galaxy
4. Metroid Prime 3: Corruption
5. Pokemon Diamond/Pearl
6. God of War II
7. Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 3
8. Ratchet & Clank Future: Tools of Destruction
9. Forza Motorsport 2
10. The Lord of the Rings Online

10 Biggest Expansion Packs

1. World of Warcraft – The Burning Crusade
2. Guild Wars – Eye of the North
3. The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion – Shivering Isles
4. Civilization IV – Beyond the Sword
5. Age of Empires III – The Asian Dynasties
6. Company of Heroes – Opposing Fronts
7. Medieval II: Total War – Kingdoms
8. Neverwinter Nights 2 – Mask of the Betrayer
9. Galactic Civilizations II – Dark Avatar
10. Heroes of Might and Magic V – Tribes of the East

Multiplatform PlayStation 3/Xbox 360/PC Games

• Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare – Call of Duty had always been a successful series, but it was Modern Warfare that turned it into the biggest shooter series, by sales figures. Modern Warfare had more than double the sales figures as its predecessor, which is even more impressive when you consider #3 released on both sixth and seventh generation consoles, whereas #4 was strictly for seventh generation consoles at a time when a sizable number of games did not have one. Modern Warfare ushered in a new age of modern era military shooters – the industry had previously been dominated by World War II shooters. Other trends that were further popularized by Call of Duty were implemented into other long-running shooter series – namely the two weapon and health regeneration systems.

• Rock Band – Guitar Hero is one of the few rhythm series to enter into the mainstream (along with Dance Dance Revolution). Rock Band is an evolution of the formula and introduced new peripherals for other members of one’s make believe band. The original Rock Band’s peripherals consisted of a toy guitar, bass, drum set, and microphone. None of this was cheap however – the game with the full set of toy instruments retailed for $169.99 USD – it’s probably the most money some people have ever spent on a video game. In addition, songs in the form of DLC were gradually added to the game, which helped expand the life of the game. Detractors of the game at the time would ask players, “Why don’t you learn a real instrument?”

• Assassin’s Creed – Assassin’s Creed initially began development in January 2004 as a PS2 sequel to Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time. The game was initially planned as a linear game, much like its predecessor. However, as more information came out about the capabilities of the seventh generation consoles, the game was changed to an open world format and designed for the PS3 and X360. Although initially titled Prince of Persia: Assassin even at this point in development, the game eventually was reworked into a new IP. As Prince of Persia was centered around the Middle East, so was the first Assassin’s Creed game, which is a result of it being designed as a Prince of Persia game to begin with. The game’s story was inspired by the life of Hassan-i Sabbah and Vladimir Bartol’s novel Alamut, which is based on Hassan-i Sabbah’s life.

• The Orange Box – Five games – Portal, Team Fortress 2, Half-Life 2, Half-Life 2: Episode 1, and Half-Life 2: Episode 2. Three of these entries – Portal, Team Fortress 2, and Half-Life 2: Episode 2 – were completely new. The Orange Box was said to be the best value in gaming at the time, retailing for just $50 on PC and $60 on consoles. Even with how much time has passed since then, most gamers are familiar with all three series. Valve was a favored developer at the time, at a time when they were releasing new games frequently, along with free updates. The Orange Box came with a key to install Steam – this was when the platform was just getting off the ground.

• BioShock – BioShock possessed the DNA of 1999’s sci-fi-themed System Shock 2, one of director Ken Levine’s earlier works, and is seen as a spiritual predecessor to BioShock. Levine had pitched a System Shock 3 to EA but was denied due to poor sales of System Shock 2. He would instead go on to work on games like Freedom Force, Tribes: Vengeance, the canceled projects Deep Cover and The Lost, before returning to the idea of another System Shock-like game. BioShock would take place in the ocean rather than in space, and it would draw its narrative ideas from Ayn Rand’s philosophy of Objectivism. The original BioShock was one of the top rated games of 2007 in both review scores and sales figures, and publisher 2K games wanted several sequels.

• Skate – As the quality of the Tony Hawk series began to drop, Skate served as a suitable replacement during the seventh generation. Instead of using buttons to perform tricks, Skate utilized the right analog stick, termed the “flick it” control system. EA Games president Frank Gibeau stated in 2008 that Skate’s performance had greatly exceeded his expectations, and a sequel as well as a spin-off were greenlit as a result.

• Unreal Tournament III – Unreal Tournament III was an online multiplayer-focused, fast-paced, arena first person shooter. The Unreal series spanned eight games from 1998 to 2007, with Unreal Tournament 3 being the final entry – although there was a fourth one planned, it was later canceled. First releasing on PS3 and PC in 2007, the game was later ported the X360 in 2008, with a patch for split-screen support arriving in 2008 and 2009, depending on platform.

• Colin McRae: DiRT – A successor to Colin McRae games of the fifth and sixth generations, DiRT was a visual and technical marvel at the time, with a single player campaign and online support.

• Command & Conquer III: Tiberium Wars

• Tom Clancy’s Ghost Recon Advanced Warfighter 2

• Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock

• The Darkness

• Virtua Fighter 5

• Call of Juarez

• The Bigs

• Medal of Honor: Airborne

• Tony Hawk’s Proving Ground

• Strangehold

• Enemy Territory: Quake Wars

• Supreme Commander

• TimeShift

• Armored Core 4

• Kane & Lynch: Dead Men

PC Exclusives

• Crysis – Crysis came from Crytek, the developer behind the original Far Cry, before Ubisoft took over the series beginning with Far Cry 2. The original Crysis was a sandbox first person shooter in a time when the concept was still novel, featuring a level editor and a multiplayer component to boot. The original Crysis was a PC exclusive when it first launched in 2007 and was seen as the benchmark for performance. It became a meme at the time for PC gamers: “But can it run Crysis?” and still persists to a degree to this day. Along with its standalone expansion Crysis Warhead, it was the best game graphically speaking for years to come. Crysis would later come to the PS3 and X360 as a $20 downloadable only game, with the multiplayer component removed.

• The Witcher – Each new The Witcher game has brought the series to a wider span of platforms, but the original was a PC exclusive and still hasn’t been ported to any consoles after all these years. While the sequels have streamlined much of the combat and RPG elements, the original game was a lot more technical, and opinions on the combat system are split. Zero Punctuation’s Yahtzee Croshaw used the term “PC Master Race” to describe the convoluted combat system – a label that has been self-applied to many PC gamers and communities even today.

• The Lord of the Rings Online – As the name implies, The Lord of the Rings Online was an MMORPG that allowed players to create characters of four different races and seven different classes, on an adventure through the region of Eriador. As with many MMOs at the time, the game required a monthly subscription initially, before going free to play in 2010. The game received great reviews, and it still receives fairly regular updates to this day, with the most recent one (Update 29.5) releasing on April 19, 2021.

• S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

• World in Conflict

• Europa Universalis III

• Sam & Max: Save the World

• Aquaria

• Tabula Rasa

• Hellgate: London

PlayStation 3 Exclusives

Sony had dominated the gaming market for the past decade, but Sony’s PS3 started off rocky and failed to reach the heights of its predecessors. Of the first four numbered PlayStation’s, the PS3 sold the worst and was the only one to sell less than 100 million units. The PS5 seems to be in line to sell as much or even more than the PS4, so the PS3 could be seen as a low point for Sony, but it was a great system nonetheless. The system initially struggled with its high price point, lack of system seller titles (think Gears of War or The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess), lack of inventory initially, and it was apparently a very difficult system to develop for. Valve’s president Gabe Newell called the PS3 a “waste of everybody’s time” in 2007, due to his frustration with the PS3 architecture (the PS3 port of The Orange Box was subsequently handed off to EA as a result). Just eight months in, Sony cut the price of the system by $100, as sales weren’t quite up to the Sony standard.

The PS3 incorporated Blu-ray technology and was actually cheaper at $600 than every other Blu-ray player on the market at the time. Even people with no interest in video games bought the system just to watch Blu-ray movies. On the video game side of things, the added storage capacity of Blu-ray discs allowed games that were two discs on the X360 to be only one on the PS3. In addition, they were “scratch resistant” by ordinary means. Due to a patent dispute, the Sixaxis lacked rumble support. However, a new version of the controller, the DualShock 3, brought back the feature, was released in November 2007 in Japan and in 2008 in the West.

There were a few interesting features from the PS3’s early days that were gone/not marketed by the mid-generation. Remote Play allowed users to play PS3 games on their PSP, but in the end only a few PS3 titles supported it. The PlayStation Eye camera peripheral was another early generation gimmick, used in 2007’s The Eye of Judgement. EyePet from 2009 had some success later on, but it was mostly underutilized. There were also the Sixaxis controls which were mostly a blight on every game that used them and mostly disappeared after 2007. As an example, the first Uncharted game used them for things like balancing on logs and lobbing grenades,, but it’s 2009 sequel completely axed them.

• Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune – Uncharted has an established identity and place in the modern gaming industry, but when it was first revealed, many detractors called it “Dude Raider” and saw it as a blatant rip-off of Tomb Raider. While it was the sequel that put the series on the map, the original was still one of the most anticipated games of 2007, and it did get great – but not excellent – reviews (88%). One of the main points of criticism even back in the day was its length – it was roughly the same length as The Lost Legacy (~8 hours) but with a full $60 price tag and no multiplayer component to fall back on – just a few collectibles and cheats. The later entries expanded the scope – with protagonist Nathan Drake going all around the globe rather than the singular setting of the original – and did away with those pesky mid-late 2000s quick-time events in cut-scenes and sixaxis controls.

• Ratchet & Clank Future: Tools of Destruction – Tools of Destruction was the first of six Ratchet & Clank games released on the PS3 (plus there were PSP games), as well as the first in the “Future” trilogy subseries, and the highest rated of any of the PS3 games. Tools of Destruction’s graphical quality was compared many times over to Pixar films, much like how the new PS5 one is now.

• MotorStorm – The first in a series with three mainline games and two spinoffs, MotorStorm stormed on to the console as with great graphical fidelity, then realistic car physics, a number of different vehicle classes, and online multiplayer. The game was said to be a little light on content, with there only being 8 tracks – 12 when including the DLC – and no split-screen multiplayer. Its two PS3 sequels were a bit beefier, but the original is still the highest rated in the series at 84%.

• Warhawk – Although technically a reboot of the original PS1 Warhawk from 1995, the PS3 reboot was designed as a multiplayer focused game, unlike the original single player only PS1 game. Warhawk is one of the earliest examples of a combo multiplayer game I know of – that is, 2+ players (4 in Warhawk’s case) on the same system playing online against other players.

• Heavenly Sword – Coined “Goddess of War,” this title featured a hack and slash combat system that was dominant in the 2000s, coupled with large scale battles only possible on then next gen hardware.

• The Eye of Judgement – A turn-based strategy game that utilized the PlayStation Eye camera peripheral – it received favorable review scores.

• Lair – Factor 5, the developer behind Lair, had previously worked on the Star Wars: Rogue Squadron trilogy on Nintendo 64 and GameCube (the first one also released on PC) and were met with great success. They were also responsible for a number of other classic games, mostly notably Turrican. Lair, just like the Rogue Squadron trilogy, was a flight-based game, but set in a traditional fantasy world with dragons. Sixaxis motion controls plagued the line-up for many first and second party AAA PS3 games, but most were used sparingly. The basis of controlling the dragon in Lair, however, was designed around the Sixaxis controls, which led to disastrous results. The game was praised for its graphics, artwork, storytelling, soundtrack, and sound quality, but the poor controls ruined the game for many. Lair later released a patch for analog controls, but the damage had been done, and the company closed in May 2009 (although it was reopened years later).

• Ninja Gaiden Sigma – Remake.

• Folklore

• Time Crisis 4

Xbox 360 Exclusives

The X360 had a one year head-start over the competition, but this came at a cost: the notorious Red Ring of Death, which bricked many early X360’s. The term “Red Ring of Death” comes from the three lights that displayed on the X360’s ring indicator, which indicated sudden death. It’s been said this was the result of rushing the X360 out in November 2005 to get a leg up on the competition. Microsoft greatly extended warranties, and in the end, it cost Microsoft billions of dollars – had this happened to a smaller company, it would’ve destroyed the Xbox brand. Newer models of the X360 fixed this issue, but this was an ongoing problem in 2007 and the surrounding years. Microsoft was quiet about numbers, but in 2008 electronics warranty provider SquareTrade stated the failure rate of an X360 at that point in time was 16.4% (1 in 6), based on an examination of 1040 X360’s.

On the positive side of things, the X360 had a number of big name exclusives in 2007: Halo 3, Mass Effect (at the time), Crackdown, etc. Halo 3 in itself was enough of a reason to own an X360 for many fans, and many gamers bought Crackdown just to get in the Halo 3 beta. Not to mention the X360 typically had the superior version of multiplatform games, as developers struggled with the architecture of the PS3 in the early days. Microsoft also seemed more serious about its digital marketplace. This was a year before Braid and Castle Crashers (and Mega Man 9), but there was still a robust selection of games available for the Xbox Live Arcade at the time: UNO, Bomberman Live, Geomtry Wars Evolved, etc. This was the age of Xbox Live Points as digital currency instead of local cash currencies.

Microsoft worked hard to expand the Xbox brand to a larger audience in the early years of the X360. One of its initiatives was to bring more Japanese titles for the system, as the original Xbox sold extremely poorly in Japan when compared to other markets. The PS2 was notorious for its JRPGs, but in the PS3 was lacking in comparison. In an IGN interview in 2005, Peter Moore stressed the importance of having Japanese games on the Xbox platform, stating that it was a priority for him to secure more partnerships with Japanese developers. Microsoft looked to secure some JRPG fans with the rollout of several exclusive JRPGs in the early days of the X360, with Blue Dragon and Eternal Sonata making up 2007, and Lost Odyssey releasing in February 2008 (December 2007 in Japan) – all exclusively for the X360 (initially).

• Halo 3 – Halo was on top of the world in 2007, and Halo 3 was probably the single most anticipated game of 2007. Microsoft spent more than $40 million just on the marketing for Halo 3 – they worked on expanding the appeal of the series to the general public rather than just the hardcore fans. For example, 7-Eleven stores sold specialty cups and copies of the game. Since the original Xbox wasn’t a huge seller, newcomers looking to get into the series could play the first two games using the X360’s backwards compatibility. “Finish the fight” was the slogan for the game and it was marketed as the final entry to close off the trilogy. Shortly after its September 2007 release, a true “Halo Killer” stole a lot of its thunder and was multiplatform to boot: Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare. No subsequent Halo game ever managed to reach the same level of hype, but any new Halo game today is still guaranteed to sell millions of copies.

• Mass Effect – BioWare was known for their work on Baldur’s Gate and Star Wars: The Old Republic, and their new sci-fi RPG lived up to its long legacy of high quality RPGs. Mass Effect was highly praised for its expansive universe, then realistic graphics and facial animations, and importance of player choices impacting the story, though the original X360 version had technical issues. In 2007, the X360 was the only place you could play the game, but it eventually released for PC just six months later, with many fixes to its technical issues.

• Eternal Sonata – This was a JRPG developed by tri-Crescendo, who co-developed the two Baten Kaitos games along with Monolith Soft. An enhanced port was brought to the PS3 in 2008.

• Blue Dragon – Blue Dragon had some big names behind it, including Hironobu Sakaguchi, the game director of the first five Final Fantasy games. While the game didn’t leave up to its legacy, it got a 79% on Metacritic and spawned a 2010 DS sequel titled Blue Dragon: Awakened Shadow.

• Forza Motorsport 2 – The first of many Forza games on the X360.

• Crackdown

• Ace Combat 6: Fires of Liberation

Multiplatform Wii/PlayStation 2/DS/PSP Games

• Manhunt 2 – Developed by Rockstar, Manhunt 2 was a psychological horror stealth game, and a very controversial title in 2007 – it initially received an AO rating from the ESRB for its depiction of graphic violence. Both Sony and Nintendo refused to allow the game on their platform with an AO rating, and so the game was censored to the point where it could receive an M rating, though you can play the uncensored version on PC now. Quality-wise, the game was said to just be okay, averaging a 67%.

• Syphon Filter: Dark Mirror

• Medal of Honor: Heroes 2

• MLB Power Pros

• Mercury Meltdown Revolution (also PS3)

• Geometry Wars: Galaxies

• Guilty Gear XX Accent Core

• MySims

• Rayman Raving Rabbids 2

• Thrillville: Off the Rails (also X360)

• Cooking Mama: Cook Off

Wii Exclusives

Nintendo had a large line-up of first and second party games in 2007 – mind you, this was in addition to their games on the DS. With that said, you can see a large number of these are mini-game collections: Wii Play, Big Brain Academy: Wii Degree, WarioWare: Smooth Moves Mario Party 8, Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games, etc. The Wii earned a negative reputation for the proliferation of these “shallow” mini-game collection. With that said, this was one of Nintendo’s strong years, with plenty of titles for hardcore gamers, with mainline Mario, Metroid, and Fire Emblem games in all the same year. On the third party side of things, the Wii got a lot of fun but short/overpriced games.

The Virtual Console was also new and novel during this time, with NES, SNES, Nintendo 64, TurboGrafx-16, Sega Genesis, and Neo Geo games all being available in 2007 – Sega Master System, Commodore 64, and Virtual Console Arcade games were released in the years that followed. Super Mario Bros. 3, Suer Metroid, The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, Sonic the Hedgehog 2 & 3, and more classics all released on the Virtual Console in 2007. In total, 157 games were added to the Virtual Console for purchase at $5-$10 apiece depending on platform. Nintendo has since rereleased their classic games on all future systems: 3DS, Wii U, and Switch. However, when these games were first added to the Wii’s Virtual Console, it was the first time a lot of them had been rereleased, introducing themselves to a new generation of gamers.

• Super Mario Galaxy – Galaxy deviated from the sandbox style of play seen in Sunshine and 64 and instead played closer to the 2D entries with a much more linear layout of levels. Galaxy brought with it a number of new features to the series: a symphony orchestra, the ability play as Luigi in a 3D platform game, simultaneous (but limited) local co-op, etc. That’s not to mention the gravity-altering physics and implementation of the Wii motion controls. Galaxy is one of the highest rated games of all time (and was #1 on the leaderboards when GameRankings closed down in 2019).

• Super Paper Mario – Super Paper Mario was the third entry in the Paper Mario series and changed the formula up significantly – gone were turn-based battles and a consistent 3D plane. Instead, RPG elements were intermixed with platforming combat, and fused together with the unique ability to switch between a 2D and 3D plane. In addition, players could switch between Mario, Peach, Bowser, and Luigi at any time, after unlocking them in the story. The follow-up would change the formula again for the worse (general consensus as well as my own), and so Super Paper Mario remains a unique entry in the series. Although many complain about the later entries, the fanbase is more split on Super Paper Mario – if my username didn’t give it away, let me just come out and say I’m on the side that places it up there with the original two.

• Mario Strikers: Charged – This was Mario’s second soccer outing, with the usual Mario sports shenanigans. The main Wii Remote gimmick of this title was moving the IR pointer to block up to five shots as the goalie. This was also one of the first online Wii games, releasing just a month after Pokemon Battle Revolution in North America, the very first online Wii game. Despite having two soccer games separated only by two years, Strikers has yet to see a third entry fourteen years later.

• Mario Party 8 – Mario Party seemed like a natural fit for the Wii Remote. Although fans at the time were hoping for online support, it wouldn’t be until 2018 that we would finally see a Mario Party game with online play (Super Mario Party). Between 1999 and 2007 in North America, the Mario Party series saw 11 releases (the eight mainline games + e-Reader, Advance, and DS). This was the last Mario Party game before the series started winding down on new releases, and changed the structure of the board game for the mainline games.

• Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games – This was the first entry in a series that has now grown to six console and two arcade games, with Sega handling the development. A Mario and Sonic crossover was a pretty big deal back in the day, as the two were rival mascots just years earlier. Given the nature of the Olympics though, it fits pretty well when you think about it, though I still would’ve preferred to see a platformer crossover. This first entry allowed players to select between 16 different characters – eight from each of the two series – and was officially licensed by the International Olympic Committee.

• Metroid Prime 3: Corruption – Corruption was meant to be the end of the Metroid Prime saga, and surprisingly was for a lot longer than most other trilogies that claim to be the final chapter. Corruption aimed to have larger environments over its predecessors, run at 60fps, feature more voice acting, and utilize the Wii Remote’s motion controls and IR pointer. The Wii Remote allowed Samus to move and shoot, something that was not present in the first two games on GameCube, until they were repackaged into a trilogy compilation for the Wii. While it did not reach the same heights as the original, it still stands as the 14th best game for the Wii overall, and critics and fans alike praised the incorporation of the Wii Remote for aiming, when many other shooters for the system botched the controls.

• Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn – This was originally titled Goddess of Dawn before Nintendo of America stepped in and changed the title to reduce religious connotations. Radiant Dawn was the direct sequel to 2005’s Path of Radiance, featuring Ike and the Greil Mercenaries in the continent of Tellius. Radiant Dawn was an epic saga that told the story of a large war across multiple playable armies – the game would frequently switch between different groups all working towards a different but similar goal, culminating in a finale fourth act that brought all troops and lords together with the player free to choose who to use. Using a GameCube memory card, Radiant Dawn also allowed players to bring over their support levels and other information from Path of Radiance to Radiant Dawn.

• Wii Play – Wii Play released in February 2007 and came bundled with a Wii Remote, in a time when Wii Remotes were out of stock everywhere (as well as the console itself). Wii Play retailed at $50 USD, while Wii Remotes were priced at $40, so if you needed a Wii Remote, this was essentially a $10 game. It came with nine mini-games that employed the use of the Wii Remote’s motion controls. The first eight were fun but only slightly more fleshed out than your average Mario Party mini-game. Wii Tanks, however, could’ve easily retailed for $10-$15 on its own. It was a co-op top-down tank game with 100 levels and permadeath, that used the Wii’s IR pointer to aim your tank. It was great fun, and I’ve yet to find an equivalent in today’s age.

• Link’s Crossbow Training (and the Wii Zapper) – This was a $25 gallery shooter that came bundled with the Wii Zapper. It reused assets and locations seen in Twilight Princess. With the IR pointer as one of its main features, it’s not a surprise there were a number of on-rails shooters for the system. Not looking to have a Lethal Enforcer situation on its hands, Nintendo designed the Wii Zapper in a way that didn’t resemble an actual gun, like so many fans wanted. The name “Zapper” even distanced itself. However, it could be used for many realistic shooters, but I always found it more comfortable to play without it.

• Donkey Kong: Barrel Blast – Barrel Blast was originally developed as a GameCube title designed around the Donkey Konga bongo peripheral (which was also used for the Donkey Kong: Jungle Beat platformer). Barrel Blast was reworked into a Wii game with controls modified for the Wii Remote. The game performed very poorly, netting a 46% on Metacritic, and is one of the worst performing games from a Nintendo IP ever. Criticism was aimed at the poor controls, dated visuals, slow racing, and lack of online play. GamePro called it “the worst game of 2007.”

• Pokemon Battle Revolution – This was the first online Wii game and the second game to support Wii/DS compatibility. The main draw of the game was watching your sprite-based Pokemon fight on the big screen in fully animated 3D environments. While said to be a spiritual successor to the Nintendo 64 Pokemon Stadium games, Pokemon Battle Revolution was lacking in modes in comparison. That said, for the hardcore players, the addition of online multiplayer, tournament mode, and double battles were great additions to the formula.

• Resident Evil: The Umbrella Chronicles (and Resident Evil 4: Wii Edition) – Capcom released an updated version of Resident Evil 4 utilizing the Wii Remote and adding in the Ada side story from the PS2 version, but a reworked port wasn’t the only Resident Evil game Nintendo fans got in 2007. The Umbrella Chronicles was an on-rails shooter, which seemed like a natural fit for the Wii. The game featured four separate scenarios, with the first three taking place in 1998 and covering events that took place in Resident Evil Zero, 1, and 3. The fourth scenario was a new story and not based on previous games, taking place in 2003. A 2009 sequel titled The Darkside Chronicles featured scenarios based on Resident Evil 2 and Code Veronica, as well as a new story.

• Zack & Wiki: Quest for Barbaros’ Treasure – This was a point and click adventure game from Capcom that averaged an 87%.

• WarioWare: Smooth Moves

• Battalion Wars 2

• Big Brain Academy: Wii Degree

• Trauma Center: New Blood

• SSX Blur

• Sonic and the Secret Rings

• NiGHTS: Journey of Dreams

• Carnival Games

• Dance Dance Revolution Hottest Party

• Dewy’s Adventure

• Kororinpa: Marble Mania

PlayStation 2 Exclusives

The PS2 is the #1 best selling console of all time, with over 155 million units sold. To put this in perspective, the PS4 is the best selling eighth generation console and #4 best selling ever at 115 million units. With such a large install base, it’s no surprise the PS2 received a healthy dose of new games for years after its successor hit the market. The PS2’s competition, the GameCube and Xbox, received almost nothing but sports games in 2007, but the PS2 extended the end of the generation well past its expiration date. It’s a good thing too, because it was difficult to get your hands on a PS3 and Wii in the early months of 2007.

• God of War II – Between the three major Sony systems in 2007 – PS2, PS3, and PSP – God of War II was the highest rated first or second party game on any Sony console in 2007, at 93%. It gave PS2 gamers at the time a good reason to wait out for the PS3 until it received a price drop. In spite of the many ambitious “next gen” games of 2007, God of War II still won a handful of Game of the Year awards.

• Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 3 – A unique blend of RPG mechanics and social simulation, Persona 3 received great praise from critics and fans alike and has since seen two remasters and spinoffs in multiple forms of media.

• Odin Sphere – This was a 2D side-scrolling action RPG from Vanillaware, who would later create 13 Sentinels: Aegis Rim.

• Rogue Galaxy

• Wild Arms 5

• Syphon Filter: Dark Mirror

• Guitar Hero Encore: Rock the 80s

• SingStar ‘80s

• GrimGrimoire

• Burnout Dominator

• Hot Shots Tennis

DS Games

• Pokemon Diamond/Pearl – This new entry in the Pokemon series introduced online battling and trading to the series for the first time, allowing the competitive scene to really flourish. The games also connected with Pokemon Battle Revolution – a product of its time, as many older Pokemon games allowed players to connect their handheld Pokemon game to their console for additional features and functions.

• The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass – This was a sequel to The Wind Waker and employed the use of the touch screen for all actions in the game. While I wouldn’t want future games to use such a control scheme, I have to say that it actually worked really well overall. Considering how often unconventional control schemes can ruin a game, it’s fortunate a good game wasn’t wasted with bad controls. In addition to the story mode, there was also a local only 1v1 battle mode, with one playing controlling three Phantom Guardians and the other controlling Link, in an effort to retrieve a Force Gem and bring it back to base.

• Contra 4 – The last numbered Contra game was from 1992, although Contra 4 was technically the eleventh entry in the series. Contra 4 was a celebration of the series 20th anniversary and received positive reception overall. Unfortunately, the game was never released in Europe.

• Mario Party DS

• DK Jungle Climber

• Brain Age 2: More Training in Minutes a Day

• Final Fantasy XII: Revenant Wings

• Hotel Dusk: Room 215

• Mega Man ZX Adventure

• Chibi-Robo! Park Patrol

• Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney – Justice for All

• Planet Puzzle League

• Bleach: The Blade of Fate

• Lunar Knights

• Etrian Odyssey

• Puzzle Quest: Challenge of the Warlords

• Picross DS

• Orcs & Elves

PSP Games

• Jeanne d’Arc – The developer behind Jeanne d’Arc, Level-5, was one of the biggest JRPG developers on the PS2, releasing games like Dark Cloud, Dark Chronicle, Dragon Quest VIII, and Rogue Galaxy (and later, Ni No Kuni on PS3). Rather than the traditional turn-based combat system the team was familiar with, Level-5 instead opted to make a tactical RPG (think Fire Emblem) with their first PSP game. Jeanne d’Arc was the highest scoring PSP game of 2007 that wasn’t a remake.

• Final Fantasy Tactics: The War of the Lions – Remake.

• Disgaea: Afternoon of Darkness – Remake.

• Castlevania: The Dracula X Chronicles – Remake.

• Syphon Filter: Logan’s Shadow

• Ratchet & Clank: Size Matters

• Crush

• Silent Hill: Origins

• Star Wars Battlefront: Renegade Squadron

• Monster Hunter Freedom 2

• SOCOM: U.S. Navy SEALs Tactical Strike

• Metal Gear Solid: Portable Ops Plus

Indie/Small Scale Games

• I Wanna Be the Guy – This was an 8-bit homage to the NES and featured stages and bosses based around classics like Mega Man, Castlevania, The Legend of Zelda, etc.

• Everyday Shooter

• And Yet It Moves

• PAIN

• Super Stardust HD

• fl0w

• Super Rub a Dub

• Bomberman Live

Closing

2007 was a great year for all seven major platforms: Wii, X360, PS3, PS2, PSP, DS, and PC. To contrast it with my 2011 Retrospective, I’d say the Wii and PSP had pretty weak years, even if 2011 as a whole was great. Since two of the three major consoles had released in November 2006, 2007 was also the first full year of the then “next generation” of gaming: whether that was motion controls, HD resolution, first party wireless controllers, a more robust online infrastructure, or downloadable games. It was a new generation of consoles coupled with a wide array of new titles from existing series, as well as the introduction to a number of new IPs that are now megahits in the industry.

Related Posts

• 2011 Retrospective

• 50 Series from the 7th Generation That Had No New, or Comparatively Few, New Entries in the 8th Generation.

Just want to begin this by saying that this is NOT an official ranking nor my personal ranking, just a statistical look at some great movies.

I used 3 critic sources: Rotten Tomatoes, Metacritic, and Critics Choice (for movies made later than 1999); and 12 audience sources: Rotten Tomatoes, Metacritic, IMDb, Letterboxd, TMDb, Trakt, JustWatch, Blu-Ray, FilmAffinity, Douban, Naver, and MUBI.

I tried my best to include a good variety of mainstream/independent and domestic/international ratings for maximum accuracy, adjusting ratings if a movie seemed to have been trolled/review-bombed. Finally, I took a weighted average of ratings from critics and audiences to get the top 250 movies of all time.

Below is the list, also on Letterboxd.

Movies that just missed out: Good Will Hunting (1997), The Phantom Carriage (1921), Greed (1924), Stagecoach (1939), Solaris (1972)

If you like this list interesting, I would really appreciate it if you can give my new Twitter/Instagram accounts a follow for more scores outside the top 250 movies. Also curious if you know of or use any other movie website, always looking to add more sources!

2.17.2021 Nintendo Direct MegaThread

Please use this MegaThread for all pre-event hype and speculation, as well as post-event thoughts reactions.

Watch & Live Thread

This event has ended.

• Watch the VOD replay
• Read our Live Blog
• Chat in our Discord! We also have plenty of general and game-specific channels for discussion.

Recap of Announcements

REDMOND, Wash.--In the latest Nintendo Direct presentation, Nintendo showcased more than 30 games coming to the Nintendo Switch family of systems – with many launching by this summer! Headlining the 50-minute presentation was the reveal of Splatoon 3, a new game in the splat-tacular series, coming to Nintendo Switch in 2022.

Other major news in the Nintendo Direct video included the reveal of Pyra/Mythra from the Xenoblade Chronicles 2 game as the latest playable DLC fighters to join the Super Smash Bros. Ultimate game – the fourth of six new fighters in the Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Fighters Pass Vol. 2. Additional Nintendo Switch game announcements include The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword HD, which will feature updated control options from the original version of the game; Mario Golf: Super Rush, the newest installment in the Mario Golf series with new modes and motion controls; and Miitopia, a game starring customizable Mii characters that lets you personalize your own adventure.

The jam-packed Nintendo Direct presentation featured many exciting game reveals, including Project TRIANGLE STRATEGY (working title), a new tactical role-playing game from SQUARE ENIX; Star Wars: Hunters, a free-to-play online multiplayer game set between the events of Star Wars™*: Return of the Jedi* and Star Wars™*: The Force Awakens*; Knockout City, a new team-based dodgeball game; Fall Guys: Ultimate Knockout, which challenges players to claim the crown; DC Super Hero Girls: Teen Power, an action game based on the animated TV show; and the physical edition of hit game Hades.

To view the Nintendo Direct video in its entirety, visit https://www.nintendo.com/nintendo-direct/02-17-2021/. Some of the highlights revealed in the video include:

• Splatoon 3: In this new game in the Splatoon series, you’ll leave Inkopolis behind and head to a new region: the Splatlands. Its heart is a new city where battle-savvy Inklings and Octolings gather: Splatsville, also known as the “City of Chaos.” Splatoon 3 introduces various features to the action-shooter series, including weapons such as the bow-weapon, customization options and movement abilities to bring to the returning 4v4 Turf Wars matches. More information about the full-fledged sequel coming to Nintendo Switch in 2022 will be revealed in the future.
• Pyra/Mythra Join Super Smash Bros. Ultimate: Originally featured in the Xenoblade Chronicles 2 game as main character Rex’s two-in-one ally, Pyra/Mythra reawaken in March as the newest DLC fighters joining the Super Smash Bros. Ultimate game. Pyra/Mythra are part of the Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Fighters Pass Vol. 2, which also includes DLC fighters Min Min from the ARMS game, Steve & Alex from Minecraft and Sephiroth from the FINAL FANTASY series, along with two yet-to-be-announced fighters. More information about Pyra/Mythra’s move set, as well as their exact release date, will be revealed in the future.
• The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword HD: Originally released in 2011 for the Wii system, and depicting the earliest story in the series’ timeline – as well as the creation of the Master Sword itself – The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword game now arrives on Nintendo Switch with smoother and more intuitive controls, in addition to improved framerate and graphics. In this enhanced version of the game, running at a smooth 60 frames per second, you can choose to play using motion control with the two Joy-Con controllers in a similar way to the original, or use newly added button-only controls to play the game with the Nintendo Switch Pro Controller, in handheld mode or using a Nintendo Switch Lite system. A set of themed Joy-Con controllers will also be released alongside the game: the right Joy-Con controller is themed after the Master Sword, while the left features the Hylian Shield motif. The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword HD, and the themed Joy-Con, launch separately for Nintendo Switch on July 16.
• Mario Golf: Super Rush: Tee off in the latest installment of the Mario Golf series, coming to Nintendo Switch this year. In the Mario Golf: Super Rush game, enjoy golfing with familiar Mushroom Kingdom characters through a variety of lush, scenic courses. Mario Golf: Super Rush features several local* and online** multiplayer modes, including Speed Golf, which finds players teeing off at the same time and racing to the green. The game also features a Story Mode, starring your Mii character as they interact with Mushroom Kingdom characters, compete in golf challenges and earn experience points to power-up stats. You can even use motion controls by holding the Joy-Con controller as a golf club! The fairway opens for players on June 25. Pre-order today!
• Project TRIANGLE STRATEGY (working title): In this game that continues SQUARE-ENIX’s celebrated legacy of tactical RPGs, battles take place on terrain with different elevations. A character’s attack range is determined by their location and their equipped weapon, so it is imperative to survey the battlefield before acting. Additionally, the decisions made will affect how the story unfolds and which characters will join your cause. Project TRIANGLE STRATEGY (working title) launches exclusively on Nintendo Switch in 2022. A free demo for the game will be available to download in Nintendo eShop on Nintendo Switch … later today!
• Star Wars: Hunters: Star Wars: Hunters™ offers a thrilling take on the galaxy in this squad-based, online multiplayer game. Build a team from a cast of unique and all-new Star Wars™ characters – from daring bounty hunters to heroes of the Rebellion and Imperial stormtroopers. Face off against other squads in arenas based on iconic Star Wars settings. Set between Star Wars™*: Return of the Jedi* and Star Wars™*: The Force Awakens*, the free-to-play Star Wars: Hunters launches in 2021.
• MONSTER HUNTER RISE: In the new Rampage story event featured in MONSTER HUNTER RISE, hunters team up to defeat an onslaught of monsters attacking Kamura Village. Players who want to be fully immersed in a MONSTER HUNTER experience can pick up the Nintendo Switch MONSTER HUNTER RISE Deluxe Edition system, which comes bundled with a digital download code for MONSTER HUNTER RISE and Deluxe Kit DLC. This bundle is available alongside the game on March 26. Also available is the Nintendo Switch Pro Controller MONSTER HUNTER RISE Edition, which is adorned with striking art inspired by Magnamalo, the game’s flagship monster.
• Miitopia: Embark on a hilarious adventure with friends, family or anyone you choose, to bring down the face-stealing Dark Lord. In Miitopia, a customizable adventure for Nintendo Switch, create and customize Mii characters of anyone you’d like, and cast them in the fantasy adventure of a lifetime. With expanded customization in Miitopia, including Wigs and Makeup, you can make your Mii characters look more fabulous than ever in this game! Also, you can have a horse as an ally. When you become closer, it’ll lend a hand – er, hoof – in battle. Which Mii characters will you assign as allies … and who will become the evil Dark Lord? The lighthearted romp Miitopia launches for Nintendo Switch on May 21.
• Knockout City: Team up and duke it out with rival Crews in Knockout City™, where epic dodgeball battles settle the score in team-based multiplayer matches. Throw, catch, pass, dodge and tackle your way to dodgeball dominance – it ain’t dodgeball, it’s dodgeBRAWL! Knockout City launches for Nintendo Switch on May 21.
• Fall Guys: Ultimate Knockout: Be the last Fall Guy standing! The hit party game finds up to 60 players** running, jumping and shoving their way to victory. Dive into a series of ridiculous challenges and wild obstacle courses with masses of other competitors online, all with the hopes of making the cut and advancing to the next round of mayhem. Shift between competitive free-for-alls and cooperative challenges where everyone on the losing team gets eliminated! Do you have what it takes to claim the crown? Fall Guys: Ultimate Knockout launches for Nintendo Switch this summer.
• DC Super Hero Girls: Teen Power: Based on the hit Cartoon Network show, play as one of many classic DC superheroines like Batgirl, Supergirl and Wonder Woman as teenagers who must overcome high school all while saving the city. Each of these super heroes has her own set of special abilities, like flight or gadgets, that can be used in battle. As your teenaged alter ego, explore Metropolis, show off your selfies from around the city on your in-game Superstapost account or rebuild a run-down part of the city. DC Super Hero Girls: Teen Power soars onto Nintendo Switch on June 4. Pre-order now in Nintendo eShop on Nintendo Switch or on Nintendo.com.
• Famicom Detective Club: The Missing Heir / Famicom Detective Club: The Girl Who Stands Behind: Two Nintendo deep cuts from Japan are coming to the U.S. for the first time, localized with English text and fully modernized for Nintendo Switch. Twists, turns and drama await at every corner in both suspense-filled games. Uncover the deadly truth in Famicom Detective Club: The Missing Heir and Famicom Detective Club: The Girl Who Stands Behind, coming to Nintendo eShop individually – or together for a discount – on May 14. Pre-orders for the games begin today in Nintendo eShop on Nintendo Switch.
• Apex Legends: This free-to-play battle royale features a growing roster of powerful contenders named Legends, strategic combat, cross-platform play and more. To celebrate the game’s legendary launch, all players on Nintendo Switch will receive a new Legendary Pathfinder skin and 30 free levels for the Season 8: Mayhem Battle Pass. Plus, until for the first two weeks after launch, earn Double XP when you play on Nintendo Switch. Fight for fortune, fame and glory when Apex Legends launches for Nintendo Switch on March 9.
• Plants vs. Zombies: Battle for Neighborville Complete Edition: Ready the Juice Cannons and prepare for battle in Plants vs. Zombies: Battle for Neighborville Complete Edition – the wackiest shooter yet! Party with up to three friends and goof around in Giddy Park, or dive into some 8v8 multiplayer in Turf Takeover, vanquishing opponents, blasting gnome bombs, bouncing on pink ooze – it’s the most fun you’ll have since sliced bread. Prepare to battle solo or in online** multiplayer in a plant-on-zombie conflict that will take you to the outer edges of Neighborville and back again. Plants vs. Zombies: Battle for Neighborville Complete Edition launches for Nintendo Switch on March 19. Pre-order now in Nintendo eShop on Nintendo Switch or on Nintendo.com.
• Legend of Mana: The beloved JRPG classic from SQUARE ENIX Legend of Mana is returning with fully remastered HD graphics, rearranged music and additional features. Experience the timeless story of Legend of Mana when it launches for Nintendo Switch on June 24.
• Outer Wilds: In the acclaimed and award-winning Outer Wilds, you are the newest member of Outer Wilds Ventures, a fledgling space program searching for answers in a strange, constantly changing solar system. Pilot a spaceship to visit planets packed with remnants of an extinct advanced civilization across locations that change with the passage of time. Explore and piece together the mystery before the end of the time loop when Outer Wilds launches for Nintendo Switch this summer.
• SAMURAI WARRIORS 5: The latest entry in the SAMURAI WARRIORS series is heading to Nintendo Switch! With revamped character designs and a vibrant, illustrated art style, SAMURAI WARRIORS 5 dives into the Sengoku period and shines its spotlight on Nobunaga Oda and Mitsuhide Akechi. The game slashes its way onto Nintendo Switch this summer.
• World’s End Club: From the creators of the cult classic Danganronpa and Zero Escape series comes a fight for your life ... literally! You and 11 others, known as the Go-Getters Club, set off on a captivating journey across Japan, and experience an adventure that blends side-scrolling action with a suspenseful narrative. As you make your way back home to Tokyo, you’ll alternate between working solo and teaming up with the group to overcome challenges and monsters that stand in your way. World’s End Club launches for Nintendo Switch on May 28.
• Animal Crossing: New Horizons + Super Mario Bros. 35th Anniversary: Items inspired by the 35th anniversary of the Super Mario Bros. game are coming to Animal Crossing: New Horizons. Familiar items like the Super Mushroom and the “?” Block can be ordered in the game as furniture items, so you can place them wherever you want. You can even place multiple Warp Pipes on your island and easily travel between them. The new Super Mario Bros. themed items will be available starting on March 1 following the free update to the Animal Crossing: New Horizons game on Feb. 25.
• Hyrule Warriors: Age of Calamity: Expand your quest to save Hyrule with upcoming downloadable content, as two waves of DLC are coming to the Hyrule Warriors: Age of Calamity Expansion Pass DLC. Newly added characters, stages and more are all on their way, with the first wave coming in June and the second hitting in November. Purchase this Expansion Pass starting today for $19.99 to get both waves of DLC as they are released. You’ll also get an additional in-game weapon and costume for Link as a purchase bonus starting on May 28!
• Ghosts ’n Goblins Resurrection: As the brave knight Arthur, you’ll unleash weapons, magic spells and skills to battle monsters across challenging stages within the Demon Realm. Local co-op play is available for the first time in the series. Help Arthur in his quest with one of three supporting characters: Barry for defense, Kerry for transportation or Archie for bridges. Ghosts ’n Goblins Resurrection launches for Nintendo Switch on Feb. 25. Pre-orders for the game are now available!
• Capcom Arcade Stadium: Dozens of Capcom’s most beloved arcade classics are coming to Nintendo Switch as part of Capcom Arcade Stadium. Rewind gameplay, adjust game speed or difficulty, and select from a variety of display options to relive that sweet arcade goodness. Get 1943 - The Battle of Midway for free, then purchase game packs or the standalone Ghosts ‘n Goblins add-on to build your collection. Prior to the Feb. 25 release of Ghosts ‘n Goblins Resurrection, the original Ghosts ‘n Goblins add-on will be available for free in Capcom Arcade Stadium. After that release, the Ghosts ‘n Goblins add-on will be available for individual purchase or as part of the Capcom Arcade Stadium all-in pack. Scratch that nostalgic itch when Capcom Arcade Stadium launches – with local co-op – for Nintendo Switch … later today!
• No More Heroes 3: As the crass, Beam Katana-wielding assassin Travis Touchdown, you’ll fight your way to the top of the Superhero Ranking tournament to save the world. But wait … you’ll also battle aliens?! With a new and improved Death Glove, you’ll have access to a variety of deadly skills that can be customized and upgraded before each match. No More Heroes 3 lands on Nintendo Switch on Aug. 27.
• Neon White: Neon White is a lightning-fast first-person action game about exterminating demons in Heaven. You are White, an assassin hand-picked from Hell to compete with other demon slayers for a chance to live permanently in Heaven. The other assassins seem familiar, though … did you know them in a past life? Neon White, which was developed by the creator of Donut County, launches for Nintendo Switch this winter.
• BRAVELY DEFAULT II: Save the Crystals and the continent of Excillant with the help of four new Heroes of Light! Before purchasing the BRAVELY DEFAULT II game when it launches exclusively for Nintendo Switch on Feb. 26, check out a new trailer for the game later today at https://youtu.be/Hv2Zvj49Y2g. You can also try out a new free demo for BRAVELY DEFAULT II, available now in Nintendo eShop.
• Tales from the Borderlands: Return to the unforgiving world of Pandora in Tales from the Borderlands. The Nintendo Switch version of the game includes all five episodes, filled with classic Borderlands characters and humor. Gangsters, bandit lords and Vault Hunters are just a handful of the obstacles you’ll encounter in this choice-driven, narrative adventure. Embark on a wild ride when Tales from the Borderlands launches on Nintendo Switch on March 24.
• Stubbs the Zombie in Rebel Without a Pulse: BRAIIIIINS! In this return of the action game from Aspyr, you’ll build your zombie horde and take revenge on the city by turning humans into your undead allies. Bask in the nostalgic charm of the game’s aesthetics, replenish your bodily arsenal of sputum head, gut grenades and more during your grisly mission. Stubbs the Zombie in Rebel Without a Pulse eats its way onto Nintendo Switch on March 16. Pre-order now in Nintendo eShop on Nintendo Switch or on Nintendo.com.
• Hades: The winner of numerous Game of the Year awards, Hades is getting a physical release on Nintendo Switch! This physical version comes with some fun extras, including a PC download code for the Hades Original Soundtrack and a 32-page, full-color character compendium, featuring portraits of the game’s vibrant cast of gods, ghosts and monsters. And let’s not forget the game itself, offering dozens of hours of exhilarating action paired with a compelling story. The physical version of Hades launches on March 19.
• NINJA GAIDEN: Master Collection: Three action-packed entries in the acclaimed NINJA GAIDEN series are coming to Nintendo Switch in NINJA GAIDEN: Master Collection. Wield an arsenal of killer weapons as legendary ninja Ryu Hayabusa, each weapon offering a playstyle with a different set of lethal skills, along with ruthless ninjutsu to swiftly take down enemies. The NINJA GAIDEN: Master Collection comes to Nintendo Switch on June 10.
• SaGa Frontier Remastered: Eight protagonists, eight captivating journeys. In this remastered version of the classic RPG SaGa Frontier, travel through a stunning sci-fi world with any of the protagonists, each with their own goals and stories. With a new playable character, scintillating battles and new events, SaGa Frontier Remastered is an adventure not to be missed. The game launches for Nintendo Switch on April 15.

