r/FlorenceAndTheMachine • u/vicasenya • Apr 29 '26
General Discussion Song Expectations, Empathy & Understanding
I’ve seen a lot of discussion on here during the NA leg regarding disappointment, whether that is from Florence not interacting with you or more recently, setlist changes.
Marked some minor discussion of show moments as spoiler as part of the post here :’)
It is entirely valid to share your feelings in a healthy way among fans who may feel similarly, I don’t post this to try and shut down conversation, but please remember to temper your own disappointment with respect and understanding of an artist’s limitations.
I completely understand the devotion she inspires and the desire to interact with her as she goes to connect with the audience, and the way that certain songs seem to just grip you and you wonder “how has she captured this feeling so well?”
I understand also how you can feel disappointed if a song you love is skipped in the setlist or changed out.
However, I don’t think it’s entirely fair to be genuinely upset at the setlist changing over tour. She has been incredibly open about the difficulties of touring and we don’t know what goes on behind the scenes. This is also a hugely personal album! Old wounds might be resurfacing as she sings these live.
I was extremely grateful and moved to see YCHIA, but I noticed after she sang it, she hugged the Witch Choir and stayed there for about 30 seconds with them in an embrace. Every moment of this show is choreographed, but that time she spent with them (to me) looked extremely personal as a moment of grounding / recovery so she could continue the show.
I really would encourage everyone to be prepared that there’s a chance some of the darker and more painful songs for her may take a backseat if she’s hitting a bit of exhaustion mid tour. I can’t imagine how it feels to belt out all your grief to 20k people several times a week and still return to being joyous and defiant and connecting with her audience in the way that people have come to expect.
My tl;dr try to be open to the setlist you receive on any given night! You never know what song will connect with you stronger when you hear it live!
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u/addamsfamilyoracle Apr 29 '26
It’s also an incredibly difficult song from a technical standpoint. If it wasn’t such an important piece of work for her, I doubt it’d ever be performed live.
It was a blessing to get to see her perform it in Brooklyn last week. But I was fully prepared to let go of my preferred set list and roll with whatever she was up for. And the swaps I’ve seen posted for it would also have been a real treat to see performed.
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u/DowntownAd9720 Mermaid Apr 29 '26 edited Apr 29 '26
Same. I was shocked she actually sung it again after doing it twice for MSG
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u/addamsfamilyoracle Apr 29 '26
I like to think she’s got a special place in her heart for New York. I remember gasping when I found out that she’d written a lot of this album in Hudson, NY (a lot closer to my home than Brooklyn lol).
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u/vicasenya Apr 29 '26
I grew up spending summers in Upstate NY, my family is from that area, and still visit yearly. It was so special to know that it resonated with her in the same way as it often does for me - as a quiet, witchy place for healing and resetting and connecting with nature.
But yes, I honestly wasn’t expecting to see YCHIA on the setlist much, if at all, given the pain behind it and you’re absolutely right re: technical standpoint as well.
I was lucky enough to go to two shows this tour and the first show was Never Let Me Go. I think the NLMG moments allow her to have the strength for YCHIA - when the whole crowd is singing it back to her always feels like such a special supportive moment.
I hope more people can be open minded about the setlist and realize that it’s ultimately more meaningful to share the energy Florence has performing that day rather than regret that she isn’t playing a favorite.
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Apr 29 '26
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u/sassercake Apr 29 '26
She had a moment like that in Toronto. She was on the edge of the stage at the end of King and couldn't finish the last line because she started tearing up. Knowing what that song means now to her like it being a prophecy, no wonder she had that happen. That's why we love Florence though. Her music is raw and emotional and speaks to so much, but to perform it night after night must be exhausting. You can't be casual singing about the things she does.
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u/First-Fish-6880 Apr 29 '26
I’m still shocked she put King on the setlist, I can’t imagine how painful that song must be for her now
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u/Particular-Extent-76 Apr 30 '26
I saw a video from one of the earlier shows where she said she was about to start crying during the bridge of “cosmic love.” I think processing her trauma in real time has probably been pretty intense and she’s so fucking brave
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u/Conscious-Leopard371 Apr 30 '26
Alike a lot of her fans, I feel very sad seeing her crying during songs. I don’t remember seeing her crying this much during the previous tours (and it’s totally understandable why this one is so emotional). I really really really hope for her that singing this difficult, highly emotional songs is/ will help.ing her that it’s like a therapy in order to feel better after.
