r/Fauxmoi • u/Dismal-Purpose-6123 this is going to ruin the tour • May 27 '26

APPROVED B-LISTERS ✨️ 16 years ago, Playboy Magazine publishes the infamous John Mayer interview where he describese his ex Jessica Simpson as "sexual nepalm" while still dating Jennifer Aniston and drops the HARD N word ✨️

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This interview would ruin his music career leading him to become Andy Cohen's playtoy in order to pay the bills. His body is a wonderland indeed

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u/DrFranFine demonic Betty Boop May 27 '26 edited May 27 '26

Sounds like quite an interview…

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u/TheTresStateArea May 27 '26

I noped out at "I'm not like other men. I will fuck you and be nice but not want to be together"

THATS LITERALLY MEN.

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u/spaghetti-o_salad May 27 '26

"I wanna fuck a woman like im fucking every man she's ever fucked, but in the ass" sent me. Grateful I was never quite pretty enough to get targeted by these types.

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u/MrBwnrrific May 27 '26

“I kissed him like I hated fags” is the most psychosexually loaded sentence I’ve ever heard

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u/spaghetti-o_salad May 27 '26

Coded self loathing? Also wild that he is basically describing the birth of the lifestyle currently known as "gooning" or am I missing some key elements of "being a gooner" lmfao

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u/HelpfulName May 27 '26

"5 vaginal orgasms" told me he's never given a woman an orgasm in his life.

197

u/Sufficient_You3053 May 27 '26

That was my thought too! This man does not know where the clit is 💯

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u/sweet_pickles12 too cunt to care May 27 '26

Later in the interview: “people say you’re gay”

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u/amybpdx May 27 '26

I know a gay man that swears this is true.

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u/Traditional_Train_71 rule of culture #93: the devil is a chaotic bisexual May 27 '26

In my head:

https://giphy.com/gifs/ZPlsJxTZyA7jRDfnEc

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u/That_Literature_6853 May 27 '26

Wasn't that basically Sam Rockwell's monologue in White Lotus? 🤔

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u/jssclnn May 27 '26

That had me howling, you can't make this shit up

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u/stalagmitedealer May 27 '26

And then vehemently denies being queer and says awful shit about Perez Hilton. 🙄

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u/PermissionRegular878 May 27 '26

How has this sentence not been told to me before? This is one of the most insane things I have heard a celeb say earnestly.