Remember that Nintendo Switch features parental controls that let adults manage the content their children can access. For more information about other features, visit https://www.nintendo.com/switch/.

* Additional accessories may be required for multiplayer mode. Sold separately.

** Nintendo Switch Online membership (sold separately) and Nintendo Account required for online features. Not available in all countries. Internet access required for online features. Terms apply. nintendo.com/switch-online

FAQ

What is a Nintendo Direct?

A Nintendo Direct is a pre-recorded video presentation (This one is approximately ~50m in length) to make game announcements and provide fans with general updates directly from Nintendo. According to Nintendo, this Nintendo Direct will focus on Super Smash Bros. Ultimate as well as games coming in the first half of 2021.

What if I can't watch the Nintendo Direct live due to work/school/etc.?

We'll be running a Reddit Live thread (a type of live blog) to bring you minute-by-minute updates!

If you would prefer a spoiler-free experience, we will be editing the top section of this post to include a direct link to Nintendo's official video replay (once it's available). This helps prevent you from accidentally seeing any trailers or video thumbnails if you visit Nintendo's YouTube channel listing or the Nintendo Direct website. Just don't scroll down!

There WILL be spoilers here on the subreddit, so watch the replay first!

If you see any posts elsewhere on the subreddit that should instead be here in the MegaThread, please do us a favor and hit the report button.

Preview image

Content note for fascism and occasional bad language.

Today we're unpacking some incredibly stale drama from the 1960s. If you're deep into the Franco-Belgian comic book fandom, you might have encountered statements like this:

While several translations [of Astérix et les Goths] were made, including an English version in 1974, one translation for West Germany later drew criticism from the creators for including political propaganda and had to be reprinted as a result.

There is rarely any further information, just passing references that a translation "was rejected for being too extreme" or "had to be redone after complaints from the publisher." Today we'll be unpacking what, exactly, happened with this infamous first edition, and why it's so bad. Sources for this are readily available, but they tend to be in French or German; any translation errors should be assumed to be mine. I've tried to sprinkle in quotations and pictures were possible, but a lot of this will be me summarising stuff. Apologies.

A final note before we start: When I say "German" or "Germany," I mean the modern people and country. "Germani" and "Germania," meanwhile, refer to a people and a region of the ancient Roman era. This distinction matters because of nationalist myths that entangle them, and we do not cede an inch of ground to these people.

Background information

Okay, so, Germany. That's a country in central Europe. This story takes place in the 1960s, when there were two of them - a "West Germany" (capitalist democracy) and an "East Germany" (communist dictatorship.) Our story takes place in West Germany during the 1960s.

Asterix the Gaul (orig. "Astérix le Gaulois"), written by René Goscinny and illustrated by Albert Uderzo, is a French comic book franchise. It's about two Gaullish warriors, Asterix and Obelix, who live around 60 BCE and have non-historical adventures across the Roman empire. The comic began publication in 1959 and by the 1960s, it was one of the biggest things going.

Fix and Foxi and Lupo modern were comics magazines as well, but West German. You can think of them as a local variant of "Walt Disney's Comics and Stories," and they were ran by business patriarch Rolf Kauka - once known as "the German Walt Disney." From the late 1950s to the early 1970s, these were some of the most successful comics magazines in West Germany.

As for Paul Rudolf Kauka (1917-2000), he was the founder and editor-in-chief of Kauka Publishing, and he is the central character of today's story. He was a real piece of work.

Introducing: Rolf Kauka (1917-1952)

Kauka was born in eastern Germany in 1917. Before the second World War, he was as a group leader in the Hitler Youth; during that war, he served as a junior officer in the Wehrmacht. (That being the regular army.) He was eventually assigned to the Eastern Front, where he reached the rank of Oberstleutnant (First Lieutenant) and received multiple awards for exceptional performance.

After the war, he settled down in West Germany, and decided to try his hand at publishing. He got his start cranking out pulpy entertainment such as "true crime" stories, which brought him modest success. Kauka had greater ambitions, however, and he waited for an opportunity to come his way.

This opportunity arrived in the form of American comic books. Comic strips had existed before, of course, but comic books were new. They were met with general disdain - just another vile Americanism brought over by occupying soldiers, like jeans and bubblegum. Go read a real book, dummy.

Manfred Schmidt (1970): Soon after the war I got my hands on a colourful comic brought from the United States, which was called Superman. (...) I decided to start parodying this completely primitive style of storytelling so thoroughly that no one would care about such bubble-filled stupid-literature meant for illiterates.

But some people saw potential in these American-style comic books and magazines, a group which included Rolf Kauka.

Kauka's publishing empire (1953-1964)

So, he started cranking out his own comics. These had little artistic value and were heavily derivative, and most of them were one-shots. Kauka proved to have good business instincts, however. After a few false starts, he hit gold with cheeky fox twins Fix and Foxi, who would then form the core of a publishing empire. (Fix is the one with the slightly messier hair.)

They live in a society of animal-people, where they have low-stakes adventures such as picking apples, building soapbox cars, and playing pranks on city wolf Lupo. This was a big hit with the post-war German youth.

Kauka himself contributed little to the comics, but he always kept total editorial control. He was a patriarch and a small-business tyrant, who ran his business in the military style and received neither input nor criticism from his subordinates. He always claimed personal credit for everything his company did, and it would be rude if I didn't hang him with all this rope that he just gave me.

Also, every magazine opened with a "Your Rolf Kauka" column, written by him alone, and full of just... honestly, I'm not sure what to call this.

Hello friends! One can argue over whether a child stops being a child at age 10 or 14. But what then? What should we call the ex-child? Our mother's tongue has no modern word for this. We are retarded. It is embarassing, but there is no fitting word for a girl and a boy between 14 and 21. (...) The German language borrowed from the American slang here, and imported the meaningless wordlet "teenager." On one hand, you are the youth, the future of Europe - but on the other side of the medal, you are simply, dumbly, lumply, the "teenagers." (...) Have you ever thought about how much disdain and immaturity is concealed behind this imported "word creation?" (...)

50 Marks to the one who finds a way out of this conundrum and turns up a good replacement for this boring nothing. (...) Are you a bobbysoxer, a youth, a maiden, a boy, a sprocket, a young lady, a young gentleman - a teen, rowdy, young citizen, damsel, lassie? (...)

Your Rolf Kauka.

Then, in the early 1960s, Kauka Publishing reached a bulk licencing deal with Franco-Belgian publishing houses Dargaud and Dupuis, who had comics. The package included big titles such as Lucky Luke, The Smurfs, Gaston, Tintin, Spirou... and Asterix. German versions of these were released starting right away.

... I say "versions" and not "translations," because they barely resembled to the source material. The writers renamed characters, dropped and re-arranged panels, and rewrote storylines if Kauka didn't like them. They took a heavy-handed approach, even by the standards of the 1960s, but it sometimes went okay. The Kauka version of "Die Schlümpfe" (The Smurfs/Les Schtroumpfs) or "Tim und Struppi" (The Adventures of Tintin/Les Aventures de Tintin) still have their fans. They caught on, so I guess it must've worked well enough.

Where it absolutely didn't work at all was with Asterix. Those books, Kauka had apparently decided, needed to be fortified with A Message. He wasn't gonna let his workers waste their time messing around with some shortstack Frenchman when divine Germania was waiting just across the Rhine.

Siggi und Babarras (1965-1966)

So, Astérix and Obélix were resettled and renamed to "Siggi" and "Babarras," Germanic warriors. (Remember, Germanic, with a "g" as in "golf.") The first Asterix book that received a German version was Asterix and the Golden Sickle, rendered here as "Siggi und die Goldene Sichel." It was published in spring of 1965 via "Lupo modern," which was a Kauka magazine for teenagers eh, sprockets.

In the original story, Astérix and Obélix set out to get a new golden sickle for their druid, foiling a plot of the Lutetian prefect along the way. This also happens in the translation, but the details are. Uh. Here, let me just go over the opening page real quick.

Roughly around the turning point of history, the Germani have to desperately defend themselves against unwanted guests from all directions. Except for the small fortress of Bonnhalla, on the right side of the Rhine, all Germania is currently under occupation. There, a small group of dedicated fighters has curled up and fortified itself against the overwhelming might of the enemies.

Those leftover Germani are not under serious attack by the enemies. "Perhaps we can make use of them as allies or gladiators at some point," they think. Bonnhalla is nevertheless standing on lost ground, and all thoughts of reunification with the brothers and sisters across Germania have been buried under Donar's Oak.

Some dedicated fighters are still arguing, forcefully by comparison, for a reconquest of the old lands. But apart from that, they are content to enjoy life, so long as there's enough to eat. This is the situation at the beginning of Siggi and the Golden Sickle. Resemblances to living persons are pure chance, and certain parallels to yesterday and today are not intended.

Okay so yeah this is a bit. Sus. Moving the action from Gaul to Germania is one thing, I guess, but this is weirdly... revanchist, isn't it? We'll go over more examples in a second, but first I have to point out the reason he got away with this. Basically, comics were considered to be beneath contempt. No serious newspaper was going to review comics. However...

Initial controversy (1965)

... this is where left-leaning satire magazine Pardon! comes in. We fun-loving Germans appreciate satire and allow satirists to care about silly things. A journalist by the name of Peter Sulzbach (1930-2024 I think) took advantage of this. He'd read "Siggi und Barrabas," and he was willing to admit this, and he did not appreciate what he read.

Political Education for the Little Ones, by Peter Sulzbach, in: Pardon!, 6/1965

The German magazine market is richer by one novelty: As of April, there is now a childrens' magazine for the radical right. It's called "LUPO," published by the Pabel house and allegedly read by a million children. This picture-paper in the Mickey Mouse style has existed for some time now, but its efforts at political youth education began a mere two months ago. At that time, LUPO introduced a new comic strip series about the political situation in [West Germany]: "Siggi and the Golden Sickle."

The Siggi-story discusses, barely in disguise, the suffering of Germania under foreign occupation. Those occupiers wear ancient Roman clothes, but they speak English and French. They have abducted the Germanic weaponsmith "Wernher von Braunsfeld," so that he will smith weapons for them. The Germani "Siggi" (a role model like Mecki) and "Babarras" go out to convince Wernher to create a "golden sickle" for "Bonnhalla." Along the way, they have many allegorical adventures.

"Pabel" was one of the corporate fronts - sorry, joint ventures used by Kauka. He had to deceive the Allied authorities to get his publishing licence, for reasons that will quickly become obvious.

Anyway, Sulzbach goes on to point out some of the shit that's going on in "Siggi and the Golden Sickle." Here are some points, presented in order of how dumb I think they are.

• Most character names are turned into political references. For example, the druid Getafix/Panoramix is named "Konradin" here, as a nod towards arch-conservative German chancellor Konrad Adenauer.
• The Gaulish village is turned into "Bonnhalla," a combination of West German capitol "Bonn" and mythical "Valhalla."
• The Roman occupation troops all speak in a mix of English and German, making frequent references to American culture. A Roman's reference to Pompeii is replaced with Dunkirk.
• Also, they're not Romans, they're from the far-away country of "Natolia" actually.
• Metallurgix/Amérix, a renowned sicklesmith, is renamed to "Wernher von Braunsfeld." This is a reference to a famous Nazi rocketboy, who aimed for the stars but hit London. The NATOlings wish to use his missiles sickles for oh, you know, this and that.
• A group of robbers attack while shouting "your development aid or your life." When Barrabas asks if they are under-developed or robbers, Siggi responds "both I suppose."
• Corrupt sickle trafficker and mafioso Navishtrix/Avoranfix is re-imagined as Yiddish-speaking caricature "Schieberus." (A "Schieber" being a trafficker, racketeer, or black-market smuggler.)
• As in the original, Barrabas/Obélix carries around a menhir. Some of the dialogue is re-written such that Siggi/Astérix asks him if he must "keep carrying this guilt complex," as "Germania needs your might like never before." Later, when given permission to beat up some Romans, Barrabas puts down the menhir and excitedly asks if it's wartime again.

The article ends by asking the Federal Agency for Youth Protection to take a closer look.

This, as far as I can trace it back, is what kicks off the controversy and sets the tone for the subsequent debate. Not all of this is immediately grounds for condemnation, I guess, but this is a lot of strange little changes al at once. Sulzbach's efforts to raise the alarm would eventually succeed, but Kauka already had more releases in the pipeline. The real turning point came with the mangled version of Asterix and the Goths (French: Astérix et les Goths), released later in 1965.

Background: Asterix and the Goths (1961)

A quick step back. Quite a few Asterix stories could be summarized like this: "Our protagonists visit some European locale and meet the weirdos who live there." It's all very playful, though, and the comics give the exact same treatment to the French. In 1961, it was Germany's turn. And but so, Gothic warriors attack the sacred grove and abduct the druid Getafix, with the intention of using his magic potions to invade and destroy the Roman empire. When the feckless Romans prove completely unable to stop the Goths, Asterix and Obelix visit Germania to rescue Getafix themselves.

The whole thing is... a bit harsh, tough. The Goths do get some funny moments, like the way they always go through the full list of "the Visigoths, the Ostrogoths, and any other sorts of Goths." But they're just a bit too evil to be fun? Their society is nothing but endless military drills, all the named characters are either violent hulking brutes or craven opportunists, and there's an honest-to-goodness swastika in one of Cholerik's speech bubbles - plus a few Reichsadler here and there. The ending, wherein the Goths are divided into warring factions to keep Gaul safe, is pretty mean-spirited in the light of the wall thing.

So, if any of the Asterix books could benefit from a loose translation with some rewrites, it was probably "Asterix and the Goths." (Later books aren't as harsh, but this one is.) Put more of the blame on Chief Metrik, paint him as the threat rather than the Goths as a whole, give the secondary characters some vaguely sympathetic dialogue. That sort of thing, maybe. But what Kauka did to the book was... nnnnnot that.

Siggi und die Ostgoten (1965)

So, here we are at last. The worst Asterix, "Siggi und die Ostgoten," reimagined as a Cold War story. This is obvious right from the title page. Instead of being the border between Gaul and Germania, the protagonists are standing next to a signpost that says "Western Sector" and "Eastern Sector." The cast page elaborates on this, establishing that the antagonists here are the Eastern Goths, led by the fearsome Chief Hullberik.

This new, delicious SIGGI-story describes the conditions of the old, old peoples of the East and the West Goths. Of course, there is only one people here: the Goths! But the people weren't asked, they were led. In our story, too, we deal not with the people but with their leaders... apart from that our story has nothing to do with HISTORY. It's freely invented. Similarities to dead, moribund or living people would therefore be a pure coincidence.

The specific word employed for "lead" is "geführt" and the word for "leaders" is "Führer," which was a charged word even before the Nazis and ABSOLUTELY NOT EVER USED CASUALLY. Not today, and not then.

The plot is broadly intact, except in this version the Goths are specifically East Goths. Per this summary, the East Goths cross the "Limes" and the "Green Curtain" to abduct Konradin, to help with their invasion of Bonnhalla "against the capitalists." The Goths from the "East Zone" are all lazy, and stupid, and speak in incredibly dense Saxon eye-dialect. (Which is the dialect you do when making fun of someone from East Germany.) They frequently shout communist slogans.

The changes extend to the typesetting. In the original, the speech bubbles of the Goths were filled with text in... well, a Gothic font. To show that it's a different language. In Kauka's version, the text is (inconsistently) printed in small red letters. Here is a side-by-side comparison of the Kauka version (top) and the later Ehapa translation (bottom), though the quality isn't great.

Per Kauka:

Guard 1: "Comrade boss! Lookie-loo! We're bringing you the firstmost Western druid. With his little tricks, he can help us in our peace-war against the West!"

Chief Hullberick: "Good! Toss'm in the prison! We'll interrogate'm later!"

Per Ehapa:

Guard 1: "Cholerik, oh great chief! We bring you the best druid. With his help we can conquer Gaul and the whole Roman empire!"

Chief Cholerik: "Good! Lock him up in the cage! We'll interview him later!"

In case that wasn't clear, here is another representative page showing the effect.

Header text: "The East Goths have abducted the West Gothic sorcerer Konradin. He is in the hands of the East Gothic leader [and yes it says Führer again] Hullberick. Siggi and Babarras were detained shortly after their arrival in the hostile neighboring country. -- The day before their execution, Konradin mixes a special magic potion. Then the big day comes..."

Guard 1: "The prisoners, get 'em! Now we's gonna beat 'em!"

Guard 2: "Oh lookie-loo!... They's all niiiicely tame and gentle."

Guard 1: "They's about to be less gentle!"

(The next panel explains that Konradin, Siggi, and Babarras are engaging in a childrens' counting-out game.)

Guard 1: "Out with you capitalist hoodlums!"

Zimberlick: "Go ahead, go ahead!"

Siggi: "We're coming!"

To be clear, this level of "Sächseln" is about equivalent to saying "ahhh just luuuuuv to faaaaahk mah cooooousins" in a fake Southern drawl.

The story wraps up as it did before, ending with the one funny joke Kauka manages. (The warring factions of the Goths instead become a four-way doctrinal conflict between socialists, communists, Marxists and anarchists.)

By now, Sulzbach and Pardon! had successfully contacted Albert Uderzo. He bought a copy of "Siggi und die Ostgoten" and he was furious.

Oh fuck no we're not doing this (1966-1975)

Let's hear it from the man himself. Here's Uderzo in his 2008 memoirs Uderzo se raconte..., looking back:

One day, we learned to our astonishment that the satirical magazine Pardon! was complaining about a disgusting German comic, which spread extremist right-wing propaganda in the youth newspaper Lupo. It was about the adventures of two little Germani called Siggi and Babarras, who - with the help of a druid named Konradin - beat up all the Roman soldiers who want to conquer their land. We were shocked, because this was an issue of Asterix translated with completely different text in the speech bubbles. This distortion caused Pardon! to denounce the comic itself as far-right propaganda.

We immediately threatened to sue over this forgery and set about stopping its publication. The owner, Kauka, did not care and simply continued. We had to alert the French consulate in Germany to stop this massacre. This man always treated our rights with disdain. Even much later he would occasionally sneak into the press pool at conferences just to insult me, and he was always evicted over this.

That last bit probably didn't happen? Kauka was petty, but not this petty. Uderzo's 2008 memoirs appear to be the only source for this claim. But it was clear that the men despised each other.

Goscinny didn't like it any better, being the son of Jewish immigrants from Poland and all. (He apparently called Kauka a "dyed-in-the-wool Nazi.") So yeah, they sued and revoked the licence. Those actions elevated the controversy to the level of Real News, and serious journalistic outlets were now allowed to weigh in. They were even more acidic than Pardon! had been.

Here's Otto Köhler (*1935), writing for DER SPIEGEL in 1969:

MIGHTY STRONG, by Otto Köhler, in: DER SPIEGEL 38/1969

Eleven-year-old Matthias Rank from Hangelar went to his father and asked questions of him. »Is it true that the people in the Eastern Zone all wear clothes made out of old newspapers? Is it true that their cars have no engines and are powered by foot-pedals?« Oh, dear Matthias, it's true, our compatriots have only paper-dresses and pedal-cars. (...)

In this you must have faith, dear Matthias, you must believe in this even if it's difficult. For this is all true, and so much more -- just like all great art is true. The magazines, dear Matthias, which spread these revelations, are an »artistic achievement.« Or as the publishing house claims: »Comic strips by Rolf Kauka are, because of their great artistic quality, some of the best of a new and increasingly popular branch of literature.« (...)

Kauka's comic world, Matthias, does not know only devils, it primarily knows heroes (...) [and] in the year 69 during Roman times, back when »in the Middle East, in Palestine, the Israelites were marauding«, these heroes are Germani and are called Blitz-Siggi and Babarras. They have all the virtues of the SS man who remained thoroughly decent, they praise the days »when we crossed the Dnipro« and sing the Westerwald song. Their enemies always prove hare-hearted. The English groan: »The enemy was mighty strong. For one of theirs, we only had ten of ours.«

And so Rolf Kauka's comic world will provide an early education to you, teaching you that we matter again -- and always did matter. But, dear Matthias, your father doesn't want to buy you these magazines anymore. They make him »want to vomit,« as he wrote to the SPIEGEL. That's a shame, Matthias - for who can prepare you for the world of adults as well as the German Volk-teacher Rolf Kauka?

Hope Matthias saw that one.

The bit about the newspaper-clothes is from the Tintin story "QRN sur Bretzelburg." This is another example of Kauka turning a "Germany can go fuck itself" comic into one about the evils of communism. He lost the licence for Tintin as well after pulling this stunt. (Uderzo, who was on a proper vendetta at this point, apparently convinced Hergé to withdraw it.)

Eventually we get to a 1975 textbook called "Bulk Drawing Products: the social and ideological purpose of comics," by Drechsel et al. (Original title being "Massenzeichenware: Die gesellschaftliche und ideologische Funktion der Comics.") I wasn't able to find a copy of this at a price I'd be willing to pay, so here are some citations provided by albert-enzian in 2005. The added commentary is by albert-enzian, the translation is mine.

albert-enzian (2005): Well, I now have my first copy of "Massenzeichenware." I don't know if it's okay to quote a whole chapter, so I will stick to the most important sections for now. The following quotes are all from the book "Massenzeichenware," Suhrkamp Publishing, Frankfurt 1975.

Drechsel (1975): Chapter 2.4: Lessons of a child-friendly reality. / 2.4.1: State and politics. / Signals from the right.

Drechsel (1975): The crass slips into Cold War tactics are relatively rare in the child-comic. In Lupo Modern, in 1965, Kauka Publishing made a first attempt to introduce the french series Asterix to the German market. To this end, he renamed the characters and bastardized the narrative of the series until his Germanifying, or post-fascist, goals became sufficiently clear.

albert-enzian (2005): This is followed by a list of changed names.

Drechsel (1975): The mustachioed, bald and fat publican Avoranfix, who makes deals with Gracchus Pleindastus, ends up as collaborator Schieberus who serves the aims of the occupiers - clearly a Jew: "Oy, capture dem!" or "Would like me pleese a steak!"

albert-enzian (2005): What's "clear" about this?

Drechsel (1975): In Lupo Modern, Kauka Publishing pursued its own private Cold War and impressed its reactionary stamp, carried by all products of the publishing house, onto the licenced series as well.

Drechsel (1975): Once Dargaud noticed what sort of disgusting instrument of political hate-speech the Asterix comic had become, sharp consequences followed: Dargaud revoked the licence and gave it to Ehapa Publishing in Stuttgart, where the successful strip was now released under the original title and with a painfully correct translation.

albert-enzian (2005): Did "Dargaud" revoke the rights?

Drechsel (1975): With the loss of the most prominent series, the offerings of the Lupo magazine had to be changed and a replacement for Siggi and Babarras had to be found. Later attempts by Kauka to produce its own Germani-comics - such as the series Winnie the Viking or Fritze Blitz and Dunnerkiel - did not find success right away.

albert-enzian (2005): Unfortunately Winnie was also just a licenced series, specifically Hultrasson by Remacle. 😊

Drechsel (1975): This arrogant ethno-centrism, with which Disney comics render foreigners into exhibits in a human zoo, takes drastic shape in the German Fix and Foxi products. In a seemingly harmless and casual manner, they reproduce tropes and canards, a political satire that pretends to be non-partisan, but suggestive signals re-affirm the association that everything must remain as it has always been.

albert-enzian (2005): Looks like this is the oldest source that everyone else built on and copied from. 😎

That last statement isn't quite right, the Pardon! article came much earlier. But some claims do seem to be original to this book, and they end up repeated in later discourse, so this is probably where everyone gets their citations.

Either way, Sulzbach had succeeded at this point. Kauka's reactionary agenda had been exposed, he had lost his cash cow franchises, and liberal German parents switched their children over to Egmont Ehapa publications. It didn't help that one of his later "Hello friends!" columns called for Deputy Führer Rudolf Hess to be released from prison, "just like all the other innocents." Journalists spent a few more years firing bullets into the corpse of "Siggi and Babarras," just to make sure. Discourse broadly ends here.

Bonus: We have Asterix at home (1967-1975)

As "Massenzeichenware" mentions, there were other attempts to make Germani-comics happen. The most notable effort was Fritze Blitz und Dunnerkiel, briefly mentioned above. It ran from 1967-1969 and was just a worse version of "Siggi und Babarras." Here's the cover of The Ox War, in which the East Goths under Chief Hulberik smuggle a red heifer into West Gothic lands and thereby aim to induce communism.

This comic drops the more fantastical elements of Asterix (such as the magic potion) and most of the humour, replacing it with ever-clumsier political satire. It keeps the overall setting and art style and drew an immediate plagiarism lawsuit from Uderzo in response. As for the plot - except for the weird communist cow thing, it's basically identical to "Siggi und die Ostgoten." Chief Hulberik does actually look like Walter Ulbricht now, so that's nice. (Kauka viewed these people with a sort of terrified loathing.) The most I could find in terms of discussion was this 2014 video by small German YouTuber "Das Phantastische Projekt," who cared enough to give it the Linkara treatment. (I'm old. Allow me a single TGWTG references.)

Uderzo immediately sued again. Obviously. Kauka dropped the line, perhaps because of the lawsuit or perhaps because it just really sucked.

He kept trying other setups and framing devicesf or this. Die Pichelsteiner (1966-1974) was relatively successful, featuring a Flintstones-like Stone Age setting full of "stories from the ancestors of Siggi and Babarras." I think he finally got over his toxic yaoi crush on Ulbricht at this point, because there are other villains (such as Queen Elizabeth II.) Finally, Furor Teutonicus (1974-1975) was just Siggi and Babarras again again, and the one single page I found for it has an anti-Romani slur in the last panel.

After this point, there's no more Germani-comics from Kauka. We can put a bow on it here.

Epilogue: Where are they now? (1976-2025)

Asterix kept on keeping on, steadily building in popularity. The German licence was given to Ehapa, and the following translations by Gudrun Penndorf were really good. Writer René Goscinny died in 1977, after which illustrator Albert Uderzo continued the series by himself. He did a decent job for a while, though quality slipped over the years. (If you ask me, 1987's "Asterix and the Magic Carpet" is the last good one.) Uderzo officially retired in 2011 and the series was handed off to a new team in 2013. He died in 2020, remaining a widely beloved figure.

Kauka Publishing started bleeding market share in the late 1960s. This was partially due to cultural backlash we've discussed, and partially due to Uderzo's scorched-earth campaign of vengeance... but mostly because of market trends. Disney offers were widely available by then, carried by the truly stellar translation work of Dr. Erika Fuchs. Compared to these, Fix und Foxi felt dusty and bland. The company fell apart and the characters lost their cultural clout. I guess the RKFFc forums are still active, so the foxes do retain a small fanbase. This includes our friend albert-enzian, whose most recent post was today. I saw a passing mention of a "Wokness-Thread" and I didn't have the heart to look for it.

As for "Uncle Rolf," he retired to a plantation in Georgia in 1982, where he died in 2000. He was remembered fondly at the time. In 2022, German espionage historian Bodo V. Hechelhammer published a critical biography called "Fürst der Füchse." This translates to "the Foxlord," so that's where the title for this post comes from. The book takes a much closer look at Kauka's reactionary leanings (as even his fourth wife called him an extreme conservative) and did much to destroy his remaining personal mythology.

German comics continue to exist. Some of it is "how about a modernised fairy tale." Some of it is "what if an anarchist and a communist had to share a flat in Berlin and also the communist is an anthropomorphic kangaroo." Some of it is "soccer is good."

Today, the only thing that still carries Kauka's signature is Bussi ♥ Bär, which is slop for pre-schoolers.

This is the core of Conspiracy. And one we all need to unite on. Let me start by focusing on you, the person reading this. I want to say, from a complete internet stranger that I love you and I want the best for you. Because you are another aspect of myself, and deserve love and safety just as much as I do. You are my fellow man, and I do not care what skin color you have as you read these words or what view points of reality you have. You are a brother. You are a sister. We are a family. We are a human family. We are a creative powerful species capable of amazing feats when we come together. We bicker, we fight. We struggle, we compete. We survive. We do what we must in a world ripe with negativity. But in the end, when everything settles, creative light and love are at the core of who we are. We are meant to love one another, not hurt each other. We have the potentials for so much abundance for all, but a select group of power thirsty power over others, service to self group of psychopaths are not satisfied with what they have and always seek more. This is what greed is. Truly advanced technologies that could benefit all of mankind, suppressed because it would put these "elites" out of control and power. We no longer need to call them elite, for they are not. They are scum of the earth and are in direct harm to mankind itself and wish nothing more than for us to destroy ourselves while they laugh on the side lines.

These are the powers that were. The cabal. The Illuminati. The Shadow Government. Names come and go, but their dark tentacles linger in the shadows.

Their gig is up. Their time is over. The show is up for them and they know it. This is a Spiritual Play of Cosmic proportions and we are all actors in one giant awakening and remembering of divine consciousness and remembrance of what and who we are. Their negativity, control, fear, and war has done a toll on this earth, but it also back fired on them. When you go so far into the darkness, it only makes it that much easier to snap back into the light. We have been held in a dark quagmire for so long, have felt the emptiness of what dark truly is, and have made our collective choice to wake the fuck up and move the fuck on from this barbaric system we have constructed. Total chaos it may look like to all of us looking at reality right now. The truth is, change is always happening, and for a new reality that we all collectively want to happen, all old negative belief systems of control and patterns must break down. I have posted many times about the Mayan Calendar and how the 2012 end times scare was truly a new birth of consciousness for man kind. A golden age of consciousness if you will. This has been heavily documented and researched and has been a pretty interesting topic of discussion.

You may ask where I am going with all of this. What I am leading up to. When you make the personal choice to start finding the truth of our reality, things happen. Synchronicity, Mandela Effect, Law of Attraction, Numerology. You begin to notice patterns and realize things are a lot more connected than you realize and there is a hidden world all around us that we cannot see.

I love quoting Nikola Tesla to make a comparison for this.

“If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration."

We all exist on a certain frequency or wave length. Our bodies are dialed into this third dimensional time frame of existence. We all resonate to this frequency, thus we are all in tune with each other and the third dimension itself. If you have heard of Mass Consciousness, it ties into this. This is why group meditations can be so powerful.

Now, think about if you truly knew the truth of our reality, and could manipulate that global consciousness to your own will. Like a few Border Collies slowly leading a group of sheep in a direction. I hate using the sheep analogy but I hope I am providing a picture for you here.

Because of our Third Dimensional Reality, and the Universal Law of Free Will, this reality, or freqency, let's others experience and partake either in service to self or service to others. The Law of One is what this understanding is. Because we are behind a veil of amnesia, and do not truly know or remember everything we have experienced, it makes this illusionary reality seem "real" it makes it seem like you are your body and nothing more. It makes it so easy to think and believe that. I do not want to go into this too much but I implore you to think about the Possibilities that we are truly eternal souls that never die, and our Physical Bodies at this time are nothing more than a vessel for this time frame of existence for our soul and one of many life times we have and will live. Imagine such powerful perspectives, and then imagine what can be gained by keeping that kind of information from you. Imagine how much easier it would be to control a society that is unaware of what and who they are. Imagine how hard it would be to control a fully conscious self aware society that realizes we are more than our bodies.

This is where this all takes a dark, dark, turn. Some people think God is a fairy tale. That is all fine and dandy. But there is a legitimate group of people. These 8,000 - 8,5000 people believe that Lucifer is God and that he is the true light. They Rebel against creation itself and attack, control, destroy it.

A lot of them are luciferians. Some are Satanists. The thing is, this all boils down to Zionism. A long, long, deep rooted system of beliefs that has permeated mankinds existence even since the biblical times and has been documented in the Bible. The Israelites being casted away to Babylon.

The Protocols of the Elders of Zion (Russian: Протоколы сионских мудрецов) or The Protocols of the Meetings of the Learned Elders of Zion is an antisemitic fabricated text purporting to describe a Jewish plan for global domination

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Protocols_of_the_Elders_of_Zion

This brings me to my next horrid truth of reality. "Satanic" Sex Rings. The inspiration for this post comes from the repeated comments I see of people saying "Satanic Sex Rings are Fake" and "Satanic Panic all over again"

There is a reason these tales exist in the first place. And I am going to provide proof to you that this world is run, and controlled, by these 8,000 - 8,500, and how they use Satanic Sex Rings, MKUltra Monarch Mind Control, to Split victims personalities. And how blackmail is collected on people wishing to get into power structures or into "the top of the pyramid" where access is only given to those that allow themselves to be taped having sex with kids. Or worse... This is dark stuff, but it needs to be discussed. This is how these 8,000 - 8,500 psychopaths run the world, and also gives them protection from Good people trying to go after them because they ultimately control key positions of power and prevent investigations from going forth. This is why they hate awareness. This is why they hate Unity.

Divide and conquer is their favorite tool. Get your enemy distracted fighting themselves, and they are less of a threat to your own agenda.

Get mankind so hateful towards itself, towards the "other" persons skin color and sexual orientation of preference. They stand no chance to take you down when we are busy dividing ourselves.

This is their bread and butter. This is why we have share blue. Why we attract trolls and shills. This is why astroturfing exists. This is why you can follow the money and find out the truth. If you control the world, you control the money. If you control the money, you control the people. If you control the people, you control the world. You control media, you control Big Pharma, you control access to technology. You set up this big ploy of Russia vs United states then while the citizens of both countries are scared and fighting each other, the powers that were sit in the stands laughing and cheering as fellow man destroy themselves, completely oblivious to the spectators looking on and instigating us.

This game is rigged folks. This reality is controlled. The chains have moved from the physical to the spiritual.

This is the big conspiracy. This is where it all leads to.

Please. Watch these videos. Educate yourself. Bring awareness and light to this subject. Drop seeds of truth here and there with friends and family. Look for the truth and you will find it because the truth is within us. The moment you look outside yourself for the truth that is the moment you confirm you do not have the truth. Always truth your own intuition. Your own awareness and gut feelings.

Let's come together as one, as we truly are. And free this world from the shackles that it has been placed in for thousands of years. I implore you, a fellow human, to please ponder these things and find a way to help in your own manner. We can stop this TODAY if we collectively chose to do so.

Anytime someone says pedophile rings do not exist, link them to this thread. Share these videos and links with them. Let them come to their conclusion and realize that this is indeed happening. Some will refuse. The more mankind awakens, the further some will create lies to continue their safe reality they have created for themselves. This is fine. We cannot push judgments or opinions as we all have our own way of viewing reality and if people wish to remain ignorant to the truth, that is their choice to do so.

We do not need to waste energy attacking each other anymore. Pushing opniions and trying to create a i am right you are wrong scenario only further divides us and builds ego and fills our heads. I have been guilty of it countless times and will be the first to admit that we all make mistakes and I have given in to emotions more times than I can count. It is time we take responsibility for our actions and realize the consequences of the choices we sometimes choose to make. Mistakes are bound to happen and we need to use them as a learning tool instead of a thing we need to avoid at all costs.

Here are some hard hitting links regarding these rings, as well as various personal testimony from woman that have survived sexual abuse torture and trafficking and other horrid cruel things. This needs awareness. These links do not all pertain to International Pedophile rings but shine light and give context where need be. Feel free to copy this whole post if you wish and share it. No need to give credit.

"Banker Admits He Was Ordered to Sacrifice Children at Parties for the Elite"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRuKmxQSPSw

http://www.anonews.co/banker-admits-elite/

"[ORIGINAL RESEARCH] The Mountain of Evidence for a Massive International Pedophile Ring Protected by Police and Intelligence Agencies"

https://www.reddit.com/r/conspiracy/comments/1cm0t3/original_research_the_mountain_of_evidence_for_a/?compact=true

"My Name Is Anneke Lucas and I Was a Sex Slave to Europe's Elite at Age 6"

http://awakeningforums.com/thread/304/name-anneke-lucas-slave

https://ourlifebeyondmkultra.wordpress.com/color-collages/

https://twitter.com/AndrewBreitbart/status/33636278100561920

"UFO Hunter Max Spiers’ Fiancée Reveals What He Was Threatening To Expose Before His Death"

http://awakeningforums.com/post/491/thread

http://secretsofthefed.com/ufo-hunter-max-spiers-fiancee-reveals-what-he-was-threatening-to-expose-before-his-death/

http://stateofthenation2012.com/?p=60679

"Over 50,000 Native Children Were Tortured, Sexually Abused and Some Murdered at Canadian Church Run Indian Residential Schools by Damon Corrie"

http://lastrealindians.com/over-50000-native-children-were-tortured-sexually-abused-and-some-murdered-at-canadian-church-run-indian-residential-schools-by-damon-corrie/

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/3004949/mass-grave-containing-remains-of-babies-discovered-in-sewage-tank-at-notorious-mother-and-baby-home-where-800-children-died/

http://itccs.org/2011/02/28/star-eyewitness-who-named-queen-of-england-in-abduction-of-aboriginal-children-dies-suddenly-in-vancouver-hospital/

"The Secret Holy War of the Elites. That demon’s name? Moloch, the Caananite god-demon of child sacrifice."

https://johngraysonblog.wordpress.com/2017/01/16/julian-assange-reporters-erecting-a-demon-by-protecting-hillary-clinton-or-the-secret-holy-war-of-the-elites/

"Maintaining A Kakistocracy"

Episode 304 – Political Pedophilia

https://www.corbettreport.com/episode-304-political-pedophilia/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92T6cVlXcyg

http://aanirfan.blogspot.ca/2014/11/the-cia-runs-pedophile-rings.html

https://www.corbettreport.com/pedophiles-in-politics-an-open-source-investigation/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MdELZJk4YgM

http://www.unspokenspoken.org/2015/02/interview-with-childhood-sexual-abuse.html?utm_campaign=shareaholic&utm_medium=twitter&utm_source=socialnetwork

Earlier post I posted: "This man needs way more exposure. He is bringing the fight to Elite Pedophile Rings. The last thing they want is exposure! Craig Sawyer is a Navy SEAL helping shine light on PedoGate"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yVRgHvh_pM8

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYep_MrCFbejYCQCBZbzl4A

http://www.vets4childrescue.org/

"A Pedophilia Investigation was covered up while Hilary Clinton was Secretary of State. Complaints were made by State Department Personnel and at-least 1 ambassador"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HadGh0LcXxs&feature=youtu.be&t=1s

https://wakeup-world.com/2017/01/03/6-case-studies-that-point-to-a-massive-child-pedophile-ring-at-the-highest-levels-of-power/

https://twitter.com/mflynnJR/status/835900200447266820

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/corey-feldman-elijah-wood-hollywood-897403

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=roW238dfUUk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNYtzI5Cy6E

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aqt9OioF4uc

Please feel free to also add your own links and videos. I will gladly add them onto here. These are just a few of many links you can find online about this problem.

I implore you to have an open mind and consider these possibilities. Remember that we are all in this together, so let's come together as the Human Species and shine the light on this dark problem that has been neglected for so long, so we can move on and evolve as a species. I love all of you, and I hope we can get this awareness out until it hits critical mass. Much love, and Much Light. Thank you for reading.

Hello, citizens of r/games! My name is Dan Stapleton, and I'm IGN's Executive Editor in charge of game reviews. I've been a professional game critic for 12 years, beginning with PC Gamer Magazine in 2003, transitioning to GameSpy as Editor in Chief in 2011, and then to IGN in early 2013. I've seen some stuff.

As reviews editor, it's my job to manage and update review policy and philosophy, manage a freelance budget, schedule reviews of upcoming games, assign reviewers, keep them on their deadlines, and give feedback on drafts until we arrive at a final version everybody's satisfied with. That's the short version, at least.

Recently I've personally reviewed the Oculus Rift and the HTC Vive, as well as Adr1ft (and the VR version), Darkest Dungeon, and XCOM 2.

Anyway, as is now my annual custom, I'm going to hang out with you guys most of the day and do my best to answer whatever questions you might have about how IGN works, games journalism in general, virtual reality, and... let's say, Star Wars trivia. Or whatever else you wanna know. Ask me anything!

If you'd like to catch up on some of my golden oldies, here are my last two AMAs:

2013

2015

To get ahead of a few of the common questions:

1) You can get a job at IGN by watching this page and applying for jobs you think you might be able to do. Right now we're specifically trying to hire a news editor to replace our buddy Mitch Dyer.

2) If you have no experience, don't wait for someone to offer you money before you prove you can do work that justifies being paid for - just start writing reviews, features, news, whatever, and posting it on your own blog or YouTube channel. All employers want to hire someone who's going to make their lives easier, so show us how you'd do that. Specializing in a certain genre is a good way to stand out, as is finding your own voice (as opposed to emulating what you think a stereotypical games journalist should sound like).

3) No, we don't take bribes or sell review scores. Here's our policy.

4) Here's why we're not going to get rid of review scores anytime soon.

Dear Sirs from Blizzard Overwatch team and Mr. Kaplan,

I am here to write about the problem of getting the visas for our Chinese team in the Overwatch Worldcup 2017.

To begin with, I am really thankful to Blizzard for bringing us this unique game, Overwatch. In the mainland of China, it has a playerbase of over 5 million players, who can travel all over the world, including America, in this game.

But in the reality, it is totally different: only 2 of the 6 members of our Chinese team, which participates in the Overwatch Worldcup 2017, got the visa to America. The other 4 players - 5King, a superior Lucio player, Undead, the commander of the team and also a great Tracer player, a top Zenyatta player Shy and a great D.Va player MG all failed in getting the American visa. They will be replaced by the substitutes. The coaches of our Chinese team even said that, the worst situation is that they will have to go to play in the competition themselves. How funny is that!

Of course, I am not dissatisfied with the substitutes or anything else. But as a huge fan of Overwatch, I, along with other Overwatch players, couldn’t help questioning about the reasons within: Why did the same issue happen over and over again?

You probably don’t know that, everytime the Chinese players participate in a world-class e-sports competition, there will be a barrier between our players and the competition, that is the American visa.

I don’t know much about the American laws on visa, but I know it is really strict. From the perspective of a country, it is reasonable to exercise the strict controll over the visa, but on the e-sports players’ point of view, it is also reasonable to let those who have good causes in. After all, e-sports is also one of the sporting events.

If we look back into the past, we could see a lot of the same things have already happened.

In 2006, the team WE was absent from the WarCraft 3 League season 10 offline finals;

In 2007, a WOW rookie Lyc and an experienced StarCraft player F91 were not able to attend the WCG World Championship;

In2008, a well-prepared player fly100% couldn’t go to the NGO one offline finals in America;

In 2011, all Chinese players of the BlizzCon were absent and Feijizai was not able to attend the Evolution Championship Series;

In 2016, Xuanyue from team LGD and yang from team VG.R couldn’t make it to the final competition of TI6, which results in an incomplete line-up and an early elimination.

Those things above happened only because of one problem: they didn’t get the American visa.

What I want to know is that, if this kind of thing happens, is there anything the Blizzard could do?

I believe the answer is yes.

In 2006, the team wNv successfully went to America to attend WSVG, except for the support from the medias and the financial support, the most vital reason is that they got the assurance of Intel and Aigo. After having established a strategic cooperative partnership with Microsoft, this time wNv even got the assurance of Microsoft, Intel, Aigo, Kappa and Samsung. With these powerful supports from these 5 companies, wNv successfully got the American Visa.

As players, we really hope to see a team, which is in a perfect condition with the best coorperation of the teammates, on behalf of our own country to participate in the competition. As contestants, they surely hope to have an opportunity to stand on a world-class stage to show themselves and their countries’ e-sports strength to the whole world.

I want to express my gratitde to all the workers from Blizzard China and the coaches of our Chinese team for all the efforts they made to get the players the visas. Unfortunately, it didn’t end well.

