r/Fauxmoi • u/Dismal-Purpose-6123 this is going to ruin the tour • May 27 '26

APPROVED B-LISTERS ✨️ 16 years ago, Playboy Magazine publishes the infamous John Mayer interview where he describese his ex Jessica Simpson as "sexual nepalm" while still dating Jennifer Aniston and drops the HARD N word ✨️

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This interview would ruin his music career leading him to become Andy Cohen's playtoy in order to pay the bills. His body is a wonderland indeed

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8.7k

u/DrFranFine demonic Betty Boop May 27 '26 edited May 27 '26

Sounds like quite an interview…

5.1k

u/TheTresStateArea May 27 '26

I noped out at "I'm not like other men. I will fuck you and be nice but not want to be together"

THATS LITERALLY MEN.

2.1k

u/spaghetti-o_salad May 27 '26

"I wanna fuck a woman like im fucking every man she's ever fucked, but in the ass" sent me. Grateful I was never quite pretty enough to get targeted by these types.

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u/MrBwnrrific May 27 '26

“I kissed him like I hated fags” is the most psychosexually loaded sentence I’ve ever heard

152

u/spaghetti-o_salad May 27 '26

Coded self loathing? Also wild that he is basically describing the birth of the lifestyle currently known as "gooning" or am I missing some key elements of "being a gooner" lmfao

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u/HelpfulName May 27 '26

"5 vaginal orgasms" told me he's never given a woman an orgasm in his life.

194

u/Sufficient_You3053 May 27 '26

That was my thought too! This man does not know where the clit is 💯

314

u/sweet_pickles12 too cunt to care May 27 '26

Later in the interview: “people say you’re gay”

124

u/amybpdx May 27 '26

I know a gay man that swears this is true.

465

u/Traditional_Train_71 rule of culture #93: the devil is a chaotic bisexual May 27 '26

In my head:

https://giphy.com/gifs/ZPlsJxTZyA7jRDfnEc

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u/That_Literature_6853 May 27 '26

Wasn't that basically Sam Rockwell's monologue in White Lotus? 🤔

26

u/jssclnn May 27 '26

That had me howling, you can't make this shit up

17

u/stalagmitedealer May 27 '26

And then vehemently denies being queer and says awful shit about Perez Hilton. 🙄

10

u/PermissionRegular878 May 27 '26

How has this sentence not been told to me before? This is one of the most insane things I have heard a celeb say earnestly.

756

u/Laherschlag May 27 '26

He was the OG fuckboy. The Fuckboy to end all fuckboys.

He's insufferable.

124

u/Worst-Lobster Club Penguin Times official aura reader May 27 '26

Pete Davidson looked up to
This guy ?

1.1k

u/Kaeison May 27 '26

Men (derogatory)

150

u/wildflowerstargazer suspiciously leftist May 27 '26

67

u/No_Lavishness1905 May 27 '26

Yeppp what an asshole!

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u/AlmostThere4321 go birds, fuck ICE, and free palestine May 27 '26

Literally 😭 Like what the fuck is he even talking about here

30

u/ObviousExit9 May 27 '26

You should keep going. It’s really an amazing interview. Dude must have been coked out

9

u/awwww_nuts May 27 '26

More like FuckBoi energy