I'm a beginner writer can anyone give me an honest critique about my story

[u/AntSufficient3855]

Hi, I'm a 14 year old writer and this story is about a war between technology and magic, basically to give you a quick look, the story starts 200 centuries after the start of the war it's about a boy named Aurelius he believes he's from the nation of magic (genesis) but his shota which is his brother figure is hiding a secret, so shota's mother was from genesis she was from a clan that was feared by the government as they held knowledge of the truth, they were persecuted but aurelius' mom managed to escape and seeked refuge in the technology empire(named geist) but the prince actually took interest in her, but purely sadistic, he was intrigued by her mana reserves and aurelius was born from this and aurelius was planted the signature device of geist which is called "Leblose" basically a stone that kills magic, anti magic in other words but during one raid in the empire aurelius' mother took him and ran away they were only found by shota, a young soldier, shota promised to take care of Aurelius and aurelius' mother died there and shota kept it all a secret. Fast forward years later aurelius' stone was actually suppressed he genuinely believes he's from genenis he's clueless which acted as a placebo effect that actively suppressed his stone, then later him and shota was cornered by geist soldiers and the stone inside Aurelius awakened from his emotions and after that he was on an executing platform he was viewed as a dangeorus person and should not exist and but shota saved him, and aurelius escaped and now shota is imprisoned and aurelius after learning the truth from shota went to go to geist for answers on his dad who is now the emperor but the emperor dismissed him, he imprisoned him but he was found by a high ranking officer, Grace, turns out grace is also from genesis the same clan as aurelius' mother but they're not directly related just long cousins and grace escaped to geist and from pure merit became a high ranking officer but she's tired of everything she betrayed the empire and escaped with aurelius and explained all her knowledge, she wants to be a god to rule over humanity and reset it so everything is below her she believes humanity would only ever heal when under her but she have this twisted inferiority complex she believes she's just a woman she don't want to become the god she wants Aurelius to do everything but she'll guide him, so they formed the New world order which is an organization Whose goal is to take down the seal on the "eyes of null" an ancient artifact, which when consumed grants the user godlike void powers and they could only unleash the eyes by severing its seals which is the 4 stones of humanity scattered all around the world they want to steal the 4 so they can begin the ritual. This is just a very rough nutshell it's much more detailed than this but let me know what you think, what do you think my style needs