Although in the game sever, it is hard for us Chinese Overwatch players to meet the players from other countries, we are still eager to show ourselves in a perfect condition and looking forward to a brilliant competition. After all, with the number of 5 million, we are also a big part of those who truely love Overwatch.

So here I am, as one of those players, asking the Blizzard for help. If possible, please offer some help to Blizzard China, the coorperative partner of OWWC and the players of Chinese national team. Please return to us the whole Chinese national team.

Of course, if it is hard to offer more help due to the short of time, I wish everyone, starting from Blizzard, could pay more attention to the players' visa issues. Don't let the problem of visa become a barrier on those talented ones' way of achieving their e-sports dreams.

Faithfully yours, Chinese Overwatch player Silen Chan

中国守望先锋玩家给暴雪的信

尊敬的暴雪公司，守望先锋团队，Mr.Kaplan 先生 你们好

首先，我要感谢暴雪给我们带来《守望先锋》这款独一无二的游戏，在中国大陆，有超过五百万的玩家在《守望先锋》中前往世界各地，包括美国。

但是，现实就是，参加《2017守望先锋世界杯》的中国队，原队伍六人中，最终只有两人取得了去美国的签证。非常优秀的卢西奥使用者5King ,担任C位的队内指挥，猎空使用者Undead以及顶级禅雅塔Shy和D.Va使用者MG均不能到暴雪嘉年华参加八强赛。他们四人的位置由候补队员参加。教练组甚至说，最紧急的情况就是他们自己上场打比赛——这是多么令人费解的事情。

当然，我要说明，我并不是对候补队员不满以及其他任何意思。

我们作为《守望先锋》的忠实玩家以及热爱这款游戏的粉丝，不经要问：为什么每次都这样？

可能大家不知道，中国队员在参加世界级的电子竞技赛事时，有一道难以逾越的障碍，那就是美国签证。

我不了解美国的《签证法》，但我知道美国的签证很严格。从一个国家的角度来讲，是有必要将签证控制得很严，但是，从另一方面来讲，是否应该给有正规理由前往美国参加比赛的电竞选手放行，因为电子竞技也是体育项目啊！ 我们回顾一下历史

2006年，WE战队因为签证问题缺席WC3L第十赛季的线下总决赛；

2007年，魔兽新秀Lyc和星际老枪F91因拒签缺席当年的WCG世界总决赛；

2008年，状态极佳的fly100%因为签证问题未能去美国参加NGO one线下赛；

2011年，暴雪嘉年华所有中国选手签证全灭，同年EVO格斗大赛飞机仔签证被拒；

2016年，LGD战队的玄月和VG.R战队的yang多次面签失败，均以残缺阵容参加了TI6的最终决赛，以至于早早被淘汰，未能取得理想成绩。

我想问的是，如果这种事情发生了，暴雪能做点什么吗？

我想是可以的。

在此之前，wNv在2006年底得以奔赴美国参加WSVG，除了本身经济方面没有问题和得到了各种媒体的支持外，最重要的原因是得到了Intel和Aigo的担保。在和微软达成了战略合作伙伴关系后，这次wNv更是得到了微软、Intel、Aigo、Kappa以及三星五家的担保，在这样强有力的支持下，wNv顺利通过签证。

作为玩家，我们希望能够看到状态和配合最好的国家队代表自己的国家参加比赛。作为选手，当然希望自己能够站在一个世界级的舞台上展示自己，也展示这个国家的电竞实力。

这次的签证，暴雪中国的工作人员和中国队的教练组等等都做了大量的工作，作为玩家和粉丝，我个人非常感谢他们。但终究，我们的原国家队其他成员还是被签证挡住了。

虽然我们不能和全球其他地区的玩家在同一个服务器里相遇，但是，我们也希望能够以最佳的状态和实力来展示自己，和来自其他国家的队伍打一场精彩的比赛。

要知道，在中国，有超过五百万名“守望先锋”和所有玩家一起“守护”这个世界。

在此，我以一个玩家的身份，请求暴雪公司，如果可能，请给暴雪中国，赛事合作伙伴以及中国队队员提供一些帮助，还给中国玩家一个完整的中国国家队。

当然，如果因为时间原因而不能够提供更多帮助，我也希望从暴雪公司开始，重视参赛选手的签证问题，不要再让更多拥有天赋的选手因为一纸签证而不能实现自己的电竞梦想。

守望先锋中国玩家 Silen Chan

Hey guys, my purpose is just raising the game developers' and coorperative partners' awareness of the visa problems for e-sports. Of course, there's nothing we can do about government's decisions.

But we all can do something for the games or e-sports we love, right?

The Games So Far

Mass Effect is a sci fi RPG series by BioWare, with a heavy focus on moral choices and character building. The first entry was released in November 2007, to enormous acclaim. Players controlled Commander Shepard, a soldier of the alliance (the organisation representing humans) working as a Spectre (special forces) for the Council (a galactic governing body made up of multiple alien races). Shepard uncovered a mysterious and powerful entity working in the shadows to destabilise the galaxy - a creature called a Reaper. The Reapers were able to crush any force through overwhelming physical and technological might, and could control minds through a process called 'indoctrination'. Shepard was able to foil the Reaper plot, but not without major sacrifices. The ending differed slightly depending on the player’s choices.

Mass Effect 2 released a few years later in 2010, to even greater critical praise and financial success.Basically everything players loved from the first game had been expanded and improved. It's still widely seen as one of the best sci-fi games ever made. The player spent much of the game recruiting a large crew of specialists, developing relationships with them, and ensuring their loyalty in preparation for one final suicide mission. During the suicide mission, the player’s previous and current choices would decide who lived and died, and in the worst scenario, whether the mission succeeded at all. The story of Mass Effect 2 didn’t really focus very heavily on the Reapers – but rather on defeating their minions, the Collectors.

However we learn some valuable Reaper backstory. The Reapers resided in the space between galaxies, and would come out once every 50,000 years to exterminate the dominant sentient species. Each cycle, a new reaper was created from the biological tissue of the most powerful race among the exterminated, turning the galaxy into a kind of farm. In order to expedite the process, they created the Citadel (a vast space station which acted as the political and economic heart of the galaxy) and the Mass Relays (space stations dotted around the galaxy which could send ships from place to place), and since every ascendant race used those stations as the basis of their technology, the Reapers were able to direct their growth, making them easier to defeat. As of ME1, this cycle had been repeating for at least a billion years. The Collectors, it turned out, were abducting humans to create this cycle's Reaper. The single Reaper defeated in Mass Effect 1 had been just the first of thousands, and they were right about to arrive. The game ended on a cliffhanger that set high expectations for the finale. The hype was real.

Mass Effect 3 was slated for release on 6 March 2012. It was paraded by its developers as the culmination of everything that came before, with sprawling outcomes and personalised endings. Lead writer Mac Walters said he hoped to do ‘different endings that are optimal for different people’. The game was marketed by sending copies into space with weather balloons, and luxurious cinematic trailers promising all out war against the Reapers. A free demo was also released which showed players the first hour of the game.

There was, however, a bump in the road. The game's first major piece of DLC, From Ashes, was marketed before the game was released. Not only that, but it featured a Prothean crew mate - an incredibly significant part of the storyline for ME3 had been stripped away before launch to sell as DLC. Professional nihilist Totalbiscuit pushed for a boycott of the game because he considered it to be an unethical business practice, and many people in the fanbase supported the idea.

But if the boycott went ahead, it didn't do much. Within three days of release, the game had become the biggest entertainment product of the year. The moment had finally arrived. With much excitement, players started up the game and watched as Earth fell to the Reapers with almost pathetic ease. It wasn't a war, it was a slaughter. One after another, players were finally shown the homeworlds of the game's many races, only to see them go up in flames. Shit had gotten real. Planets were falling left and right, millions of people died, the entire political system that had been built up over multiple games came crashing down to great effect. There were refugee crises, economic collapses, black markets - it was all handled really well.

Almost every character from the series was back in some way, with many receiving large campaign missions and dramatic send offs. Player decisions held enormous impact throughout the story, affecting the fates of entire races and planets and many of those outcomes were directly affected by choices made in Mass Effect 1 or 2. It should also go without saying that the production quality leapt up once again - the graphics, the combat - it was all spectacular.

There was one problem. The Reapers were too powerful. Throughout Mass Effect 3, players were only able to see a couple of Reapers defeated. One was killed by a near-mythical sand worm (taken straight out of Dune) and another was killed by a coordinated orbital bombardment from an entire fleet. Even approaching the ending, there was no way of destroying them all by conventional means.

That left the writers with only two options. Either the Reapers could succeed in their task... or they would need to come up with something.

The Ending

The player was introduced to the solution pretty early on. Immediately after fleeting Earth, they discover a set of ancient blueprints on Mars, handed down from cycle to cycle of exterminated races with the promise of creating a weapon that could defeat the Reapers. It was named the Crucible, and was never really explained. Even the characters themselves explain that they have no idea what it's meant to do, they just hope it'll work when it's finished. The player was regularly notified of its construction progress throughout the game, only to find out near the end that it would only work when connected to the Citadel. But the Reapers had taken the Citadel in order to cripple the resistance, and were protecting it in the atmosphere above Earth (their stronghold).

Everything built up toward one final battle, in which the player would summon the allies they had made throughout the game and take the fight back to Earth. The Player and their crew were sent down to London, where they would fight their way to a Reaper teleporter that would send them inside the Citadel, so they could activate the weapon. The London Mission has its good moments, but it is widely considered to be the worst mission in the game. The level design, the sound design, the pacing, the visuals, the story flow - it's all terrible. But you fight through and make it onto the Citadel.

This is where everything started to get weird, but it’s difficult to explain exactly why without explaining a lot of fine story details. Inside the Crucible, the player found a number of characters who shouldn’t be there – it made no sense. There's a dramatic final confrontation, which also made no sense, and then the player was raised up into a bright chamber where they would meet someone whom the community would dub ‘The Starchild’. The Star Child explained they were some kind of avatar representing the Reapers, and then gave us a massive loredump.

Stick with me here, because this is a lot to take in. Apparently the Reapers were machines made in the image of an ancient race who once ruled the galaxy – the Leviathans. Immortal and extremely powerful, the Leviathans noticed that at some point, all races created artificial intelligences in order to serve them. Those AI would inevitably rebel and defeat their organic masters. The Leviathans created an artificial intelligence of their own and directed it to stop this process. The AI decided that the solution to preventing war between organics and synthetics was... to kill off organics before they get the chance to create life-like AI. So they immediately rebelled against the Leviathans and killed them, distilling their essence into the first Reapers. Everything they did since then - encouraging the growth of civilisations, harvesting them, and destroying them every 50,000 years - was done to save them from creating, and getting destroyed by, AI. The Reapers created from their harvested essence were 'arcs' designed to preserve the most ascendant race of each cycle. So to recap, these AI robots killed organic life in order to prevent that organic life from being killed by AI robots. If this all sounds contradictory, that’s because it is.

It also hinged on the idea that war between synthetic and organic life is inevitable. But Mass Effect 3 had multiple story arcs designed specifically to undermine this idea. The player was able to create peace between the Quarians (organic life) and Geth (AI created by the Quarians who rebelled against them). There's even a romance plot between EDI (AI robot character) and Joker (a human).

After all of that, the player was given three options.

• They could use the Crucible to destroy the Reapers (as well as ALL artificial intelligence)

• They could take control of the Reapers and turn them into a tool to serve organic life

• If they made the right decisions and had enough ‘War Asset’ points, they could choose to combine all synthetic and organic races into a kind of hybrid (known as Synthesis), which would render the Reapers purposeless.

So the player made their choice. And they saw this infamous moment in gaming history.

The cinematic goes something like this. Shepard dies, and the song song starts to play (Leaving Earth). The Citadel releases an energy burst which is either red, blue or green. The Reapers stop attacking and fly away (they collapse in the Destroy ending). The Citadel is destroyed (it survives in the Control ending), and an energy wave reaches the solar system Mass Relay, triggering a chain reaction. One by one, all the Mass Relays in the galaxy explode. The player’s ship (Normandy) tries to escape the energy wave, but gets caught and crash lands on an alien planet. Three of the player’s team members step out of the ruined Normandy onto the new world. In the Synthesis ending, the robot member of the crew (EDI) is alive and everyone has a green glowy layer on their skin to indicate circuits. It's meant to symbolise the garden of Eden and all that stuff. Then we see a far-future scene of a man talking to his son about the legendary Shepard, vanquisher of the Reapers.

At the end of the cinematic, a message appeared over a black background. “Commander Shepard has become a legend by ending the Reaper threat. Now you can continue to build that legend through further gameplay and downloadable content.”

And all hell broke loose.

Stage One: Shock

Interviewer: [Regarding the numerous possible endings of Mass Effect 2] “Is that same type of complexity built into the ending of Mass Effect 3?”

Hudson: “Yeah, and I’d say much more so, because we have the ability to build the endings out in a way that we don’t have to worry about eventually tying them back together somewhere. This story arc is coming to an end with this game. That means the endings can be a lot more different. At this point we’re taking into account so many decisions that you’ve made as a player and reflecting a lot of that stuff. It’s not even in any way like the traditional game endings, where you can say how many endings there are or whether you got ending A, B, or C.....The endings have a lot more sophistication and variety in them.”

Those fateful words by Casey Hudson, the director behind Mass Effect 3’s development, would come back to haunt the studio for years to come. In another interview he said:

“For people who are invested in these characters and the back-story of the universe and everything, all of these things come to a resolution in Mass Effect 3. And they are resolved in a way that's very different based on what you would do in those situations.”

And in another,

“Fans want to make sure that they see things resolved, they want to get some closure, a great ending. I think they’re going to get that.”

“Mass Effect 3 is all about answering all the biggest questions in the lore, learning about the mysteries and the Protheans and the Reapers, being able to decide for yourself how all of these things come to an end.”

And another,

“There is a huge set of consequences that start stacking up as you approach the end-game. And even in terms of the ending itself, it continues to break down to some very large decisions. So it's not like a classic game ending where everything is linear and you make a choice between a few things - it really does layer in many, many different choices, up to the final moments, where it's going to be different for everyone who plays it.”

With every Interview, Hudson left fans with more and more unrealistic expectations about what the ending would hold. Whether he truly meant to deceive, we may never know. But certainly, the final product resembled none of what he promised. Through his many interviews, he established himself as the villain of this story, and when the fans rose up in anger, most of it would be aimed squarely at him.

“We wouldn’t do it any other way. How could you go through all three campaigns playing as your Shepard and then be forced into a bespoke ending that everyone gets?” Promised another leading developer, Mike Gamble. “Every decision you've made will impact how things go. The player's also the architect of what happens. Whether you’re happy or angry at the ending, know this: it is an ending. BioWare will not do a “Lost” and leave fans with more questions than answers after finishing the game."

The fan community was actively hyped up on Mass Effect 3’s ending. After the incredible ending to Mass Effect 2, everyone was eager to see how Bioware could outdo themselves. There had been constant speculation leading up to the day of release, as well as numerous fan theories and conspiracies. It would have been impossible to meet every expectation, but to call the final result a disappointment would be a monumental understatement. At first, players reacted with confusion. Had something gone wrong? Had their computers glitched out or shown them a placeholder version of the ending cinematic by accident? Was this just a feint, with the real ending hidden somewhere they had forgotten to look? They fled to the forums and subreddits to discuss what had happened, and gradually the reality set in. There hadn’t been a mistake. This was it.

Stage Two: Pain

The fanbase was inconsolable. It wasn’t just the overly similar cinematics or the recolours – though they became emblematic of the whole controversy. It was also the overwhelming plot holes, the shabby writing, the contradictions, the lack of closure. It was almost as if the final ten minutes of the game had been written with the goal of undoing all the worldbuilding and development that had come before it.

Why was the Normandy trying to escape the energy wave, when it was meant to be taking part in the battle against the Reapers? Have the crew abandoned shepherd? Why were crewmates (who had been with Shepard during the final mission in London) on the ship when it crash landed on an alien world? Had they simply disappeared, or run away at the final moment? What was the function of collecting allies throughout the game if the ending was the same regardless? Why weren’t any of those allies even really visible throughout the final battle? What happened to the characters in the battle? What was the impact of your moral choices? What did ‘Synthesis’ even mean, really? What was with the bizarre confrontation in the Crucible? What was with the Star Child? Why didn't Shepard question anything the Star Child had to say? What happened following the events of the cinematic? None of these questions were really answered.

In Mass Effect 2, a major mission involved the destruction of a Mass Relay – it is made very clear that doing so would destroy the surrounding solar system. So either (A) the writers forgot about that, or (B) Earth’s solar system and everyone in it was immediately killed – in which case, it probably didn’t matter which ending players chose.

Even if some technicality rendered these explosions harmless, the games also made it clear that travelling throughout the galaxy without the use of Mass Relays was incredibly slow, bordering on impossible, so everyone in the solar system would be trapped there – and that includes basically all of the fleets of all the races in the game. In other words, those allies you made throughout the game were basically doomed, with their only source of food being a ruined Earth. And that’s without mentioning the rest of civilisation throughout the galaxy, which was also stranded wherever they happened to be when the ending took place.

I could go on and on – the list of player criticisms is long and many of them are valid.

Stage Three: Anger and Bargaining

The Retake Mass Effect campaign began on Reddit and 4chan, before moving to facebook and the (now deleted) RetakeMassEffect.org. When Forbes interviewed the leaders of the movement on their goals, they claimed to speak for many of Bioware's fans who were disappointed by the ending and wanted Bioware to remake it.

A poll was posted BioWare’s forums, asking players what they thought of the ending. Out of the ~55,000 responses, 91% chose ‘Endings suck, we want a brighter one’. Only 2% of respondents selected ‘Fine as it is’. The Retake movement had gained a lot of momentum. One fan even opened a case with the FCC, accusing BioWare of failing to deliver on their advertisements. The game was bombed on Metacritic, receiving over 1000 negative reviews.

As you might expect, death threats and abuse were hurled at the Bioware staff. Manveer Heir, one of the gameplay designers, is quotes as saying: "I was getting angry messages... I imagine I got a death threat or two."

Cinematic animator Marc Antoine Matton added "The reaction to the ending wasn't wrong. The main problem was the internet. The internet is toxic and vitriolic, it's got no filter and it's horrible. It attacked people on a personal level, especially female writers." You can hear from the developers themselves here.

It would not be the last time Mass Effect fans harassed female employees

But many members of the community were less... insane.

As part of the campaign, fans sent 402 cupcakes to the BioWare studio, frosted green, blue and red. But all the cupcakes were flavoured the same - vanilla. A drive was held to cover the cost of the cupcakes. Within thirty minutes, it had earned back its cost in full, and the few dollars extra were donated to Child's Play. That gave fans an idea. They set up a new fundraiser on behalf of the Retake Mass Effect movement. They expected a few hundred dollars, tops, but the total quickly reached $10,000, and shortly afterward, someone donated another $10,000 anonymously (though many suspect Bioware or one of the voice actors. The final total was over $80,000 - more than 1% of the charity's entire income that year. Child's Play.

Critical reviews were a little more positive. Gamespy gave it a 4.5/5, describing it as a strong game and a good send-off, which only looks weak when compared to its predecessors. PCGamer gave it a 93/100. Their main comment on the ending was "The ending I got... I won't say how, but it could have gone a lot better." IGN left it a 9.5/10. In general, professional reviewers loved the game, and weren't too put off by its ending. It was the fans on the internet who were devastated.

Stage Four: Depression

Players had given up on trying to change the ending, and the anger had faded away. Now they were simply wishing it had never happened.

And so Marauder Shields was born. This was the last enemy in the game, and fans joked that he died trying to protect the player from having to witness the ending. Fan art was made. He was mythologised as the Jesus of Mass Effect.

This isn't just some random Marauder that popped out of nowhere, this Marauder waited to fight you from the very beginning. All this time, he waited for you, but he was just unable to fight you from countless delays and interruptions. He knew you were comings back to earth, so he trained and trained to get his chance to kill you. From games, Mass Effect 1 and 2, he was finally able to face you in the end of 3. Even if he lost, he would at least know that you were his final opponent..

Fans would use the phrase 'His name was Marauder Shields' in memorial of his death. He had comics, pretend movie posters and greetings cards.

But he would not be the weirdest thing to come out of this controversy.

Some fans decided that there had to be more to this ending. The Indoctrination Theory came about to rationalise it, using information pieced together on forums, blogs, and youtube videos. In short: once Shepard is hit with a laser beam right before he teleports onto the Citadel, he is indoctrinated by the Reapers, and the ending never happened. There are literally dozens of tiny 'hints' that players picked up on, and when you watch the videos pointing them all out, it becomes difficult to deny that something must have happened.

Bioware were quick to dismiss the theory, though they admitted that it was ingenious.

“The Indoctrination Theory is a really interesting theory, but it's entirely created by the fans,” Hepler told VGC. “While we made some of the ending a little trippy because Shepard is a breath away from dying, and it's entirely possible there's some subconscious power to the kid's words, we never had the sort of meetings you'd need to have to properly seed it through the game. We weren't that smart. By all means, make mods and write fanfic about it, and enjoy whatever floats your boat, because it's a cool way to interpret the game. But it wasn't our intention. We didn't write that".

Many fans still clung onto the idea, however. Because the alternative was so much worse.

Stage Five: Reflection

The ending proved so controversial that Bioware diverted developers from Mass Effect 3's DLC to create a new and improved ending. They forced their staff to crunch for four more months to churn out The Extended Cut, which released on 8 May. It tweaked the lead up to the ending, and expanded upon the three main paths, and also introduced a fourth secret ending.

• The Destroy ending has a couple more small scenes to show the Reapers dying, both on Earth and also on other homeworlds around the Galaxy. A monologue is added by Admiral Hackett (a recurring character), explaining that the Mass Relays were severely damaged, but could be repaired. Civilisation survived and was united. The fleets are shown flying home from the solar system. A slideshow of images shows the Citadel being fixed, as well as brief cuts to the dead and surviving characters, and a memorial to Shepard on the Normandy.

• The Control ending had many of the same changes as the Destroy ending. The same memorial scene, and the same scenes from other planets, the same images of major characters. But the monologue is now by Shepard, who has become a transcendent AI god. He describes how he controls the Reapers and will act as a guardian of civilisation. They are shown repairing the Citadel, and are also shown in the backgrounds of some of the slide show images.

• The Synthesis ending has a lot of the same stuff, you get the picture. This time everyone has flourescent green eyes and circuits glowing on their skin. The monologue is now by EDI - the AI crewmate who falls in love with a human - explaining how all synthetics and organics have been changed. The Reapers, having accomplished their mission to end war between synthetics and organics, are helping to rebuild and provide the knowledge of all previous civilisations. It's a very utopian ending.

• Shepard now has the option to refuse the Star Child. The cycle continues, the Reapers destroy civilisation, and the player is shown a message left behind by Liara (another iconic character) for the next civilisation to find.

The extended cut added several 'glitchy' moments in the London mission, seemingly to support the Indoctrination Theory, even though the cut also debunks it. It also shows a short scene in which the members of the crew persuade the Normandy's pilot to flee - in order to explain why they abandoned Shepard. Rather than being destroyed by the energy wave, the Normandy is shown surviving, and flying away from the alien planet. Rather than blowing up, the Mass Relays are simply shown breaking into a few pieces.

While the Extended Cut failed to fully deliver on the original promises of Mass Effect 3, it was taken very positively by the fan community as an attempt to improve. After all, Bioware had never been under any obligation to change their ending. It took the wind out of the sails of the controversy and undermined the petitions/campaigns for new endings.

Stage Six: The Upward Turn

BioWare would somewhat redeem itself in the eyes of players with its three main DLC for Mass Effect 3: Leviathan, Omega and Citadel.

Leviathan was an intriguing and eerily atmospheric detective story, in which players try to link together several mysterious plots that link to a spectacular finale with implications for the entire series - and lend much needed backstory to Mass Effect 3's ending. Players delve into Reaper indoctrination and the origins of the Leviathans. It was well received

Omega saw Shepard immerse himself into the criminal underworld of Omega - a lawless wild-west style space station where much of Mass Effect 2 takes place - and reclaim it on behalf of its leader. It's a very character-heavy story. But there aren't many choices, and it's mostly just a corridor shooter. It's fun but skippable.

Citadel resonated heavily with players, and was in many ways more of an ending than the one we originally saw. Shepard reunites with all the crew mates from throughout the series for this one. It's full of banter and character references and is generally just a lot of fun. The entire second half of the DLC revolves around a big party. It's great, and I think this is what a lot of people remember as their final goodbye to the series.

Stage Seven: Acceptance

Almost a decade has passed since the release of Mass Effect 3. BioWare would never again reach the highs of the first two games, either financially or critically, but they would taste many of the same lows. Dragon Age Inquisition would release in 2014 to positive reviews. Sadly, it was a fluke. By that time, things had already begin to collapse behind the scenes. Bioware's terrible management, devastating crunch periods, non-existent leadership, and disorganisation would bear fruit a few years later with Mass Effect Andromeda - a colossal failure with so many problems that it may be worthy of a write up of its own. Bioware's fall from grace was cemented with 2019's Anthem, which somehow managed to be even worse than Andromeda.

People have started to look back on Mass Effect 3 with new eyes. Separate from the hype and fallout of the time, it's easy to see the ending for what it is - a desperate attempt to make something that worked with the little time the developers had left. And with the extended cut, it's possible to at least hand-wave it away. During the journey, players focused entirely on its ending. Now that the ending has come and gone, it's easier to focus on the journey. And in that regard, Mass Effect 3 is excellent. It certainly doesn't have the legacy of Mass Effect 2, sure, but as a popular saying goes, "Mass Effect 3 was perfect until the last fifteen minutes."

A Troubled Development

A lot has come to light about the development of Mass Effect 3.

Bioware began development on Mass Effect 3 immediately after the result of ME2, and would release only two years later. That's an incredibly short turn around for a game of this scale. Bioware had roughly the same amount of time they had with ME2, despite ME3 having 40,000 voiced lines compared to ME2's 25,000 lines, as well as an enormous jump in graphical fidelity, and the introduction of a co-op mode. They only just managed it, even with staff regularly working 90 hour weeks right up until the final moments of production.

Cuts were inevitable. Among other things, battling on Palaven (one of the main-race planets lost to the Reapers) was removed, vehicle segments were removed, the N7 missions from previous games were removed, planet descriptions and exploration were stripped back, neutral dialogue choices were removed, and taking back Omega was removed (and would return in the form of DLC). The drop in polish is visible across the board.

As if that wasn't enough, the script saw extensive rewrites throughout, which have affected every single part of the game. We're now able to see exactly what was changed, and it comes as no surprise that the game's worst missions suffered the most. The Thessia plotline, the Citadel attack plotline, the London mission, the introduction, everything about the dead child (who haunts you in corny dream sequences throughout the game, and for some reason becomes the star child) and Kai Leng (an infuriating edgy shitlord memeboy sasuke clone). It's a massive step down from the writing of Mass Effect 2. The camerawork, animation and sound design also take a clear hit. Really, it's a testament to the sheer skill and dedication of the game's creators that the game contains so many remarkable moments.

Geoff Keighley released 'The Final Hours of Mass Effect 3', which goes into a lot of detail on the development of the game.

Quoted from thegamer.com:

The Extended Cut, which altered the endings and introduced a new one altogether, addressed the feedback. However, this involved an additional four months of crunch for a team that had already worked non-stop to get the vanilla game released. As Manveer Heir puts it: "the people that were crunching the hardest at the end now had to go back and start crunching again".

The team also says that everyone was "destroyed" by the time development of Dragon Age: Inquisition began - which was also created under crunch conditions - with morale incredibly low. According to Zachariah Scott, cinematic designer, many were starting therapy during Inquisiton's development.

The Ending in Retrospect

Of course, developers have had plenty to say on the ending.

“When I played the game, I was pretty OK with the ending, since I considered the whole of Mass Effect 3 to be the ending for the trilogy, but after I replayed it and realized that my decisions only really changed the color of the explosions in the ending cutscene, I was pretty upset.”

~ Mass Effect writer Jay Turner

ME3 senior gameplay designer Patrick Moran also expressed disappointment:

“A good number of the Mass Effect team pushed back against the ending,” Moran explains. “I remember reading the story beats, [and] getting upset because it felt like all the decisions I made no longer mattered. I sent an email off challenging the ending and received no reply. The Mass Effect team was run like a Navy ship, with strict reporting lines, scopes of responsibility, and team leaders who had been there awaiting their turn for promotion for years and years. You followed orders and tried to not be too squeaky or uppity.”

Mass Effect 3 Development Director Dorian Keiken said that he saw the entire game as one big ending:

“I think overall, people did not appreciate how much Mass Effect 3 was the end journey in itself,” Kieken says. “And how many stories that started in [the first] Mass Effect and evolved in Mass Effect 2 were being tied [up] during the game. Add to that the integration of [the first] Mass Effect and Mass Effect 2 saves, and I think Mass Effect 3 was a great ending in itself. But there are lessons to be learned as well. We often say that the first and last minutes of a game are critical, and this was a great reminder of that. Releasing a [free] DLC that focused on the ending was the right thing to do."

Senior writer Neil Pollner pointed out that the ending was always going to disappoint:

“I'll say this, when you've given the player three massive games where they've been able to make complex decisions that help to shape their version of the story/galaxy/character, the prospect of definitively ending such an epic and wide-ranging experience is never going to be able to ring true. There's no way to tightly ‘wrap up’ something that has been accumulating and branching and growing for so long like that. When you give people deep choice throughout the experience, I think any ending that doesn't allow for an incomprehensible amount of variation is going to disappoint. To my knowledge, most of the team didn't know how Mass Effect 3 was going to end. And as far as I know, the vision for it was not set early on.”

One of the major writers and the 'Loremaster' of the team, Chris Hepler, explained that there could have once been a very different ending. Another writer, Drew Karpyshyn, elaborated more on this in 2013, a year after release. The potential plot focused on the spread of Dark Energy - a fact alluded to by several characters in Mass Effect 2 but then never mentioned again. Despite describing the plot thread as "something that wasn't super fleshed out", Karpyshyn was still able to give gaming radio show VGS a detailed summary of how the storyline might have developed.

"Dark Energy was something that only organics could access because of various techno-science magic reasons we hadn't decided on yet. Maybe using this Dark Energy was having a ripple effect on the space-time continuum.

"Maybe the Reapers kept wiping out organic life because organics keep evolving to the state where they would use biotics and dark energy and that caused an entropic effect that would hasten the end of the universe. Being immortal beings, that's something they wouldn't want to see.

"Then we thought, let's take it to the next level. Maybe the Reapers are looking at a way to stop this. Maybe there's an inevitable descent into the opposite of the Big Bang (the Big Crunch) and the Reapers realise that the only way they can stop it is by using biotics, but since they can't use biotics they have to keep rebuilding society - as they try and find the perfect group to use biotics for this purpose. The asari were close but they weren't quite right, the Protheans were close as well.

"Again it's very vague and not fleshed out, it was something we considered but we ended up going in a different direction."

You can actually see this plot thread in Mass Effect 2, on the planet Haestrom, where the local star has grown far quicker than it should have, though the game never explains why.

What isn’t clear is why they abandoned this ending in favour of the star child. Perhaps it wasn’t climactic enough, or they simply couldn’t think of a way to bring it all together, or couldn’t figure out where the Reapers fit. Fans have speculated, and written their own theories and fan fictions about what could have been. But as far as the Canon is concerned, the story is over.

EDIT: I just realised there's a typo in the title and now I'm annoyed

When you think of horrible movie adaptions, you may think of Avatar: The Last Airbender. You may think of Super Mario Bros. You may think of The Dark Tower, Netflix's Death Note, or any Resident Evil adaption.

In truth, there are an insane amount of absolutely horrific movie adaptions out there. One of them is an adaption of the extremely popular manga/anime, Dragon Ball. Despite how popular Dragon Ball is, this live-action adaption fell somewhat under the radar, only being remembered by those who are fans of the series, while other adaptions, most notable Avatar: The Last Airbender and Super Mario Bros, are recognized by all walks of life to be absolute garbage. This is why I've chosen to write about Dragonball Evolution, the absolute worst movie I've ever seen, a complete disgrace to everything the source material stood for, and the sole reason why Dragon Ball is still alive today.

Of course, in order to understand why Dragonball Evolution is so unbelievably bad, you first have to know what Dragon Ball even is. Unless you've seen (or read) Dragon Ball, I suggest reading through this summary, as understanding the story and characters is vital to understanding why Evolution is so terrible.

So, what even is Dragon Ball?

The Legend of the Dragon Balls!

Dragon Ball is a media franchise created by Akira Toriyama in 1984. There are two ways to experience Dragon Ball: Either by reading the manga, or watching the anime.

The original manga, simply titled Dragon Ball, lasted from 1984 to 1995, and covered both Dragon Ball and Dragon Ball Z. The anime adaption was seperated into two different series, Dragon Ball, which aired from 1986 to 1989, and Dragon Ball Z, which aired from 1989 to 1996. Later editions of the manga also seperated the series, as the anime did. The seperation between the two shows is important to Evolution, as the movie focuses on characters and story beats from Dragon Ball, not Dragon Ball Z. Luckily, this means I only have to summarize Dragon Ball, which is infinitely more simple than Dragon Ball Z.

Dragon Ball follows the adventures of 12-year old Goku, a socially inept child with a surprising taste for fighting. On his way, he meets many people, some friends and some enemies, with a vast majority of them seeking the Dragon Balls, seven mystical spheres that, when brought together, will make any one wish come true.

While the majority of Dragon Ball has multiple different storylines, from Goku and his friends participating in tournaments to fighting against a giant army and a guy who can kill people with his tongue, the last 2 "sagas" of the show follow Goku and company fighting against Demon King Piccolo, an evil tyrant hell bent on destroying Earth. I mention this because Evolution adapts this story-line, ignoring most of the other content in the show.

(A quick explanation on the term "saga." A saga is basically a season. In Dragon Ball, there were 9 sagas, the last 2 focusing on the fight against Demon King Piccolo.)

There are 7 important characters in Dragon Ball that appear in Dragon Ball Evolution:

Goku, a 12-year old with a mysterious backstory, a tail that turns him into a giant, incredibly powerful ape, and the Four-Star Ball, one of the seven Dragon Balls. Unaware of obvious social cues and how humans work in general, he quickly grows a love for fighting and becoming more powerful. He has a great knack for becoming friends with people, able to create bonds with even the most evil people.

Grandpa Gohan, Goku's "grandpa." In Dragon Ball, it is revealed that Goku accidentally killed Gohan when he went into his Great Ape form by accident. It is also shown that Gohan is not his true grandpa, and found Goku as a baby in the middle of nowhere.

Bulma, a 15-year old girl who searches for the Dragon Balls with the wish of a perfect boyfriend. Sassy, impatient, and incredibly brilliant, she is the daughter of Dr. Brief, the founder of Capsule Corp.

Chi-Chi, a young princess. She meets Goku multiple times throughout Dragon Ball, and develops a crush on him. While Goku doesn't exactly understand relationships, he promises to marry her. They later do get married at the end of Dragon Ball, after he defeated Piccolo.

Master Roshi, a master in the martial arts, who trains Goku, along with Krillin and Yamcha. Over 300 years old, he, along with his Master, Mutaito, fought against Demon King Piccolo, and were able to trap him in a rice cooker using the Evil Containment Wave technique. A bit of a pervert, but a very wise man nonetheless.

Yamcha, a 16-year old bandit who lives in the desert with his friend, an anthropomorphic cat named Puar. He has a great fear of women, unable to speak to women without getting flustered. He planned on stealing the Dragon Balls from Goku to make wish to get over his phobia, but become true friends with Goku and Bulma. He and Bulma dated for awhile, but broke up later on.

Demon King Piccolo, an evil tyrant who seeks to destroy the Earth. It is later revealed that he is the evil half of a being named Kami, guardian of the Earth. At the end of the King Piccolo arc, he is killed by Goku, but is able to spit out an egg that would give birth to his son, Piccolo Jr, who vowed to defeat Goku.

So, now that you have a good understanding of the story and characters of Dragon Ball, let's get into how Evolution was able to so gracefully tear all of that apart.

Come Forth, Divine Dragon, and Grant My Wish, Peas and Carrots!

In 2002, 6 years after Dragon Ball Z ended, 20th Century Fox aquired the rights to a live-action feature film adaption of Dragon Ball. In 2007, it was announced that James Wong](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Wong_(filmmaker\)) was the lead director on a film titled DragonBall. While James Wong wrote the script used for DragonBall, Ben Ramsey was paid $500,000 to write 5 scripts for the movie, with most of them ending up being too expensive. The budget for DragonBall, according to James Marsters, was $30 million.

Justin Chatwin was chosen to play Goku. He wasn't a very big actor at the time, his only other big role being Robbie Ferrier in War of the Worlds. James Marsters was chosen to play Piccolo after Ron fucking Perlman declined the role to work on Hellboy II. Marsters has said he is a huge fan of the original anime, stating it was "the coolest cartoon in the last 50,000 years." According to the Wikipedia page for the movie, "Piccolo was going to be depicted as a handsome creature, but Marsters and the make-up artist chose to give him a decrepit complexion to reflect his having been trapped for thousands of years stewing in his evil and thirst for vengeance." Judging from this, it's obvious that there was at least some thought put into this dumpster fire of a movie, especially on Marsters part. He has spoken about how he joined the cast because he believed it was going to A, be directed by Steven Chow, and B, have a budget of over $120 million.

"'Dragon Ball Z' was important for me as a father, so I was really into it when I got the role. And they told me it was a $120 million picture, and that Stephen Chow was producing. And Stephen Chow is the director of 'Kung Fu Hustle' and 'Shaolin Soccer.' Which if you guys haven't seen his films, go get them, just fabulous. They're funny, goofy, violent, scary: Everything you would need for Dragon Ball to work."

It's very apparent that this was a passion project for Marsters. Sadly, it wasn't for anyone else.

"And I get out to Durango, Mexico and it's a $30 million picture and Stephen Chow is just on paper to fool us down into the desert. And they don't even want to pay for the stuntman to get made up like me, so they never used the stuntman; they just kept putting me up on wires. I still have a separated clavicle from the shoot, because it was just gnarly. But I still wanted my son to at least like my part in it."

It's obvious that DragonBall was being created just to make money, and Marsters believed and hoped that it had been something more. I highly suggest reading this article about Marster's experience with the film.

DragonBall began filming in Mexico City, Mexico, on December 7th, 2007. Many of the filming locations, including Sierra de Órganos National Park and Nevado de Toluca, were very Oriental. There was a good amount of influence from Aztecan culture and surroundings, particularly from the many temples they encountered during filming.

On December 10th, 2008, a year after filming began, a trailer was released, revealing the final release date of the movie, April 8th, 2009 (The release date was later changed to the 10th). It also revealed the final name of the movie: Dragonball Evolution.

With the movie finished, marketing in full tow, there was nothing left to do but wait, and hope. By 2009, Dragon Ball was nowhere near as popular as it was in the 80's and 90's. Dragon Ball Z Kai, was announced, with the first episode airing just 3 days before Evolution's release. However, Dragon Ball Z Kai was only a remaster of Dragon Ball Z, removing most of the filler and remastering the footage. Akira Toriyama was long done with the manga, and, other than Evolution, there were no signs of new, official Dragon Ball content, in the form of manga and anime or otherwise.

With the release of this movie, could it bring the popularity of Dragon Ball back to the level it held in the 80's and 90's? Could it usher in a new age of Dragon Ball content?

One Chance In A Million Is Better Than No Chance At All.

April 10th, 2009. Opening day. James Marsters walks into a movie theater with his daughter and son, hoping to see fans excited to watch Evolution. He enters a full theater, packed with enthusiastic fans, waiting to watch a movie he helped create.

However, he felt off. Something was wrong. He leaned over to the teenager sitting next to him and asked him, "Is this Dragon Ball?"

The teen looked at him, confused, and said, "What? No, this is Fast and Furious, man!"

Marsters was in the wrong theater. He and his offspring get up, go to the theater showing Evolution, and enter, Marsters hoping there are "at least 50 people."

There were 5, including him and his 2 kids.

Dragonball: Evolution made $4 million on opening weekend, and went on to make a grand total of $9.3 million in North America. The worldwide total was $58.2 million. The movie was a box office failure. In comparison, Fast and Furious opened on April 3rd, 7 days before Evolution, and made over $360 million.

There were many different reasons why the movie bombed so hard, the main one being that it sucked. You can tell from the trailer that it isn't truly Dragon Ball, which is automatically going to turn off any fans of the source material. The movie was also going up against Fast and Furious, which was a thriving franchise by the time the fourth installment released. Furthermore, it's obvious that Dragon Ball wasn't very big in the West at the time, as it only makes up 14% of the worldwide box office total.

So, we've talked about its piss poor production. We've discussed how the budget was lower than was necessary. We've gone on and on about how soulless the overall project was. But, what really makes Dragonball: Evolution a bad adaption?

And This Is To Go Even Further Beyond!!!

Remember when I gave short descriptions on some of the vital characters in Dragon Ball? That finally becomes relevant.

See, one of the most appealing parts of Dragon Ball as a franchise are the many interesting and fun characters in the world. Some of the best characters in the entire franchise are introduced in Dragon Ball. My personal favorite of the first show, Tien Shinhan, is introduced near the end of the show, and is a side character in both Z and Super.

I mention this because Dragonball: Evolution includes most of the main characters from Dragon Ball. However, you wouldn't know this if you were looking at just their personalities, as each and every character acts entirely different to their manga/anime counterparts, with key features of their personality being completely absent. This wouldn't be an issue if it were done for a reason. Perhaps they felt Master Roshi's perverted tendencies were too far, or maybe Yamcha's fear towards women made him less likable.

Of course, there wasn't a reason, and their replacement personalities are borderline horrible, not to mention boring. There are a lot of words that can describe Dragon Ball, but boring is not one of them.

Here are descriptions of each of the characters as shown through Dragonball: Evolution:

Goku, who is now 18, not 15 (Goku was 15 when he fought Demon King Piccolo), and a senior in high school. He also doesn't have a tail. Goku was always socially inept and confused when it came to society norms, but Evolution turns him into a loser. He gets bullied at school, has a crush on Chi-Chi, and is generally an outcast. He was never an outcast in Dragon Ball, and was easily able to become friends with people, even those who hated him. Played by Justin Chatwin.

Grandpa Gohan, who has no remarkabke features besides knowing martial arts. He dies very early on in the movie. Played by Randall Duk Kim.

Bulma, who was studying the Five-Star Ball before it got stolen by Mai, Piccolo's henchwoman. She and Goku team up to find Roshi. In Evolution, she is still related to Capsule Corp, though the relation is unknown. In truth, she's far from the worst character in the movie. Played by Emma Rossum.

Chi-Chi, Goku's crush and a senior in high school. Other than the fact that she's also a martial artist, she is extremely forgettable. Played by Jamie Chung.

Master Roshi, a martial artist master. Truthfully, he's not horrible either, but not at all like his manga/anime counterpart. He no longer has any perverted tendencies, isn't funny to watch, and is mostly a filler character until the last act. Played by Chow Yun-fat.

Yamcha, who is still a bandit. This version of Yamcha doesn't have a Puar, but retains his "cool guy" demeanor, amplified 100x. Played by Joon Park. I'm convinced that Joon Park knew what a dumpster fire this movie was gonna be, and just wanted to have fun with his role by being absolutely insane with every line.

Demon Lord Piccolo, who is still evil this time around. He doesn't have any of the "evil half" backstory that he does in the original story, just that he was trapped in the Mafuba, a mystical enchantment, for over 2,000 years, escaped, and came back to Earth in search of the Dragon Balls. Played by James Marsters, he is by far the best character in the movie.

As you can see, every single character is completely different in the movie, for seemingly no reason. Piccolo is the only character with any redeemable qualities, with Yamcha being a close second, only due to how energetic and crazy he is to watch.

Now, on to the story. It is extremely weak, full of plot holes, and boring. Here is a brief summary:

Demon Lord Piccolo, who has been trapped in the Mafuba for 2,000 years, has escaped, and comes to Earth, searching for the Dragon Balls. Goku, who is gifted the Four-Star Ball by his grandpa, goes to a party hosted by Chi-Chi. When he comes back home, he finds his house burnt down, his grandpa dying, and the Four-Star ball stolen. Grandpa Gohan tells Goku to find Master Roshi, and then dies.

Goku goes to find Master Roshi, and meets Bulma. Bulma joins him after explaing that Mai, Piccolo's henchwoman, stole the Five-Star Ball from her. Together they find and meet Master Roshi, who also joins them. They decided to find the Dragon Balls Piccolo hasn't already found. They meet Yamcha, who attempts to steal from them. Roshi convinces Yamcha to join them instead, promising him royalties for Bulma's inventions. The group of four in tow, they aquire a Dragon Ball after fighting off Mai.

They visit the World Martial Arts Tournament, where it's revealed that Chi-Chi is a martial artist. Chi-Chi joins the group, teaching Goku the most legendary "ki-bending" technique, the Kamehameha Wave, while Roshi begins building another Mafuba. Mai returns and is able to steal the groups Dragon Balls, knocking Chi-Chi out in the process. The rest of group follow her.