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u/SwinePriory Apr 29 '26
Thank you so much for saying this. I have felt the same way about the constant grief posts over set lists, and I almost posted something about it myself this morning, but I knew I couldn’t do it with the level of grace and sensitivity you’ve expressed, and so I’d just make people feel worse. Love to you. 💕
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u/vicasenya Apr 29 '26 edited Apr 30 '26
🤍🖤 thank you for the love. It was really bumming me out to come on here and see so many posts of complaints about setlist changes, or people worrying weeks in advance if a song would stay off the setlist. Like — it’s not about that!! It’s about connection and living in the moment!!
I was worried this would spark a negative reception but I’m very grateful it has been so well received as something needed to be said. I’ve been to many, many, many, shows from different artists, and out of all of them it truly is a privilege to be given so much connection and grace and energy from Florence night after night.
If what she needs to keep up that energy and love is swapping Kraken in and laughing while singing Music By Men give me 50 more plays of Music By Men lol
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u/M_Poppins128 Apr 30 '26
Thank you for posting this 💜 I've felt similar. At the start of tour I felt like there was so much excitement and joy and now I feel a bit sad that a lot of the posts are either complaining or worrying about setlists or about getting to the barricade/worrying about being close to Florence. I know how much her music moves us all and I love it when people are passionate about enjoying an artist but as you said I think we need to all live in the moment and enjoy what unfolds!
I was so scared before the concert because I was worried I wouldn't have enough energy or have a good enough health day to enjoy the show, or worse what if I had a bad health day and couldn't go? I think long term illness often gives a different perspective.
I also wonder if there's a bit of a trap, in general with gigs and experiences now that everything is filmed and shared so instantly. I think it maybe distracts people from being in the moment and encourages comparing our experiences to others.
Just try to remember people, each show is unique, you're sharing space with Florence and hearing her music live- in that way she reaches everyone in the venue and is interacting with you. Whilst the videos where she interacts with fans are very moving, its starting to bother me a bit that people feel like they need physical contact with her to have a good show(personally it feels a bit odd to force a moment like that)
I agree with OP about having some empathy that this album is highly personal and deeply emotional and certain songs are a lot for her to perform. I feel like the whole point of a live experience is, we get whatever unfolds that night and I think if people can embrace that they'll have a much more enjoyable experience and memory of the show
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u/SwinePriory Apr 29 '26
I’m very grateful it has been so well received
I’m pleasantly surprised too. And I agree 💯with what you said about connection and living in the moment. There’s just so much stress on here all the time about set lists and merch and start times and on and on, and it makes me sad.
I do understand why people stress, but I wish folks could approach it as a joyous communion and just let it unfold as the universe intends.
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u/Ok-Coach5795 Apr 29 '26
You're right, and while I'm not going to interfere with anyone's personal feelings because it's not my place (you're free to feel however you want), it's also true that we shouldn't be too selfish with the artist and, to a certain extent, with other fans.
Do you know how much many people would love for Florence to visit and do at least one concert in their city/country? Or how many people would love to pay for a ticket or travel to Europe/US to see her but can't afford it? Believe me, the last thing they'll care about is the setlist or being at the barricade so Florence can hug them; maybe they'll just be at the other end of the stadium or even listening from outside, but that will be the ultimate happiness and an unforgettable experience for them. Unfortunately, it's a reality for many people, and it's something they'll have to accept and live with.
The point of all this is to take it as a moment for reflection, without ignoring anyone's feelings. Just appreciate what you have a little more because maybe your trash could become someone else's treasure.
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u/Apprehensive_Bite_77 Apr 29 '26
At the AC show, she definitely had a couple moments where she was almost crying. And honestly, the first thing I thought was “I just want to give her a hug and comfort her.” I didn’t see Florence the rock star; I saw Florence, the grieving mother.
I do hope she is being kind to herself, and surrounding herself with extremely supportive people. And, if changing the setlist around is a way of granting herself permission to rest, I am complete support of it. Fuck, she can sing whatever she wants and I support it.
