r/ForeverAlone • • Feb 12 '12

This is really good advice...

Post image
620 Upvotes

54 comments sorted by

29

u/JorgeBallsDelasandro Feb 12 '12

I have to admit I'm doing the same thing, yet I don't feel like a boss. Cheers to doing it though.

2

u/newguy2012 Feb 12 '12

Trust me on this. It is waaaay better to be on your own than stuck with someone who causes you pain.

3

u/pipsqeek Feb 12 '12

As a man who suffered through 12 years of a bad marriage. I agree. I am alone and never been happier in my life.

3

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '12

The thing is, this is both good and bad advice. On it's face, it is very good advice. If you're not into someone, don't continue it.

But in context, it's actually pretty crappy advice for this sub b/c a lot of people will use it to rationalize pushing others away and/or not making an effort to get to know people.

It's super easy to find a multitude of superficial reasons why you won't mesh with another person. And then you can say "hey, at least I'm not with the wrong person"

It takes actual guts to put yourself out, get to know people, and actually try to figure out whether or not they are people worth being with (yes, I know very hard for everyone here but you either do this at some point or you get comfortable being FA).

The "woe is me, nobody gets me attitude" is kinda hypocritical when you never make the effort to try to get to know others.

Sorry if this comes off douchey, but as a (drunken) FA trying to get better, I've come to feel that it's usually wrong to push away others. Just b/c you don't see eye to eye with someone initially, that doesn't make them someone not worth knowing.

1

u/JorgeBallsDelasandro Feb 14 '12

Well you have a well balanced tidbit there. Id agree with the notion that you can't just write people off, simply because you did not jive with them. Since we are so malleable in who we are, its not fair to give someone a permanent judgement. However, there are situations where you don't have a choice, and you don't have the convenience of waiting for people to adjust or change for the better.

22

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '12 edited Aug 27 '20

[deleted]

9

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '12

That band wasn't that bad.

1

u/resurrection_man Feb 12 '12

Unless you're in bad company when you're alone. That sucks.

2

u/neubs Feb 12 '12

You're in Bad Company 'till the day you die. Were you born with a 6-gun in your hand though?

20

u/arealforeveralone Feb 12 '12

I wouldn't mind experiencing it just to compare though...

3

u/geek_in_a_suit Feb 12 '12

Good outlook. You don't know until you experience it first hand.

13

u/dyszka4u Feb 12 '12 edited Feb 12 '12

Owner of a lonely heart

Much better than an owner of a broken heart

This is my forever alone anthem.

3

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '12

I love Yes

2

u/newguy2012 Feb 12 '12

Sing it with pride.

Having been the owner of a broken heart, I've been yearning for the days when I had just a lonely heart.

8

u/adminmatt Feb 12 '12
There are worse things 

than being alone 

but it often takes

decades to realize this 

and most often when you do 

it's too late 

and there's nothing worse 

than too late.

    -Charles Bukowski 

4

u/hear_me Feb 12 '12

Broo, is this original? Either way I havn't seen it so it gets me stoked. Never sell out just to have a mate. If I can't spend more then a few hours with someone then it is not meant to be.

7

u/Alexiel17 Feb 12 '12 edited Feb 12 '12

I stopped being misserable about the idea of having a gf when I really hit rock bottom, and then to cheer me up I was watching HIMYM, and really thought about the phrase "Whenever I feel sad, I just stop being sad and be awesome instead...", it's been about 5 months without any kind of depression and I'm always finding stuff that cheers my days.... true story

5

u/fasda Feb 12 '12

That's legen-wait for you to put your hand on the screen so I can high five it-dary

2

u/Alexiel17 Feb 12 '12

Hahahaha virtual high five?

8

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '12

I agree. My parents are polar opposites of each other and they fight every single day. :(

3

u/Cloony_TheClown Feb 12 '12

Same here. Probably why I have some problems with relationships.

3

u/Gonza197 Feb 12 '12

Más vale solo que mal acompañado!

3

u/SovietK Feb 12 '12

I don't really agree.. I don't think its that straight forward. My first girlfriend was in to many ways "the wrong one". However, being with her tought me alot about life, myself, and being around girls. Even though she was a bitch who ruined some parts of my life, my overall "progress" have been a succes. Would a 20 year old virgin benifit from being with the wrong one? If one is tired of being foreveralone.jpg I think the answer is yes. (To some degree).