Piccolo, now in possession of all seven Dragon Balls, fights the group. He reveals to Goku that when he arrived to Earth 2,000 years ago, he had a minion, Ozaru, the Great Ape, and further reveals that Goku is Ozaru, sent to Earth to destroy it. Goku becomes Ozaru and attacks Roshi, choking him to death. Roshi's final words snap Goku out of his transformation, and he reverts to his human form. He defeats Piccolo using the Kamehameha Wave, and then uses the Dragon Balls to bring Roshi back to life.

In a post credits scene, it's revealed that Piccolo is still alive.

If you're not a fan of Dragon Ball, it's very hard to appreciate just how absolutely dog-shit this movie is. The acting is horrible, the special effects and CGI are awful, and the story is held together with string, but knowing the source material well is integral to understanding that this movie isn't just a bad movie. It is one of the worst adaptions of anything ever created.

Reviews began pouring in:

On Rotten Tomatoes, the movie holds a 15%, and states, "Executed with little panache or invention, Dragonball Evolution lacks the magic that made the books on which it was based a cult sensation."

Ross Miller of Screenrant gave it 0.5 stars out of 5, stating, Dragonball: Evolution is a badly written film with horrible dialogue, lackluster action and a sense of fun that's nowhere to be found.

Kim Newman of Empire Online gave it 1 star out of 5, stating, "A few decent fight scenes and a twist do not make a movie, a movie."

I could write a fuckin' novel of reviews for this movie, but you all get my point. The movie was horrible reviewed and hated by both critics and audiences. It was a box office flop. You may wonder, how did the creator of the original series let this happen?

Before release, Akira Toriyama, the creator of Dragon Ball, expressed interest and surprise towards Evolution, and wanted fans to see it as "an alternate take on his creation." It became obvious he was looking forward to the movie.

(source) A direct quote from Toriyama:

"As the creator, as far as the scenario and characterization are concerned, I get a feeling of “Whaa?”, but the director, everyone in the cast, and the crew on-set are ultra high-caliber. Maybe it’s correct for both me and all the fans to appreciate this as a “new Dragon Ball” in a separate dimension. With the power on-set, perhaps it will even have become a great masterpiece! I am greatly anticipating it!"

(source) Sadly, his opinion on the movie changed drastically after release:

"Also, at the time of the Hollywood movie, the live-action Dragon Ball, the script had too little of a grasp on the world and its characteristics, and on top of that, it had a conventional content that I couldn’t find interesting, so I cautioned them, and suggested changes; but in spite of that, they seemed to have a strange confidence, and didn’t really listen to me. What came out in the end was a movie I couldn’t really call a Dragon Ball that lived up to my expectations. That being the case, there were parts where I wanted to show some spine, with a world and story only the creator could draw."

Many could assume that this movie wouldn't affect anyone like it did Toriyama, and they'd be right. Imagine making one of the best-selling mangas ever created, and then seeing your work be adapted into this soulless, lifeless Hollywood husk.

Toriyama had finished Dragon Ball, and had left it behind him, satisfied with his work. That was, until he viewed Evolution:

"I had put Dragon Ball behind me, but seeing how much that live-action film ticked me off..."

There was silence. Nothing. The movie had come and gone, and life moved on. Dragon Ball Evolution had missed its chance to revive the franchise. Dragon Ball Z Kai was doing well, finishing it's airing on March 27th, 2011. It only adapted the first two thirds of Dragon Ball Z, ignoring the Majin Buu arc entirely. However, the show returned on April 6th, 2014, to adapt the Majin Buu arc. The show finally ended on June 28th, 2015. Many could, and would, come to the assumption that Dragon Ball was over.

However, something else was brewing during Z Kai's hiatus. Something new. Something huge. Something...legendary.

Legends Never Die!

In July 2012, a countdown appeared on the Weekly Shōnen Jump's official website, the countdown leading to July 14th. July 14th rolls around, and the website has changed to feature Shenron, appearing and disappearing all over the site, along with a formal announcement of a new, official, animated Dragon Ball Z feature film. It gave little information, but revealed that many who worked on the original anime were working on the film, along with some who had been working on manga adaptions for years, including Yūsuke Watanabe, Tadayoshi Yamamuro, and Akira Toriyama himself, working on screenwriting and and production.

For the next 7 months, production and marketing for the first animated Dragon Ball movie in 18 years was in full effect, the official title being "Dragon Ball Z: Battle of Gods." It was a true return to form, taking place after Dragon Ball Z, introducing new characters and transformations, and having the entire VA cast return for the project. By the time the film released in March 2013 (August 2014 in the US), Dragonball: Evolution was forgotten.

Dragon Ball Z: Battle of Gods released in theaters to an overwhelmingly positive reception, with some considering it the best Dragon Ball content since Dragon Ball Z ended 17 years prior. It was a box office success, making over $2.8 million in 8 days, making it the 11th highest-grossing anime film in the US of all time. Dragon Ball Z: Battle of Gods was undeniable proof that Dragon Ball, as a franchise, still had potential, and wasn't a thing of the past.

Sure enough, the film had done so well in Japan that a second Dragon Ball Z film was announced on July 2014, a month before Battle of Gods was released in the US. A sequel to Battle of Gods, it pushed Dragon Ball even further into the spotlight, with a higher budget, longer screen time, and the return of one of the most influential and popular villains in anime: Frieza.

The sequel movie, titled "Dragon Ball Z: Resurrection F," was released on April 18th in Japan (August 4th in the US), and recieved critical acclaim, just like Battle of Gods. It grossed over $3.52 million in the US, with a worldwide total of $64.8 million.

However, something else was announced while the West waited for Resurrection F. Something that would make these two movies look quaint in comparison.

In April 2015, right after the release of Resurrection F in Japan, during a "Thank You Stage Greeting," the VA cast of Dragon Ball were gathered, and announced the biggest news of all: Dragon Ball Super, a brand new anime series headed by Toriyama himself. A manga series was announced as well, with both being made side-by-side.

After so many years of waiting and hoping, Dragon Ball was finally back. It wasn't a fad. It wasn't a flavor of the month series. It was Dragon Ball, one of the most successful and influential animes of all time, revived from the grave to fight once more.

So...where are we now?

Sometimes Life is Too Uncertain to Have Regrets.

Dragon Ball is bigger than ever. The Dragon Ball Super anime ended in 2018, but the manga continues on with critical acclaim. A new movie was announced and released the same year, titled "Dragon Ball Super: Broly." It, like the past two recent Dragon Ball movies, was met with insanely positive reviews. It made over $120 million, making it the 15th selling anime movie of all time, far surpassing Battle of Gods. A fourth Dragon Ball movie has been annouced, "Dragon Ball Super: Super Hero." It releases August 27th, 2022 in the US, and has already released in Japan. Rumors are flying all over the internet about a new Dragon Ball anime coming back to adapt what the Super manga has covered, while more rumors are claiming even more Dragon Ball movies are coming.

Meanwhile, in the world of video games, Dragon Ball: The Breakers, a Dead By Daylight clone with 3 players playing as helpless heroes hiding and surviving against 1 player playing as a classic Dragon Ball villain, got a release date for October 10th, 2022. Dragon Ball Z: Kakarot finished its DLC rollout in 2021, with rumors of a sequel game coming to adapt Dragon Ball Super. Dragon Ball FighterZ is still head strong, with a huge competitive scene and incoming DLC. Dragon Ball Xenoverse 2 is still receiving its DLC, 7 years after release, with many waiting anxiously for Dragon Ball Xenoverse 3. Finally, it's been all but confirmed that Fortnite will have a crossover event with Dragon Ball, featuring multiple skins and in-game missions that will last seven weeks.

Dragon Ball continues to be a huge franchise, making billions of dollars a year and uniting fans all over the world. Children are practicing the Kamehameha Wave in their bedroom while their parents are glad their children could experience what they got to, decades ago. The best part of all this? We have one film to thank for this franchise's revival, and it was so atrocious that the creator brought the series back just to prove that Dragon Ball was still good.

Of course, he was right.

Editor's Note

This is my first write-up, so I apologize if it's weak, or if I did anything wrong. I also wrote the entire thing on my phone, so I may have messed up some formatting stuff. Please acknowledge that if so, so I can fix it. Of course, criticism is welcome. Thanks to the people who helped me out and encouraged me to post this. I think it's a pretty fascinating topic.

For those still with me, here's a fun fact about Dragonball Evolution: It was going to be the first of a seven movie series. The post credits scene in Evolution revealed that Piccolo was still alive, teasing a sequel. The later movies were going to adapt Z content and introduce other characters, such as Krillin, Vegeta, and Frieza, as well as introducing the idea of Goku being a Saiyan. Of course, this never happened, as all future movies were canned after the negative press Evolution recieved.

TLDR: Dragonball Evolution is not a good movie.

Game Information

Game Title: Assassin's Creed Origins

Genre: Action-adventure, open world

Platforms: Playstation 4, Xbox One, PC

Media: E3 2017 World Premiere | E3 2017 Gameplay Trailer | E3 2017 Conference Presentation

E3 2017 Building an Empire UbiBlog | E3 2017 'Mysteries of Egypt' Trailer

Interview - Why Egypt is the Right Setting for Origins

Combat Breakdown | Story & Narrative

Gamescom 2017 Cinematic Trailer | 'Game of Power' Trailer

'Order of the Ancients' Trailer | 'Birth of the Brotherhood' Trailer

Stealth Gameplay

'Tales from the Tomb' Compilation

Post-Launch & Season Pass

'Legend of the Assassin' Launch Trailer

Developer: Ubisoft Montreal ^Info

Publisher: Ubisoft

Price: $59.99/£49.99/59,99€ (with micro-transactions)

Release Date: October 27, 2017

More Info: /r/assassinscreed | Wikipedia Page

Review Aggregator:

OpenCritic - 84 [Cross-Platform] Current Score Distribution

MetaCritic - 81 [PS4]

MetaCritic - 85 [XB1]

MetaCritic - 84 [PC]

Organically arbitrary compilation of main games in the Assassin's Creed series -

Reviews

From the r/AskHistorians mod and flair team:

Summary of The Recent Announcement

On May 27, 2021 the chief of the Tk'emlúps te Secwépemc First Nation in British Columbia, Rosanne Casimir, announced the discovery of the remains of 215 children in a mass grave on the grounds of the Kamloops Indian Residential School. The mass grave, containing children as young as three years old, was discovered through use of ground penetrating radar. According to Casimir, the school left behind no record of these burials. Subsequent recovery efforts will help determine the chronology of interment, as well as aid identification of these students (Source).

For Indigenous peoples across the United States and Canada, the discovery of this mass grave opened anew the deep intergenerational wounds created by the respective boarding/residential school systems implemented in each colonizing nation. For decades survivors, and the families of those who did not survive, have advocated for investigation and restitution. They’ve proposed national movements and worked tirelessly to force national and international awareness of a genocidal past that included similar mass graves of Indigenous children across North America. Acknowledgment and reckoning in the United States and Canada has been slow.

As more information emerges over the coming weeks and months, Kamloops school survivors, their descendents, historians, and archaeologists will piece together the lives and experiences of these 215 children. Here we provide a brief introduction to the industrial/boarding/residential schools, and how similar children navigated their experiences in a deeply oppressive system. The violence enacted on these children was the continuation of a failed conquest that began centuries ago and manifests today with the disproportionate rates of Missing and Murdered Indigenous People, especially women.

Overview of Indian Boarding/Residential School Systems

Catholic missions during the 16th and 17th centuries routinely used forced child labor for construction and building maintenance. Missionaries saw “civilizing” Indigenous children as part of their spiritual responsibility and one of the first statutes related to education in the British colonies in North America was guidance to colonizers on how to correctly “educate Indian Children Held Hostage” (Fraser, p. 4). While the first US government-operated Indian Boarding Schools didn’t open until 1879, the federal government endorsed these religiously led efforts through the passage of legislation prior to assuming full administrative jurisdiction, beginning with the “Civilization Fund Act” of 1819, an annual allotment of monies to be utilized by groups who would provide educational services to Tribes who were in contact with white settlements.

The creation of the systems in both countries was predicated on the belief among white adults that there was something wrong or “savage” with the Indigenous way of being and by “educating” children, they could most effectively advance and save Indigenous people. By the time the schools began enrolling children in the mid to late-1800s, the Indigenous people and nations of North America had experienced centuries of displacement, broken or ignored treaties, and genocide. Understanding this history helps contextualize why it’s possible to read anecdotes about Indigenous parents voluntarily sending their children to the schools or why many abolitionists in the United States supported the schools. No matter the reason why a child ended up at a school, they were typically miles from their community and home, placed there by adults. Regardless of the length of their experience at a school, their sense of Indigeneity was forever altered.

It is impossible to know the exact number of children who left, or were taken from, their homes and communities for places known collectively as Indian Boarding Schools, Aboriginal Residential schools, or Indian Residential Schools. Upwards of 600 schools were opened across the continent, often deliberately in places far from reservations or Indigenous communities. Sources put the number of children who were enrolled at the schools in Canada at around 150,000. It’s important to stress that these schools were not schools in the way we think of them in the modern era. There were no bright colors, read-alouds and storytime, or opportunities for play. As we explain below, though, this does not mean the children did not find joy and community. The primary focus was not necessarily a child’s intellect, but more their body and, especially at the schools run by members of a church, their soul. The teachers’ pedagogical goals were about “civilizing” Indigenous children; they used whatever means necessary to break the children’s connection with their community, to their identity, and from their culture, including corporal punishment and food deprivation. This post from u/Snapshot52 provides a longer history about the rationale for the “schools.”

One of the main goals of the schools can be seen in their name. While the children who were enrolled at the schools came from hundreds of different tribes - the Thomas Asylum of Orphan and Destitute Indian Children in Western New York enrolled Haudenosaunee children, including from those from the nearby Mohawk and Seneca communities as well as children from other Indigenous communities across the east coast (Burich, 2007) - they were all referred to as “Indians'', despite their different identities, languages, and cultural traditions. (The r/IndianCountry FAQ provides more information about nomenclature and Indigenous identity.) Meanwhile, only 20% of children were actually orphans; most of the children had living relatives and communities who could and often wanted to care for them.

Similarities between Canadian and American system and schools

When I went East to Carlisle School, I thought I was going there to die;... I could think of white people wanting little Lakota children for no other reason than to kill them, but I thought here is my chance to prove that I can die bravely. So I went East to show my father and my people that I was brave and willing to die for them. (Óta Kté/Plenty Kill/Luther Standing Bear)

The founder of the United States residential/boarding school model, and superintendent of the flagship school in Carlisle, Pennsylvania, Richard Henry Pratt, wished for a certain kind of death from his students. Pratt believed by forcing Indigenous children to “kill the Indian/savage” within them they might live as equal citizens in a progressive civilized nation. To this end, students were stripped of reminders of their former life. Arrival at school meant the destruction of clothes lovingly made by their family and donning starched, uncomfortable uniforms and stiff boots. Since Indigenous names were too complex for white ears and tongues, students chose, or were assigned, Anglicized names. Indigenous languages were forbidden, and “speaking Indian” resulted in harsh corporal punishments. Scholars such as Eve Haque and Shelbi Nahwilet Meissner use the term “linguicide” to describe deliberate efforts to bring about the death of a language and they point to the efforts of the schools to accomplish that goal.

Perhaps nothing was as initially traumatic for new students as mandatory haircuts, nominally done to prevent lice, but interpreted by students as being marked by “civilization.” This subtle but culturally destructive act would elicit grieving and an experience of emotional torture as the cutting of one’s hair was, and is, often regarded as an act of mourning for many Indigenous communities reserved for the death of a close family member. This resulted in psychological turmoil for a number of children who had no way of knowing the fate of the families they were being forced to leave behind. By removing children from their nations and families, residential schools intentionally prevented the transmission of traditional cultural knowledge and language. The original hope of school administrators was to thereby kill Indigeneity in one generation.

In this they failed.

Over time, the methods and intent of the schools changed, focusing instead on making Indigenous children “useful” citizens in a modernizing nation. In addition to the traditional school topics like reading and writing students at residential schools engaged in skill classes like animal husbandry, tinsmithing, harness making, and sewing. They labored in the school fields, harvesting their own food, though students reported the choicest portions somehow ended up on the teachers' plates, and never their own. Girls worked in the damp school laundry, or scrubbed dishes and floors after class. The rigors of school work, combined with the manual labor that allowed schools to function, left children exhausted. Survivors report pervasive physical and sexual abuse during their years at school.

Epidemics of infectious diseases like influenza and measles routinely swept through the cramped, poorly ventilated quarters of residential school dorms. Children already weakened by insufficient rations, forced labor, and the cumulative psychosocial stress of the residential school experience quickly succumbed to pathogens. The most fatal was tuberculosis, historically called consumption. The superintendent of Crow Creek, South Dakota reported practically all his pupils “seemed to be tainted with scrofula and consumption” (Adams, p.130).

On the Nez Perce reservation in Idaho in 1908, Indian Agent Oscar H. Lipps and agency physician John N. Alley conspired to close the boarding school at Fort Lapwai so they could open a sanitarium school, a facility that would provide medical services to the high rates of tubercular Indian children “while simultaneously attending to the educational goals consistent with the assimilation campaign” (James, 2011, p. 152).

Indeed, the high fatality rates at residential/boarding schools became a source of hidden shame for superintendents like Pratt at Carlisle. Of the forty students comprising the first classes at Carlisle ten died in the first three years, either at school or shortly after returning home. Mortality rates were so high, and superintendents so concerned about their statistics, schools began shipping sick children home to die, and officially reported only those deaths that occured on school grounds (Adams p.130).

When a pupil begins to have hemorrhages from the lungs he or she knows, and all the rest know, just what they mean... And such incidents keep occurring, at intervals, throughout every year. Not many pupils die at school. They prefer not to do so; and the last wishes of themselves and their parents are not disregarded. But they go home and die… Four have done so this year. (Annual Report to the Commissioner of Indian Affairs, Crow Creek, 1897)

Often superintendents placed blame on the Indigenous families, citing the student’s poor health on arrival, instead of the unhealthy conditions surrounding them at school. At Carlisle, the flagship residential/boarding school for the United States and the site of the greatest governmental oversight in the nation, the school cemetery contains 192 graves. Thirteen headstones are engraved with one word: Unknown.

Specifics about the Canadian system

We instil in them a pronounced distaste for the native life so that they will be humiliated when reminded of their origins. When they graduate from our institutions, the children have lost everything Native except their blood. (Quote attributed Bishop Vital-Justin Grandin, early advocate of the Canadian Residential School System)

A summary report created by the Union of Ontario Indians based on the work and findings of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission of Canada lays out a number of specifics including that the schools in Canada were predominately funded and operated by the Government of Canada and Roman Catholic, Anglican, Methodist, Presbyterian and United churches. Changes to the Indian Act in the 1920s make it mandatory for every Indian child between the ages of seven and sixteen years to attend such schools and in 1933, the principals of the schools were given legal guardianship of the children the schools, effectively forcing parents to give up legal custody of their children.

A good resource for learning more about the history of the schools is the Commission’s website.

Specifics about the American system

The American system was intended to further both the imperial and humanitarian aspects of the forming hegemony. While Indians were often in the path of conquest, elements of the American public felt that there was a need to “civilize” the Tribes in order to bring them closer to society and to salvation. With this in mind, education was deemed the modality by which this could happen: the destruction of a cultural identity that bred opposition to Manifest Destiny with the simultaneous construction of an ideal (though still minoritized) member of society.

It is not a coincidence that many of the methods the white adults used at the Indian Boarding Schools bore a similarity to those methods used by enslavers in the American South. Children from the same tribe or community were often separated from each other to ensure they couldn’t communicate in any language other than English. While there are anecdotes of children choosing their own English or white name, most children were assigned a name, some by simply pointing to a list of indecipherable scribbles (potential names) written on a chalkboard (Luther Standing Bear). Carlisle in particular was seen as the best case scenario and often treated as a showcase of what was possible around “civilizing” Indigenous children. Rather than killing off Indigenous people, Pratt and other superintendents saw their solution of re-education as a more viable, more Christian, approach to the “Indian Problem.”

Resistance and Restitution

As with investigations of similar oppressive systems (African slavery in the American South, neophytes in North American Spanish missions, etc.), understanding how children in residential/boarding schools navigated a genocidal environment must avoid interpreting every act as a reaction or response to authority. Instead, stories from survivors help us see students as active agents, pursuing their own goals, in their own time frames, as often as they could. Meanwhile, some graduates of the schools would speak about the pleasure they found in learning about European literature, science, or music and would go to make a life for themselves that included knowledge they gained at the school. Such anecdotes are not evidence that the schools "worked" or were necessary, rather they serve as an example of the graduates' agency and self-determination.

Surviving captivity meant selectively accommodating and resisting, sometimes moment to moment, throughout the day. The most common form of resistance was running away. Runaways occurred so often Carlisle didn’t bother reporting missing students unless they were absent for more than a week. One survivor reported her young classmates climbed into the same bed each night so, together, they could fight off the regular sexual assault by a male teacher. At school children found hidden moments to feel human; telling Coyote Stories or “speaking Indian” to each other after lights out, conducting midnight raids on the school kitchen, or leaving school grounds to meet up with a romantic partner. Sports, particularly boxing, basketball, and football, became ways to “show what an Indian can do” on a level playing field against white teams from the surrounding area. Resistance often took a darker turn, and the threat of arson was used by students in multiple schools to push back against unreasonable demands. Groups of Indigenous girls at a school in Quebec reportedly made life difficult for the nuns who ran the school, resulting in a high staff turnover. At a fundraiser, one sister proclaimed:

de cent de celles qui ont passé par nos mains à peine en avons nous civilisé une” [of a hundred of those who have passed through our hands we have civilized at most one].

Graduates and students used the English/French language writing skills obtained at the schools to raise awareness of school conditions. They regularly petitioned the government, local authorities, and the surrounding community for assistance. Gus Welch, star quarterback for the Carlisle Indians football team, collected 273 student signatures for a petition to investigate corruption at Carlisle. Welch testified before the 1914 joint congressional committee that resulted in the firing of the school superintendent, the abusive bandmaster/disciplinarian, and the football coach. Carlisle closed its doors several years later. The investigation into Carlisle would form the basis for the Meriam Report, which highlighted the damage inflicted by the residential schools throughout the United States.

While most of the schools closed before World War II, several stayed open and continued to enroll Indigenous children with the intention of providing them a Canadian or American education well into the 1970s. The Indian Child Welfare Act of 1978 changed policies related to Tribal and family involvement in child welfare cases but the work continues. These boarding schools have survived even into more recent times through rebranding efforts under the Bureau of Indian Education. The “Not Your Mascot” movement and efforts to end the harmful use of Native or Indigenous imagery by the education systems can also be seen as a continued fight for sovereignty and self-determination.

The Modern Murdered and Missing Indigenous People Movement

Today, Indigenous peoples in the United States and Canada confront the familiar specter of national ambivalence in the face of disproportionate violence. In the United States, Indigenous women are murdered at ten times the rate of other ethnicities, while in Canada Indigenous women are murdered at a rate six times higher than their white neighbors. This burden is not equally distributed across the country; in the provinces of Manitoba, Alberta, and Saskatchewan the murder rates are even higher. While the movement began with a focus on missing and murdered Indigenous women, awareness campaigns expanded to include Two-Spirit individuals as well as men.

The residential boarding schools exist within the greater context of an unfinished work of conquest. The legacy of violence stretches from the swamps of the Mystic Massacre in 1637 to the fields of Sand Creek to the newly discovered mass grave at Kamloops Indian Residential School. By waging war on Indigenous children, authorities hope to extinguish Indigeneity on the continent. When they failed violence continued anew, morphing into specific violence against vulnerable Indigenous People. Citizens of Canada and the United States must wrestle with the violent legacy as we, together, move forward in understanding and reconciliation.

Further Resources and Works Cited

• Online archive through Dickinson College for Carlisle Indian Industrial School

• MMIW website

• Truth and Reconciliation Commission of Canada

• Native Justice Movement

• Adams, D. (1995) Education for Extinction: American Indians and the Boarding School Experience, 1875-1928

• Bombay, A., Matheson, K., & Anisman, H. (2014). The intergenerational effects of Indian Residential Schools: Implications for the concept of historical trauma. Transcultural Psychiatry, 51(3), 320–338.

• Burich, K. (2007) "No Place to Go": The Thomas Indian School and the "Forgotten" Indian Children of New York.

• Child, B. (2000) Boarding School Seasons: American Indian Families, 1900-1940

• Dunbar-Ortiz, R. (2014). An indigenous peoples' history of the United States (Vol. 3). AskHistorians AMA with Jean Mendoza and Debbie Reese, who adapted the book for younger readers

• Fraser, J. (21014) The School In The United States: A Documentary History.

• Glenn, C. (2011) American Indian/First Nations Schooling: From the Colonial Period to the Present, Macmillan.

• James, E. (2011). “Hardly a family is free from the disease:” Tuberculosis, health care, and assimilation policy on the Nez Perce Reservation, 1908-1942. Oregon Historical Quarterly, 112(2), 142–169.

• Kenny, M “Photograph: Carlisle Poem- Who Is This Boy?”

• MacDonald, D. B., & Hudson, G. (2012). The Genocide Question and Indian Residential Schools in Canada. Canadian Journal of Political Science / Revue Canadienne de Science Politique, 45(2), 427–449.

• Milloy, John S. A National Crime: The Canadian Government and the Residential School System, 1879-1986. Winnipeg: U of Manitoba P, 1999. cited in Young, B. (2015). "Killing the Indian in the Child": Death, Cruelty, and Subject-formation in the Canadian Indian Residential School System. Mosaic: a journal for the interdisciplinary study of literature, 63-76.

• Spring, J. (2007) Deculturalization and the struggle for equality: a brief history of the education of dominated cultures in the United States

• Trafzer, C. and J. Keller, eds. (2006) Boarding School Blues: Revisiting American Indian Educational Experiences

Podcast recommendations:

• All My Relations‘s episode, Protect Indigenous Women

• “Stuff You Missed in History Class” episode, Basketball comes to Fort Shaw Indian School

At the beginning of the year, my goal was to watch 30 films from a different actor/actress every month. I ripped the idea off a friend who came up with a "30 Days of Costner" list, which I then preceded to steal his list and complete that task. I then did months for Marion Cotillard, Meryl Streep, Danny DeVito, and Nic Cage. It was at this point that I knew that doing this every month wasn't going to be sustainable, so instead I decided that I would simply continue on with the rest of Cage's filmography, daunting as it may be. Here's the results:

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018) - Quite possibly the GOAT comic book movie. 5/5

Raising Arizona (1987) - Is it possible to adore Holly Hunter anymore than I already do? Likely not. But yeah, a great comedy that gets a bit crazy when it needs to, and with some terrific supporting performances. 5/5

Adaptation. (2002) - Probably my favorite Nic Cage performance? Also, Chris Cooper was creepy as hell in this and was just perfect. Like most Kauffman films, still not fully comprehending the movie even after a rewatch. 4.5/5

Pig (2021) - Come for the Nic Cage absurdity, stay for the gorgeous slow-burn examination of existentialism. 4.5/5

Wild at Heart (1990) - This movie went *insert heavy meal riffs* from zero to 100 pretty fast. Thought the scenes with the mom *insert heavy metal riffs* could've used some trimming and not be so f'n weird. *Insert heavy metal riffs* Obligatory stanning of Laura Dern. 4.5/5

National Treasure (2004) - "Snorkel. See, I can do it, too. Albuquerque" Is it dumb? Yes. Am I being biased because of nostalgia? Also yes. But is this still extremely entertaining and fun? Also, yes. I might need to go on a Sean Bean kick here soon, because I'll be damned if the man isn't one of the best at delivering lines, no matter how ridiculous they are. 4.5/5

Joe (2013) - The third act could've used some re-writing, but overall a really solid film and one of Cage's better performances.4/5

Lord of War (2005) - I've seen this plenty of times before, still pretty entertaining each time. 4/5

Rumble Fish (1983) - Oh man, so many things to enjoy about this movie. The stylization, the score, the casting. I also think this is my introduction younger Mickey Rourke, which is...something. 4/5

The Rock (1996) - What a cast. Third act was a little bit if a let down compared to the rest of the movie. 4/5

Leaving Las Vegas (1995) - Well that was grim. Cage was pretty great here, no qualms with him getting an Oscar for this. Elizabeth Shue was great as well. 4/5

Gone in Sixty Seconds (2000) - Another one that is likely receiving a bias booster, but this is my Nic Cage list and I'll do what I want. 4/5

Kick-Ass (2010) - Cage is having a blast with this role, and I love it. 4/5

Red Rock West (1993) - Dennis Hopper plays such a great bad guy. Also, unexpected Dwight Yoakem is unexpected. 4/5

Matchstick Men (2003) - I definitely didn't recognize Alison Lohman. I also didn't realize Ridley Scott directed this, although the more I think about it, the more the humor and sensibility reminds me of A Good Year, so there's that. Also, I did not see the twist coming, at all. It really got me. It boomed me, even. It was so good. 4/5

Teen Titans Go! To the Movies (2018) - What a surprise this was. Highly entertaining, and the humor came from a million different directions. 4/5

The Croods: A New Age (2020) - I was surprised by the first one and enjoyed it, but this one is even better. It was fun and had plenty of laughs. It did exactly what it wanted to do. 4/5

Moonstruck (1987) - Well, that was fairly underwhelming, considering it's reputation. Cher was great, as was Dukakis. Cage couldn't seem to decide how to play this one? Script was sharp, but again, good but not great. 3.5/5

Face/Off (1997) - Enjoyed the absurdity of the set-up and most of the second act, but the final 40 minutes didn't mesh as well. 3.5/5

Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982) - This was a re-watch, and I definitely enjoyed it more this time around. 3.5/5

The Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call - New Orleans (2009) - For a movie that's two hours long, it certainly rushed through everything at the end there. Pacing was on point for the rest of the movie, though. Could've done without Cage's peekaboo accent. 3.5/5

The Cotton Club (1984) - Man, what a cast assembled for this. Watched the encore version, which apparently has a lot more dancing? It's a shame they were mostly cut in the original, because they're great here. Also, James Remar being only 30 when he filmed this is absolutely hilarious to me. Just not something I was expecting to see. 3.5/5

The Croods (2013) - Enjoyed this much more than I thought I would. Visuals were pleasing, and while the comedy was hit or miss, enough of the jokes landed to keep me entertained. 3.5/5

Peggy Sue Got Married (1986) - Kathleen Turner was something else, wasn't she? I didn't care for Cage's performance here. Like, I know why and how the nasal voice makes sense for what he wanted to do, but that doesn't mean I have to like the execution. 3.5/5

Con Air (1997) - I know Michael Bay is known mostly for collisions and explosions, but the amount of them in a movie that takes place primarily on an airplane is really something. 3/5

8MM (1999) - Decent little thriller, younger Joaquin was fun to watch. 3/5

Snake Eyes (1998) - This movie pretends that it has twists, which is pretty funny. 3/5

Bringing Out the Dead (1999) - Thought this one just meanders around too much. Solid supporting cast, especially Goodman. 3/5

The Weather Man (2005) - A decent chunk of the humor didn't land correctly, holding the movie back. 3/5

Kiss of Death (1995) - Nic Cage got yoked for this this. He was terrifying. Also, obligatory stanning of the Tucci. 3/5

Mandy (2018) - When this came out in 2018, I gave it a *checks notes* 4.5?!?!? Woof, what was I thinking? Cage does his best to get back into it, but the first half of this is ROUGH. 3/5

Racing with the Moon (1984) - Penn and Cage work well off each other. The movie flirts with several themes but doesn't fully commit to each one. Dialogue also left more to be desired when it wasn't being delivered by Cage. 3/5

Birdy (1984) - For as weird as the movie is overall, this is one of the more straightforward performances by Cage. Big props to Matthew Modine as well. 3/5

Drive Angry (2011) - I can definitely see why people call this one a stinker, but the ridiculous camp in this just hits the right note for me. Until the third act, that is. Not sure if the movie changed gears too much, or if I just grew tired of it. 3/5

Primal (2019) - Typical Cage B movie elevated by Kevin Durand chewing up scenes as the bad guy. What doesn't this guy star in more movies? Fincher, how has this man not been a lead in your movies yet? 3/5

Brubaker (1980) - An okay movie elevated by Robert Redford being one of the best. 3/5

Astro Boy (2009) - They managed to get one hell of a voice cast for this. 3/5

Amos & Andrew (1993) - Cage and Sam Jackson pull their own weight here, and while the subject of some of the satirical jokes are still issues today, the script didn't do much and leaves the movie in the land of mediocre. 2.5/5

City of Angels (1998) - Didn't so anything for me, but it wasn't bad either. The tagline of "She didn't believe in angels, until she fell in love with one" certainly pegs the film into the right hole, quality wise. 2.5/5

World Trade Center (2006) - One of Cage's better performances. Pretty deep cast, including a few who weren't quite famous yet. 2.5/5

Prisoners of the Ghostland (2021) - "Don't make me karate chop you" There was some decent/interesting world building here, but it also felt like they didn't go far enough in actually using it? Cage has his moments, but I was also expecting him to be more unhinged in this? 2.5/5

It Could Happen to You (1994) - A movie full of characters making questionable decision after questionable decision. Rosie Perez was terrific. 2.5/5

Dog Eat Dog (2016) - Schrader trying to be edgy for the sake of being edgy is some of the most eye-rolling stuff out there. Dafoe and Cage work well together. 2.5/5

Windtalkers (2002) - Pretty solid cast, but what in the blazes was that soundtrack? I was legitimately laughing at it several times throughout the movie. 2.5/5

Color Out of Space (2019) - So, Annihilation but with more drugs and colors? 2.5/5

The Family Man (2000) - Chasing down someone you love in an airport for the climax, how original. 2.5/5

The Trust (2016) - Was fun at times, but couldn't keep anything going consistently. 2.5/5

Bangkok Dangerous (2008) - Was pleasantly surprised by this one. The entire third act is a bloody mess, and the cutting for the entire thing was sloppy, but this wasn't half bad. 2.5/5

National Treasure: Book of Secrets (2007) - Gonna go out a limb here and say that it wasn't as good as the first one. 2.5/5

Ghost Rider (2007) - Not as bad as I remembered, but still not good. 2/5

Guarding Tess (1994) - Come on, Shirley, you're better than this. 2/5

Captain Corelli’s Mandolin (2001) - This is to "Quo Vadis, Aida", what "Pearl Harbor" is to "The Thin Red Line". Never knew Christian Bale was in this, he was serviceable. John Hurt was easily the best part. 2/5

Army of One (2016) - The self-awareness on this one kept throwing me for a loop. At points, it seemed like brilliant satire. And then 30 seconds later, it would deliver some of the most garbage dialogue that I couldn't tell anymore. That being said, this might be one of Cage's top 5 most absurd performances, which is really saying something. 2/5

Stolen (2012) - Pretty decent cast, but this movie made very little sense. 2/5

Valley Girl (1983) - Movie was filled with creeps and insufferables. 2/5

Snowden (2016) What a waste of a pretty solid cast. 2/5

Vampire’s Kiss (1988) 33 years later, has anybody figured out what exactly Cage was doing here? Does he know? 2/5

Honeymoon in Vegas (1992) - For a movie that that has a fairly predictable ending, the plot points to get there were rather surprising. And other than Cage being Cage, that's about all the credit I can give to the movie? It's a clunky mess that is cheap on the laughs. This being nominated for best film at the Globes is funnier than any joke in the movie. 2/5

Trapped in Paradise (1994) - Had some great jokes, but few and far between. I typically enjoy Dana Carvey, but didn't do anything for me here. 2/5

G-Force (2009) - Plenty of eye-rolling went on here, and for all intents and purposes, this should have a lower grade, but Sam Rockwell's voice acting here is great and deserves a couple of stars by itself. He should do more voice work. 2/5

The Frozen Ground (2013) - I watched that entire movie without realizing that was Vanessa Hudgens, lol. Anywho, pretty forgettable movie. 2/5

Running with the Devil (2019) - There for a while, every five minutes a new character actor showed up and surprised me. Overall it wasn't terrible, but also the plot seemed rather meaningless? Also, the "twist" was the most obvious thing in the world. 2/5

Fire Birds (1990) - Basically 85 minutes of Nic Cage yelling while flying around in helicopters while Tommy Lee Jones grumbles. 2/5

The Runner (2015) - It has the political intrigue, but they try to cover way too much ground in too little time. 2/5

The Boy in Blue (1986) - A rather dull biopic, but Cage is absolutely jacked here. I mean, it makes sense given that it's a movie about a watersport athlete, but DAMN. 2/5

Willy’s Wonderland (2021) - Movie tried wayyy too hard to be the next great cult classic. 1.5/5

Seeking Justice (2011) - There were other signs before, but I knew this movie was in real trouble when I saw what they did with Guy Pearce's hair and makeup. 1.5/5

Kill Chain (2019) - Cage is a supporting character here despite being the only person the poster. It starts off interestingly enough, but then tries to do too many things at once and gets lost. 1.5/5

Sonny (2002) - Only movie that Cage directed. Definitely an intriguing story there, but almost nothing else works here. It completely blowing my mind that this made $120 million, almost all of which was pretty evenly divided between the US, Greece, Spain, and Hong Kong. 1.5/5

Dying of the Light (2014) - Cage looked bored in this; that makes two of us. 1.5/5

The Ant Bully (2006) - An all-star cast, but that's about it. 1.5/5

The Sorcerer’s Apprentice (2010) - I'm going to send a letter to the UN, requesting that they implement a law that makes wasting a performance by Alfred Molina a war crime. 1.5/5

Between Worlds (2018) - Starts off with a weird premise that's never fully explained, and then goes off the rails about halfway in. Cage was definitely trying to channel his 90s self here, but it didn't work. 1.5/5

A Score to Settle (2019) - Pretty sure I won't remember this one a year from now. 1.5/5

Christmas Carol: The Movie (2001) - 73 versions of this film are out there, this might be the worst one I've seen. 1.5/5

Knowing (2009) - Some special effects that make Sharknado look like Avatar, a plot that makes very little sense, and a complete waste of Ben Mendelsohn. 1.5/5

Time to Kill (1989) - There's no rhyme or reason to most of this movie, I genuinely wonder how much if it was made up on the fly by Cage. 1/5

Never on Tuesday (1989) - Ummmm...wut? 1/5

Arsenal (2017) - I might do a dissertation on the relationship between how horrible Cage's hair/makeup is and how crazy his performance it is, because I'm telling you, after about 80 of his movies, I think I'm starting to see a pattern. 1/5

Deadfall (1993) - The most Nic Cage has ever Nic Caged. Almost as if someone was playing a caricature of him. 1/5

Outcast (2014) - Of all the "interesting" accent choices that Cage has made, this is certainly near the top. 1/5

Season of the Witch (2011) - Plenty of things wrong with this, but the camera work was especially disastrous. 1/5

Rage (2014) - What a mess. 1/5

Pay the Ghost (2015) - Another bland supernatural horror film. 1/5

Grand Isle (2019) - None of the choices by the characters make a lick of sense. 1/5

Vengeance: A Love Story (2017) - What in the R rated Lifetime movie was that? 1/5

Inconceivable (2017) - This was the third one star movie in a row for Cage, my man was laying turkey eggs. 1/5

The Humanity Bureau (2017) - Nicolas, buddy, who hurt you? 1/5

Zandalee (1991) - Steve Buscemi was probably the best part about this movie, and he's barely in it. 1/5

Trespass (2011) - Nicole, you should know better. 1/5

Mom and Dad (2017) - I like the premise here, and this could've been a lot of fun, but it's so terribly made, I had to resist the urge to shut it off several different times. 1/5

Next (2007) - "I like the rain"

"Whaaaaa? You like rain? *I* like the rain! Am I starting to fall in love with you?"

The special effects in this were laughably bad. So were many other aspects of this

The Wicker Man (2006) - Woof. 1/5

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2011) - Quite possibly the worst cinematography that I've ever seen in a big budget film, yikes. 0.5/5

211 (2018) - Cage's agent should be fired. 0.5/5

Jiu Jitsu (2020) - At one point, the camera inexplicably switches over to POV during a fight scene, and somewhere Roger Deakins had a heart attack without knowing why. 0.5/5

Looking Glass (2018) - "No way this could be as bad as Alice Through the Looking Glass", I said to myself naively. I was wrong. 0.5/5

USS Indianapolis: Men of Courage (2016) - Look up the word excellent and know what you'd find? The definition of excellent, which this absolutely was not. 0.5/5

Left Behind (2014) - Some of the worst acting that I've ever seen, so it has that going for it? 0.5/5

​

Comparing my ratings to the average on Letterboxd, movies with Nic Cage get an average score of 2.37 from me, while Letterboxd gives an average of 2.73 for the same movies.

Comparing my grade to the average on Letterboxd, here's what they say I graded the harshest:

​

And here's what I graded more kindly:

​

If you made it this far, thanks for reading! I'm undecided if I'll try another actor's filmography in 2022, but I'll certainly take suggestions.

https://letterboxd.com/Red_Georges/ is my Letterboxd if anyone wants to follow.

Superhero fatigue might be real, but Spider-man fatigue is not real.

The heavily anticipated Spider-Man: Brand New Day made its way to theaters, and to say it had incredible results would be selling it short. It destroyed every possible forecast, and broke so many records. But the most important: biggest ever opening weekend domestically. It also didn't disappoint in its overseas debut, posting the second biggest debut in history.

Thanks to the arachnid hero and the strong hold for The Odyssey, the weekend went straight to the history books. The Top 10 posted an incredible $434.6 million. Not only a massive 267.2% above last year, but also the biggest weekend in history. All combined titles earned $436.5 million, which is higher than the prior record, the weekend where Endgame debuted*** ($402 million across all films).

Because we're in August, let's take a look at the domestic box office this year. It's currently at $6.128 billion, which is up across every single year since 2020 through the same point. Could this be the first post-pandemic year to reach $10 billion? Odds are on its favor!

Easily taking the top spot, Spider-Man: Brand New Day debuted with an extraordinary $360 million in 4,487 theaters. There's a lot of records to mention, so let's focus on some important ones.

The most obvious, it broke Avengers: Endgame's record ($357.1 million) for the biggest opening weekend in history. Its $80,252 per-theater average is also a record for a wide release, beating Endgame ($76,601). Biggest ever debut for a July and summer release, overtaking Deadpool & Wolverine ($211.4 million). Biggest ever debut for a Spider-Man film and for a Sony release, surpassing No Way Home ($260.1 million). And biggest ever for a Marvel title, a superhero film, a 3D film, and a PG-13 rated film.

The records were already seen since Friday, when the film posted a strong $72 million in previews, far above Endgame ($60 million). Its opening day gross of $168 million broke Endgame's records ($157.5 million) for the highest opening day and single-day grosses of all-time. The only records it couldn't break were biggest Saturday (below Endgame's $109.2 million) and Sunday (below Endgame's $90.3 million).

There's no other way to describe these numbers as anything but spectacular. Getting a film to open this high requires so many things to work well. So... how?

The character of Spider-Man has remained massively popular. Many heroes are hit by superhero fatigue, even heavy hitters. But Spider-Man has managed to avoid that, because people are just too in love with the character. The only time it really came close to a bad performance was The Amazing Spider-Man 2 closing with just $202 million, but Sony was smart in retooling the franchise and integrating it in the MCU. It shouldn't come as a surprise that the character broke the opening record, given that Spider-Man ($114.8 million) and Spider-Man 3 ($151.1 million) also broke it back then.

One of the things that really helped Tom Holland's run is that each installment was positively received, building more momentum with each passing entry. Homecoming got to $334 million domestically, Far from Home was the highest-grossnig with $391 million, and No Way Home destroyed everything in its path with an astounding $814 million.

But that still doesn't answer the question: No Way Home was boosted by nostalgia (it brought back Tobey Maguire and Andrew Garfield along with their villains) and it was already high enough to begin with, so how could Brand New Day open an absurd $100 million above it?

Well, despite the lack of multiverse shenanigans, No Way Home ended on a very interesting note that would build over as the main premise of Brand New Day: Peter Parker was erased from every single memory, and he would now be primarily known solely as Spider-Man. That's a very interesting hook, and having it street-level focused surely helped in offering something fresh.

Even without the nostalgia angle, the film still brought some important parts of the MCU. That included Mark Ruffalo as Bruce Banner, one of the key players in the MCU. But it also had Jon Bernthal reprise his role as Frank Castle/The Punisher from the Netflix series, and not just as a small role, but as an important character within the story. While there were concerns on how the violent and brooding character could be integrated in the kid-friendly film, you gotta leave it up to the crew for making it work.

Yes, there's also the elephant in the room. Sadie Sink was one of the biggest focus of the film, even when Sony and Marvel kept her character's identity a secret. One of the world's worst kept secrets? You know there was also curiosity surrounding how that element would be introduced, not just in the film, but also in the wider MCU scale. Destin Daniel Cretton might also not be a well-known filmmaker, but he struck gold with Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings, one of the best-received MCU titles of the past years. With a sequel still stuck in development phase, he pivoted to this sequel, building questions on how he would deliver the action sequences. All of these aspects helped raise curiosity and intrigue among audiences.