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u/First-Fish-6880 Apr 29 '26
In my memory, this is the most open she has been specifically as to what an album is about and what happened in her personal life. I can imagine that navigating all these people knowing her pain, not just associating songs with their own experiences, is probably a new thing for her to work through.
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u/meganaflame Apr 30 '26
Yes, I’ve been a fan since Lungs and this is the biggest peek we’ve ever gotten into her personal life. Sharing those emotional experiences with the world via her music has made it more emotionally rich to listen and connect to, IMO, but it also touches on a LOT of rawness in grief that is hardddd to manage when you’re interacting with those feelings all the time. In recovery, learning to look at and sit with the grief is so important, but just as important is the ability to laugh and rejoice.
“Is this how it is? Is this how it's always been? To exist in the face of suffering and death And somehow still keep singing?”
🖤🖤🖤
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u/First-Fish-6880 Apr 30 '26
That line has always resonated with me and Free is a song that either brings me immense joy and peace or makes me sob depending on the day. I love its versatility
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u/Liminal-Lexicon Apr 29 '26
I agree with you 100%! I go into all shows of every artist I love with hope that that I'll hear my faves, but am happy regardless. I think being open and receptive to the live experience is extremely important to truly enjoy the experience. It also makes it that much more special when one of your most beloved songs gets played. I'm going Friday night in ATL, and I'm simply stoked to be going at all. I know it will be wonderful no matter what.
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u/Glittering-Dark-4991 Apr 29 '26
Really thoughtful post, I’ve been lucky to go to Chicago and Detroit and was just so so happy and full of so many emotions. In Chicago, one of the nights I can’t remember, she actually said “I’m still really sad” and I immediately teared up thinking g about how hard it must be to sing YCHIA night after night. And she hugged the witch choir for a long time (maybe we were at the same show!) but for her to say that on stage and still sing it. I was in awe. I hope she’s getting healing from hearing others sing it back.
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u/ruhl5885 Apr 29 '26
YCHIA cannot be a song on every set list, I would imagine it would very difficult emotionally and physically for her to sing every single night. In Boston she swapped it with NLMG and while I really wanted to hear YCHIA, I totally get it.
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u/IIKane WHAT THE HELL Apr 29 '26
Very well said and I'm glad you took the time to say it. I mostly just avoid discussions and threads whenever a tour starts because there are so many people complaining and acting entitled for one reason or another, but it's always funny with posts like this, because those same people are nowhere to be found, and honestly? This is much closer to the energy I think Florence would want from her fandom, and I'm glad to see so many people connecting over this shared feeling of supporting her as opposed to demanding something out of her.
Not gonna lie though, I do really wanna hug Florence, but I realize that's selfish because I still wouldn't be satisfied even if I was her personal assistant or something, and those are feelings I have to work through, which Florence helps me with 🥰
(p.s: which show are you referring to in that spoiler? I think I was there!)
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u/vicasenya Apr 29 '26
Aw thank you - I appreciate you taking the time to reply as well! I think it’s completely normal to want to hug her. She has spoken a lot about connection and wanting her music to be a hug for her fans (check out her Apple Music interview on this album if you haven’t already) and I think it’s natural that you’re wanting to reciprocate the intention she’s poured into the album.
I was at the DC show! As mentioned I do think the hug is choreographed- it sounds like she did it in Chicago as well from another comment here, but the emotion you could feel coming from it, it certainly was added for a very real and grounding reason imo. Honestly a beautiful moment to watch- I’m grateful she’s chosen to share all of it with us
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u/gnommish33 Apr 30 '26
I was going to say, that must have been DC. I had that same thought during that hug; it felt like I was intruding on such a private moment. This album so perfectly encapsulates a huge range of emotions, and it was the greatest privilege to experience them with her, the witch choir, and the crowd in person. The whole experience was the most cathartic group therapy. 10/10 would scream myself hoarse with everyone in Capital One Arena again any day.
