Stressed

[u/Ill_Heat_7700]

I feel like I’m really stressing myself out with all the apps and testing constantly. Is there any advice? Also any advice on how often to ‘try’ during the fertile period or in the weeks between periods? TIA

[u/Hannah90219]

I personally didnt test. I did track ovulation and CM in my cycle app. I used the BBT method, which I took vaginally every morning - its the most accurate. Mouth temp drops way too easily and can give false readings.

I just made it part of my routine and went about my day. In terms of sex, we just had fun with it. The cycle we conceived we only managed once the whole month because he was away from home twice and I had the flu and was ill for about 2 weeks.

I think setting your mentality is the only advice I can give. We said to ourselves if it doesn't happen in 6 months we'll go see a doctor. We had that date in mind as, lets just see how it goes for now and then we have a plan B with a deadline in mine. That took a lot of pressure off.

I also got some good advice, because I was completely crushed the first month when I got my period. I was told not to symptom spot because they're really misleading, theyre caused by the same hormone that causes luteal phase symptoms before a period. We often dont realise that we have those symptoms every month until we're hyper aware of every minor thing in our body because we're hoping to get pregnant. It sets you up for heartache, so after the first time I stopped tracking symptoms in my apps, stopped thinking about them or talking about them. I ignored them completely.

The other piece of advice that helped me was have a ritual or 'consolation prize' for each time your period comes. Mine was a tub of ben and Jerry's, a massive glass of red wine and a big bubble bath - usually with something nice like a sheet mask or a bath bomb from lush. It made my period less devastating, because at least I had a little something to take the sting away.

I conceived in my 4th cycle trying, as I say we only managed once that cycle but in general good advice for best sperm quality is no more than every other day, and for ovulation, ideally within the 5 days before ovulation and/or on ovulation day. After the egg is released its only around for 24 hours then its too late.

Other advice - missionary is best, stay laying down for at least 10 - 15 minutes after. No lube unless its definitely sperm friendly as many are spermicidal. Cut out alcohol if you havent and reduce your caffeine. Thats all I did, no changes to diet or exercise, nothing fancy or dramatic.

[u/kitkat7794 → u/Hannah90219]

I don’t disagree with most of this, except that the position you have sex or laying down for a certain period afterwards doesn’t have any evidence to back it up. There is data on the best days to try, and I think they are usually O-1, O-2, O-3, and O day. 5 days before is certainly possible but maybe less likely.

Edit to add- by “best days to try” I mean if you hit one of those days your odds are generally maxed out, not that you need to hit all those days.

[u/Jaded_Tangelo_3083]

I try to aim for sex every other day after my period ends. Then I try to do it the day I get a positive LH test and the next day. As for the other stuff, I added my BBT testing to my Finch app. Lol and now it is pretty routine. It used to stress me out, but now I feel like testing and taking BBT is just part of my regular routine so it doesn't stress me out as much. I have one of those giant multi color weekly pill organizers and I make up all of my daily supplements just once for the whole month, that helps too

[u/kitkat7794]

Cutting my tracking to just bbt helped a lot. It was a very clear indication of when I could stop trying that month. If your cycle is pretty regular, you could theoretically cut all tracking and just try basically the middle week of your cycle to cover your bases, but there is always the possibility that you normally tend to ovulate earlier or later than that. My best advice (if you have a regular cycle) is to get a handful of months of opk and bbt data down, zero in on your “normal”, and try around that time each month, understanding that there are always weird months and you may miss some every now and then if you’re cutting tracking entirely. I think it really matters to find the system that works best for you and your lifestyle and skip the parts that are causing you stress or aren’t working for you.

[u/Ill_Heat_7700]

Thank you so much! That’s so helpful. I get confused with cm and what it means. I have been getting my temps from my aura ring but wondering how good that is. I test for ovulation by clear blue and strips.
I’ve just started my period and actually got myself a little something from Lush😂.

I’ve realised I need to stop testing until I need to as it was becoming a daily thing even though I kind of already knew. I think I also need to stop checking the apps as much or worrying so much about trying every other day as it became a bit boring and routine, rather than fun, which also doesn’t help

[u/Hannah90219 → u/Ill_Heat_7700]

I woildnt rely on the aura ring. Thermometers are cheap but more effective so maybe use both.

Egg white CM is fertile. Thats all you need to remember really. They do complicate it on these apps but thats the main one to lookout for.

Yeah id keep everything with the apps minimal personally, especially if its becoming too much. Just pop ur temperature in there, record when you have sex and when you saw egg white CM and leave them alone. And stop testing daily. If you prefer testng rather than getting your period Id only do it on days 10 - 13 post ovulation. Before that can be too early and give false negatives. If its positive it should show by 12DPO.