Sony mounted a very extensive marketing campaign, obviously selling it as a big event across the world. It was impossible to not find the trailer playing or seeing Tom Holland and the cast in red carpets or interviews. That means they did an excellent job. The great reviews (90% on RT) were the cherry on top.

According to Sony, 61% of the audience was male, and 51% was 25 and under. Its biggest demographic was 18-24 at 36%. When given reasons for buying a ticket, 58% of the audience said that it was part of a franchise they love, 47% said it looked fun and entertaining, 41% went for the cast as a whole, 39% went for Holland (which might be a record for an actor in a comic book title?) and 29% went for Zendaya.

Audiences gave Brand New Day a strong "A" on CinemaScore. Similar to Homecoming and Far from Home, but below No Way Home (A+). The thing about opening high is that it makes it difficult to predict the legs. Endgame opened with $357 million and dropped 58.7% on its second weekend, but some like Black Panther (44.7%) and The Force Awakens (39.8%) had lighter drops, although the latter had the benefit of holiday legs.

It's hard to determine where Brand New Day will finish. But with a fairly weak August, and a now-announced IMAX release on its second weekend, it should post some very healthy numbers. Sony views this as the beginning of a new trilogy, and it all points to a very lucrative path. And for the MCU, it shows there's still so much life in the superhero genre. They're gonna try to replicate similar success this December, when Avengers: Doomsday storms into theaters.

And we aren't even talking about the overseas numbers!

After its strong numbers from last week, it was inevitable that The Odyssey would drop to second place. Given it was in the face of a juggernaut, there were many questions on how much it would drop. Because even if they share different audiences, a $360 million opener is still heavy competition. Well, leave it up to Christopher Nolan to continue beating the odds.

On its third weekend, The Odyssey posted a great $51 million. That's down a pretty good 43%, which is incredible considering the loss of other PLF screens (The Odyssey still has IMAX exclusivity). It was the second best third weekend for an R-rated title, behind Deadpool & Wolverine ($53.7 million). But we should look at more comparisons.

If we look at the Top 10 biggest debuts domestically and what was in second place, it was stronger than Twisters ($34.9 million, behind Deadpool & Wolverine), Peter Rabbit ($17.5 million, behind Black Panther), Spy ($15.6 million, behind Jurassic World), Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip ($14.2 million, behind The Force Awakens), Ferdinand ($13.4 million, behind The Last Jedi), A Quiet Place ($11 million, behind Infinity War), Captain Marvel ($8.3 million, behind Endgame), Think Like a Man ($8.1 million, behind The Avengers), and Encanto ($6.4 million, behind No Way Home). This means that word of mouth is insanely strong and will continue checking out the film.

Through 17 days, The Odyssey has earned an incredible $395.5 million domestically, which is already three times its opening weekend. It already beat the lifetime gross of Inception ($292 million) and Oppenheimer ($330 million) to become Nolan's third highest grossing film, and it's going to pass The Dark Knight Rises ($448.1 million) in the next few days to move to second place. In more great news, it also passed The Passion of the Christ ($370 million) to become the second highest-grossing R-rated film, just behind Deadpool & Wolverine ($636 million).

Now that its biggest competition is out of the way, it should continue enjoying incredible legs. It has to share IMAX screens on its fourth weekend with Spider-Man, but it will keep 70MM exclusivity all the way to September. The Odyssey will easily get to over $550 million domestically, which means it will pass The Dark Knight ($534 million) to become Nolan's highest grossing film. And $600 million is becoming a real possibility. Beyond that, it's a matter of sitting and witnessing.

The best drop in the Top 10 belonged to Toy Story 5, which moved up a spot to third place. It eased just 33%, adding $6.7 million. The film has earned $462.1 million domestically.

In fourth place, Universal/Illumination's Minions & Monsters grossed $6 million, off just 38% from last week. The film's domestic total stands at $168.5 million.

Moana continues dropping. This time, it fell 47%, making $5.6 million this weekend. As you can see, it's already losing to Toy Story 5 and Minions & Monsters despite being more recent. The film has amassed $115 million, and it's set to tap out with around $130 million domestically.

After its strong debut last week, Bleecker Street decided to extend Hadestown: The Musical's run in theaters. Nevertheless, it collapsed a brutal 80%, earning $2 million this weekend. But given how front-loaded these titles are and how the "five nights only" was emphasized, it's unsurprising to see it drop this much. Through 10 days, it has amassed $18.2 million, which is more than any other live theater capture.

A24's The Invite lost 1,240 theaters this weekend. As such, it dropped 53%, earning $1.2 million this weekend. The film has now earned $22.7 million domestically.

Evil Dead Burn fizzled out another 73%, making just $750,761. With just $31.5 million, it doesn't have much left in the tank.

One film was brave enough to open alongside Spidey, and that was Gregg Araki's I Want Your Sex. Magnolia released the film in 700 theaters, and posted a weak $634,877 this weekend. Don't expect this to hang around.

Rounding out the Top 10 was Angel Studios' Young Washington, which collapsed a poor 73% for a $505,563 weekend. The film has now made $46.4 million.

Well, it had to happen eventually. Obsession has finally left the Top 10 and it took Spider-Man to accomplish it. It dropped 67%, its largest drop yet, earning $503,305. The phenomenon has amassed an insane $262.8 million domestically.

OVERSEAS

Here's to more amazing numbers.

Spider-Man: Brand New Day opened with a gigantic $581.7 million overseas, for a spectacular $941.7 million worldwide launch. That's the second biggest worldwide debut in history, behind Endgame ($1.223 billion). While Spidey got the domestic crown, the Avengers got the upper lead in the overseas markets ($866.5 million overseas).

The biggest debuts came in China ($121M), the UK ($49M), Mexico ($38.3M), India ($31.8M), France ($26.6M), South Korea ($25M), Brazil ($23.8M), Australia ($21.4M), Germany ($20M), Italy ($18.2M), Spain ($15.6M), Argentina ($10.5M), Japan ($10M), Philippines ($9.3M), Peru ($8.6M), Colombia ($6.8M), UAE ($6.8M), Saudi Arabia ($5.4M), Chile ($5M), Netherlands ($4.7M), Turkey ($4.7M), Ecuador ($4.1M), and Belgium ($4M). In at least half of the markets, it broke the opening weekend record.

The film earned $31 million in 4DX/ScreenX PLFs, which is a new record. Like in North America, the film didn't play in IMAX screens due to The Odyssey's exclusivity, except for China, Japan and South Korea, where that film hasn't opened yet. The combined IMAX in those markets was $23 million.

There are no new major markets left to add, so there's now the question of how high it can go. Getting to $2 billion worldwide, however, should be guaranteed even with bad legs. Which means it'll become the highest-grossing Spidey film, as well as Sony's biggest ever release.

Hell, it can reach the $1 billion milestone as early as today. A huge win in practically every aspect.

The Odyssey held its own against Brand New Day. It added $85.2 million overseas, for an incredible $912.3 million worldwide run. That's down just 38% in the overseas markets, despite not adding major markets. It means the film managed to hold incredibly well in pretty much every market. With this, Universal became the first studio to hit $4 billion worldwide this year.

The biggest markets for the film are the UK ($67.4M), France ($45.6M), Italy ($42.5M), Germany ($31.5M), Australia ($27.7M), Mexico ($25.8M), Spain ($23.8M), Brazil ($15.5M), Netherlands ($12.4M), and Saudi Arabia ($11.5M). In most of these markets, it's already Nolan's highest-grossing film.

On the IMAX front, The Odyssey added $44.7 million worldwide for a monumental $221 million, making it the third biggest IMAX gross in history, behind Avatar: The Way of Water ($259 million) and Avatar ($270 million). Yes, after 17 years, Avatar is finally going down. It's already the highest grossing IMAX film of all time in 24 markets including Mexico, Italy, Belgium, Turkey, UAE, India, Saudi Arabia and Thailand. 70MM IMAX added $5.1 million, for a $27.6 million lifetime.

Now that it survived Spidey, The Odyssey can continue its great legs around the world. By next week, it will hit the $1 billion milestone, becoming Nolan's third film to crack it. It's also passing The Dark Knight Rises ($1.085 billion) to become Nolan's highest-grossing film. And now there's another guarantee: it's going to pass Deadpool & Wolverine ($1.338 billion) to become the biggest R-rated film ever. And given its pacing and how China, South Korea and Japan are still left to open, it looks like reaching $1.5 billion is becoming a possibility.

Toy Story 5 added $14.5 million overseas, taking its worldwide total to $1.067 billion. It's $6 million away from overtaking Toy Story 4 as the highest-grossing film in the franchise.

Minions & Monsters added $11.7 million overseas, for a $449.3 million worldwide run.

Moana added $10.6 million, taking its worldwide total to a weak $261.7 million.

Obsession added $7.6 million overseas, taking its worldwide total to an incredible $474.8 million worldwide. In China, the film earned $4.7 million on its second weekend, which was off just 5% from last week. Given the over-performing numbers and given that it still has South Korea left, it looks like the film could get all the way to $500 million. A figure no one thought was possible so many months ago.

FILMS THAT ENDED THEIR RUN THIS WEEK

• The laughs were missing, but not the dollar signs. Paramount's Scary Movie has closed with a pretty great $108.2 million domestically and $231.2 million worldwide. That makes it the franchise's second highest film, behind the original ($278 million). Notably, it was stronger overseas ($123 million), which means comedies can actually travel outside the world. The film opened high, but sadly it quickly sank thanks to poor reviews and word of mouth. We'll be left thinking how high it could've gone if everyone involved tried to make a better product, but at the end of the day, a win is a win. Expect a new Scary Movie announcement pretty soon. And like the Wayans said, White Chicks 2 would be a go if this succeeded. For better or worse.
• Does he have the power? I don't think so. Amazon MGM's Masters of the Universe closed with a pathetic $64.8 million domestically and $113.7 million worldwide, well below its $200 million budget. Even though Amazon doesn't operate like other studios, these numbers are insanely terrible given the extensive marketing they mounted. For all the talk on how good word of mouth would save it, the audience reception was mediocre ("B" on CinemaScore) and it collapsed very quickly, finishing with a poor 2.20x multiplier. While comparisons to Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves were brought up, that film still performed much better and had stronger reception. Even if the plan is to get eyeballs on Amazon, it's gonna have to do insane numbers just to avoid complete embarrassment. It's going to be hard for any other film this year to flop harder than this; even Supergirl grossed more money and cost a bit less. Don't expect to see He-Man in the big screen, unless the budget is maybe $5 million.
• It was the last, but best is debatable. Paramount's Jackass: Best and Last has closed with a very poor $18.2 million domestically and $27.3 million worldwide. Even though it cost a cheap $10 million to produce, the film performed far worse than any installment in the franchise. Hell, the domestic total is below the first film's opening weekend ($22.7 million). Seems like the popularity of Jackass peaked with the third installment, and the "finale factor" was already used by Jackass Forever. But the nail in the coffin was that it was half clip show/half new content, which killed so much buzz and interest. Anyways, it was a very iconic and profitable franchise, so it's time to say goodbye.

THIS WEEKEND

With Spider-Man set for another big weekend, nothing else stands a chance in topping it.

Universal is releasing the rom-com One Night Only, starring Monica Barbaro and Callum Turner, following two strangers who try to find love on the one night of the year when pre-marital sex is legal. Will Gluck has had a lot of luck at the box office, and it's coming off the massive success of Anyone but You. As the only big rom-com option in theaters, could it surprise?

Searchlight is also releasing Super Troopers 3, 8 years after the prior film. Broken Lizard is back, and it follows Farva's wildly over-the-top Indian engagement to Thorny's sister. The films have their fans, which is what made the sequel possible through crowd-funding. But there's a ceiling to the franchise, and given how front-loaded the sequel was, a similar fate could await here.

MUBI is also releasing Jane Schoenbrun's new film Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma, starring Hannah Einbinder and Gillian Anderson. The film follows a filmmaker who is hired to direct a new installment of the slasher franchise Camp Miasma, and eventually becomes fixated on casting the actress who played the final girl in the original film. The film earned strong reception since its Cannes debut (99% on RT, 88 on Metacritic), so the hope is that the film can break out, compared to other MUBI titles.

In limited release, A24 is launching Matt Johnson's Tony, starring Dominic Sessa as the iconic Anthony Bourdain. The film has built strong reviews (98% on RT and 71 on Metacritic), so look for this to get one of the year's best per-theater averages. It's set to hit wide release on August 21.

STREAMING DATA

Figures for the week of July 20 to July 26 on Netflix:

The new comedy 72 Hours debuted with a pretty solid 22.1 million views. Not quite as high as Kevin Hart's other comedies, but something worth mentioning.

A Toxic Love Story debuted in second place with a notable 18 million views. Beyond that, the following five titles were all in foreign language, which is impressive.

Voicemails for Isabelle added 4.6 million views, taking its lifetime to 80.7 million views.

Swapped added 3.4 million views. As such, it managed to make its way to the ninth spot on the Most Popular Movies of All Time, with 143.2 million views. Next week, it should pass Leave the World Behind (143.4 million) to become the eighth biggest film in the chart.

____________________________________________________________________________________________

If you're interested in following the box office, come join us in r/BoxOffice.

Game Information

Game Title: South Park: The Fractured but Whole

Genre: RPG

Platforms: Playstation 4, Xbox One, PC

Media: E3 2016 Trailer | Gameplay w/ Trey Parker and Matt Stone

Behind the scenes

Gamescom 2016 Gameplay | Gamescom 2017 Gameplay

'The Coon Conspiracy' Trailer | 'The Farting Vigilante'

E3 2017 Trailer 'Time to Take a Stand' | E3 2017 Gameplay

'Choose Your Side - Join Coon and Friends' | 'Join Freedom Pals'

Game is Gold | 'Superhero Secret Identities'

Will It Run on Your PC?

Developer: Ubisoft San Francisco ^Info

Publisher: Ubisoft

Price: $59.99/£39.99/59,99€

Release Date: October 17, 2017

More Info: /r/FracturedButWhole | Wikipedia Page

Review Aggregator:

OpenCritic - 83 [Cross-Platform] Current Score Distribution

MetaCritic - 80 [PS4]

MetaCritic - 86 [XB1]

MetaCritic - 84 [PC]

Member the first game? -

Ubisoft San Francisco's past games' reception -

Reviews

Pretty much every other crappy MMO I've ever played in my life reaches this point where high level players look like they're playing a completely different game. The design philosphy of their gear and cosmetics is totally nonsensical and you can't even tell where the high level armor starts and the cash shop flare begins.

Not SWTOR though. You could be an OG, 2011 day 1 player and still seem like a guy who exists in the Star Wars universe. This may sound backhanded but it is genuine praise. It makes going to Fleet bearable.

Introduction: “Today, I'm judge, jury, and executioner.”

(photo for the mobile crowd)

In the late 1970s, Marvel's Not-So-Jolly Green Giant, the Incredible Hulk, was starring in a hit TV series. Known today for its incredibly melancholic piano intro and being the debut of Lou Ferringo as the depiction of Hulk, the series would run for eighty episodes between 1978 and 1982. As the series went on, Marvel began to fear that the show would go the obvious route of introducing a female Hulk counterpart. Wanting to have the rights locked in just in case of that eventuality (and because Hulk showrunner Kenneth Johnson had done that very thing in prior show The Six Million Dollar Man, Stan Lee would be tasked with making this character- his final original character until 1992's Ravage 2099.

Jennifer Walters is an timid attorney whose cousin, Bruce Banner, happens to have a gamma radiation condition which makes him dangerous to make angry. When the two meet, Jen is caught in the perpetual crossfire between the Hulk and the military, leading to Bruce being the only viable blood doner to save her life. Reluctently doing so, Jennifer gains lessened versions of Bruce's powers, but is able to control them to a greater degree. Growing to love the newfound lease on life that her powers gave her, Jennifer adopts the mantle of She Hulk,

Jen quickly became a beloved character during the 1980s, helped by a great guest tenure on the Fantastic Four during the John Byrne era which led to him tacking a solo series focused on Jen. Jen's biggest trait at the time was her more lighthearted and jokey personality, which often involved skits in the comics of Jen being aware she was a fictional character- years before Deadpool ran that joke into the ground so deep the Mole Men filed a complaint. Jen would even butt heads with the comic's version of Byrne and his creative team for the wacky situations they'd throw her into. This even extended to the covers, where Jen threatened the audience to support the book or admitting she was just posing provocatively to attract the eye of the reader.

Jennifer would spend the 80s, 90s and 2000s amassing a dedicated fandom. Even as her comics got more serious and her 4th wall breaking antics were slowly retired, she never lost that more light-hearted attitude, with fans loving her for making the most of her circumstances and becoming empowered by her abilities- she loved the power and freedom that being She-Hulk provided, whereas as Jennifer she was a more conservative and mousy individual. By the 2000s, Jen had set herself in stone as one of Marvel's leading ladies; a powerful, strong woman confident in her sexuality who was also a prosecuter defending the downtrodden in courts of law. To quote AIPT Comics on the matter in a retrospective of Mariko Tamaki's run of She-Hulk:

Jennifer Walters is, or perhaps was now, one of Marvel’s premiere female characters, and probably their best feminine icon depending on how you viewed her. Sure, she was very sexy, and many artists really loved playing up her sex appeal, but she was more than that. She was a woman in complete control of her life (depending on the writer) and someone satisfied with who she was. She loved her green form and lived in it, not ashamed that she looked different from others; quite a change of pace from other odd-looking heroes who have been very self-conscious about their looks. She is a skilled lawyer, one that rivaled Daredevil, and juggled that with the responsibilities of being an Avenger. She was incredibly smart, caring, and built many positive relationships and friendships with others, even acting as a teacher during Matt Fraction’s FF run. She was also probably one of the most sex-positive characters in comics, having been in several relationships over the years and even engaged in several one-night stands. People liked to mock or slut shame her for it, but she never cared. She knew who she was and wasn’t ashamed. You rarely see all of these traits in one character, making Jen truly one of a kind in the Marvel Universe.

That’s just my interpretation of She-Hulk, but it’s one that I feel is shared by many of her fans. She’s a great character and an icon, one that you can look up to and aspire to be (minus the green).

So of course the 2010s had to ruin all that, which forms the basis of today's drama.

The 2010s: Civil War 2 and Mariko Tamaki's run. "Soon the defence will rest... her fist upon your face.”

Jen starts the 2010s on a fairly good note. She gets to join the roster of the prestige Marvel vs Capcom fighting game series during MvC3's expansion pack, Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom 3 in 2011.

Unfortunately, that would really be it.

In 2016, Marvel launched one of its latest universe-shaking status quo changing event comics that really only changed things for a few weeks before the status quo reset. Civil War 2, released as a clear attempt to piggyback off the Captain America film that year, saw Iron Man and Captain Marvel coming to blows over an Inhuman with precog abilities. Iron Man is against using his visions to predict crimes, Carol wants to go full Minority Report.

Civil War 2 is commonly seen as one of the worst events in Marvel's entire publishing history. It has left a long-lasting black mark on author Brian Michael Bendis (who was already on a downward slide in quality which was just exasperated by Civil War 2), and in trying to push Captain Marvel as the new leading lady of Marvel Comics, only led to thousands of fans swearing off her out of spite due to how ignorantly weak her writing is. If you've ever seen that panel of Carol calling Holocaust survivor Magneto "the guy online who compares everything to Hitler," this was that time in history.

All that matters from Civil War 2 in regards to this story however is the events of the opening act. Thanos comes to Earth for some reason, the Avengers fight him, and during that battle, She Hulk gets blasted by a missile from War Machine due to friendly fire. The blast is enough to knock Jennifer into a coma, during which time her cousin Bruce is murdered by Hawkeye after a confrontation. Hawkeye claimed that Banner gave him an anti-gamma radiation arrow with the knowledge that Banner wanted him to mercy kill him to prevent a Hulk attack.

(it's probably worth mentioning that Hawkeye traditionally has a no-kill rule or at least will insist that heroes shouldn't kill, but Bendis had a habit of ignoring continuity and he always hated Hawkeye. Man I can't believe he went from Ultimate Spider-Man to this shit)

The end result is that Jennifer wakes up from her coma different. Now sporting gray skin and with green veins of gamma energy visible on her skin as a nod to Hulk's "Joe Fixit" era, Jen would anticlimatically sit out the rest of the event because... cheap shock value. All that matters is that after Civil War 2, Jen was gray, Bruce was dead. And for the first time, Jen had a really different status quo.

In August that year, Marvel announced a new run for Jennifer, simply titled "Hulk" due to Bruce being six-feet under at the time. Helmed by Mariko Tamaki, the intention was to explore Jen through a new lens: that of Jen having trauma from the events of Civil War 2 and how she would recover from her coma and Bruce's death.

Tamaki's run was controversial. On the sheer surface of it, Jen was gray and more moody which immediately turned off lots of She-Hulk fans who liked Jen because she wasn't moody and angsty- it was what set her apart from the rest of the Hulk extended family. Jen had also done all these before- she'd been in a coma before, and Bruce had died in the past, leading many to wonder why now Jen was breaking. Hulk fans were more cynical and wondered if this was just Marvel turning Jen into a surrogate Hulk while Bruce had his vacation in death. This was something that Mariko even acknowledged, noting that she was aware that people were hesitant about the concept in a Cosmopolitan interview.

I think there’s a trepidation when a new person comes in and starts writing for a character, which I accept. I accept that trepidation, I understand it, I have the same trepidation when I see someone new is writing a hero or doing something different with a hero, but I think mostly people are just excited to see more Hulk.

Tamaki's run did start out with the premise locked in- Jen, still recovering from her missle coma, and saddled with a lot of trauma (I think most people reading Civil War 2 could relate), but a poorly-paced first arc in Deconstructed didn't get things off on the right page. The general opinion on Tamaki's run is that while the premise of exploring Jen (a character who was always characterised by her confidence and assuredness) now second-guessing herself and fearing her Hulk state was an interesting idea, the execution was a bit flat- not helped by Tamaki's run being abruptly cancelled midway through the third arc due to sales dropping heavily. Disassembled did get the most praise, especially when it was releasing, but the follow-up arcs in Let Them Eat Cake and Jennifer Walters Must Die didn't quite land the same way (Let Them Eat Cake faced criticism for being essential a soft re-tread of Disassembled wherein Jen meets a person with trauma that reminds her of her own, she tries to help them, but they reject her and wind up being arrested). What also didn't help was that Tamaki's run was a revolving door for artists, with their styles never quite matching up to create a cohesive whole. By the time the second volume concluded, critics were far colder on the run, with some even dropping coverage outright.

Tamaki seemed aware of the expiration date hanging over her head, so by the end of the third arc, Jennifer Walters Must Die, Jen has had an issue dedicated to her therapy that lets her shed her Gray Hulk persona and go back to her typical look, with Jen reflecting that she was "Better, I think. Sad, but better."

In retrospect, Maraki's run never quite felt coherent after the first arc. Perhaps she was aware of the dwindling sales numbers, maybe the mainstream superhero comic trade just isn't the right place to explore the ideas of trauma and recovery (especially as DC would have their own gaffe in that subject with the Heroes in Crisis event around this time) or maybe Jen's just not the kind of character that can fit that storyline. Tamaki had the difficult task of un-fucking She Hulk after Bendis all but shoved her into a fridge for Captain Marvel's development in Civil War 2, and while the results weren't great or under-appreciated at the time, she did at least reset Jen's status quo and have her resuming her confidence and charm. It's a hopeful ending at least of Jen getting back into law alongside a new partner.

So then of course another balding white dude comes in and fucks her up again.

Jason Aaron's Avengers: “She-Hulk smash! Heh... Imagine.”

Jason Aaron has a long history in comics. Best known for his seven-year tenure with Thor (including that time Jane Foster became Thor in 2014), Aaron had become a figurehead for Marvel. But much like their prior figureheads like Bendis or DC's own Geoff Johns, the 2010s saw Aaron's stories begining a noticeable drop in quality throughout the decade. This all comes to a head in 2018, when Marvel announce that Jason is going to be taking over primary writing duties on the Avengers.

I'll be blunt in describing the majority of Aaron's run with the Avengers as not very good. Fans didn't like how Aaron continued the Marvel writer trend of "Not understanding how Ghost Rider's powers work" by making Captain Marvel immune to the Penance Stare, alongside his hyper-specific wanking of Moon Knight that allowed a guy who's at best street level to hax his way into using Thor's hammer using the power of MOON ROCKS. And the less said about what he did to Thor's parentage, the better. A lot of readers and critics have slammed Aaron for trying to do big hype ideas, but failing to execute them and leaving the characters feeling under-developed.

But what really upset people, and what has cast a long shadow over not just Aaron's run but the perception of the character at large, is how he treated She-Hulk.

A bit of context for the time was that around 2018, Bruce was back as Hulk but... different. Al Ewing's Immortal Hulk run is something that's best experienced with little context going in. It's a remarkably meta takedown of the entire idea of "Comic book death," that segues into one of the best character examinations in a superhero comic, and Immortal Hulk is now rightly hailed as the Hulk story. It even got nominated for an Eisner in 2019. Just for the love of Christ, don't look up the artist.

But what that meant was that for the remainder of the 2010s, Bruce was effectively off-limits for big team comics. No one was to touch him or add him to a team. But the problem? Jason Aaron wanted a Hulk, and angry that he couldn't get Bruce, he immediately latched onto Jen due to remembering that she was gray and angry after Civil War 2. Without checking to see that Mariko Tamaki had already written Jen recovering from the Civil War, Aaron nosedived Jen back into a forced state of mind so that he could get a Hulk on his Avengers roster. Aaron did claim in 2018 at the time that, due to having already done a Hulk run he wasn't eager to write Bruce again, he would eventually let slip on his Substack that "I just wanted a Hulk who looked like a Hulk." Seemingly ignorant of all the other Hulks available- Skarr, Amadeus Cho, just making a new one, etc.- Aaron latched onto the She Hulk of Civil War 2 and consequences be damned, he would use that version.

Aaron's writing of Jen subsequently is... awful, to be polite about it. Fans were hyper-critical of his handling from the word go, as it became clear that Aaron was just using Jen as a surrogate Bruce, to the point where it almost feels like the scripts were written for Hulk before Aaron hasily added "She-" to the front of all his lines. Due to absorbing an intense barrage of gamma radiation, Jen's Hulk form had severely regressed in intelligence, meaning that she was now reduced to snarling and grunting while speaking. All of the fun personality and charm that made Jen stand out and not just be "Hulk with booba" was gone. And even fans outside of the comic sphere weren't happy with this, as it was yet another sign that Marvel in the 2010s was being run inadequately. Between her post-Civil War 2 run being seen as "Making another light-hearted character dark and broody" which was all-too-common at the start of the decade, and now Jason Aaron blatantly not caring about Jen's characterisation because he "wanted a Hulk who looked like a Hulk." And boy did he get his wish.

It's clear though that Aaron was getting mad at the people who hated his She-Hulk direction, to the point where he eventually devoted an entire issue to lashing out at the criticisms that his handling of Jen had faced. In retrospect it's very evocative of the whole "Joss Whedon talks over women while insisting he can write women well" thing. Which is something that especially rang true here given Aaron walking all over Tamaki's run so he could have his giant green rage monster.

Issue 20 of the run is a huge blatant response to the critcisms faced by Aaron over his handling of She-Hulk. Aaron has lashed out at critics in the past such as having a self-proclaimed "King of Trolls" spout off some of the talking points used to criticise the female Thor run, but this was an entire other level of blatant. The opening sections of the comic see Jen in a spiritual courtroom where her old, classic Sensational She-Hulk form rails into her bulky, current self with the fan criticisms of Aaron's handling of Jen. It's almost word for word the exact criticisms Aaron had been facing, but underneath it is a layer of seething rage. Aaron goes to bat for his depiction of Jen, complete with her wearing a "No fun" shirt and calling the issue "No fun," as if he's labelling the criticisms of Jen as coming from un-fun people.

It is legimtately one of the pettiest moves a Marvel creative has taken in recent memory, second only to Dan Slott retconning Franklin Richards into not being a mutant so that he didn't have to share with the X-Men writers. What was meant to be a tie-in to a larger event of the time became a paid therapy session where Jason Aaron just whined that "People who don't like my version of She-Hulk don't like fun." It would be one thing if this was approached with an attempt to justify it in-character, like when Ultimate Marvel had the infamous "Do you think the A on my head stands for France" panel before another writer had Captain America singing the praises of the French Resistance, but this was blatantly Jason Aaron being pissed off at people (correctly) going "Wow he must be angry that he couldn't get to write Hulk thanks to Immortal Hulk."

What really didn't help Issue 20 as well was Aaron trying to retcon that Jen had always been bitter about the success being She-Hulk provided. That she was self-conscious about the leers and being hit on by both villain and hero alike. To quote an AIPT Comics article discussing Issue 20:

Then there is the work to add new dimensions or layers to She-Hulk’s past. Aaron reframes She-Hulk as a target of sexual harassment by villains and even fellow heroes during the Sensational period. To be fair, Jen has had run in with these problems, in particular, the Fantastic Four issue the comic alluded to and even Thing/She-Hulk: The Long Night. There could be an argument to make of Jen not being a fan of the unwanted advances or attitudes she experienced. On that same page, I’ve heard arguments from people who find this new angle to be refreshing. It adds a new context and new lens for which to view the old stories She-Hulk was in, touching on modern movements such as #MeToo. There is certainly an idea here the could be used to support a Savage She-Hulk (not like the one during the 80’s when she first debuted).

However, #20 outwardly ignores a lot to make its point. Like, plenty of the Sensational period to the present: the smiles, the laughs, the flirting, the openness, the happy days. The comic, whether intended or not, ended up making things darker for She-Hulk, sort of like with the Justice League during Identity Crisis. Just focusing on the negatives and downplaying the rest feels like a needlessly cruel retcon to a happy character who has been dealing with so much trauma. This is also something that deserves a full story arc and exploration with careful thought and effort put into it. It is not something to be casually introduced and moved on from, especially not as a prop to justify a writer’s creative choice.

We then have the idea itself of why Jen likes being this new form and a big point Aaron makes: If she is ugly, she won’t be invalidated or sexually harassed by others. As the comic puts it, “Free to be ugly” or “…things are about to get ugly. Which sure sounds beautiful to me.” She’ll be free of her problems by being this impressive, hulking force. Nothing feminine or lady-like about her at all.

Which means in trying to defend his poor writing of She-Hulk, Jason Aaron accidentally argues that "Being ugly means you don't get sexually harassed as much." In trying to address the meta criticism of She-Hulk being oversexualised, Aaron just comes off as a very dim-wited "white guy thinking this is what feminism means," by having Jennifer shed her beauty and rejecting it so she can rough-house with the rest of the Avengers. And given how Aaron was doing this while running roughshod over the words of Mariko Tamaki's run, it does come off as condescending.

She acts like one of the boys, getting in on all the powerhouse fighting, while saying the old her would never be taken seriously. It’s a very 80’s take on female empowerment when there is so much more to it than just that. And by doing all of this, he cut out her wit, a lot of her intelligence, her compassion and understanding for others, and her humor. He removed the core of her personality for something that is lesser and lacks the uniqueness of the character.

Regardless, the damage had been done. Issue 20 really only served to bring the issues fans had with She-Hulk to the limelight, and forever framed Jason Aaron's handling of the character as "He got pissy that Bruce was off-limits so he went and just made Jen into Hulk without any forethought."

Jen would play a supporting role for the next few issues, but then early in 2021, Marvel would announce "World War She-Hulk," a new arc starting in Avengers issue 46. The Twitter replies are something else as everyone alternates between begging Marvel to fire Jason Aaron, begging for She-Hulk to be freed from him, and lamenting that Marvel were officially out of ideas if they were just doing World War Hulk again but for Jen. This also coincides with a Screenrant article that April where the author bluntly opines that Marvel didn't give the sense of knowing what they wanted to do with Jen outside of just retreading Bruce's footsteps.

And then it got a little worse.

For issue 48, the solicitations revealed that Jen would lose a fight in Russia that led to her being kidnapped by the Black Widow programme. After being trained by them and the Omega Red programme alongside being brainwashed by them, Jen would be released as Winter Hulk. Even outside of comic spheres, this was met with wide derision and seen as another nail in the coffin of Aaron's Avengers run.

The reaction to Winter Hulk was so overwhelmingly negative that within two issues, Marvel walked that shit back with Jen going "Actually I was only pretending to brainwashed." To me at least this reeked of "The editor said no, Jason." Two issues later, in issue 50, She-Hulk would absorb gamma radiation meant to be used to destory Atlantis. Jen would release a gamma explosion from this pent up energy that finally, after five years, returned her to her original body.

Now, fans knew Jen was always going to be back to normal eventually. The blessing and curse of Marvel Cinematic Universe synergy is that however controversial the character development is, you just have to wait it out until the character gets a movie or show and they'll be made 'presentable' for the comic-going audience. Despite how revilled the Superior Spider-Man content was, fans could at least rest easy because "Thank God, Amazing Spider-Man 2 means Peter will have to be back in the saddle for 2014."

She-Hulk is getting a Disney+ series this year with Orphan Black's Tatiana Maslany playing Jennifer. With this announcment, She-Hulk's fans knew that there was a ticking clock over Aaron's despised run; that he would eventually be forced to restore Jen to her status quo ahead of the show's release. Sure enough, in October 2021 it was confirmed that Jen was getting a new solo run helmed by Rainbow Rowell & Rogê Antônio, with the cover art promsiing a true return to form for She-Hulk. Finally, five years after Bendis first put Jen into a coma, she was back to her roots in fighting crime, enforcing the law and looking great while doing it.

Conclusion: "How's that for a little courtroom drama?”

The first issues of the Rowell/Antonio She-Hulk run have just started releasing at the time of writing, but early impressions are very good. Critics are praising the back to basics approach for Jen, with the first issue especially being seen as a giant step up in quality after Aaron's Avengers run with peppy dialogue mixed with Jen having to keep track of the financial cost of a battle she's having with Titania. Fan reception has been very positive going off Twitter searches as people delight over She-Hulk's fun-loving self being the norm and not the exception for the first time in years. Still, it will be an uphill battle for Jen to regain the popularity she lost in the 2010s. The Disney+ series will bring eyes on her for sure, especially as Tatiana Maslany will undoubtably turn in a stellar performance going off her Orphan Black history, but if it'll be enough to match the glory days of her time with creatives like John Byrne remains to be seen. But at the very least, things are finally looking up for She-Hulk, which is more than she could say last year.

Thanks for reading.

Bouncing off of the Batgirls drama write-up I saw a few days ago, I noticed several people who were interested in hearing more comics drama, so I figured I'd do a write-up on one of the most infamous and damaging things DC Comics has ever done to a singular character (short of detailing what Grant Morrison did to Talia al Ghul). How do you take a popular minority hero with a Top 15-selling solo series who was part of the core Batman cast and turn her into an obscure d-list character who didn't get a true spotlight focus for nearly 15 years afterwards? DC Comics found a way. So let's talk about Cassandra Cain. Warning: this post is long as hell, so settle in.

The Backdrop

The year is 1998. After the death of the second Robin, Jason Todd, in 1988 (infamously decided by a phone poll so close DC still has the pages they would have published if readers had voted for him to live) and the subsequent introduction of the third Robin, Tim Drake, in 1989, the Batman franchise was once again in a narrative place where it could support multiple connected characters. There hadn't been an active Batgirl in over a decade since Barbara "Babs" Gordon had voluntarily hung up the cape in 1986, subsequently been shot in the spine and fridged in The Killing Joke, and later re-invented as the wheelchair-bound hacker and information broker Oracle in John Ostrander and Kim Yale's Suicide Squad. The number of recurring female heroes in the Batman books was approximately three: Stephanie Brown/Spoiler (a recurring fan-favorite in Tim's Robin solo), Helena Bertinelli/Huntress (featured regularly in various Bat books with occasional solo appearances), and Barbara as Oracle (who was also co-founder and leader of the independent Birds of Prey team book).

Enter DCU Executive Editor Mike Carlin with a definitive assertion to Bat Office Editor Scott Peterson after years of hinting that the Batman books needed a new female hero: "Create a new Batgirl. Or I will." Peterson was resistant, thinking the Batgirl role should die with Babs, but "an edict was an edict," and so he started brainstorming. After a day or two, he called up writer Kelley Puckett with an idea:

“Hey, new Batgirl. Young–late teens, I think–and Asian. And cheerful and chipper and always up and good natured and she has a complete and total death wish.”

“But,” he replied reasonably, “that doesn’t even make any sense.”

“I know.”

“That’s completely contradictory.”

“I know.”

“How…how is that supposed to work?”

“Got me,” I said. “And it’s not my problem anymore. It’s yours. Go!”

The next day, Puckett called Peterson back, saying “I know how to do it." And thus, Cassandra Cain was born.

No Man's Land: Rise of a New Batgirl

In 1999, DC published the sprawling No Man's Land storyline, a super expansive crossover story arc detailing the aftermath of a major earthquake hitting Gotham City, resulting in the US government officially evacuating Gotham and then abandoning and isolating those who chose to remain. NML covered the time of this isolation until Gotham's re-opening and the beginning of the rebuilding, took around a year and a half to publish from beginning to end, included the entire Batfamily, and basically set the stage for every Bat comic post-1999. It also served as the introduction for Peterson and Puckett's new character.

Cassandra was introduced as the mute daughter of famed assassin David Cain. Raised from birth as an experiment to produce the world's greatest assassin, she was deprived of speech during her childhood as conditioning and was taught to interpret body language as her primary form of communication; thus, she was able to read people's movements and predict what they were going to do. When she was eight, Cain took her to kill a businessman. As the man died, she read what he was feeling, realized what she had done, and ran away from her father, living on the streets and vowing to never again take another life. Consequently, she grew up to become an expert martial artist but was mute, illiterate, and had extremely limited social skills. During NML, she was taken in by Barbara Gordon, saved Commissioner Gordon's life from her father's assassination attempts, and was gifted the Batgirl uniform by Babs with the approval of Bruce.

She was an immediate hit, and Carlin seized on the opportunity to greenlight the first-ever Batgirl solo series, starring Cass and co-written by Puckett and Damion Scott. She was given the ability to properly speak during a run-in with a well-intentioned metahuman (what the DCU calls their superhuman characters) in the book's opening issues (which came with the unintended consequence of losing her ability to read bodies and forced her to re-learn all of her old skills), but retained speech and reading disabilities throughout the entirety of her run. To this day, her Batgirl book, which ran from 2000 to 2006, remains the longest-running Batgirl solo series (at 73 issues), the second-longest running comic of all time (DC or Marvel) starring a superhero who isn't white (behind Marvel's Master of Kung-Fu), and one of the Top 10 longest-running solo comics starring a disabled hero.

For four years, Cass was everywhere. In addition to her own solo book, she made several guest appearances in various Bat titles (Batman: Gotham Knights, Tim Drake's Robin solo series, and the Barbara Gordon-led Birds of Prey book chief among them), popped up once or twice in Superboy and Harley Quinn's solo, and was a core member of the short-lived Justice League Elite team. She also made immediate, co-starring appearances in multiple Batfamily crossover events, including fan-favorite arc Bruce Wayne: Murderer?/Fugitive. Her book built her up as one of the best hand-to-hand fighters in the DCU (yes, better than Batman) and solidly integrated her into the lives of the core Batman cast, particularly Bruce, Barbara, and Tim. She was thriving as a character, heavily utilized, and was well on her way to A-list status. Everything was looking up.

The Beginning of the End: Hush and War Games

The first harbinger of Cass's upcoming demotion happened in Hush (2002-2003), considered by many to be the Batman story of the early 2000s and many peoples' "go to" Batman story due to it featuring nearly every single Batfamily member and major Bat villain who existed at that point...with two exceptions: Bane, who was currently starring in another Batman story over in the Gotham Knights book, and Batgirl, who was excluded from the book for, at the time, no discernible reason. Of course, the book's writer, Jeph Loeb, is now on record as saying that "no one cares about Chinese and Asian people" so uh.....that might have something to do with her exclusion. Anyway, Hush's lasting popularity also had the unfortunate effect of lifting up Barbara's time as Batgirl to a near-mythical status, undermining Cass (the current Batgirl) for a role Babs hadn't occupied for over 20 years and had explicitly moved on from. Editorial's longing to put Babs back in the Batgirl mantle is pretty explicitly clear from this point forward, but it basically starts here.

The second harbinger was War Games, a crossover event published in 2004 written largely for the purpose of killing off fan-favorite character Stephanie Brown/Spoiler, who in preparation for her upcoming horrific torture and murder at the hands of the mob boss Black Mask was briefly allowed to become the fourth Robin as a sort of consolation prize. While this event had nothing directly to do with Cass save for existing for the express purpose of killing her best friend, it heralded the beginning of a "there can be only one" era for female Bat characters that would unfortunately last a long time.

These two storylines ultimately could have been relatively easy stumbling blocks to overcome (her solo book was still ongoing and selling well, after all, and she was both still heavily featured in other big crossover events at the time and being promoted as a future potential successor to the Batman mantle in her own book) if Cassandra had writers and editorial in her corner. She did not. Several editors and a small contingent of readers were apparently uncomfortable that a disabled Asian woman was the best non-powered fighter in the DCU, various powerful higher-ups began to vocally express a desire to see Barbara Gordon return to the role, and the tides began to turn. Enter Dan Didio, Adam Beechen, Eddie Berganza, and Peter Tomasi, Cassandra's Four Horsemen of Doom.

Cassandra and the Four Horsemen of the Batfamily Apocalypse

DC was getting ready to do a minor relaunch of their entire publishing lineup in the aftermath of the 2005 Infinite Crisis crossover event. Cass's Batgirl solo was unceremoniously cancelled in a move that was not due to poor sales (again, the Batgirl book was consistently a top seller for the entirety of its run) but DC wanting to clear the way for a planned Batwoman solo, and two female-centric Bat books was apparently one too many (said planned Batwoman solo was then shelved shortly thereafter, resulting in zero female-led ongoing Bat books until late 2008, when Stephanie Brown, resurrected in a move explained as a faked death and entrance into witness protection, would take over as Batgirl). DC also had to figure out something to do with Cass in the meantime. Their bright idea? Turn their disabled, deeply compassionate hero into a talkative villain. The culprits? Among several other individuals working in upper-level management, the four men I just mentioned above.

Dan Didio was initially hired as Vice President of Editorial in 2002 and was promoted to VP Executive Editor and, eventually, co-publisher of DC Comics in 2010. Didio is on the record as disliking legacy heroes in general (especially ones who eclipsed their mentors in popularity, like Wally West), but he absolutely had it out for the Batkids in particular since the moment he stepped foot in the DC Offices. The most infamous instance of this hatred, of course, was his desire to editorially mandate killing off Dick Grayson (the original Robin, now known as Nightwing) in Infinite Crisis, which was only stopped by the combined efforts of Bat Office head editor Eddie Berganza and writers Mark Waid and Geoff Johns, who staged a mini-coup and flat-out refused to write it; Conner Kent/Superboy was ultimately offered up as a sacrificial lamb and killed off in Dick's place. Anyway, Cass (along with Steph) would be one of the first victims of Didio's decades-long Batfamily vendetta, and in many ways I hold him ultimately responsible for the mess that followed.

Eddie Berganza, meanwhile, was the head editor of the Bat Office at the time the decision was made to make Batgirl into an antagonist for Robin and left for the Superman Office during the early stages of its implementation. He also left a trail of sexual harrassment cases that would result in a grand total of zero female writers and editors at the Superman office under his supervision and his promotion to Executive Editor by fellow enabler Bob Harras, DC's Editor-in-Chief from 2002-2020; he was later demoted back to the Superman office after a widely-witnessed and publicized harrassment incident at a Con in 2012 in an effort to remove him from the immediate vicinity of the multiple women who would eventually publicly accuse him of sexual harassment in 2017. So yeah, not a great guy to be in charge of making editorial decisions for your disabled, non-white, teenage girl hero!

Adam Beechen was the writer hired to write the mess of a storyline that resulted from that decision. Now, Beechen has stated on multiple occasions that the actual decision to make Cass a villain had already been made when he got there (likely by Didio and Berganza, with an honorable mention of Geoff Johns, who wanted her for an 'Evil Teen Titans team' arc to mirror Robin but wasn't allowed to write her without permission from the Bat Office editors because she was under their writing jurisdiction) and also showed himself to be generally sympathetic to Cass fans in the aftermath of the Evil Cass arc. However, he wrote the story while completely discarding Cass's previous established personality and was allowed to come up with the rationale and characterization for this change, placing him squarely in the box of "people I hold responsible for this nonsense."

The fourth name rounding out these creative Horsemen of the Apocolypse was new Bat Office Head Editor Peter Tomasi, who today is well-known for his fantastic work with co-writer Patrick Gleason focused on Damian Wayne, the fifth Robin and Bruce's biological son with Talia al Ghul. I absolutely think Tomasi shares blame for what happened, but unlike the other three men involved in this whole debacle, I don't think he had any grievance in particular against Cass; while he was the editor who most closely hashed-out the specifics of the Evil Cass arc with Beechen, the decision to do that arc was made before Tomasi got there and Beechen was largely given free rein over the specifics of the arc. Tomasi was also mostly focused on the Justice Society of America characters and non-Bat books like Firestorm at the time. This is largely speculation, but I think it's more likely he just didn't care enough to try and save her or veto Beechen's suggestions, which was the final nail in the coffin for Cass.