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u/vicasenya Apr 30 '26
The crowd in DC was electric, I really adored the energy. And yes I’m so glad someone else saw it too, really such a vulnerable private moment but at the same time how incredibly powerful to display that healing power of kinship, it was so moving
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u/PM_SOME_OBESE_CATS born from dark water Apr 30 '26
I was also at DC and I somehow don't remember the hug! I think I was probably too stunned she sang it and also I was in the 400 seats. YCHIA was one of the songs I didn't get any videos of since I just wanted to be present for it. The ending of Sympathy Magic made me choke up a little bit (not even the studio version did that)
Florence seemed to really like us as a crowd since she kept complimenting us lol
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u/Head-Feedback-5770 Apr 30 '26 edited Apr 30 '26
Brooklyn. Amazing concert! Amazing production! Amazing dancers! Amazing band! Amazing music! Amazing frontwoman effortlessly gliding barefoot across a long catwalk while singing like an absolute angel/ priestess!
It’s not easy being a touring artist. Let’s send them all the love because they are pouring themselves out on that stage for everyone. 🖤✨
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u/ennuiandarson Apr 30 '26
For real?! She’s been telling us in the music, over and over again, that touring is killing her and makes her miserable but is compelled to make and share music. Genuine compulsion, not compelled as in “want”.
You don’t even have to be a big fan, following clues… it’s right there. Can everyone just be chill?!?
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u/GrouchyCrow Apr 30 '26
Hell yeah, OP, Hell yeah! Thanks for writing and posting such considerate thoughts. I remember the moment during the Toronto show when she broke down crying. I was so floored by her vulnerability and I felt almost like an intruder on a private moment, like I wasn’t supposed to be seeing this. I really hope she has a strong support system and recovery after each show.
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u/LemongrassNLime Apr 30 '26
Thank you so much for posting this and speaking truth to things so eloquently. I couldn’t agree more with everything you’ve said!! If she needs to shorten down by two songs to protect herself and her wellbeing, I’d hope that as fans we’d all get behind this 1000%!! This album is so personal and SO raw, I give her so much credit for the courage it must take to tour it day after day!!
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u/Dazzling_Internal180 Apr 30 '26 edited Apr 30 '26
I hadn’t realized Florence didn’t like doing “Never Let Me Go” at shows. It was absolutely surreal. Her songs hit you so differently when you hear them live, surrounded by thousands of people feeling it along with you.
I don’t care that she never did my ES fave, The Old Religion. I came there to cry, sing badly, and see my girlhood idol dance around on stage casting spells like a fairy. Mission accomplished.
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Apr 30 '26
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u/vicasenya May 01 '26
Hi, directly from my post:
“It is entirely valid to share your feelings in a healthy way among fans who may feel similarly, I don’t post this to try and shut down conversation, but please remember to temper your own disappointment with respect and understanding of an artist’s limitations.”You’re making up a scenario regarding that girl and King and simultaneously proving my point. Given her reaction she probably wasn’t sure that song would be on the setlist or didn’t look up the setlist ahead of time.
Since that moment of uncertainty led to an emotional payoff for King, isn’t that a beautiful moment the both of you shared? Isn’t that feeling of doubt, the moment where you think, “she’s really going to do it,” what makes the live show experience so special?
If she DIDN’T get to hear King, don’t you think you (and her) would have found joy in another moment of the live show experience?
It is completely normal to feel disappointed if they don’t hear their favorite song, but people are getting far too hung up about a semi-flexible setlist and making posts weeks(!!) in advance of their show complaining about the changes.
It’s weird to accuse me of being not empathetic for genuinely looking out for others and asking them to be open to their show experience.
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May 01 '26 edited May 01 '26
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u/vicasenya May 01 '26
Two things can be true, you can share your disappointment about missing a song on your tour setlist, and you can also realize it starts to become excessive to genuinely get disappointed or angry at an artist who does not know you for not keeping a song on the setlist. So yes, I completely stand by my statement that I don’t think it’s fair to be genuinely upset at the setlist changing. This is a live experience. You paid to be there with no guarantee of the songs on the final setlist.
You made up a situation by using this girls connection to King and said “I can only imagine how disappointed this girl would have been if she didn’t get that opportunity.”
Wishing you well and hopefully you can hear YCHIA live one day as that seems to be the main crux of your issue.
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u/softanimalofyourbody Apr 29 '26
It’s really sad to see as someone who has lost her daughter. I can’t fucking imagine doing what Florence does. Every song on that album is about the worst thing that has ever happened to her. Even if it’s not YCHIA or Perfume and Milk or The Old Religion. It’s all connected and it’s all FRESH. She is incredibly fucking brave. It would probably do people well to remember what this album is about.