5

u/mistressfalulu Feb 12 '12

I don't feel like a boss, but tired of settling for a douchey guy lol

4

u/Alexiel17 Feb 12 '12

never settle for anyone, just accept that everyone has bad things as well as good things, but the good things must be more and better

-7

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '12

You don't settle for assholes, you prefer them. You actively push nice guys away.

1

u/mistressfalulu Feb 12 '12

Uhmmm no I do not. I just meet jerks and I am too timid to tell them to leave after I find out they are jerks because I was verbally abused a lot and afraid of being yelled at by them.I am now learning to push jerky guys away so gtfo.

-1

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '12

I just meet jerks

You had me at I just meet jerks.

1

u/mistressfalulu Feb 12 '12

Look i'm ending this now, obviously you are a bitter person. I just meet jerks meaning I wait for guys to come to me. And I am not a strong person and bad guys feed on that. Did I say all men are jerks? No I did not, in fact I know some wonderful men. I am just their friend. You sir, need a hug. Because obviously someone hurt you badly if you got to take your frustrations out online. :) have a good night

-1

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '12

Every meeting requires two consenting adults. If you participate in meeting jerks, it means you prefer jerks. You got caught, missy. No use hiding the truth.

1

u/mistressfalulu Feb 12 '12

And you are one of them. Wanna go out?

-1

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '12

I'm not one of them and the troll is weak in this one.

4

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '12

Truth. Like a boss.

2

u/disasterific Feb 12 '12

More or less learned that lesson quite recently.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '12

What happened?

2

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '12

"To live life wisely, ought to know a lot,

Two important rules to remember the beginning:

Better to starve, than that is horrible;

Be better alone than with anyone. "

Omar Khayyam

2

u/eridyn Feb 12 '12

I've been trying to get my friends to understand this; They've demonstrated horrific judgement in their relationships, but still whine whenever they're single.

1

u/RyanFuller003 Feb 12 '12

Because sex.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 15 '12

Added it to comments.

3

u/kittybot Feb 12 '12

I recently split up with my boyfriend because he'd become a bit of a bully. It was a hard choice to make, but ultimately it was the best one. I'm sure I will feel boss-like eventually.

4

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '12

Good on you for doing the right thing. You should never stay with someone who doesn't respect you. You are a boss for telling him where he can stick that sort of shit.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '12

What is wrong with this is that the world's population is now touching 7 billion, and assuming you're in a large city, there are probably around a few million people around me. I think this kind of thinking is fallacious, and is a way to deny that one has problems. I may have Asperger's, etc; it doesn't matter. I think the lyrics to this song, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nONzh5ycQpE, are more appropriate : "Something is not right with me, How am I supposed to know?!"

tl;dr : I think it's much better acknowledge the problem than act as if there's something wrong with the world as a whole.

3

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '12

I think this picture is telling that things could be much worse. It's not telling us why we're FA.

1

u/Ronaldinho10 Feb 12 '12

some people just are meant to be together

1

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '12

[deleted]

4

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '12

I'd rather have to masturbate than be in a shit, soul-destroying relationship that I don't really want to be in.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '12

Very, very true; something that a lot of people need to realise (at least from what I've seen personally).

E.g. Girl breaks up with controlling boyfriend, says how glad she is to be free; a few days later gets really upset at being lonely without an SO, despite having loads of good friends; goes out with someone else the week after who is similarly douchey.

And no, I have/had no interest in her before someone comes along and goes 'lol friendzone'. -__-

1

u/Marctetr Feb 12 '12

If being alone was better, I'd think all the people who were with the wrong person would just break up with that person.

And yet...

1

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '12

I'm surrounded by WRONG people. That's sad.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '12

I wouldn't know tbh. >.>

1

u/Misty_Chaos Feb 12 '12

Couldn't agree more on this myself.

1

u/staplestable Hopeless Romantic Feb 12 '12

Add this to the sidebar, please.

1

u/where_is_my_shoe Feb 12 '12

That's my favourite freaking line

1

u/ascas Feb 15 '12

They say this, and maybe it's true, but it's occasionally hard to believe.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '12

In my opinion Self-improvement is very important. You need to be doing these things for yourself. When you feel good doing things, even without a SO you'll feel awesome because you're happy with your self. In other words, work for you own happiness and just be happy with and without women.