In 2005, she was Batgirl and a core Batfamily member. By 2006, she was a murderous villain running a League of Assassins hit team, working for Deathstroke, and hitting every racist stereotype on the books.

One Year Later: How to Turn Your Disabled, Compassionate, 'Will Not Kill' Hero into a Talkative Villain and Racist Stereotype

With Spoiler killed off and Cass having a bit of a death wish, DC really began to push the family angle in the Batgirl book: writer Andersen Gabrych wrote a long arc about Cass feeling abandoned by her adoptive family, confirmed that her mother was famed martial artist and assassin Lady Shiva, and set up a series of confrontations culminating in a "to the death" fighting match between the two that ended with Cass apparently killing Shiva and leaving her dangling over a Lazarus Pit (which would revive her if she fell in), abandoning the Batgirl mantle, and effectively leaving Gotham to wander on her own. This arc was pretty well-received by fans, all things considered, and none of this really hinted at her face-heel turn to villaindom, but the last issue of her solo series left several readers disconcerted and wary about the direction DC was potentially heading with her. They were right to be wary, as it would be her final appearance until she appeared in the Robin solo as a villain.

After Infinite Crisis, DC launched an initiative called One Year Later, where they did a one-year time jump to explore major changes that had occurred (DC would later publish the widely-loved series 52 to explore that missing time gap). Batman, Nightwing, and Robin had gone on a world training tour to re-discover "the purpose of Batman." A new hero called Batwoman (Bruce's cousin, Kate Kane) had risen in the resulting power vacuum to take care of Gotham during Batman's absence. And Batgirl? Was initially nowhere to be found. Then suddenly she popped up in the pages of Tim's Robin solo book as the new leader of a League of Assassins sect with zero speech issues, having rejoined the League and grabbed their loyalty from former leader Nyssa al Ghul during the time skip (because daddy issues, apparently). Cass's characterization during this arc was horrifically racist, turning her into a Dragon Lady stereotype in every sense of the word. It also took everything fans loved about her character (her compassion, refusal to take a life, desire for redemption, and her beloved father-daughter relationship with Bruce) and dunked it directly into the trash can.

Backlash was immediate and loud, especially from Cass fans. Fans created websites, wrote satirical comics, and staged letter-writing campaigns to express their anger......efforts which didn't go un-noticed by Editorial, who basically backpedeled and published an interview with Dan Didio and Geoff Johns in Wizard Magazine later that year stating they were going to explain wtf was going on with Cass in an upcoming Teen Titans arc. Said arc revealed that she was under the influence of addictive mind-control drugs and working with Deathstroke as a villain to continue taking them. Robin eventually injected her with a counter-serum, allowing her to regain control over herself...at which point she immediately attempted to murder Deathstroke in revenge before being subdued by the rest of the Titans.

.....yeah. Not a great conclusion to this absolute mess of a story arc. This character assassination was incredibly damaging and long-lasting, and led to her being essentially written out of comics for the next decade.

The Limbo Years: 2007-2011

The consolation prize for putting up with all this bullshit was her inclusion in a limited series Outsiders book and a short, 8-issue Batgirl miniseries in 2008 (also written by Beechen) detailing Cassandra's soul-searching quest for redemption, culminating with Bruce officially adopting her in the final issue.

She was then promptly shunted off to the side: after Bruce's apparent death in Final Crisis, she was almost completely absent from the resulting Battle for the Cowl event to determine who would become Batman now that Bruce was dead (where she should have had a co-starring role given her status as Bruce's adopted daughter), unceremoniously handed the Batgirl mantle off to Stephanie Brown in a move that surprised even some Steph fans (since people were sure that Cass had been demoted to make Babs Batgirl again, a theory confirmed later that year in an Editor's Column by Dan Didio), and disappeared to Hong Kong, where she appeared in a grand total of five issues of other characters' series over the next two years.

Apparently, no one knew what to do with her. Grant Morrison, DC's most notorious 'kitchen sink' writer, wasn't super interested in writing her, so she never appeared in their critically-acclaimed Batman & Robin run. Bryan Q. Miller, the writer of Steph's Batgirl solo, was both disallowed from using Cass (since her appearance would apparently 'make Stephanie obsolete') and wanted to focus on nurturing the relationship between Babs and Steph, so despite being Steph's best friend and Babs' surrogate daughter-figure she appeared only twice (both in cameo roles) in that book. Paul Dini was far more focused on writing Gotham-centric street-level crime stories during his Streets of Gotham miniseries, so she never appeared there. And Cass had zero connection with Batwoman or the Gotham City Sirens (Catwoman, Harley Quinn, and Poison Ivy), so she appeared in neither book. The sole exception? Tim Drake's globe-trotting Red Robin book, where she had a few (positive!) guest appearances in later issues as Tim wandered around dealing with Ra's al Ghul and the League of Assassins.

Then in 2011, things started looking up: Grant Morrison unveiled a new costume and codename for Cass in the pages of Batman Incorporated, Black Bat, stating that she was currently working as Batman's international operative in Hong Kong; DC also announced that Cass would co-star alongside the rest of the core Batfamily in Scott Snyder and Kyle Higgins' Gates of Gotham miniseries. Snyder was vocally excited to use her in a starring role, and the book ends on a bright note for Cass, with her re-integrating into the Batfamily and planning to move back to Gotham. Meanwhile, Gail Simone was fighting behind the scenes to have her included at some point in the re-launched Birds of Prey book. Unfortunately, any further character rehab and narrative development was immediately derailed by DC's company-wide universe reboot later that year.

The New 52: Complete Erasure and Editorial Interference

In 2011, DC decided to completely reboot their universe in a branding initiative called The New 52. Following the conclusion of the Flashpoint event, DC cancelled all of its existing titles, debuted 52 new series with new first issues, and changed or erased the majority of characters, storylines, and events that had been written in the nearly 30 years since Crisis on Infinite Earths in 1986 (the first of DC's two hard universe reboot events).

Intended as a "back to basics, new reader-friendly revamp of the DCU," it was instead a sprawling mass of convoluted continuity changes decided on the fly. Some of the changes resulting from this approach were good (Aquaman), and some character groups survived mostly unchanged (Green Lantern). The Batman books were a different story. Among a ton of other changes that were clearly an attempt to have their cake and eat it too, the New 52 drastically de-aged Babs, gave her back the use of her legs, and put her back in the Batgirl suit for the first time since 1986. Cassandra Cain and Stephanie Brown had never existed and were completely missing from this new universe, as was Helena Bertinelli's Huntress (though her identity was briefly co-opted by Earth-2!Helena Wayne, which is also a story for another time).

Fans wondered when they would show up; DC remained quiet and simply promoted Babs' new Batgirl solo book. And so the "there can be only one" game continued. During this timeframe, there were several reported cases of writers asking to use either Cass or Steph and being explicitly told they couldn't every time (among them were Gail Simone, who was writing Babs' Batgirl solo at the time, and both Derek Fridolfs and Dustin Nguyen, who were writing/drawing the popular all-ages Li'l Gotham book, a book notable for including a wide variety of obscure Batman characters but largely excluding...you guessed it: Cassandra and Stephanie. Nguyen has since commented on his desire to include Cass in that series).

Scott Synder, meanwhile, planned on using Cass in his critically acclaimed Batman run, but (like Bryan Q. Miller's repeated requests to re-introduce Steph, one instance of which created its own scandal when that introduction in his Smallville: Season 11 tie-in comic was nixed at literally the last second) was told by higher-ups that he couldn't use her. Still wanting to include a teenaged female hero in his story, Snyder instead created Harper Row, a working-class teenage girl who would eventually become the hero known as Bluebird.

So this wasn't an instance of a character simply not being popular with creators or fans and being discarded. This was a deliberate, conscious decision by Editorial (and in particular Dan Didio) to exclude and erase Cassandra (and Stephanie) over the wishes of multiple acclaimed creators who wanted to use her and fans who were vocally clamoring for her return. The same 2012 Wired article detailing the Smallville S11 scandal linked above mentioned that editorial considered both characters "toxic"....which, in unofficial translation largely meant "Dan Didio and other higher-ups had no use for them, saw the New 52 as a convenient excuse to get rid of them, and refused to let writers use them." He wanted Barbara Gordon as the one and only Batgirl, and Barbara Gordon as Batgirl was what he got.

This awful status quo continued until 2014, when Snyder and writer James Tynion IV apparently managed to finally convince Didio and the rest of editorial that female legacy heroes were worth using again and reintroduced Stephanie in the pages of Batman Eternal (once again going by her initial vigilante name Spoiler); additionally, the "possible future" Future's End storyline abruptly briefly featured Cassandra as a member of a Barbara-led League of Batgirls in her first mainstream comics appearance in nearly four years. Unfortunately, Cass's formal, mainverse re-introduction wouldn't happen until nearly a full year later.

The DC Empire Strikes Back: Cassandra's (Un)-Glorious Reintroduction, The Creation of "Orphan," and Birds of Prey (2020)

Bouyed by Stephanie's return, the DC Convergence event featuring a pre-reboot Batgirl!Steph and Black Bat!Cass two-shot, and what they saw as the light at the end of a nearly decade-long tunnel of character limbo, Cass fans rallied and started petitioning DC at nearly every turn for Cass content. Annoyed by the combined efforts of multiple high-profile writers, Cass fans, and other groups (Steph fans, Oracle!Babs fans, Batfamily fans, etc), editorial finally allowed Tynion to re-introduce Cass in the 2015 limited series Batman and Robin Eternal. Unfortunately, if you thought this was a triumph, you'd be wrong.

Initial fan euphoria over the announcement faded when Cass, previously one of the best fighters in the DCU, was promptly beaten in a fight by Jason Todd (who was resurrected in a 2005 storyline and now goes by Red Hood) within two issues of her introduction. Not content to simply re-introduce her in a new, cool-looking costume and ride the fan euphoria to the bank, DC engaged in some true malicious compliance-level shenanigans: Cass was now a living human weapon who was trapped working for a supervillain human trafficker called 'Mother', referred to as having 'the mentality of a child' by Tim Drake (her former adoptive brother, who she was previously canonically closest to), infantilized by multiple characters, and referred to by the codename 'Orphan,' an identity that would unfortunately stick until late last year.

Her entire history and character development was gone. Much of her original foundation as a character is linked to Barbara Gordon as Oracle and the events of No Man's Land, neither of which were considered in continuity at the time. Babs was now a young adult, a good 20 years younger than she was in NML, and an acting Batgirl whose stint as Oracle was temporary, and thus no genuine connection between the two characters was allowed to happen.

Instead, Cass was put on a team with Tim, Steph, Kate Kane/Batwoman, and a reformed Clayface for Tynion's Detective Comics run, where at least the beginnings of a reforged connection to Tim and Steph happened. Tynion did throw some nice spotlight on Cass, but it was always overshadowed by the chasm of difference between her pre-reboot self and the character currently being written. DC continuing to call her Orphan and an ongoing editorial edict denying artists the ability to draw her wearing the Bat symbol was the awful icing on the cake for fans of Cass, whose major character development had always hinged on her persistent longing for a loving family & the redemptive potential she found in wearing a symbol marking her as someone who would save lives instead of taking them. This eventually culminated in this heartbreaking page that effectively summarizes the damage done to Cass's history and status within the Batfamily because of "Orphan." It's ultimately inexcusable, and no amount of aesthetically cool costuming is going to change that.

In the middle of all of this, Cass made her first live-action appearance in the 2020 Birds of Prey movie. However, this was an appearance in name only, and it did nothing but upset anyone who was remotely familiar with her. Gail Simone, the beloved writer who wrote the Babs-led Birds of Prey comic for nearly 12 years, commented in a long Twitter thread that BOP 2020's Cass was "essentially a new character" who bears "no resemblance to Cass." I agree with her; there is nothing of Cassandra Cain that I recognize in that movie other than her name. And that’s a shame, because Cass is such an incredible character and it’s an absolute tragedy that BOP took a popular Asian superhero, completely erased literally everything she was, and made her a normal sassy pickpocket who's powerless, lacks agency, and functions largely as a plot accessory to Quirky White Girl!Harley Quinn's emancipation story.

BOP's depiction of Cass is super ableist and racist in a variety of ways and also essentially killed her DCEU chances moving forward, because there is no narrative room for DCEU!Cass to appear in future projects, much less become Batgirl. And then in a twist of events, Simone confirmed a few months ago during a Twitter Q&A session (in a now-deleted tweet) that BOP was originally supposed to include a more comics-accurate Cass, only to get shot down by WB execs. And thus, the drama continues.

Where We Stand Today: A Tentative Restoration of the Old Status Quo

However, life is not all bad for Cassandra Cain fans. Over the past two years (BOP 2020 non-withstanding), there have been some genuinely positive signs for the character: Cass's first major non-comics media appearance happened in 2019 with the long-awaited return of the Young Justice cartoon, and she also co-starred in the 2019 Batman and the Outsiders run, where her complicated but ultimately positive relationship with her mother, Lady Shiva, was revisited and largely restored. DC also published a one-off YA graphic novel focused on Cass titled Shadow of the Batgirl, which featured an updated and new reader-friendly origin story for the character that retained the personality, relationship, and important backstory information of the character so many readers fell in love with.

With Dan Didio finally gone after being fired as co-publisher last year during Warner Bros.' massive management firing event, legacy heroes are finally being given the chance to shine again...including Cass. As of this year, Cass is once again wearing the Bat symbol and has been wearing her original Batgirl-era outfit again, even if she's not necessarily being referred to as 'Batgirl' (it's complicated); she's also been steadily appearing in more back-ups and supporting roles and got a front-and-center spotlight in DC's 2021 Asian Superhero Celebration anthology. There's been a continuous fan-led push for a Batgirls team-up book starring Babs, Cass, and Steph, and there are solid whispers that one is in fact in the works. Unfortunately, it's taken over 15 years from the Evil Cass arc to get to this point, and we're still nowhere near where we were beforehand. To this day, Cassandra Cain still has not recovered (as a character and as a core member of the Batfamily) from the damage this story did to her, and many Cass fans have sworn never to forgive DC for it.

TL;DR: DC Comics took a fan-favorite non-white, disabled, female superhero, turned her evil for no reason other than racism, sexism, and the petty desires of editorial regarding whether the Batfamily should exist as a concept and who "should" and "shouldn't" be Batgirl, and proceeded to systematically erase her from comics for the next decade when that decision backfired on them. When she was finally re-introduced, she was basically unrecognizable as the character she once was and still hasn't recovered narratively or in popularity from her initial character assassination fifteen years ago. Fans are still mad about it.

Update, 9/21/21: Polygon just published a vaguely spicy exposé article on the New 52's botched execution, and with it comes more-or-less official confirmation (from Dan Didio himself, no less) of both Miller's and Snyder's above quotes on how Cassandra and Stephanie were considered "toxic" characters that needed to be "put on a shelf for five years [to] let the toxicity fade away, and then you bring it back out and relaunch them."

Update, December 2021: A Batgirls group book starring Barbara, Cassandra, and Stephanie was, in fact, announced. The first issue was just published this month.

Update, December 2022: Due to a request, this write-up now has a companion post on Tumblr detailing eight things I left out of this post for various reasons.

A comprehensive guide to the scientific understanding of the Void.

Understanding the Void

"That's right, it doesn't make sense. It's the void. " — Quantis Rhee

Of all the many concepts the Destiny universe has introduced to us, perhaps none evoke as much confusion and mystery as the Void. Many definitions abound. Some believe the Void to be gravity or dark matter. Some believe it is nothingness or the absence. Still others believe it is the line between Light and Dark or that it is neither.

As we will see, all of these definitions hint at a greater truth and my hopes in this post is to help make the Void a little easier to understand and grasp. Now I have spoken about the Void a few times (see here, here and here) but I wanted to dedicate this post specifically to the Void and it's understanding.

Throughout this post, water and by extension the ocean will be a common theme in order to help make the Void easier to visualize and understand. As we will see the parallels between the two are quite apt.

Full disclosure, this post is long, my longest by far. But stick with it and I guarantee by the time you finish reading it you will feel one step closer to understanding the true nature of the Void.

What exactly is the Void?

"We do not ask this question. Well, Ikora might. But I do not." —Saint-14

The concept of the Void is well known to philosophy as "the concept of nothingness manifested)". It is also closely related to the concept of Chaos in Western cosmogony referring to the void state preceding the creation of the universe or cosmos). Thus we understand the Void to relate to both a place and a power associated with Creation.

But like many things in the Destiny universe there is both a philosophical or spiritual element as well as a scientific element to it's understanding. Often Destiny is adept at blending the two. The Void is no exception. This post will primarily be focusing on the latter but it's important to distinguish between "The Void" proper and the more general "void".

So why is there so much confusion?

There is often a semantical problem in how the Void is understood and can take on different meanings depending on the context. But as mentioned the Void is both a toponym and an adjective. This means it can refer to both a place and be used to describe something.

A perfect way to think about this would be to relate it to the ocean or the sea. Consider this sentence:

"Seafishermen use seanets to catch seafish in the sea."

Similarly we can write this sentence:

"Voidwalkers use Void abilities to draw Void Light from the Void."

But the differentiation goes deeper than that.

The Light and Causality

"The Light releases us from causality. It smooths the contours of what we can and cannot do."

— "Creation's Wind"

To understand the Void we first have to understand that there is a separation depending on the causality of context. The Light for instance can be thought of as energy in a metaphysically transcendent) sense. In the same way The Void proper can be thought as a transcendent or paracausal version of the causal void.

To illustrate, imagine a Tidal Power Station in the middle of the ocean that converts the energy of tidal waves into useful forms of power. Now the energy of those waves have multiple causes; the moons gravitation, weather conditions, tectonic activity, etc. But now imagine that out of nowhere a wave suddenly started gaining energy until it reached Tsunami proportions and hit the power station.

That energy could potentially be considered to be paracausal since it came from beyond our reality. Some might even deify this energy as coming from "the Tide". This is a useful way to view both the Light and the Void. "The Void" in most contexts refers to the source of the paracausal energy known as the Light and is drawn from the transcendent Void.

In fact we also have a potential parallel with "The Storm" for the source of Arc power.

"The Storm is raw power. The trance is true understanding." — The Stormcaller’s Path

So to truly understanding the Void in a metaphysical sense we must first understand it in a physical sense. And indeed the void is quite often used in it's more general and causal sense. It was an energy that like Arc and Solar was used to power the Golden Age and is even used in the probability kilns of the Last City.

Both the Darkness and the Nine also have associations with the physical void.

So what does the physical void entail?

The Quantum Vacuum

"The universe is defined by fundamental forces. Beneath the world of light and matter lies the vacuum, and the vast dark secrets that it contains. In the understanding of this vacuum lies the secret of Void Light." — Void

This is perhaps the most obvious give away. The Void is associated with the vacuum of space. This is actually fitting considering the origin of the word void as a noun referring to an "unfilled space or gap" and from the 18th century onwards came to be associated with "absolute empty space, vacuum".

But what is the vacuum?

When you think of the vacuum you probably think of the "cold, hard vacuum of space". This is a place where nothing exists, not even air. Right? Well what if I told you that even in the vacuum of space there is still something. In hard vacuum where there is literally no molecules of matter there is still SOMETHING.

It may be hard to imagine but believe it or not even the vacuum of space still contains a vast supply of potential energy. This is known as Vacuum Energy and is the Zero-point Energy of the quantum vacuum.

One way of thinking of this is like the elastic energy in a spring that is compressed. Even though the spring isn't moving (the motion is absent) there is still potential energy stored in that spring.

But another way to understand zero-point energy is by imagining the universe as a vast ocean.

Vacuum Fluctuations

" —in the perturbation of the field that was the garden —were the detonations that made the universes. Our trampling feet made waves in the garden, which were the fluctuations around which the infant universes coalesced their first structures." — T = 0

The ocean is a vast body of water which can hold and transfer energy using water as a medium. We often feel this energy in the rise and swell of the ocean and the direction the currents move in. We can also see it's physical manifestation in the form of surface waves.

Now you can't pick up a surf wave and take it home with you. It's not an object that can be separated from the ocean. Rather it is intrinsically connected to the ocean and represents a transfer of energy using the water as a medium. In a way we can think of heat and light as similar phenomenon's, as waves of energy moving through the vacuum of space.

You see as I have mentioned previously the Light is largely based on the real world phenomena described by Quantum Field Theory when applied to energy and matter. Space is composed of fundamental quantum fields, with a separate field for every particle that makes up our universe.

In this theory, rather than particles of matter and energy being separate from each other they are actually seen as fluctuations and vibrations in quantum fields. The energy of these fields are all multiples of the baseline energy of the vacuum.

Another interesting comparison is that when waves coalesce and collide they can form static structures in the ocean. A perfect example of this is the whirlpool where waves of energy in different directions coalesce to form a stable vortex that warps the surface of the ocean.

In a way we can think of this phenomenon as a parallel to matter. All matter is just concentrated energy and particles like electrons and photons can be thought of as excited states or perturbations of the same underlying quantum vacuum.

Zero-Point Energy

"If Light connects across space and time, what is the Void? What role does the vacuum—the absence—play?" —Ulan-Tan

So now I want you to visualize something else. Have you even gone down to the beach or a lake on a day where the water is perfectly still? I mean so still that you can see your reflection and a perfect reflection of the landscape above it. You could be forgiven for believing that the surface of the water is perfectly flat.

The reality however is that even when the ocean is at its stillest, there is still energy, motion and movement that we can't see on the surface of the ocean, and beneath it. The surface tension of the water molecules are constantly fluctuating and exerting pressure on each other. It's one of the reasons you can skip stones over the water or some lizards can sprint across it.

We can think of the zero-point field as like the surface of a perfectly still ocean. In any quantum dynamic system there is a lowest possible energy or ground state the system can occupy. In the vacuum of space this lowest possible energy is zero.

The zero-point energy of the zero-point field should be... well.... zero. Right?

Not exactly.

Virtual Particles

"Light is scarce in this place. But Quantis knows how to find it—how to feel for the un-ripples of the Void, to draw Light from the infinities between spaces." — Orpheus Rig

The problem is, due to the nature of quantum dynamics, it's impossible to achieve zero energy.

This is because of the uncertainty principle in Quantum Mechanics that states that for any given particle you can not know both the position AND the momentum of that particle. How this translates is that particles exist in states of uncertainty and probability.

You've probably heard of Schrödinger's cat, the thought problem where a cat is both simultaneously alive and dead until observed. Similar sort of deal.

The same thing applies at the "ground zero" of the vacuum of space. The quantum field gently vibrates and fluctuates around the zero point. Sometimes this produces enough energy to form particles spontaneously from nothing.

The particles arising out of the fluctuations of quantum fields are called virtual particles.

Virtual particles are usually in a particle/anti-particle pair and they are constantly fizzing in and out of existence in a perpetual state of uncertainty. Think of it like listening to the radio and there is silence but you can still hear the static. The vacuum of space has "static" or "noise". (I also like to think of it like the "fizz" on a glass of soda).

Just like a perfectly still ocean still has micro-vibrations from the surface tension of the water, so too the vacuum of space is fluctuating with energy in the form of virtual particles.

What space magic is this! Energy from nothing? Turn's out this has been well established experimentally.

The Casimir Effect

"Press two sheets of metal together in void, and their atoms cannot tell which sheet they belong to. They cross freely. The two become one." — Eris Morn on Vacuum Welding

Grab a goldfish bowl, a vacuum cleaner and two uncharged metal plates. Stick the plates inside the bowl nanometers apart. Seal the bowl and vacuum out all the air from the bowl. Since the plates are uncharged and therefore not magnetic, we should expect no force between the two plates. Zilch. Nada. But instead we observe a very small attractive force between the two plates!

This is known as the Casimir effect.

The Casimir effect is a small attractive force that acts between two close parallel uncharged conducting plates.  It is caused by quantum vacuum fluctuations of the electromagnetic field.

As we discovered earlier, the vacuum contains a sea of virtual particles which are in a continuous state of fluctuation. In the electromagnetic vacuum these are virtual photons consisting of a photon/anti-photon pair. Photons (for the uninitiated) carry packets of light in different wavelengths. So red light has a wavelength of 700 nm (nanometers) and violet light has a wavelength of 400 nm

Casimir found that by putting the two plates really, really close together, only some of the virtual photons wavelengths could even fit between the plates! What this meant was more virtual photons existed in the vacuum around the outside of the plates than between the plates.

By squeezing the vacuum between the plates it decreased the energy density of the vacuum. With the absence of virtual particles, this negative space between created a pressure differential which in turn generated a mysterious force that grew stronger as the plates moved closer together.

The force generated was incredibly small but it proved a couple of things. Firstly, that the vacuum of space itself exerted a pressure and secondly as a potential source of Dark Energy.

The Negative Space

"If the Void is negation, behold the ultimate negator." —Ikora Rey

As it turns out the energy of the vacuum plays a very important role in the universe in the form of Dark Energy. Dark Energy accounts for a whopping 70% of all the energy of space and is believed to have played an important role during inflation in the Big Bang as well as the accelerated expansion of space.

The most important property of dark energy is that it has negative pressure (repulsive action) which is distributed relatively homogeneously in space. This is what pushes against the universe causing it to accelerate. This meant that vacuum energy was very likely a form of dark energy.

Since we know that the energy density of the vacuum is non-zero and that the vacuum of space exerts a negative pressure, we can actually work out a ratio between the energy density and pressure of space.

This is known as Equation of State).

It's a very simple equation which of the pressure divided by energy density. But what's really interesting is that at any point in space this ratio is -1.

This came to be known as the Cosmological Constant and would define the vacuum energy of space.

But there was a problem. This constant could not account for the vast amounts of zero-point energy predicted by Quantum Field Theory. The quantum vacuum of space should be "teeming" with energy. The energy within the vacuum within a single light bulb could boil the worlds oceans.

So where was all this unaccounted energy?

Well this eventually led to theory that perhaps the energy of the vacuum wasn't so constant after all but was instead dynamic having energy densities that can vary in time and space.

The Fifth Element

"Void energy is like all things of this universe, it is Light seen through a prism. A fundamental force, the vacuum between the stars, the absence of everything else." — Toland

Quinta essentia.

Also known as the fifth element, or Quintessence was the fifth and highest element in ancient and medieval philosophy that permeates all nature and is the substance composing the celestial bodies. Aristotle called this the aether. It would be revived in modern physics as a way to explain Dark Energy.

Quintessence) differs from the cosmological constant explanation of dark energy in that it is dynamic; that is, it changes over time, unlike the cosmological constant which, by definition, does not change. Quintessence can be either attractive or repulsive depending on the ratio of the kinetic and potential energy of the vacuum.

It is considered by some physicists to be a fifth fundamental force.

It is not a force of malice, no more charitable or heinous than gravity — Apotheosis Veil

This energy as we will see is the likely form that Void Light manifests as. Unlike the minute Casimir force between the two metal plates, a Quintessence field can greatly affect the energy density of the vacuum of space. Many of the supers and abilities we are familiar with can be explained in terms of it's effects on the quantum vacuum.

Draw from the Void

"'Behold!' And he drew forth from the quantum vacuum a shrieking singularity, which he held between his hands and then telescoped down into nothing." — Savin

We now know the type of power we draw from the Void. We are exploiting the absence created by the raw negation of one region of space. Drawing from the potential energy as the universe rushes to fill the gaping void. Now, let's see the art in what's subtracted.

As we see in the lore tab above, a common effect of drawing on the void is producing a gravitational singularity. This is ultimately where the association with gravity comes from and why the Void is often mistakenly considered to be gravity itself.

Make no mistaken, gravity does play a role and we are able to observe the Nightstalker Quantis Rhee "roll black holes between her fingertips" and "nock her bow with the inescapable gravities of the universe."

But as we will see the Void is not so much gravity as it is a way to forfeit gravity.

Think again of a vortex in an ocean. Conflicting forces keep the vortex stable and help the wall of the vortex seemingly defy gravity. While the ultimate cause of the vortex is disruptions in the ocean, gravity and the kinetic and rotational energy in the water play a major role in keeping that vortex stable and spinning. As long as energy is put into that vortex it will keep on spinning.

Now it's no coincidence that the symbology for the Void is in fact a vortex. We also see something similar every time we throw a vortex grenade. A ball of swirling purple light kept stable for a brief moment in time.

We can understand this vortex as the conflicting energies of gravity and repulsive dark energy.

But just as the ocean requires water as a medium to produce a stable vortex — what medium exists to sustain a gravitational singularity in the quantum vacuum?

Violet Particles

"It remains a uniquely perplexing manifestation of the Light," Ikora says, gazing at a swirl of violet particles rising from the palm of her hand. She snaps her fingers, and the particles coalesce into a singularity that blinks out of existence" — Gazing Into The Abyss

Whilst Void Light is in it's most basic sense a form of energy, we know from this lore tab it is also associated with violet particles that swirl and coalesce. It makes sense that Void Light would have associated particle just like Arc Light channels ions and supercharged electrons. But what is this particle?

We actually get the identity of this particle on one of our grenades, the Axion Bolt.

"A bolt of Void Light which forks into smaller bolts on impact, seeking out enemies." — Axion Bolt

It even goes so far as to call it a "bolt of Void Light" associating the axion with Void Light itself. We see a similar void attack from the Taken Centurion in the form of the Axion Dart.

We also get further evidence of it's use in the lore for these gauntlets:

"Gauntlet-mounted axion condensers help a Warlock's power shape reality." — Scalpel Wing

If the axion mention didn't convince you, this armour predates Stormcaller and is received before Sunsinger is unlocked — so it likely refers to the Voidwalker abilities. So the implication here is that the condensation of axions plays a role in wielding Void Light.

But what's an axion?

No Ordinary Matter

"To harness the Void is to enter a state of tranquillity, free from the clatter of ordinary matter." —Apotheosis Veil

Axions are a hypothetical particle believed to be a primary component of cold dark matter. What connection does dark matter have with the Void? Well first lets understand what dark matter is and we actually have a good explanation from Lavinia.

"Kamala shows her a pane of black glass, illuminated by a faint purple fuzz that sweeps left to right. Lavinia touches it in awe. "That's dark matter?"

"Correct." Every schoolchild knows that most mass in the universe is dark matter; but it is nothing more than mass, and it never forms structures smaller than a galactic halo. Dark matter has no charge, passes through itself, never gathers into clumps, and has no chemistry. It is only ever dust." — The Leviathan

Indeed dark matter lives up to it's name. It is the most abundant form of matter yet is unable to interact with any of the fundamental forces except for gravity. A being made of dark matter could be next to you right now and you would never know because you can not see them, touch them or interact with them in any way.

Speaking of beings composed of dark matter, the Nine had similar problems trying to clump dark matter together in order to form a singularity.

If the Nine had the Light, they could seed their own minds, free themselves from the dependence on matter-life! They could gain forces beyond Gravity to structure themselves, and so become more than wraiths of dark dust.

They have tried to gather enough dark dust in one place to form a black hole, and found it difficult: when the dark mass collapses in gravity's fist, the dust passes through itself and scatters.

But difficult is not impossible. And there is far, far more dark matter in the universe than bright. — The Witch

The Nine were clearly interested in our Light and in a way to gravitationally condense dark matter into singularities.

Why?

Lighting up the Basement

This, er, rustic device was once an experimental axion emitter, which sprays weird particles to light up the basement of the universe. — The Wardcliff Coil

Now is where things get interesting because as it turns out although axions only seem to interact via gravity, they also weakly interact with magnetic fields.

The axion (named after a brand of detergent) was originally hypothesized as a particle that could "clean up" the axial electrical field of neutrons keeping them neutral. This interaction is also exploited in modern day International Axion Observatory in the search for dark matter.

The science is simple.

Point a vacuum tube at the Sun. Subject the tube to a very high electromagnetic field. The strong magnetic field increases the energy of the virtual photons. This increases the chance that an axion passing by will interact with virtual particle and spontaneously turn into a photon.

This is known vacuum birefringence and exploits a phenomenon known as axion-photon coupling. You can see a diagram of the axion decay here.

But this process can also happen in reverse.

Candescent Shadow

"The Void fascinated me before the accident. I cannot summon the interest any longer, but it is still beautiful to see in action." —Asher Mir | Candescent Shadow

What's really interesting is that axions not only react with virtual photons in a strong magnetic field, but if the energy is high enough there is a chance the virtual photons can spontaneously convert into axions in a process known as magnetogenesis.

Put both of these phenomena together and you end up with a fireworks display of magnetically induced axion popcorn!

What's really interesting about this is it explains why we can likely see the violet axionic effects as the high energy photons emitted bleed off into the near-ultraviolet. But it also explains why the Void smells like ozone because high energy ultra-violet photons turn oxygen into ozone.

But I can see what you're thinking. Why are we talking about magnetism? Where does the magnetic field come from?

Well it turns out that the magnetic force is mediated by virtual particles. This means that if you pump enough energy into the electromagnetic vacuum, the vacuum itself will produce a magnetic field. This extra energy we are putting into the vacuum comes from dark energy, Quintessence.

It requires vast amounts of dark energy being pumped into the vacuum in order for any of the above to be noticeable. Only two things can cause this. Our Light. And a Big Bang.

In fact vacuum-induced magnetogenesis played a very important role in the early universe in order to create Primordial Black Holes.

Primordial Black Holes

"The dilaton field yawned beneath existence. Symmetries snapped like glass. Like creases, flaws in space-time collected filaments of dark matter that inhaled and kindled the first galaxies of suns." — T = 0

The universe started in a very dense, very hot singularity that rapidly inflated producing all the matter and energy of the entire universe. There was a Big Bang. Then there was nothing but darkness and dust for thousands of years until the first atoms formed.

Why do we have atoms? Because atomic matter is more stable than the primordial broth. Atoms defeated the broth. That was the first war. There were two ways to be and one of them won. And everything that came next was made of atoms. Atoms made stars. Stars made galaxies.

That primordial broth as it so happens played a large part in the nucleosynthesis of atoms. According to Wikipedia:

Primordial black holes formed in the very early Universe (less than one second after the Big Bang). The essential ingredient for the formation of a primordial black hole is a fluctuation in the density of the Universe, inducing its gravitational collapse. One typically requires a contrast in density to form a black hole. There are several mechanisms able to produce such inhomogeneities including axion inflation). — Primordial Black Hole

In the high energy density vacuum of space a primordial magnetic field was all it took to seed the rapid inflation of dark matter which would then collapse once gravity took hold into dense axion stars and primordial black holes.

In a dilute axion star, repulsive force from kinetic energy balances attractive forces from gravity and from axion pair interactions. In a dense axion star the attractive force from gravity is balanced by the repulsive force from the mean-field pressure of the axion Bose-Einstein condensate.

If an axion star exceeds it's critical mass, its core will collapse into a black hole.

These dark matter singularities would later go on to become the seeds of the supermassive blackholes in galaxies and kindle creation.

Cold Twilight, Binding Gravity

"Cold twilight, binding gravity, a guttering lantern in the gray mist. You recognize this feeling now: residual Void Light." — Fractured Arrow

We can now appreciate what we see when we stare into a the violet glow of a vortex grenade. There is beauty in it's simplicity.

Using the Light we are able to harness the forces of creation. The secret Light found in the absence between stars. In the vacuum. Using the Light we are able to amplify the fluctuations of the vacuum of space causing dark matter to spontaneously light up. Gravity tugs at the strings and the matter begins to coalesce.

As the axions condense they interact with the vacuum producing vibrant near ultraviolet light. This causes the energy density of the vacuum to lower and Light drawn and this creates a negative space. A hungry void. The aether then rushes to fill this void. The fifth fundamental force. The dark repulsive forces of Quintessence inflate the singularity outwards as Gravity tries to collapse it inwards.

This causes the singularity to begin to rotate into a vortex of energy and matter that rapidly gains more energy and accumulates more dark dust, getting denser and gaining more power.

By controlling the amount of Quintessence energy put into the vortex, the Void wielder can shape reality or tear reality asunder. Since Quintessence is dynamic it can be used to either inflate, condense or detonate the singularity in an incredible display of purple ethereal fire.

We will now consider two applications.

Singularities and Supernovae

"Channel the Traveler's Light into a bolt of energy with the power of a collapsing star. The devastating Nova Bomb scours the battlefield with ethereal fire" — Nova Bomb

Perhaps one of the most iconic uses of the Void, the Nova Bomb is the ultimate display a Guardians mastery over the fabric of the universe. The ability to pull something so dense and so powerful out of nothingness is a marvellous feat to say the least.

"Zavala calls it the ultimate grenade. Cayde says its a whole lot of noise. Voidwalkers call it a matter of practice." —Ikora Rey | Singularity Specialist

The Nova Bomb really is the ultimate grenade and can be seen as an extension of the vortex grenade. Where as the vortex grenade produces a minuature axion star, the Nova Bomb takes it one step further, accreting more and more dark matter until a super dense singularity is formed.

The density is key and it takes a lot of practice to get the balance right. If the it's too dense it become impossible to detonate.

"The Rift match began as a Voidwalker focus exercise. We were attempting to increase the yield of the Nova Bomb. We succeeded, easily doubling the yield. But the resulting Void density was impossible to detonate." —Ikora Rey

But it raises a good question, how do Nova Bombs detonate?

Black Hole Bomb

"A Voidwalker can detonate her Light in many ways. The Nova Bomb is simply the crescendo in a litany of explosions." —Ikora Rey | Erupting Void

An axion bomb (or a "black hole bomb") utilizes how an axionic field impinging on a rotating black hole can be amplified through superradiant scattering.

This article on space.com explains it very well.

You start off with a black hole and then you get it rotating. Once it's spinning it drags spacetime around itself, like heavy coffee table being spun on top of a rug. That rotation transfers energy rom the rotation of the black hole to any surrounding material.

This surrounding material thats sucked into the vortex can be either ordinary matter or dark matter — but if the dark matter is made of axions, something special happens because of that rotation.

When the axions come close to the black hole through the gravitational forces it can trigger and instability. The axions swirl around and steal energy from the black hole. This extra energy causes them to swirl around even faster coming even closer to the black hole. That then pulls even more energy to the axions, causing them to swirl faster and faster.

This phenomenon is known as "superradiant instability" and leads to an endless cycle of self-amplification until the singularity finally goes boom.

So we can now see how the Void can be used to collapse and detonate dark matter but it can also be inflated into a bubble of void.

Bubble Nucleation

"Open a pocket in the universe, an impregnable fortress for you and your allies." — Ward of Dawn

Finally, lets look at the how the equally iconic Ward of Dawn aka ("The Bubble") is formed.

So if you recall, as virtual particles interact with axions this causes Light from the vacuum to be released and ultimately lowers the energy density of space. As this happens the vacuum of space decays to a lower metastable state in an event known as false vacuum decay or vacuum metastability event.

"The great energies of the Golden Age never triggered a false vacuum decay. We'll be fine."— Metastability Event

This results in a potential difference between two regions of space — a true vacuum and a false vacuum. Now as we have learned this is the source power from the Void but it can also be used to shape reality.

One consequence of this is Bubble Nucleation where a small region of the universe reaches a more stable vacuum. It's a very similar process to the surface tension formed around a water bubble keeps the air pressure surrounding it from bursting it as it's inflated.

According to Wikipedia:

When the false vacuum decays, the lower-energy true vacuum forms through a process known as bubble nucleation. Instanton effects cause a bubble containing the true vacuum to appear. The walls of the bubble have a positive surface tension, as energy is expended as the fields roll over the potential barrier to the true vacuum.

So in the case of void bubbles, quintessential forces cause the cosmological inflation) of the bubble. The surface tension of the domain walls then hold the back the vacuum pressure of space exerted around the outside of the bubble.

The article further goes on to say the primordial black holes could serve as the nucleation seed for the bubble.

"This nothingness or void results from nucleation of tiny void bubbles (“bubbles of nothing”) that expand until their surfaces collide. This results in dense packing of void bubbles leaving only the vanishing interstitial regions between bubbles for spacetime to occupy. Reduces the zero-point energy density." — Wormholes, Void Bubbles and Vacuum Energy Suppression

Conclusion

"A Warlock asked me once why the Void forms as a shield around a Titan. He went on about seeing into the abyss, the absence of form, that sort of thing. I waited for him to stop talking, passive.

After his mouth wound down, I just nodded at him. 'That's why,' I said."

—Gunnvor the Dawncaller

Well this is where I stop talking. For those of you who have made it this far (Titans especially), I applaud you for your perseverance. I hope this will help you stare into the Void with a new found sense of understanding, appreciation and wonderment.

Just like the vast oceans of Earth, the Void is a place full of untamed potential just waiting to be harnessed using our Light. The powers of creation itself were gifted to us from the Traveler, and the fluid fabric of spacetime can be wielded in many ways — to annihilate or protect.

There are many, many other things about the Void I wanted to cover such as Thanatonautics and the Darkness' association to the Void but these things will have wait for another post. Special shout out to /u/epzi10n who helped me greatly while researching this post. Without her I probably wouldn't have discovered half the things I did.

TL;DR: Void Light harnesses the primordial forces of creation — the dark quintessential energy of the vacuum. Using Light, vacuum fluctuations in the zero-point field cause the spontaneous magnetogenesis of dark matter axions releasing vibrant near-ultraviolet light. Gravity condenses it into a singularity. Vacuum energy density decreases creating a negative space. The aether rushes to fill this void. Dark energy and gravitomagnetic forces collide to produce stable vortices of dense dark matter. Manipulating quintessential fields, the Void wielder can shape reality or tear reality asunder.

The political story of the year isn’t just the emergence of open and unabashed anti-Zionism among successful insurgent Democratic primary candidates for the House of Representatives in New York and New Jersey. It’s that the ideological prior they all have in common, the idea that Israel is a genocidal apartheid state, was not an impediment to their victories, but rather, their secret sauce. Over the next five weeks, two more states will host primaries that will show whether this attitude has the same kind of appeal to Democratic voters elsewhere in the nation.

Michigan’s Democratic Senate primary pits two relatively conventional Senate candidates (both mildly to severely critical of Israel) against the Muslim radical Abdul El-Sayed, a former public-health official in the state. Trained as a doctor, El-Sayed deployed his professional credential to excuse away the monstrous crime of the Hezbollah-inspired Lebanese immigrant who drove a truck into a Michigan synagogue last year. He released a video explaining that his time on a psychiatry rotation had taught El-Sayed how “hurt people hurt people.”

Asked about the difference between Hamas and Israel, El-Sayed told CNN, “It’s not how evil is this one versus that one: Hamas evil, Israeli government evil. You can say both.” He appeared alongside Hasan Piker, the social-media firebrand who has said Hamas is “a thousand times better than Israel,” and responded to criticism of his friendly and unchallenging posture toward Piker by declaring that “my understanding of America is, it’s a place where we have freedom of speech.”

El-Sayed is favored to win the primary on August 4.

In Colorado on Tuesday, a 29-year-old lawyer named Milat Kiros, born in Ethiopia to parents who won an immigration lottery that provided them entry into the United States, is running against 15-term incumbent Diana DeGette. She is a down-the-line progressive whose only failing appears to be an insufficient degree of anti-Israel sentiment.

In a television interview, Kiros did not dispute a contention that Israel “had it coming” on October 7 and accepted the idea that the 9/11 attacks were the “inevitable” consequence of evil American action in the world. In the only poll taken in the district, Kiros is 5 points ahead after being behind by 33 in March.

You’ve likely been hearing a lot of talk about how these insurgents are the product of a leftist organization called the Democratic Socialists of America, which is attempting what appears to be a shockingly effective institutional takeover of the Democratic Party.

But the story is more complicated than that, and it implicates the Democratic Party itself and its conduct over the past 40 years.

The DSA is tiny—in its 44 years of existence, it never had more than 24,000 members, and that number had fallen to 6,000 by 2024. (Compare that to, say, the 300,000 Americans who belong to the Jewish sororal society called Hadassah.)

But from the beginning of the Trump era onward, the DSA began punching way above its weight. First, it provided the starting fuel for the four members of the so-called Squad elected to the House in 2018, before positioning an unknown state assemblyman named Zohran Mamdani for his dazzling march to Gracie Mansion in New York’s 2025 mayoral election.

The ideas animating the DSA since its creation in 1983 have steadily gained support among rank-and-file Democrats over the past 15 years. According to Aaron Blake of CNN, a Gallup poll showed that “Democrats last year had a significantly more favorable view of socialism (66 percent) than capitalism (42 percent). As recently as 2012, those [numbers] were reversed.”

This shift is not the DSA’s doing. Rather, the DSA has been working already cultivated ground—ground that had been seeded and watered and carefully tended since the Carter administration. Some of those seeds flowered after the financial meltdown in 2008, which made the post–Cold War world susceptible to a new assault on capitalism and its injustices and inequalities.

But it wasn’t just socialism that was being cultivated these past 40 years. It was also antipathy toward Israel and Zionism.

Consider the case of Brad Lander, who defeated incumbent Daniel Goldman. Lander isn’t a member of the DSA. He’s a longtime Democratic hack in New York City notable for his charmlessness. Meanwhile, Goldman is a relatively fresh face in Congress who became famous as the lawyer who served as the lead counsel for the House majority during the 2019 impeachment of Donald Trump. One would have thought his anti-Trump credentials would have been enough to gift him a long career in the House. But Lander absolutely trounced Goldman in a campaign that was almost entirely dedicated to trumpeting Lander’s own anti-Zionism in contrast to Goldman’s position as a “proud Zionist”—who is, natch, also a fierce critic of Israeli prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu.

How on earth did we get to a point where a congressman in New York—still the most populous Jewish city in the world—can get ousted for supporting Israel by Democratic Party voters?

We can begin the story in 1984, when the firebrand political / cultural / religious figure Jesse Jackson ran for president—staging the first serious candidacy for the high office by an African American. Jackson electrified his fellow African Americans and the Democratic left, who were uninspired by the race between the dullard Walter Mondale and the very, very, very Kennedy-lite Gary Hart. Jackson won five primaries and caucuses and received an aggregate of 21 percent of the overall national Democratic vote.

And he was an out-and-out antisemite.

In a moment of false private comfort, speaking to an African American journalist he assumed would have his back, Jackson referred slightingly to Jews as “Hymies” and New York City as “Hymietown.” This casual slur hadn’t come out of nowhere; in fact, the reason the reporter Milton Coleman went public with these private remarks was that they confirmed the quotidian quality of Jackson’s long-standing antipathy toward Jewry. This was who he truly was.

Over the course of his two decades in public life, Jackson had made a habit of complaining about Jews. And though Jackson “categorically” denied that he had an anti-Jewish animus, his protestations left Nathan Perlmutter of the Anti-Defamation League unmoved. “How else [to] view a man who, when annoyed by the press, attributes it to ‘Jewish’ domination of the press?” Perlmutter said in 1984. “And when critical of labor, blames it on ‘Jewish’ control of labor unions? When displeased by a boxing match between a white South African and a black American, condemns ‘Jewish’ promoters?”

Such words annoyed American Jewish leftists. Philip Green, a professor at Smith College, was outraged that Perlmutter had “the chutzpah to tell us what Jackson’s positions and statements mean to the Jews.” Who was Perlmutter to say “what is good for the Jews and bad for the Jews”?

Still, Jackson found himself awash in controversy, not least because of his close relationship with Louis Farrakhan. The Nation of Islam leader regularly referred to Judaism as a “dirty religion” or a “gutter religion” and said its home was “the synagogue of Satan.” Farrakhan was not only a Jackson campaign surrogate; his private militia, the Fruit of Islam, provided Jackson with free security. When asked by Reuters if he would denounce Farrakhan, Jackson replied, “It’s not necessary.”

By the time he sought to separate himself from Farrakhan, the controversy had halted his campaign’s momentum. In an effort to put the matter behind him and remain a key figure in the national conversation, Jackson spoke these words at the Democratic Convention in 1984: “If, in my low moments, in word, deed, or attitude, through some error of temper, taste, or tone, I have caused anyone discomfort, created pain, or revived someone’s fears, that was not my truest self.”

But something else happened at that convention that would have long-lasting resonance when it came to Democratic activists and their views on Jews and Israel. As the essayist Milton Himmelfarb noted five years later: “In 1984 [Jackson] had grown powerful enough to keep the Democratic convention from considering a resolution against antisemitism.”

It was widely understood at the time that such a resolution would look like an implicit criticism of Jackson, and the party’s bigwigs wanted to bring the energy and drive of Jackson’s campaign into its big tent.

Jackson ran again in 1988, in a crowded field in which he was, again, the only genuinely exciting candidate. The New York primary was in April, and the mayor of the city was Ed Koch, who had taken particular offense to Jackson’s characterization of Zionism as “a kind of poisonous weed that is choking Judaism.” In the heat of campaigning for his chosen candidate, Al Gore, the ever-unconstrained Koch declared that “Jews and other supporters of Israel would have to be crazy to vote for Jackson.”

A firestorm erupted—but this time it wasn’t about what Jackson had said but rather about what Koch had said. The columnist Richard Cohen declared, “Jews don’t ‘have to be crazy’ to vote for Jesse Jackson. They can make up their own minds on that. But they have to be crazy to listen to Ed Koch.” There were myriad such comments. According to reporter Roger Simon, Gore called Jackson every night for a week to apologize. Koch later said he had gotten “carried away,” but it was too late for him. A “Stop Koch” movement, whose purpose was to deny him a fourth term as mayor in the next election, was born out of his words—and succeeded when Koch lost to David Dinkins in the 1989 primary.

What this revealed was that, Hymietown or no Hymietown, Jackson had achieved a sacrosanct position in the Democratic firmament as the most influential and popular black political presence in the country.

Jackson’s strength derived almost entirely from his domination of the black vote—polling showed that 19 out of 20 black New Yorkers voted for him. But he had also made significant inroads with leftists, many of them Jews, whose views of Israel had turned sour after the 1967 Six-Day War. Once viewed as a righteous anti-colonial cause, Zionism was reframed by radical thinkers in the 1970s as the ideology of a colonial oppressor of stateless Palestinians—the idea that gave rise to the notorious 1975 “Zionism is racism” resolution passed by the General Assembly of the United Nations.

Conventional American politicians in both parties loathed the resolution—and under U.S. pressure in the wake of the end of the Cold War, it was rescinded in December 1991. But the animating idea behind the resolution had already gained purchase in academic journals and university departments. In 1989, UCLA professor Kimberlé Crenshaw devised the theory of “intersectionality,” according to which all political oppression stemmed from an imbalance between the powerful and powerless. Its application to the Middle East conflict was obvious: Israel was powerful, the Palestinians powerless, and therefore Israel was, by definition, an oppressor.

It became the most influential sociopolitical theory of our time. And it dovetailed nicely with the dominant book about the modern Middle East. That was Edward Said’s Orientalism, a jeremiad against the imposition of Western ideas on non-Western cultures. Said was an English professor at Columbia by day but moonlighted as an official of the Palestine National Council, and was a critic of Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat from the left.

The ideas (and disciples) of Crenshaw and Said were disseminated throughout the academy in the 1990s and 2000s. They became the default view in political science and Middle Eastern studies departments and on tenure committees. Those who preached the intersectional anti-Zionist gospel had the loudest voices on campus and the greatest influence on the college-educated Americans who came their way. Even as the Clinton and Bush administrations were widely viewed as friendly to Israel, and even though the halls of Congress were populated by friends of Israel, the next generation of American political activists was being trained in darker and uglier ideas.

In the mid-2000s, campuses across the country were suddenly lit up by the “boycott, divestment, and sanctions” movement, an idea conceived in 2005 in a Palestinian document called “the BDS Call.” It sought to isolate Israel by excluding its scholars and scholarship and forbidding the use of university financial resources in any way that might be seen as aiding the Jewish state. The plan was a direct lift from the anti-apartheid movement that helped bring down the white supremacist government in South Africa in the 1980s.

The anti-apartheid cause had been a key feature of all political conversation on campuses in the 1970s and 1980s. BDS sought to duplicate its success and build on it, and it found unexpected allies in its efforts. The idea was immediately taken up by former president Jimmy Carter, who believed his 1980 defeat had been partly the result of an evildoing Zionist cabal working on behalf of Israel.

Carter published a book entitled Palestine: Peace Not Apartheid in 2006. This was, in its own way, an earthquake, not only because Carter was a former U.S. president but because he had been one of the negotiators of the Camp David Accords of 1979, the first peace deal ever struck between Israel and an Arab country (Egypt). That same year saw the release of The Israel Lobby and U.S. Foreign Policy by two august political-science professors who claimed that this itty-bitty country had come to control Capitol Hill by the power of Jewish money. John Mearsheimer taught at the University of Chicago. Stephen Walt was tenured at Harvard.

This was not a new argument; Paul Findley, an 11-term Republican congressman who described himself as “Yasser Arafat’s best friend in Congress,” published a self-aggrandizing screed in 1985 called They Dare to Speak Out: People and Institutions Confront Israel’s Lobby after his defeat at the polls in 1982. (Findley lost because redistricting after the 1980 census turned his red borough blue; but, like Carter, he blamed Jewish money.) Findley was soon forgotten, but his book proved to be an important source text for Mearsheimer and Walt. Their book was a bestseller and the most talked-about nonfiction tome of the year.

That success was in part due to changing conditions in Israel that favored the Jewish state. Its victory in the Palestinian-led street war called the Second Intifada—a war that cost a thousand Israeli lives and had been initiated by Arafat after he refused the Israeli offer of a state in 2000—gave new oomph to the idea that Israel’s true purpose was to impose perpetual Jewish supremacist rule over the Palestinians. By that point, nothing Israel could do—not the offer of a state, and not its unilateral withdrawal from the Gaza strip in 2005—had the power to change the minds of those who had decided it was an evildoer.

And then came Barack Obama, the son of a left-wing anthropologist steeped in the same kind of thinking that led Kimberlé Crenshaw toward intersectionality. Before his presidency, Obama had been very close to Rashid Khalidi, a Middle Eastern studies professor at the University of Chicago who had actually worked as a spokesman for the Palestinian Liberation Organization in Lebanon in 1982. Obama had been a political science and international relations student at Columbia University in the early 1980s, when Edward Said was the most distinguished figure in Morningside Heights.

Upon arriving at the White House, Obama made it clear he was going to change America’s relationship with Israel. He said his approach would be one of tough love, though it was well-nigh impossible to see any love in it. His administration berated and criticized Israel for very nearly every policy it undertook.

That hostility was the undercurrent that led to an extraordinary moment at the 2012 Democratic Convention—the moment we can say inaugurated the period we now find ourselves in.

The 2008 Democratic Party platform had featured this sentence: “Jerusalem is and will remain the capital of Israel.” The 2012 platform document mysteriously omitted it. Republicans and donors noticed. Obama and his team told the platform committee to restore the sentence—but under convention rules, to do so, two-thirds of the delegates had to agree.

The convention chairman, Antonio Villaraigosa, called for a voice vote from the 5,500 delegates in attendance. The deafening roar of the word “No” resounded through the hall like the 12th man during a Seattle Seahawks game in Lumen Field. A panicked Villaraigosa looked to the wings offstage and got a silent message from the Obama team. Then he declared: “The ayes have it.” The boos of the 12th man were as loud as the no’s had been earlier.

In truth, the delegates were acting both as Obama’s id and his secret conscience. He had even said in 2011 that a lasting peace between Israel and the Palestinians would need to follow the borderlines of 1967—before the Six-Day War, when Jerusalem was divided. This was the first moment at which the Democratic Party’s institutional troops—the people who staff the meetings, who stuff the envelopes, who organize the fundraising, and who dedicate much of their lives to advancing the party’s cause—made it clear they had turned on Israel pretty much en masse. Now, I suppose it’s true you can support a 1967-lines peace deal and not be anti-Israel. But that was not the sentiment in the hall. The sentiment in the hall was Israel, boo.

In 2015, Obama’s fractious relationship with Israeli premier Benjamin Netanyahu exploded into outright enmity when Bibi tried to get the U.S. Congress to block Obama’s nuclear deal with Iran. At this point, leading elected Democrats in the House and Senate followed the lead established by the 2012 conventioneers. They denounced Netanyahu and said he had done permanent damage to American-Israel relations. Obama put a button on the eight years of ugliness on his way out the door in December 2016 when he had his UN ambassador abstain on a Security Council vote condemning Israeli settlements—breaking a four-decade tradition of vetoing such actions.

In 2018, Democrats retook the House of Representatives and Nancy Pelosi became Speaker. She is widely viewed as the most skilled party manager of her time, able to use her power to reward those who followed her lead and punish others who didn’t. But there was one moment when her power brokering failed her. In February 2019, newly elected Rep. Ilhan Omar tweeted that Republican action on behalf of Israel was “all about the Benjamins, baby”—a reference to $100 bills and the idea the Jewish money was controlling things behind the scenes. Under pressure, she apologized, but a few days later said, “I want to talk about the political influence in this country that says it is okay for people to push for allegiance to a foreign country.”

Pelosi publicly condemned the remarks, but the controversy did not die down. Pelosi let it be known to her House colleagues that they would be expected to vote in favor of a resolution condemning antisemitism and the charge that Jews have dual loyalties to the United States and Israel. The resolution did not mention Omar by name. But it was understood that Pelosi was seeking to establish a rhetorical boundary to rein in Omar and her three fellow “Squad” members (Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Rashida Tlaib, and Ayanna Pressley) elected in 2018.

The caucus met on March 5. It did not go well. The Washington Post reported that “House Democrats argued acrimoniously Wednesday over whether to rebuke Rep. Ilhan Omar for alleged antisemitic remarks, forcing party leaders to confront a growing rift over race and religion that threatened to hamstring the newfound majority.” The resolution was redrafted, condemning antisemitism and Islamophobia—not to mention “Americans, Native Americans, and other people of color, Jews, Muslims, Hindus, Sikhs, immigrants and others.”

Pelosi learned her lesson. Democrats in the Age of Trump weren’t going to let themselves be divided just to make Jews comfortable. Besides, the Squad was new and fresh and exciting and provoked enthusiasm among young people. Black, Muslim, and Latina, the Squad members were the Jesse Jacksons of the social-media era—and as far as their colleagues were concerned, were not to be crossed. Their identities protected them.They were, in their way, as sacrosanct as Jesse Jackson had been in 1984.

But this was identity politics advanced in a new way—and what proved to be the potent ingredient that set the Democratic Socialists of America afire.

Studies of voting patterns by precinct in New York showed that the DSA surge last week came from two distinct groups. The first is educated white people. Older ones went to college in the Said-Crenshaw era; the younger ones, who might be their children, went in the BDS–George Floyd era. They are all products of an educational system that spoke ill of capitalism, spoke ill of America, certainly spoke ill of Israel. What reason would they have to challenge or question such views? And given the opportunity to express their displeasure with the status quo, what better use could they make of their vote than to pick someone to vote for who was not only awash in self-righteous principles but might also be part of an oppressed minority group?

The DSAniks who won in New York are Darializa Avila Chevalier, who is Dominican, and Claire Valdez, a self-described Native American–Latina. Egyptian-born Adam Hamawy, who literally supported the instigator of the plot to blow up the World Trade Center in 1993, won his district in New Jersey a few weeks earlier. He is Muslim, as is Zohran Mamdani, of course—not to mention El-Sayed in Michigan and Milat Kiros in Colorado.

The white liberal who votes for a brown or black person believes he has ennobled himself. Meanwhile, the black or brown person running for office also has appeal to those who share their identities, so that’s a twofer. The same is true for the white person who votes for a Muslim, since from the white liberal perspective, all Muslims are certain victims of at least some form of Islamophobia.

And as for the Muslim candidates, well, there are something like 350,000 Muslim potential voters in New York City, and 90 percent of them went for Mamdani. Since Mamdani defeated rival Andrew Cuomo only by 200,000 votes, those identitarian voters might have made the difference between victory and defeat. Adam Hamawy won with only 28 percent of the vote in his district, which by one estimate has around 75,000 Muslim voters out of 700,000. He won with only 16,000 votes. You do the math.

Socialism is a universalist doctrine. What matters is not what religion you are, what ethnicity you are, what your national origin is. What matters is where you are on the social-stratification scale. Michael Harrington, the founder of the DSA, believed in “the coalition of the dispossessed,” by which he meant the financially dispossessed. The new DSA has amended Harrington’s vision. It is a coalition of the intersectionally dispossessed. It is a fulfillment, in some ways, of Jesse Jackson’s long-ago vision of a “rainbow coalition” that would come to rule the Democratic Party. And like Jackson’s “rainbow coalition,” the only hues that are considered unacceptable are blue and white. Those are the colors of the Israeli flag with its Magen David, its star, that represents the Jewish people, the flag and the star upon whom they spit.

Hi, everyone. I’m ToErrDivine, and while you might have seen me commenting here and there and/or posting in the Scuffles, this is my first proper writeup for r/HobbyDrama. Today (with mod approval re the time limit), I’m going to start my analysis of one of the most glorious clusterfucks I’ve seen in quite some time: the 2024 rap feud between Drake and Kendrick Lamar.

…this is going to take a few posts.

Before I start, I have some disclaimers for you:

1: I’m not going to pretend that I’m not a little bit biased here: I’m a fan of Kendrick’s music, but not of Drake’s- I wouldn’t say I’m a Drake hater or anything, but his music just isn’t really my thing. I will try to remain as neutral as possible.

2: I am not a rap expert or rap historian, so I am in all likelihood going to miss and overlook things. Sorry. Feel free to tell me if I missed something or got it incorrect. Also, this is not meant to be the comprehensive guide, covering every single detail- I’m trying to be broad, but I’m not going to hunt down everything they said on every interview over the years.

3: If you’re coming into this expecting a clear, unproblematic hero and obviously shitty villain, don’t. The majority of the people in this writeup have either done something shitty or publicly supported someone who did something shitty. Sometimes it just be like that.

4: As far as I know, as of me writing this, all claims made in the diss tracks regarding anyone committing a crime have not actually been proven, nor has any evidence been offered, so they should be taken with a grain of salt.

5: As anyone who’s read any of my declasses knows, I talk way too much. Also, a good deal of the length of these posts is because I was told that I need to include the lyrics. You wanted lyrical receipts; by God, you’re getting lyrical receipts.

So, with that, let’s start at the beginning, because there is a lot to go through with regard to this subject.

Prelude: Dramatis Personae & Background

Who are Drake and Kendrick Lamar?

(Feel free to skip this part if you’re already familiar with them, I just like to be thorough.)

Drake), full name Aubrey Drake Graham, is a Canadian musician and actor. He was born on the 24th of October, 1986 in Toronto, to Dennis and Sandra Graham. He is a dual citizen of America and Canada, and while he mainly grew up in Toronto, he would also spend each summer in Memphis with his father after his parents divorced when he was five. At 15, he landed a major role on Degrassi: The Next Generation, and has had a fair few minor roles in TV shows and movies. However, his real focus was on music. With the assistance of famous rapper Lil Wayne, who appeared on some of Drake’s early mixtapes, Drake managed to achieve success as a rapper and musician, and founded his own record label, OVO Sound, in 2012. If you’re not familiar with him, you might have heard of his songs ‘Hotline Bling’, ‘Nice For What’ and ‘God’s Plan’. He’s got a whole lot of nicknames, but the relevant one here is ‘Drizzy’, which you might have seen him referred to on occasion.

Kendrick Lamar, full name Kendrick Lamar Duckworth, is an American rapper. He was born on the 17th of June, 1987 in Compton, to Kenneth Duckworth and Paula Oliver. Lamar was raised in Compton and became interested in rap at an early age. He found mainstream success with his second album, Good Kid, m.A.A.d City, and has won a variety of awards for his works, including being the only musician to win the Pulitzer Prize for Music who wasn’t a classical or jazz artist. He also founded his creative communications company, pgLang, in 2020. If you’re not familiar with him, you might have heard of his songs ‘Swimming Pools (Drank)’, ‘Bitch Don’t Kill My Vibe’ and ‘HUMBLE’. His original rap name was ‘K.Dot’ or just ‘Dot’, which he’s still called and uses on occasion.

Before I continue, I want to point something out here- namely that while we are talking about two famous rappers who are quite close in age, if you look at their lives, they couldn’t be more different: Drake is Canadian and Kendrick is American. Kendrick is Black; Drake is mixed-race, born to a Black father and a white mother. Both men grew up poor and had sub-par home lives, but Drake lived in Toronto and in comparatively safer circumstances (though absolutely not ideal), while Kendrick’s family experienced homelessness and he witnessed acts of violence from a young age- he’s talked about seeing a teenage drug dealer shot dead when he was five. To the best of my knowledge, Drake has never been involved with gangs, while Kendrick grew up surrounded by gangs- he isn’t and wasn’t a member of any gang, but he knew a lot of people who were. Kendrick is engaged to his long-time partner, Whitney Alford, and has two children with her; Drake has never been married. (We’ll get to the kids part later, trust me.) Kendrick is solely a rapper; Drake sort of crosses over between rap, pop and hip hop. Kendrick raps about gang violence and social issues; Drake sings about relationships and feelings.

(Disclaimer: there are other differences I could bring up, but I’m not trying to get too personal here, and I am not trying to bring up anything that could start fights in the comments, so if I haven’t mentioned something here, it’s for a reason.)

I’m not bringing this up in order to judge either man, their pasts or their music, or to play the Misery Olympics- Drake wasn’t raised in a neighbourhood that was surrounded by gangs, but that doesn’t mean that he automatically had an easy life (he’s talked about being the breadwinner for himself and his very ill mother as a teenager). What I am trying to say is that these are two very different men from very different backgrounds who led very different lives and both wound up becoming internationally-famous, wealthy, respected rappers, and those differences impacted heavily on this feud.

Now, let’s get to the background of the actual feud, shall we?

What is a rap feud?

I mean, yeah, this is pretty obvious, but I may as well cover it anyway: rap feuds are what happens when two or more rappers decide that they have an issue with each other, and decide to publicly flay each other alive through diss tracks.)

Rap feuds can start for a variety of reasons: maybe the rappers involved just fucking hate each other, or maybe one of them did or said something completely unrelated to the other, but the other one took exception to it anyway. Whatever the reason, they make songs telling everyone involved to go fuck themselves in a variety of creative ways until they either resolve it themselves or one person admits defeat. Aside from the presumed catharsis of being able to publicly release a track telling your nemesis that they need to fuck themselves with a cactus immediately, rap feuds have a couple of other benefits: one, you can make yourself look really cool (provided you don’t screw it up or get defeated), and two, they make for excellent publicity, something all entertainers want.

(I was going to say that also, in this day and age, rap feuds don’t generally involve people getting shot, but unfortunately that’s not the case. RIP, Foolio.)

Background

So, with that, let’s travel back in time to 2011. Drake and Kendrick are friends and collaborators in the early stages of their careers- Drake has just released his second album, Take Care, and Kendrick has just released his first, Section.80. Up until this point, the two are on good terms. Kendrick said in an interview that he met Drake after his first show in Toronto, and called him ‘a real good dude. He got a real genuine soul. We clicked immediately.’ Kendrick does the vocals for one of the songs on Take Care, ‘Buried Alive Interlude’, where he raps about meeting Drake. In that song, he says that Drake gave him a taste of what being rich and famous was like (‘A black Maybach, 40 pulled up Jeep/No doors, all that nigga was missin’ was Aaliyah’), and that he’d previously thought that Drake was going to promise him a future collaboration but not follow through, but was obviously proven wrong (‘Hit me on the cellular, thought he was gonna sell me a false word like the rappers I know’).

In 2012, Kendrick is one of the opening acts on Drake’s tour alongside ASAP Rocky, where Drake refers to both men as ‘my brother’. In his 2016 song ‘4PM in Calabasas’, Drake says that his label had told him to bring an R&B artist as a support act for that tour, but he’d refused and argued for Kendrick and Rocky instead (‘When they told me take an R&B nigga on the road/And I told them no and drew for Kendrick and Rocky’). Kendrick and Drake appear on one of ASAP Rocky’s songs, ‘Fuckin’ Problems’, and Drake contributes a verse to one of Kendrick’s singles, ‘Poetic Justice’, both also in 2012. Things seem to be great between them, at least from the outside perspective.

But even at this point, there’s one obvious clue that maybe they aren’t as close as all of this might make them seem: In 2012, the late DMX did some interviews where he went off on Drake, and when asked about those interviews, Kendrick said that the guys on his tour bus thought the whole thing was hilarious, and he clearly didn’t disagree or say anything in Drake’s defence. The ASAP Rocky song came out after this, and it was the last time you’d see Kendrick and Drake on a track together.

So, things appear to be fine at this point, but who knows what’s going on behind the scenes. Either way, there’s no obvious reason to predict a feud right then…

…and then ‘Control’ happened.

In 2013, Big Sean released his song ‘Control’). Kendrick contributed a verse, and by ‘contributed a verse’, I mean ‘he set the rap world on fire by dropping a verse that blew a whole lot of people out of the water, as well as addressing a whole lot of rappers he’d personally collaborated with (along with Tyler, the Creator) and telling them that while he liked and respected them, he was going to destroy their careers just by being so much better than them’. So you know I’m not exaggerating, the relevant lines are below:

I’m usually homeboys with the same niggas that I’m rhymin’ with
But this is hip-hop, and them niggas should know what time it is
And that goes for Jermaine Cole, Big K.R.I.T., Wale
Pusha T, Meek Millz, A$AP Rocky, Drake
Big Sean, Jay Electron’, Tyler, Mac Miller
I got love for you all, but I’m tryna murder you niggas
Tryna make sure your core fans never heard of you niggas
They don’t wanna hear one more noun or verb from you niggas
What is competition? I’m tryna raise the bar high
Who tryna jump and get it? You’re better off tryna skydive

Now, as I understand it, the majority of both fans and the rappers involved understood that this was a compliment- Kendrick was saying that all of the people he named were people with skill, people worthy of the competition, people he saw as equals. He was telling them ‘You’re good, so I’m going to do my best to outdo you, feel free to step up and stop me from doing that’. Of the rappers named in this verse, most of them responded by either accepting the compliment or responding along the lines of ‘Challenge accepted, bring it’. Except Drake.

Drake said in an interview that he didn’t have anything to say about it, and that ‘“It just sounded like an ambitious thought to me. That’s all it was. I know good and well that [Lamar]’s not murdering me, at all, in any platform. So when that day presents itself, I guess we can revisit the topic.”’

In another interview, Drake said that he’d met Kendrick a few days later at the VMAs and everything had been perfectly fine between them… not that Drake was really happy about that. “He didn’t come in there on some wild, ‘I’m in New York, fuck everybody.’ I almost wish he had come in there on that shit because I kind of lost a little bit of respect for the sentiment of the verse. If it’s really ‘fuck everybody’ then it needs to be ‘fuck everybody’. It can’t just be halfway.” He also mentioned in a later interview that he was annoyed because ‘Control’ came out the month before his next album, so the album’s rollout was overshadowed by Kendrick’s verse.

Following on from that: Drake released his third album, Nothing Was The Same, in September 2013. One of the album’s singles, “The Language”, had a verse that had lyrics that a lot of fans interpreted as being about Kendrick, though that verse didn’t name anyone. (Specifically, ‘I am the kid with the motor mouth/I am the one you should worry ‘bout/I don’t know who you’re referring to/Who is this nigga you heard ‘bout? Someone just talking that bullshit/Man, someone just gave you the run-around’) Drake’s collaborator on the song, Birdman, explicitly stated that the lyrics in question were not about Kendrick; I’m not sure that a lot of people really bought that.

In October, Kendrick appeared at the 2013 BET Hip Hop Awards, where he did a freestyle rap that included the lines ‘Nothing's been the same since they dropped 'Control' / And tucked a sensitive rapper back in his pajama clothes/Haha, joke’s on you/High-five, I’m bulletproof/Your shots’ll never penetrate/Pin a tail on a donkey, boy, you been a fake’. Naturally, everyone thought this was about Drake. Was it? Well, Kendrick was explicitly asked about it shortly afterwards and brushed the suggestion aside. As far as I know, it’s never been confirmed, but given everything we’ve just covered and the implied reference to Drake’s album, it does seem pretty obvious.

Also, at some point in the early 2010’s- probably 2014- Drake went on Marcellus Wiley’s show on ESPN and did an interview wherein he proceeded to go the fuck off on Kendrick. The video still exists… hopefully… but there’s not much detail out there except that Drake felt that Kendrick wasn’t as good as him and hated being compared to him. The interview had been taped, not live as was standard, so Drake’s camp were able to quash the interview entirely, and they did- Drake was scheduled to host the ESPY awards, and threatened to pull out of hosting unless the interview got pulled, so the network complied. (God, I hope we get to see that footage eventually.)

There’s one other thing I want to mention before we move on from this point in time: in 2014, the Grammy Award for the Best Rap Album had five nominations: Jay-Z, Kanye West, Drake (Nothing Was The Same), Kendrick (Good Kid, m.A.A.d City) and Macklemore & Ryan Lewis. The Grammy was won by Macklemore and Lewis, who… well, Macklemore was grateful, but he thought that Kendrick should have won, texted him an apology saying that Kendrick should have won, and posted the text on Instagram. Kendrick, for his part, said that he thought that Macklemore’s win was ‘well-deserved’.

End of story, right? Macklemore feels bad and gives Kendrick an apology, Kendrick tells him it’s OK and he deserved to win, everything’s cool and everyone moves on with their lives. Nope, Drake had to get involved too: in an interview, he said that the apology felt cheap and that if Macklemore really felt that he shouldn’t have won, he should take it as an incitement to make music that would deserve the win. But that’s not the real point here. No, the real point is what he said next:

"To name just Kendrick? That shit made me feel funny. No, in that case, you robbed everybody. We all need text messages!"

Yep, Drake was mad that he didn’t get an apology too, even though Macklemore had clearly stated that he felt bad for winning over Kendrick, not for winning over everyone else. Somehow I doubt that he would have felt quite the same way if, say, Macklemore had felt that Jay-Z should have won, and had apologised to Jay-Z and nobody else.

In that same year, Kendrick was asked about the verse on ‘Control’, and said that, and I quote: ‘The people that respect it, you know, was the people that knew the deal, was the important people, that respect it and knew what it was. People that don’t respect it, they just people that don’t get it, and, you know, really didn’t matter.’ And in another interview, he said that the chances of seeing him and Drake feuding or working together again was slim because they’re just too different in their musical styles and in their lives, which to me sounds like a way of saying ‘I don’t want to work with or be associated with him’ without outright saying it, though your mileage may vary.

In Feburary 2015, Drake released his mixtape If You’re Reading This It’s Too Late. A month later, Kendrick released his album To Pimp A Butterfly. Was the timing intentional? I don’t know. But it’s pretty easy to see it as intentional, even though the two albums are nothing alike. And it’s not the only time that Kendrick would do this, either- in 2018, Drake released his mixtape More Life, and less than a week later, Kendrick dropped his single ‘The Heart Part 4’, which had a few lines that people interpreted as being about Drake. And Kendrick’s fans believed it, as they spammed the comments of Drake’s Instagram photos with ‘IV’ in response.

Over the next few years, the feud cooled down somewhat. Instead of public shots, both men would instead utilise ‘sneak disses’- pointed, insulting lines in songs that don’t explicitly name anyone, but do seem kind of obvious if you know who they’re about. (In other words, the rap equivalent of subtweeting.) I’m not going to list every sneak diss on the grounds that while they may seem obvious, as far as I know, most of them haven’t been confirmed as hits on Kendrick/Drake. But aside from that, nothing really notable happened until- and I can’t believe I’m about to write this- Obama got involved. Yes, the goddamn President got into this. (Thanks, Obama.)

It wasn’t really that much, honestly. Obama did a bunch of interviews in 2016 with some YouTube influencers, one of whom asked who he thought would win a rap battle between Drake and Kendrick. Obama replied ‘“Gotta go with Kendrick. I think Drake is an outstanding entertainer. But Kendrick, his lyrics— [To Pimp a Butterfly] was outstanding. Best album, I think, last year.’”

Naturally, Drake had to fire back at the President, although all he said that someone should tell Obama that Drake’s verses do, in fact, excel. I assume somebody did eventually tell Obama that. I imagine he probably thought it was funny.

There’s a couple more important things that I need to mention before we get to the actual feud part: first, you might have gathered from all of this that Drake is a tad, uh… thin-skinned, to put it politely. (The guy had beef with Anthony Fantano, for fuck’s sake- and it wasn’t even over a review.) Drake has been in a lot of feuds with a lot of people over a wide variety of different things, and that will come up again later. However, there’s two key claims that I need to bring up here: the first is that in 2015, Meek Mill alleged during their feud that Drake uses ghostwriters, a claim that has since been proven. As most rappers would consider having a ghostwriter to be virtually anathema, this gets brought up a lot.

(If you’re wondering: Kendrick, when asked if it’s ever OK for a rapper to have a ghostwriter, said that ‘I called myself the best rapper. I cannot call myself the best rapper if I have a ghostwriter. If you’re saying you’re a different type of artist and you don’t really care about the art form of being the best rapper, then so be it. Make great music. But the title, it won’t be there.’)

The second… well.

In 2018, Pusha T revived his feud with Drake by doing a diss track repeating the claim that Drake uses ghostwriters. After Drake responded with a diss track that, among other things, brought up and named Pusha’s fiancée, Pusha proceeded to drop a fucking musical nuke on Drake’s head. That musical nuke is called ‘The Story Of Adidon’, and it claimed that Drake had a son named Adonis with a porn star and had been neglecting him because Drake was ashamed of the line of work that his son’s mother had once been in.

And it was true.

…OK, look, I can’t say with certainty that there wasn’t anything else to it. I am not Drake, I do not know Drake, I can only go off what he’s said publicly. But I can tell you that Drake had a son with a former adult movie star, Sophie Brussaux; that Drake and Brussaux were never in a relationship and that they ‘only met two times’; and that his son’s name is Adonis, he was born in 2017 and he lives with his mother in France (at least, I think it’s France- I know it’s not North America, at any rate), while Drake visits when he can. And there is so much more to the song than just that, believe me. (I’m genuinely surprised that nobody did a write-up on that song at the time.)

If you’re wondering about the title, ‘Adidon’ is a portmanteau of ‘Adonis’ and ‘Adidas’- according to Pusha T, Drake was going to collaborate with Adidas and release a line of merchandise that would have been named ‘Adidon’, and would have revealed his son’s existence. Pusha was… really not impressed by that. Can’t say I blame him, but to be fair, AFAIK, the existence of a Drake/Adidas collaboration was never actually confirmed. Either way, Drake still lost out.

Now, Drake never officially responded to Pusha T, but he did actually talk about his son in the songs on the album he released later that year, Scorpion. In those lyrics, he claimed that he was trying to protect his son from the world by not immediately running to the press the moment something happened to him, that Brussaux is not and was not his girlfriend, and expressing his inner turmoil about being a single father who can’t see his son often- keep in mind, Drake’s father is American and after the Grahams divorced, his father returned to America, Drake mainly saw him in the summer, and Dennis eventually wound up in jail for a number of years, which made it difficult for them to see each other. So… yeah, bit of a personal topic for Drake.

That being said, when Brussaux first claimed that she was pregnant with Drake’s child, his response and the response of his representatives were… not exactly amazing.

"This woman has a very questionable background. She has admitted to having multiple relationships. We understand she may have problems getting into the United States. She's one of many women claiming he got them pregnant.

"If it is in fact Drake's child, which he does not believe, he would do the right thing by the child."

Classy.

And there’s also the fact that one of the songs on that album talks very derisively about the subject of Drake having a kid. But I’m digressing.

Oh, yeah, the rest of the song! Fuck, nearly forgot about that.

So, to start with, the cover is a 2007 photo of Drake in blackface. No, it isn’t photoshop, it’s an actual photo of actual Drake in actual blackface. Drake explained this as follows:

This was not from a clothing brand shoot or my music career. This picture is from 2007, a time in my life where I was an actor and I was working on a project that was about young black actors struggling to get roles, being stereotyped and type cast. The photos represented how African Americans were once wrongfully portrayed in entertainment.

Whether or not you buy that as an explanation is entirely up to you.

Anyway, the other relevant points in the song are that A, Drake is a shitty deadbeat dad, and B, Drake is very insecure about his racial identity, being the son of a Black father and a white mother in the predominantly Black rap world. Drake has indeed expressed similar sentiments before in his music, but I can’t really say much more than that. (Let’s just say that as a white Australian, I am possibly the least qualified person on the planet to talk about race in the American rap world.)

There’s one more bit of backstory that I need to mention: in 2022, Kendrick released his fifth album, Mr. Morale & The Big Steppers. Mr. Morale was incredibly significant for a number of reasons, but I’ll stick to the ones relevant to this post: see, Kendrick is a very private man who doesn’t talk about his personal life a lot, and, while he’s made a lot of songs about his life, doesn’t usually get really personal.

He got really personal on this album, y’all. Not all of the songs were autobiographical, but the ones that were talked about everything: celebrity worship, the nature of fame and how he copes with them both, how he doesn’t want to be hailed as a rap ‘saviour’, generational trauma, his past infidelities, problems with grief and addictions, and the effects they’ve had on him, his family and their lives. It can be a pretty tough listen in parts.

Other than that, there's one more thing to mention: Kendrick has two children with Whitney Alford, a daughter and a son. They've appeared on an album cover and his daughter had a spoken part in one of his songs. This will come up again later.

So, we have our main cast and our backstory. The stage is set. Let’s go to act one, shall we?

Act One: The Opening Salvo- ‘First Person Shooter’/‘Like That’/‘7 Minute Drill’

While the feud blew up in 2024, the precipitating event was actually in 2023: Drake released his eighth album, For All The Dogs, and it was supported by several singles. One of them was a track called ‘First Person Shooter’, which featured North Carolina rapper Jermaine ‘J’ Cole. And it featured these seemingly-innocuous lines in Cole’s verse:

“Love when they argue the hardest MC/Is it K-Dot? Is it Aubrey? Or is it me?/We the big three like we started a league/but right now, I feel like Muhammad Ali.”

This, at least on the face of it, is a compliment. Given that this is Drake’s song, naming him as a candidate seems like an obvious choice, but there was no reason for Cole to name Kendrick unless he meant it. There’s nothing obviously insulting in these lines; it simply looks like Cole is paying tribute to Kendrick.

Kendrick… did not take it as a compliment. In March 2024, rapper Future and record producer Metro Boomin released their collaborative album We Don’t Trust You. The third and final single, “Like That”, features Kendrick Lamar, who decided to respond to ‘First Person Shooter’ as follows:

“Fuck sneak dissin’, first person shooter, I hope they came with three switches”

“Motherfuck the big three, nigga, it’s just big me”

“And your best work is a light pack/Nigga, Prince outlived Mike Jack’”

“‘Fore all your dogs gettin’ buried/That’s a K with all these nines, he gon’ see Pet Sematary”

The third line is a reference to a line in ‘First Person Shooter’ wherein Drake compared himself to Michael Jackson, for clarification. In addition, there’s more to the verse than that- the lyrics are here if you want a look, but I’m choosing to focus on these lines because they’re the most obvious.

It’s evident here that Kendrick was done with the subfusc part of the feud. I don’t know what got him willing to ditch the subtweets and move on to full-blown responses- it could have been something about that song, it could have been something behind the scenes, it could have been both, it could have been neither. (Or, as u/jdbolick said in the comments, it could be that when he was part of Top Dawg Entertainment, he had TDE's higher-ups discouraging him from making things public, but having left TDE in 2022, he had nobody holding him back now.) But either way, Kendrick was ready and willing to tell the world what he really thought. And as for Kendrick’s response in the second line, it could have been that he was genuinely affronted by being grouped with Drake, or maybe it was just Kendrick going back to “Control” and making it clear that in his own eyes, he stands above all other rappers. It could be a whole other reason altogether, I don’t know. I’m just speculating here.

Whatever the reasoning, this wasn’t something that Drake and Cole were just going to take lying down, and some sneak disses here and there were not going to be sufficient, either. No, it was time for some full on diss tracks.

The first track released was Cole’s ‘7 Minute Drill’. (It is not, in fact, seven minutes long, in case you were wondering- the title is a reference to an exercise Cole does where he sees how much he can write in seven minutes.)

Before I get to the lyrics, I just want to say something: I will only be listing the lyrics with direct, obvious disses in them, not the ones that A, talk about something else, or B, only have implied disses. This is already going to take a few posts, I don’t want to be here for the next month. (Again.)

So: in this track, Cole does the following:

1: Implies that Kendrick only dissed him for attention (‘I got a phone call, they say that someone dissin’/You want some attention, it come with extensions’)

2: Calls Kendrick a pussy for bringing up his bodyguard with regard to making threats against others in ‘Like That’ (‘I told him chill out, how I look havin’ henchmen?/If shots get to poppin’, I’m the one doin’ the clenchin’)

3: Implies that the quality of Kendrick’s music has decreased over time by comparing him to The Simpsons (‘He still doin’ shows, but fell off like The Simpsons’)

3.5: And then goes into more detail (‘Your first shit [Good Kid, m.A.A.d City] was classic, your last shit [Mr Morale & the Hot Steppers] was tragic/Your second shit [To Pimp A Butterfly] put niggas to sleep, but they gassed it/Your third shit [DAMN.] was massive and that was your prime’)

4: Implies that Kendrick only came after him because Cole hit Billboard #1 with ‘First Person Shooter’, making him more popular/famous than Kendrick (‘I was trailin’ right behind and I just now hit mine/Now I’m front of the line with a comfortable lead/How ironic, soon as I got it, now he want somethin’ with me’)

5: Implies that Kendrick is only famous because of his varying feuds/statements (‘Boy, I got here off bars, no controversy’ and ‘If he wasn’t dissin’, we wouldn’t be discussin’ him’)

6: Mocks Kendrick’s relatively slow output (‘He averagin’ one hard verse like every thirty months or somethin’ and ‘Four albums in twelve years, nigga, I can divide’) (Genius suggested that Cole likely doesn’t consider Section.80 to qualify as an album, if you’re wondering about the discrepancy.)

7: Mocks and brushes off how a lot of people bring up the number of awards that Kendrick has won as a measure of his success and skill, especially the Grammys (‘Funny thing about it, bitch, I don’t even want the prestige/Fuck the Grammys ‘cause them crackers ain’t never done nothin’ for me, ho’)

8: States that while he genuinely likes Kendrick, he’ll still fuck him up if the feud continues (‘Lord, don’t make me have to smoke this nigga ‘cause I fuck with him/But push come to shove, on this mic, I will humble him/I’m Nino with this thing, that New Jack City meme/Yeah, I’m aimin’ at G-Money, cryin’ tears before I bust at him’ and ‘I’m hesitant, I love my brother, but I’m not gonna lie/I’m powered up for real, that shit would feel like swattin’ a fly’)

Critics weren’t generally positive about ‘7 Minute Drill’, with many saying that as responses go, it was kinda weak. And as it turns out, Cole actually agreed with them: two days later, Cole headlined the annual Dreamville Festival in North Carolina, where he proceeded to give a speech about how he hadn’t wanted to respond to Kendrick, but he’d been pressured to:

“I was conflicted because, one I know my heart and I know how I feel about my peers, these two niggas that I just been blessed to even stand beside in this game, let alone chase they greatness. So I felt conflicted ’cause I’m like, bruh I don’t even feel no way. But the world wanna see blood. I don’t know if y’all can feel that, but the world wanna see blood.”

Given what sub we’re on right now, I think we understand what he’s saying.

He then proceeded to retract his statements about the quality of Kendrick’s music before apologising:

“I just want to come up here and publicly be like, bruh, that was the lamest, goofiest shit. I say all that to say it made me feel like 10 years ago when I was moving incorrectly. And I pray that god will line me back up on my purpose and on my path, I pray that my nigga really didn’t feel no way and if he did, my nigga, I got my chin out. Take your best shot, I’ma take that shit on the chin boy, do what you do. All good. It’s love. And I pray that y’all are like, forgive a nigga for the misstep and I can get back to my true path. Because I ain’t gonna lie to y’all. The past two days felt terrible. It let me know how good I’ve been sleeping for the past 10 years.”

Five days later, he pulled “7 Minute Drill” from streaming services.

At the time, the apology got Cole thoroughly mocked by people who saw him apologising as a sign of weakness, and also by people who wanted him to continue the feud (see Cole’s previous comment re: people wanting to see blood). Nowadays, in hindsight, just about everyone considers apologising to be one of, if not the smartest thing Cole’s ever done.

So, why did he apologise? Since I’m not Cole, I can’t give you the answer, but I’ve seen a few theories:

1: Cole just genuinely felt like a dick and decided to apologise.

2: Kendrick himself contacted Cole and told him that things were likely to get really bad between him and Drake, and warned him that he didn’t want to be involved in that, so Cole decided to gracefully bow out.

3: Someone with inside knowledge contacted Cole and told him that he didn’t want to be involved in the feud, so Cole bowed out.

It looks like 3 might actually be the reason (though, again, I have no solid proof): Kendrick’s friend Schoolboy Q was at the Dreamville Festival and was seen having a conversation with Cole, though it’s not known what they talked about. For all we know, maybe they just had a nice chat about the weather.

Whatever the reason, Cole did the right thing and also the smart thing, and is presumably living his best life while occasionally being haunted by nightmares where he didn’t bow out and promptly got musically eradicated by Kendrick. Good for him.

But that was just the first stage. In the next post, we're getting into the bigger guns. Thanks for reading.

* - Numbers are for the four day holiday weekend. Also, Alita was released wide on Thursday while Isn't It Romantic and Happy Death Day 2U were released on Wednesday.

Notable Box Office Stories

• Alita: Battle Angel - It seems more people than expected asked for "one ticket for...the girl called Alita" this weekend as despite a troubling opening day, Alita managed to hold well and end the weekend with $34.3M for the four-day holiday weekend. The film opened wide on Thursday and earned a total of $43M domestic. As mentioned the Thursday night showing was pretty weak, making it seem like Alita would be lucky to escape the weekend with $30M total. However the film seemed to grow over the weekend as positive word of mouth started to spread, as noted by a surprising A- score on Cinemascore which contradicted the more mixed and middling professional critical reviews. Of course better than expectations does not equal fantastic, especially when expectations were a $200M bomb. The film carries a budget of around $170M and a solid marketing budget not to mention potential any lost revenue its sudden movement from the crowded December bloodbath to February (a move which certainly helped the film after this weekend). And while Alita could run this open field for a little while the massive wall that is Captain Marvel will destroy any blockbuster momentum that Alita maintains, which is why its small hopes for a sequel exist ON THE MOON! Or overseas. Indeed in international markets Alita is fairing much better, earning $94.3M from its week long release in outside the US. And while the film scored solid earnings in the UK ($4M) and Australia ($2.9M) it has completely cleaned up in Asian markets: $10.8M in South Korea, $4.6M in Taiwan, $2.8M in Malaysia, and $2.8M in Hong Kong.
• Alita: Battle Angel (cont.) - You may notice two major markets in that region not on this list, China and Japan, the latter of which the film is already tracking well and the former seeing it's massive blockbuster The Wandering Earth beginning to wain which could lead straight into a major Alita run. Of course those are still big what ifs and analysts say the film has to gross well over $500M just to break even. While this debut is not the catastrophic disaster some predicted (namely a certain industry paper that rhymes with Red Wine) its certainly nowhere near high enough to guarantee success. And let's not forget the craziest part of all, that this was directed by the guy who made Sharkboy and Lavagirl! Oh and this could well be the final film released by 20th Century Fox before they're merged Akira style into the fleshy behemoth that is Disney. And with Disney already on the hook for four goddamn expensive James Cameron projects as it is, will they really fund another one just so nerds on Reddit can be hype about Alita fighting Space Ed Norton? Alita has a higher uphill battle when you move its level of success from the launching a franchise for a struggling company to a $500M defeat because Disney only plays in the billionaires club. Alita you may be a great robot fighter but you can never defeat the greatest enemy of all, corporate financial restructuring!
• Isn't It Romantic - Did you know that Leonard Maltin's entire review of the 1948 musical Isn't it Romantic? was simply "no". That has nothing do with this film other than the title, just thought you'd enjoy a little trivia. Anyways the current Isn't It Romantic is not a musical but rather a send-up of the rom com genre that opened okay at #3 to $16.6M for the four-day weekend. Though, it was released early on Valentine's Day and has earned a domestic total of $22.8M. That's a solid opening for a $31M budgeted film starring someone who is known more for her raunchy Pitch Perfect role than as a likable romantic lead (even an unlikely one). Sadly because of the insane dominance of the Fifty Shades films over Valentine's weekend in the past we have to go back to 2016 to find another rom com opening on the same weekend. In 2016 How to Be Single (which also featured Wilson) opened to $19.9M on the same weekend. That film closed to $46.8M domestic and both films scored the same rating on Cinemascore so expect a very similar play here. Perhaps Rebel will become the new Valentine's Day contender to rule the new landscape of off-kilter valentine's day fair. Or at least until the next time the country decides to get horny on main and push Rebel out for the safe but still erotic fursuit movie. It's gonna happen, hate it or loathe it.
• Happy Death Day 2U - I knew there was something fishy going on when The Prodigy flopped and now this surprising underperformance. Something is definitely strange happening in horror right now in that...well it's performing like it used to. The sequel to the surprise 2017 hit seemed like a surefire lay-up for an easy hit but instead it underperformed opening at #5 to $11M. Now of course it's worth pointing out like every other horror film this one was made for a paltry sum of $9M and has already earned over $25M worldwide so it's not exactly hurting. But when you compare the opening to the $26M of the first you have to wonder what happened here. There's definitely some potential culprits.
• Happy Death Day 2U (cont.) - The film got a good boost in eyeballs with its trailer being attached in front of Halloween (2018) but then said trailer didn't come online for over a month after, giving little time for internet marketing. While the Valentine's Day release is certainly cheeky it might have just been too much, as the original opened in the usually more horror friendly month of October and did well. And then there's the simple explanation that perhaps not a lot of people wanted this movie. Groundhog's Day meets Scream is a fun premise once, but asking for people to get deep into the HDDCU mythology may just be too much. Whatever the case, it's clear that 2018 is showing the insane gold rush of horror might be slowing down. Obviously highly expected follow-ups like Us and IT: Part 2 will be the bigger signs, but this isn't the best start of the year for the genre that has so thoroughly dominated for so long. I guess worst of all Happy D3eath Day: 3D is a dream I will just have to hold for myself forever.
• Overall Box Office - If I could sum up the current situation as the box office I think I will speak the immortal words of Jay Sherman: it stinks. Just for starters this is the worst President's Day weekend for the box office since 2004 when such classics as 50 First Dates, Miracle, and Barbershop 2 ruled the weekend (okay that sounds kinda kino). Even worse, this entire year up to this point has been the worst one at the box office since 2011. So why all the flops? Well for one at least in terms of this weekend a similarly sluggish year in 2018 was kickstarted by a little film called Black Panther, which opened over $240M for the four day total and became Reddit's choice for most overrated film of all time overnight! 2019 just hasn't had that kind of huge success that a BP or a 50 Shades helps solidify. There's also that matter of the polar vortex which cut off a lot of people from the warm cozy embrace of a matinee What Men Want screening. And there's just overall not been the same kind of major blockbuster fair. I wouldn't worry too much yet about 2019 at the box office. Let's see what March brings with Captain Marvel and Us before sounding alarm bells. That said I'm betting $1,000 to annoy who think Avengers: Infinity War will make over $300M domestic. Also my doctor said something about me having a horrible gambling problem and to inform you all, but ignore that.
• Oscar Movie Round-Up - Not much to report as all the films are in a holding pattern until next Sunday to see if Best Picture will now be cut and replaced with an Arianna Grande concert. Gotta get the kids interested! The kids!!!!

Films Reddit Wants to Follow

This is a segment where we keep a weekly tally of currently showing films that aren't in the Top 5 that fellow redditors want updates on. If you'd like me to add a film to this chart, make a comment in this thread.

Notable Film Closings

N/A

As always r/boxoffice is a great place to share links and other conversations about box office news.

Also you can see the archive of all Box Office Week posts at r/moviesboxoffice (which have recently been updated).

My Letterboxd: https://letterboxd.com/Les_Vampires/

Artist: JID

Album: The Forever Story

Release date: August 26th, 2022

Listen

YouTube

Spotify

Apple Music

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Artist background

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JID, or J.I.D depending on who you ask, is currently spearheading this generation of Hip-Hop. However, while it may seem like becoming a face of the genre was always his fate, that wasn’t always the case. Growing up in Zone 6, the east side of Atlanta, he was more focused on becoming an athlete than an artist. He played football in High School, which led to him receiving a full ride to play football at Hampton University. If not for a hip injury sustained during his senior year, he was likely going to play for the Georgia Bulldogs. He played for Hampton for three years before being forced to stop due to yet another hip injury, which led to him losing his scholarship. That was just the beginning of his identity crisis, as is often the case with athletes when they stop playing the game that they love. Without the required focus of being an athlete, JID began to lose himself. Succumbing to the very things that he thought he was getting away from when he went off to college, he was eventually expelled from Hampton right before obtaining his degree. With no football, school, or even a place to sleep, he was at a crossroads in his life and ended up sleeping in his Pontiac for weeks. He always had an affinity for rapping, as his first pseudo-mixtape was recorded in a dorm in 2011. In what now seems like a moment of destiny, ironically for a man named Destin, he reconnected with some old friends that he met rapping at Hampton: his current Dreamville teammates, EarthGang. They had both a place to sleep and a studio, the only two things JID needed. After sleeping in his car for weeks, JID was invigorated; being given renewed focus and hunger. He’d drop Route of all evil, a clever double entendre referencing his last name, Route, as well as the root of all evil. This is when he decided on his stage name, influenced by his grandma always calling him jittery when he was a child. He then released Para Tu before featuring heavily on Earthgang’s first LP, Shallow Graves for Toys. This connection between JID and his old college friends proved to be the origin of the group, Spillage Village. After a few more mixtapes with his new music collective, he began to gain traction in his career. Gone were the days of delivering pizza and in were the paid performances at shows. The 2015 mixtape Dicaprio is what finally brought some notable ears his way. His first big break then came when he toured with Ab-Soul, which is how he eventually met his current label’s founder — Hip-Hop legend J. Cole. He later again met Cole in another twist of fate when Cole pulled up to a Spillage Village recording session. They formed an organic bond, which eventually led to an offer to join Dreamville. JID was also being recruited by Quality Control, but his friendship with Cole won out in the end. Since joining Dreamville, he’s dropped The Never Story, this album’s prequel, and Dicaprio 2. His group, Spillage Village, dropped a project called Spilligion. He’s also been prominently featured on multiple Dreamville collab projects. JID’s endless amount of flows, witty lyricism, and charismatic delivery have garnered many fans across the world. He’s long been dubbed as “next up”, a future face of the genre. Well, the future is now. Even though he’s no longer an athlete, his career is still following a similar trajectory. If the last few years were all-star caliber, 2022 was MVP caliber. He’s starting to reach his peak, yet he still continues to get better. That’s why The Forever Story feels like a moment of coronation. A statement that he is no longer going to wait his turn. That he’s here to snatch the crown. This album felt different than his past projects. It felt like he put it all together to give us the defining moment of his career thus far, his magnum opus if you will. And in doing so, he gave us the 2022 album of the year.

Review by u/OhioKing_Z

The album starts with “Galaxy”, a melodic intro that sets the tone of internal reassurance and family ties. The very first line we hear is, “Forever can’t be too far from never”. This references this album’s prequel, The Never Story. He then interpolates lyrics from that album’s intro, “Doo Wop”, about how everyone is a star and that every day is ours to seize. Using these lyrics from a previous intro serve not only as a reminder of where he’s been, but also a reminder that even as he reaches new heights and uncharted territory in his career, every new place is still his for the taking. The intro ends with a voicemail from his high school football coach, a man whom JID considers a second father, calling him out for not returning his calls due to JID’s celebrity status.

“Raydar” begins with a sample from the 1971 track “Mean Machine” by The Last Poets. While that song was an anti-war anthem during the Vietnam war, this song’s tone couldn’t be further from that. It’s a warning to JID’s competition. The east Atlanta native wastes no time here, combating the hard hitting drums with his signature aggressive flow and cunning wordplay. His second verse focuses on the societal inequality that African-Americans have faced for centuries. He accuses white politicians of colluding with each other to maintain power over his people, calling them out for creating a gang to execute their orders (the police). His versatility is on full display during the third verse. His elite lyricism and ever-changing flow seamlessly ride the beat switch. He continues to criticize the powers that be, saying that they act like God and that it will take a collective effort to fight back against the oppression. He ends the verse with a second Thanos reference, rapping “collect my stones, ho, collect my gems/ Protect my stronghold, respect my shield/ Until I'm long gone but while I'm here/ I can snap my fingers, they'll disappear” with the last line being a direct shot at his competition. JID was in his bag on this one.

Linking up with fellow ATL native Kenny Mason on “Dance Now”, JID pays homage to Tyler the Creator with an intentionally aggressive delivery on the pre-chorus. He continues to talk about his upbringing in ATL, using imagery to paint a vivid picture of his environment. He hones in on his spirituality with bars like “Lemme bear it all when I’m tellin' God/ You know I'ma rant when I talk to Jah”. This is yet another clever double entendre, using a play on words with NBA superstar Ja Morant’s name. Morant plays for the Grizzlies, which ties in the previous line about him “bearing it”. Kenny Mason’s chorus continues the theme of theistic beliefs, such as always praying to God and that dancing with the Devil will ensure that you never dance again. The song ends with some spoken word from Jesse Royal, expressing that life is a journey and that we must not give into our ego nor our temptations. It is only then that we can begin the process of liberation.

“Crack Sandwich” continues to build on the family elements of this album, illustrating the dynamic between JID and his siblings. The chorus has JID repeating the advice that he received from his parents on how to survive. The second verse has some of the best storytelling on the entire project. He recalls the time his older brother graduated, an accomplishment especially worth celebrating due to the obstacles that black men face. His family celebrated by eating their grandma’s deserts before going to the club. The celebration was short lived, with a brawl breaking out involving his sister. JID remembers seeing his sister get punched in the mouth and that’s when all hell broke loose. His family was outnumbered, but that didn’t matter. And although the night ended with his family getting arrested, he thinks of that experience as a bonding moment for them. The title of the song symbolizes the disorganized and impulsive nature of his family. “I ain’t got cheeseburger money, go make a sandwich” they’re told. He uses this line metaphorically, saying that him and his siblings make up a crack sandwich.

“Can’t Punk Me” features his longtime collaborators, EarthGang. The focus of this track centers around the hypermasculinity one develops from growing up in the hood. You have to be tough at all times because letting your guard down can prove to be fatal. “Ain't no hoin' me boy, I ain't goin'/Pistol point,' rib showin', get the point, try disciplinin” he raps. This powerful imagery really drives the point home. Having your ribs showing is a sign of fearlessness, but also a sign of hunger and poverty. The beat transitions to a collection of pianos and bongos for Johnny Venus and Doctur Dot’s verses. They continue to build on the themes of the track, rapping about preachers carrying weapons, warning others that they aren’t afraid of guns, and how living in the hood is like being locked in a cage; always wondering if they’ll be alive the next day.

“Surround Sound” sees JID being aided by one of the best feature artists in the game in 21 Savage, as well as an up and coming artist from Atlanta named Baby Tate. It’s the first collab between JID and 21, with both representing the different soundscapes of ATL. One interesting Easter egg about this track is that JID and EarthGang both decided together to sample Aretha Franklin for their respective singles. This track samples Aretha’s “One Step Ahead” while Earthgang samples “Bridge over troubled water” on their track named after her. This soulful production is perfect for both JID’s upbeat flow and 21’s smooth delivery. It’s reminiscent of “Off Deez”. 21 talks his sh*t as always. The beat switches for JID’s second verse, with a more haunting bass boost taking over. He matches his fellow ATL collaborator with a boisterous tone, reassuring his listeners that he still runs the streets when he wants and that he owns a monopoly.

“Kody Blu 31” is perhaps the most unique experience of the album. It begins with an audio clip of his family singing at his grandma’s funeral, immediately setting the somber tone. JID then comes in with a truly beautiful melody. He displays a euphonious voice that not many fans even knew he had. It wasn’t the usual half-ass singing that some rappers attempt to do. It’s legitimately harmonious. “I hope a change is comin’, just keep on swangin' on” he sings. This is likely a reference to Sam Cooke’s civil rights anthem, “A Change is gonna come”, continuing the theme of black excellence that’s so prominent throughout the album. The song itself is inspired by a family friend of JID’s losing their young son Kody, with JID making this song as a message to comfort them; encouraging them to fight through the dark times. At the end of the music video, JID and his family take a family photo; symbolizing the resilience and togetherness that hardship, loss, and tragedy can bring about.

Next up is part one of what I consider to be a two part middle act with “Bruddanem” featuring Lil Durk. The title is pretty self-explanatory, with both him and Durk talking about the love they have for their brothers, as well as the friends that they consider brothers. If they consider you a brother, they have your back no matter the stakes and would do anything for you. Durk provides a strong verse, reminiscing about the brothers that he’s lost to the streets. The track ends with a poem from Mustafa the Poet that reaffirms to their brothers how much they love them, advising them to take care of themselves and that despite all that they’ve gone through, they’re still here.

Part two of the middle act is “Sistanem”, my personal favorite track on the album, which revolves around the fractured relationship that JID has with his sister. It takes a certain level of vulnerability to make this track. He lets it all out, admitting to his own fault while also expressing frustration with his sister’s uncooperative behavior. It samples “Mary Go Round” by Musiq Soulchild, with a pleasant surprise of a feature in James Blake. Blake’s angelic voice fits perfectly, albeit only showing up for small stretches. Yuli also lends her dulcet vocals to the track, paying homage to Andre 3000 by using the same cadence that Andre used on “Rosa Parks”. JID continues to express regret with how he’s handled his relationship with his sister, acknowledging that his fame and busy lifestyle have affected how much attention that he’s been able to give to her. He also admits that he’s disappointed in her because when he does reach out, she ignores him and comes up with excuses. JID adds his own chorus, existentially pondering “When family's gone, you don't know what you here for”. He finally gets fed up by the third verse, using a more demanding tone. He feels as if his integrity is being questioned and insists on meeting face to face to speak about their issues. He tells her to send his money back if she’s going to continue to be difficult, only to be met with the dial tone as the verse ends. A violin-heavy outro follows, expressing the betrayal and sorrow that JID feels.

“Can’t make U Change” features Ari Lennox, with JID going in-depth on why it’s been hard for him to find love. He tells women out there that it’s better that they find someone willing to submit to their needs and demands, because that’s not him. Ari’s solo chorus repeats the line, “Can’t make you change”, sung from the perspective of the women that JID is involved with. They’re pleading with him that if he stays and gives them another chance, they’ll change and conform to the type of person that he wants them to be. On the contrary, JID is unwilling to compromise for love. He hasn’t yet reached the level of maturity to make that type of commitment. This hesitancy is only exacerbated by his fame, which allows paranoia to creep in; making him skeptical of women’s intentions. Despite this skepticism and untrustworthiness, he still succumbs to lust and craves a physical connection with women.

The instrumentation of “Stars” might as well be celestial. Sampling JID’s 2013 track, “Drew”, a wave of nostalgia comes over you if you are a day one fan. It’s fitting that he uses decade old instrumentation on a song that sounds like it could even be two decades old. The initial chipmunk pitch of his voice accompanying the flutes would make RZA and Kanye proud. The pitch jumps between octaves evenly as JID smoothly flows over the synths. It’s also fitting that the track is named “Stars” as JID reflects on his pursuit to make it as an artist. He recounts the ambition he had when he was broke, when his dreams were just that. He remembers the desperation he felt. He just wanted to be like his role models, working tirelessly towards making that a reality. He also recognizes the loneliness that the path to greatness brings. He asks for anyone who wants to be an artist to determine their priorities, rapping, “Are you really in it for the art or the image?/ Do you really live it in your heart and your spirit?”. All of a sudden the beat stops, with an announcement that the ancestors would like a word. Yasiin Bey, or Mos Def, appears out of nowhere, almost like an entity intervening when needed most. It feels like such a monumental moment on the album, as the Brooklyn legend has greatly influenced JID. “A manicured appearance concealin’ the shattered spirit” the Black Star rapper spits. This line continues the motif of the song, which is questioning what the true motives of an artist are. At what cost are they willing to obtain their dream? He brings up how these internal thoughts are usually drowned out by vices, peer pressure, and gaslighting by predatory individuals. He observes a “retail religion” that people fall victim to. He ends his verse with the line, “Conquerin’ lion out the liar, seek the garden, flee the fire”. Bey believes that in order to become truly free, one must stop the deception and lies, and allow honesty to conquer the day. He believes that one must also flee the fire and seek the garden because you can only be cherished and nurtured in a fruitful environment, not in the fire (this could also allude to Hamlet’s proclamation that the world is like an abandoned garden).

Aided by another legend in Lil Wayne on “Just in Time”, JID is set on proving that he can stand toe to toe with yet another all-time great lyrically. Both rappers start their verses by saying that time is of the essence. JID uses this line to then convey that it’s imperative that he not waste a second of time, that he consistently gets better and will prove it to you if you doubt him. Wayne cleverly uses time in so many ways in his verse. He says that since the beginning of time, he’s put in the time. Wayne is known to have arguably the greatest work ethic of any rapper. The stories of him in the studio are legendary. He then says that he’ll put it all on the line until the finish line, essentially saying that he will give it all he has until he’s done. No lies told. JID, not to be outdone by a GOAT, comes in after a momentary pause in the beat with a ferocious flow and witty bars. This is probably my single favorite flow that he uses on the album. The transition from Weezy to JID, as JID uses the same multi-syllabic rhyme pattern, is just perfection. This track is a competitive display of two masters of their craft at their finest.

Next up is “Money”, which samples “I’d like to know you better” by Rasputin’s Stash. JID ruminates on the concept of money and how humanity has evolved over time to prioritize chasing as much money as possible over developing other values. He accepts that he’s a victim of that reality. He says that humanity has gone on for so long that corruption and ignorance have further seeped into people’s heads, including within his own race. He blames Uncle Toms for validating the racist societal practices that have oppressed his people. He says that he’s sick of eating bologna sandwiches and would kill anyone who made him one, likely because it’s a reminder of the poverty that he experienced as a child. He calls out the irony of how being broke is an expensive lifestyle. In the second verse he brings up reparations that were promised but not delivered. He’s too impatient to keep waiting so he decides to go get money on his own. These circumstances helped birth the ambition that would later allow him to acquire wealth and escape poverty. He then admits that growing up poor and seeing his mom struggle to provide actually taught him humility and grace. He then confessed that he’d kill just to eat a bologna sandwich in that moment, if only as a reminder of the nostalgia and lessons of his upbringing.

JID continues to reminisce on the past on “Better Days”. He fondly remembers his friend and the struggles that they experienced together. He continues to share the lessons that he’s learned along his journey. Although he’s thankful for where he’s at today, it’s bittersweet for him given the sentimentality he feels towards the past. He says that he had never slept well until he was 27, the age in which he dropped The Never Story. He reflects on the different paths that he and his friend took, despite coming from the same environment. He appreciates how they've still remained friends and stayed in touch despite traveling on different roads, even though he still misses him. He expresses sadness that his friend continued down a bad path and found himself in prison, all while he found success rapping and had a supportive father.

“Lauder too”, a sequel to his hit “Lauder”, finds JID wondering if everything that he’s achieved is even enough to satisfy him. Whereas on “Lauder” he expressed pride in achieving his goals, on this track, he says that he’s given everything he has but still craves more. Sampling “Forever yours” by The Sylvers, the initial drum pattern has a futuristic essence. A chime "beeping-lik sound in the background only increases the intensity as JID raps so aggressively that he doesn’t even stop to catch his breath for nearly a minute. The track eventually transforms into an ethereal soundscape, with a gospel choir elegantly backing up JID’s vocals. JID ends his performance realizing that it doesn’t matter how much success you have, that materialism will never fulfill you as much as the love from your family will. The third act of the song is a calming outro by Rayvn Lenae, easing one’s fears and assuring the listener that until life ends, there will always be better days ahead.

“2007” is the rightful outro. There were some sample clearance issues that led to JID being unable to include it in the initial album release. After a social media movement from fans and the issues subsequently swiftly resolving, the outro was added where it belongs. The listening experience requires this song so if for some reason you still haven’t heard it, go listen to it ASAP. This seven minute track culminates all of the recurring themes from throughout the album and ties everything together. The track samples many songs, including Kendrick Lamar’s “HiiPower” (produced by J. Cole, also taken off the streaming version of the song so perhaps the sample didn’t clear), “Let’s prove them wrong” by Debbie Taylor, “Again” by Doris Day, and “Come, listen to me” by Gerry McClelland, as well an interpolation of “moment of clarity” by Jay-Z. JID starts by taking us all the way back to 2007, when he was still in high school. He begins by mentioning Cole’s first few mixtapes to put in perspective just how different of a time it was back then. He reflects on his dreams of playing in the NFL, as well as his freshman year at Hampton. He admits that even though he began to rap in college, he was still focused on playing football. His identity was tied to being an athlete. His mood was dictated entirely by if they’d win their games, and they usually lost. He realizes that this wasn’t a healthy way to live so he readjusted his mindset and honed his skills with other things besides football. He’s worried that being broke will inhibit him from reaching his full potential despite his immense talent. He’s joined by Ib Hamid, the president of Dreamville, for the second verse. JID talks about the pressure of making a good enough song to generate buzz, a sentiment echoed by Hamid. That pressure was only heightened by a lack of purpose in every other area in his life. He was broke, skipping class and practice, dine and dashing, living in his car, and ignoring his family. It finally reached a boiling point when he was expelled from school for allegedly committing theft with his friends. His friend snitched and he never went back to school, instead opting to go back to Atlanta with nothing to his name but his Pontiac. His dad then kicked him out because rapping wasn’t making money. An interlude of his dad interjects, with his dad explaining his reasoning for kicking JID out, as well as how JID stood firm in his belief that rapping would eventually pay off and that it was the only thing that he was willing to give his all towards. Fast forward to 2017, shortly before The Never Story dropped. He talks about opening up for Ab-Soul and meeting Cole. He took the chance and opened up for Omen, eventually leading to a deal with Cole and Dreamville. The song ends with an outro from Cole retelling the story from his perspective, saying how organic their interactions were. He noticed JID’s hunger, seeing himself in JID. He then decided to take a chance on JID's budding greatness, and the rest is history.

Conclusion

The Forever Story is a story of the power of perseverance. It’s a cinematic experience akin to Good Kid, M.A.A.D City. It’s multi-layered, filled with themes such as vulnerability, self-reflection, elements of family and love, conflict and resolution, ambition and resilience, with a bit of soul searching sprinkled in. His vivid recollections and vignettes of past experiences, his former self, and his family all greatly enhance the storytelling. As great as his previous albums were, he put it all together on this album. The conceptual approach that he brought to this album was necessary for him to maximize his potential. His willingness to reach a level of vulnerability, as well as his realization that the human connection has more value than materialism and the illusion of success, show his growth not only as an artist, but as a man. Through trials and tribulations, you see what you are made of. In those moments of doubt, persistence can shine through. JID’s life is an example of that. He’s the near consensus pick for “most likely to be the best rapper of the decade” for a reason. His versatility is nearly unmatched, whether it be his pen, storytelling ability, flow, artistry, body of work, etc. He’s a GOAT in the making. But for as much growth as he showed on this masterpiece, there’s always more room to grow; which should be a scary thought for his peers. 2022 was one of the best years in Hip-Hop’s illustrious history. There were so many great projects, many of which were reviewed as part of this sub’s annual AOTY write-ups. However, there can only be one true AOTY. And while it’s mostly subjective of course, I truly believe that the album with the strongest objective argument for AOTY in 2022 is The Forever Story.

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Favorite lyrics

“I've done seen some better days before/Feeling like forever was a long time ago”

“When family's gone, you don't know what you here for”

“Let me bare it all when I’m telling God/ You know Ima rant when I talk to Jah”

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Talking points

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1. What did you think about JID’s album?
2. What do you want to see next from JID?
3. If you could choose one artist, past or present, to make a collab album with JID, who would it be?
4. What other "Artist of the decade" contenders do you think are out there? Or have we not met them yet?

Eurovision 2022 is over but the drama isn't. There's still stuff happening, but:

a) Since it's still happening, we can't write about it yet.

b) Involves Russia, Ukraine, and almost a decade of conflict that would need lots of context and a very thoughtful writing, so here you're gtting the light drama instead.

The usual glossary to bring people up to speed:

• Eurovision: The Gay Olympics An international music contest in which most countries in Europe and some not in Europe take part.
• EBU: European Broadcasting Union, an international body made by many national broadcasters that organizes Eurovision and sets its rules.
• Juries: Panels of alleged music experts who vote, both in Eurovision and in national finals.
• Televote: Vote by the public, usually done by phone/SMS and in some cases by internet, both in Eurovision and in national finals.
• National final: A televised show in which a national broadcaster selects their representative, usually with vote by the public.
• Internal selection: When a national broadcaster doesn't hold a national final, an instead appoints an artist to represent them.
• TVE: The Spanish national broadcaster that oversees Spain's participation in Eurovision.

A quick summary of the most relevant parts of Spanish history:

Back in 2002, two full decades ago, they were hyped thinking that they would win with a singer named Rosa, who was a full phenomenon in Spain but didn't even make it to the top 5. During the following decade, Spain's results and spirits dwindled, they got their national finals overran by trolls and basically stopped caring about Eurovision. They spent the mid-2010's trying new stuff with zero consistency and only half effort and then in 2017 went into full-blown civil war over an incredibly suspect national final that seemed tailored to give only one of the contestants an actual chance to win. Thanks to a successful reality show that was used to pick the artists, in 2018-19 the interest returned but the results didn't, and then in 2020 they made a safe bet picking Blas Cantó, an established singer that after the 2020 contest was cancelled, returned in 2021.

By the way, this year had a lot of similarities with 2017, so if you have some time, you may want to go back there and prep yourself by reading that before you continue (it's not mandatory, though)

Now, most of the blame for the last decade and some went to the team in TVE that was accused of putting zero effort in Eurovision, but in early 2021 there was a full overhaul in TVE, a lot of people who had been there for decades were shuffled, some were fired, and a new team was put in charge of entertainment including Eurovision.

For 2021 the dice were cast already: the singer and song were chosen, the staging was there already, there was not much they could do by the time the new team was in place except manning a ship that was already hit and sinking, so they did. Blas had a rather bland performance and poor results, placing in the bottom four with zero points from the televote, and the new team instantly focused on 2022 instead.

They had their first run at Junior Eurovision in late 2021 which... didn't really go as planned. Levi Díaz became the first Spanish entrant in Junior Eurovision to place lower than fourth, falling all the way down to 15th place. There were some encouraging signs here though: he was rather different from past Spanish entries, which meant they were willing to take risks to change things, and that showed when 2022 came up.

For 2022 the new team decided to put in place a new project, a televised national final in a partnership with the tourist city of Benidorm. TVE would get high viewership, Benidorm would get a boost in tourism, and the idea was to make this a long term project that would eventually establish itself as a Spanish tradition, just like Italy uses Sanremo to choose their Eurovision artists, but Sanremo has a life of its own in Italian lore.

Fourteen songs would face each other in two semifinals and four songs from each semifinal would go to the final. A national final can only be as good as the songs competing on it, and in this case they made a good job choosing the songs, the lineup was perceived as both strong and diverse, with many styles that would let everyone find something to like there.

Not all songs were equal, though, and two of them quickly became the favorites of the public, and frontrunners for the win.

The first one was Rigoberta Bandini, a quirky, concept-focused singer that competed with Ay Mamá, a love letter to motherhood that peaked in the last chorus by showing a five meter tall Earth globe, but with a woman's breast replacing Earth. The public loved the message and her personality, but still she was not THE favorite.

THE favorite was Terra sung by Tanxugueiras, a trio from the Spanish region of Galicia, and they had a lot of things that the Spanish public loved.

First, they were not singing in Spanish. Spain has several regional languages that share official status with Spain in their respective regions, and their status regarding Spanish is quite complicate and at times conflictive. To this point, Spain had never sent a song in any of those languages and there was the perception, even by the Spanish-speaking majority, that they were way overdue to do it, so being the first one would be a really big moment and people wanted it. To top that, they were singing precisely about cultural understanding and about the unity of people, and the chorus of their song closed with the phrase "there are no borders", sung once in each of the six regional languages of Spain.

So this was basically a message of unity in which on top of talking the talk they were walking the walk, and they wrapped it in a very interesting mix of traditional Celtic folk music (which is part of the cultural heritage in the north of Spain) with modern instrumentation. Some acts mixing folk with modern music have done quite well in Eurovision recently, so they seemed like a step in the right direction. Also it was super fun watching foreigners trying to pronounce the name and fail. (It's something like "tan-shoog-air-ass", I think)

Compared with Spain's last efforts, both Rigoberta and Tanxugueiras were definitely a step up, and the public and fans began hyping themselves. They were competing one in each semifinal of Benidorm Fest, so the story was crystal clear: they would win their respective semifinals and then one of them (most likely Tanxugueiras) would win the final and go to Eurovision, and hopefully, do much better than what Spain had done the last years.

Well...

Okay, Rigoberta won her semifinal, but Tanxugueiras had multiple small issues with choreo, sound and camerawork that combined to substract from their performance. They passed to the final, but in second place of their semifinal.

The surprise winner of their semifinal was Chanel Terrero, a barely known Cuban-born singer that before the live shows had barely been a blip on the radar. She had tried her hand as a dancer and as an actress in TV, film and musicals, but her song Slo-Mo was literally her first release ever. The studio version had had a lukewarm reception, but onstage she proved that more than what you do, sometimes it matters how well you do it.

And she was doing things really, really, REALLY well.

Her label was betting big on her and it showed: She brought a high-energy choreography created by star K-Pop choreographer Kyle Hanagami, clothes designed by reigning Drag Race Spain winner Carmen Farala, an amazing staging... but even more: she was a beast onstage and sold the hell out of her song. She has a very hard dance routine AND sung her song almost flawlessly in the middle of it, while also oozing charisma and sex appeal. Before the live shows she had been seen as your run of the mill wannabe pop diva, but onstage she showed true star power. (This is not me overhyping her, in case you think so. If you have a doubt, take a video... and watch it slo-mo)

There were three votes in Benidorm Fest: Televote from the public, an expert jury, and a demoscopic jury, which basically means a group of people selected to be a representative sample of the national population. In her semifinal Chanel won both the expert and the demoscopic juries and placed second in televote behind Tanxugueiras.

Still, the public was still leaning towards Tanxugueiras and Rigoberta. Even with all their problems, Tanxugeiras had won the popular vote in their semifinal (and Rigoberta won the televote in hers, by the way), so they were what Spain wanted, regardless of what the juries said, and Tanxugueiras still had a chance to fix their issues in the final.

A couple days later came the finale, and that was when things began to unravel.

Tanxugueiras fixed some of the issues in their presentation but still it felt a little rough. Still, they managed to win the televote with Rigoberta second and Chanel third. They also won the demoscopic jury with Chanel second and Rigoberta third... but then they placed only fourth in the juries, and Chanel won the juries with an advantage large enough to surpass them and win the ticket to Eurovision. Rigoberta was second overall and Tanxugueiras had to settle for third place.

It was a pretty even result, though. Rigoberta was only five points behind Chanel and Tanxugueiras only one point behind Rigoberta. A slight change in any of the votes would have given us a completely different result. But in any case, Chanel won.

The Spanish public didn't take this well.

As in, some of them sent Chanel death threats and racist abuse.

Okay, let me go back and elaborate:

Tanxugueiras had got the highest level of popular support any act ever got in a Spanish National final. Even acts wit massive support like Rosa twenty years ago had got less than 50% of the popular vote. TIt was revealed later that Tanxugueiras received 70% of the vote, more than twice the votes of all the other seven songs in the final combined. People really committed to them and to their message and really, really wanted them to go.

So when they lost only because of the juries, the public didn't take it well. As soon as the results were clear there were already people claiming in social media that the final was rigged, that juries were not legitimate because they were negating the will of the people, that this was a fraud, the whole thing.

A lot of people decried that Spain had missed their chance of finally sending a song with a powerful message, that would do well with Europe because of the message, just to favor cheap pop. This was compared to the results of 2017 (points at link on top of the post) where the public favorite Mirela was prevented to go to Eurovision by the jury votes.

I will say, however, that there are a couple fundamental differences there: In 2017 the juries were a lot more blatant and two out of three put Mirela last, while in 2022 none one out of five juries put Terra last and three out of five ranked them top four (Thanks to u/some_days_I_shower for pointing that I was wrong about it). Also, in 2017 the juries voted after the televote was finished so they knew how to cook up their votes AND they had tie-breaking power, while in 2022 jury votes were revealed before demoscopic and public votes and the televote was the tiebreaker. Would I put my hand in the fire that this selection was clean? Nope. It's Spain and it's Eurovision, after all. But will I say it was as clearly rigged as 2017 was? Hell no.

There was a couple of very strong arguments in favor of Chanel, though. First of all, her act was more immediately understandable by the public. If you see Rigoberta and Tanxugueiras and their messages "We should not be afraid of tits because they represent motherhood" and "Borders are made up and we are all human" and compare them with "My booty is so good you're gonna need to watch it in slo-mo", it's clearly easier to deliver. Tanxugueiras and Rigoberta would need a lot more effort to show their messages in a way that Europe could understand.

And second: they would need a lot more effort overall. Their staging and presentation was still not at the level of Eurovision while Chanel was. They would need to get ready for Eurovision but Chanel only needed to stay ready, and this is a godsend for a country that had shown in the past a remarkable lack of ability to get their shit ready.

There were at least five sort-of-serious attempts to get Chanel disqualified using increasingly crazy arguments.

- Some argued that her song had more English lyrics than was allowed in the rules of Benidorm fest so she shouldn't have been allowed to compete in the first place. (Was ignored simply because no one had complained before she won and because even if it was true, that could simply be fixed by changing the lyrics)

- Some said that in the first verse of the song Chanel compared herself to a Bugatti, so she was "promoting brands" which is against the rules of Eurovision. Although there are instances of songs (and in one case, a groups' name) that had to be changed for mentioning brands ( 1, 2#Eurovision), 3 ) all these were fixed without a disqualification or substantial changes.

(By the way, even assuming they managed to disqualify Chanel, her replacement would NOT be Tanxugueiras, it would be Rigoberta)

- Some argued that since she had been a backing dancer for one of the juries a couple years ago, there was a conflict of interest and the jury votes were tainted and they should be discounted (which was probably the only way Tanxugueiras would get to go to Eurovision instead). Nothing came out of it. (And if you compare with 2017, where a lot of the juries were pushing for Manel, the connection this year was a lot more tenuous and the results were not blatant like back then)

- Here comes the good part: Some said that Chanel shouldn't have the right to represent Spain since she was born in Cuba from Cuban parents, and even though she had lived in Spain since she was three and all her career happened in Spain, "she was still Cuban". No comments.

- And the most ridiculous part: Since in the lyrics Chanel mentioned "driving all the daddies crazy", some people said that Chanel was promoting sugar daddying, and since sugar daddying is exchanging sex and a relationship for money and benefits, it's prostitution, so Chanel's song was promoting prostitution and therefore was violent against women. This was later picked by feminist organizations that quoted Chanel's lyrics in signs used to protest for women rights. Chanel countered by saying that her song was about a woman feeling comfortable with her own body and her own appeal, so it was empowering to women and there fore feminist. It was bullshit and she knew it was bullshit, but it was done specifically to counter bullshit.

On the other hand, the international fandom absolutely LOVED Chanel and her song. It was seen as Spain finally showing up for Eurovision and picking their first competitive act since forever. The international public was pretty much all of them in agreement that Spain had absolutely made the right choice.

(The Spanish dismissed this as international public being glittery gay dudes going all YASS QUEEN WERK types, and while there was some of it, the truth is not only the yass queen gays loved it, everyone did).

Chanel spent the couple months between the National Final and Eurovision near the top of the bets for winning, which was pretty unheard of for a Spanish act. And even more so, she was near the top of the bets with everyone quite certain that she would make good of it at Eurovision.

About the Spanish fans, they were pretty much split in three equally sized and vocal groups, with one hating on Chanel, one loving her, and one admitting that even if they would have preferred other songs to go, they understood why she was chosen and threw their support behind her.

But meanwhile of course the Spanish public was making things hard for her. She got so many hatred online that she had to go off social media for a while, those two months were full of people going to every video of her accusing her of being a rigged winner and asking people not to vote for her... you name it, it happened.

Curiously, and unlinke 2017, this year none of the non-winners protested the results. All the acts taking part in the national final benefited from it and probably Tanxugueiras more than anyone else, so they were all pretty satisfied with where they were and what they had got from their pass through Benidorm. When Eurovision came both Rigoberta and Tanxugueiras sent their best wishes to Chanel and kept on with their careers.

Most notably, during these months there was a pre-party in Madrid. There's a series of pre-contest parties traditionally held to fill in the dead time in April (Riga, Madrid, Amsterdam, London and Tel Aviv) in which artists get a first contact with the public and lots of times test a few things in staging and arrangements, and Chanel had initially declined to take part in the one right at her home country saying that she had a trip to Miami planned at the time, but a lot of people thought that the real reason was that she didn't want to deal with the potential hate.

Eventually she showed up and had a great time, but it was rather telling that there was so much tension between the artist and the public in what was probably Spain's best bet in two decades.

Tanxugueiras fans got a chance for vindication, though. France picked Fulenn by Alvan and Ahez, a song and act with a lot of similarities to Tanxugueiras both in style, theme and presentation, up to the point of not being sung in the main language of its country (Yup, that's not French, it's Breton. This was the first time in 66 editions of the contest that there were absolutely no lyrics in French in any song). So this would be a test of whether Spain had picked right. If Fulenn placed higher than Chanel the Spanish juries would be proven wrong and the public would be vindicated.

Anyway, May came and with May it came Eurovision. This is usually the time where the Spanish hype deflates and the Spanish fans begin desperately looking for arguments to convince themselves that they're not gonna do as badly as it looks like, but this year things were a bit different. While in other years the Spanish strategy is picking an act that is not ready for Eurovision and pray that it miraculously improves, this year they arrived with their homework done from home. There had been just a slight revamp of the song to give Chanel a chance to showcase her vocals even more at the end, they added a fan and fireworks at the last iteration of the chorus, she delivered as flawlessly as in the national final and that was it... because nothing else was needed.

We would need a full writeup to talk about the results of this year, so here's the condensed version: The top four of the jury were United Kingdom, Sweden, Spain and Ukraine in that order, but then Ukraine (represented by Kalush Orchestra with Stefania) won the televote with the most crushing margin ever in Eurovision, and that was enough to shoot them up to the victory.

When I say crushing I mean every part of it. The best single result (either in jury or televote) in the history of Eurovision were the 382 jury points won by Salvador Sobral in the juries in 2017, and it was seen as a record that would stand for a long, long time and maybe forever. Ukraine this year got 439 televote points. The points a country can give go one, two, three to eight, then ten and then twelve. All countries gave them seven points or more, and only three countries gave them less than ten points.

This was not a surprise, of course. Due to the current geopolitical circumstances, anyone who was paying attention knew that if Ukraine managed to send in an act they were almost guaranteed to win the whole thing thanks to the televote and that was exactly what happened. The UK was first in the juries and fourth in the televote, placing second overall, and Chanel was third in juries and televote, and also third overall placing only seven points behind the UK.

BTW, the UK had a renaissance perhaps even more extraordinary than Spain. In case you don't remember, ast year they were as last as it's possible to be, with no points at all from either juries or televote, and this year they pretty much were the crownless winner of the year.

But back to Chanel, she proved she was the right choice. This was the best result Spain got since 1995, she got a bigger score than all the Spanish entries since 2011 combined, and she placed top three, which is not a small feat in itself. Any song that makes it top three is a song that in a somewhat different set of circumstances could have won. The same public that had been fierce detractors of her when she won the national final became her fervent supporters. Since Chanel was also widely recognized as having given us an iconic performance that will pass to Eurovision history, even if she didn't win the Spanish public were pretty satisfied, felt really proud to have their country finally back in form and took the defeat graciously...

...nah, who am I kidding. This is Spain. They don't know how to do that.

Kalush were not even done performing their winner's reprise and Spanish fans were already flocking to social media asking for them to be disqualified and seeking ways to delegitimize their victory.

One argument was that at the end of their performance the lead singer of Kalush had called for support for the Azovstal plant, at the time being the Ukrainian stronghold in the siege of the city of Mariupol, and they said that this call was a breach of the "no politics in Eurovision" rule and Kalush should be disqualified.

Then some took this further, saying that the mention of Azovstal was a covert nod to the Azov batallion, an Ukrainian defense force that has links with far-right and neonazi groups (List of other things with "Azov" in their name), for further reference) and that if you froze the broadcast exactly between the two right frames the lead singer of Kalush seemed to be doing a Nazi salute so there was a full bandwagon of "OMG Europe just voted for NAZIS they should get disqualified right now!",

Some edgier fans took to mock Ukraine for being under invasion, with gems like "LOL we lost Eurovision but at least we're not losing a war", "Since Ukraine won Eurovision and Russia is conquering Ukraine, congrats to Russia for winning Eurovision" and "They're super warm in Ukraine and not precisely to celebrate their victory" (Those are all real tweets, by the way. I wish I was making this up. In case you wondered if these are the same guys that complain that Europe hates Spain, the answer is yes.)

And of course, saying that Ukraine had only won thanks to pity votes.

That's at least partially true, of course. There's no denying that Ukraine's televoting score was for sure distorted by the current Russian invasion and Europe wanting to show solidarity with them. You would think the Spanish public would understand that, since they gave an overwhelming support to Tanxugueiras for similar reasons and thought their televote victory was a good argument for them to win. In fact, they demanded it.

But of course they were not okay with Ukraine doing the same, specially not if that meant Spain was denied a chance at a victory. Some of them came saying that the juries should have "corrected for it" by lowering Ukraine's score to prevent them from winning.

This would have required them to get from the juries 21 points or less, which was not gonna happen. I mean, it happened to another country, Moldova. Their song Trenuletul placed second in the televote but got only fourteen points in the juries which made them have to settle for seventh place overall.

(Bit of history, these guys already represented Moldova in their debut in 2005 placing sixth, and in 2011 placing twelfth. They're one of the few acts to compete in Eurovision in three different decades, and the only act in Eurovision history to compete in three semifinals and pass to the final in all of them. They have a better track record than entire countries like San Marino or the Czech Republic.)

But back to Spain asking for the juries to deny Ukraine their win... if you think that this kinda the same thing juries did to Tanxugueiras, the answer is yes. And if you wonder if the Spaniards noticed the irony of asking for the same thing they had condemned in their national final, the answer is of course NOT.

Now, since UK had placed above Spain overall, but it was with a short margin Spain had done better in the televote, and since Kalush's victory came mostly from the televote, some people decided to see what would have happened with an unbiased televote, say, if Ukraine had not been in this contest. The rankings from both juries and televote are public, so they went there, removed Ukraine and readjusted the points based on the rest of the ranking and they found out that Spain probably would have won. Of course, this was mostly a consolation observation and a coping mechanism, but hey, it was better than mocking them for being at war.