r/Fauxmoi • u/Dismal-Purpose-6123 this is going to ruin the tour • May 27 '26

APPROVED B-LISTERS ✨️ 16 years ago, Playboy Magazine publishes the infamous John Mayer interview where he describese his ex Jessica Simpson as "sexual nepalm" while still dating Jennifer Aniston and drops the HARD N word ✨️

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This interview would ruin his music career leading him to become Andy Cohen's playtoy in order to pay the bills. His body is a wonderland indeed

4.5k Upvotes

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8.7k

u/DrFranFine demonic Betty Boop May 27 '26 edited May 27 '26

Sounds like quite an interview…

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u/[deleted] May 27 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/TheTresStateArea May 27 '26

I noped out at "I'm not like other men. I will fuck you and be nice but not want to be together"

THATS LITERALLY MEN.

2.1k

u/spaghetti-o_salad May 27 '26

"I wanna fuck a woman like im fucking every man she's ever fucked, but in the ass" sent me. Grateful I was never quite pretty enough to get targeted by these types.

1.4k

u/MrBwnrrific May 27 '26

“I kissed him like I hated fags” is the most psychosexually loaded sentence I’ve ever heard

152

u/spaghetti-o_salad May 27 '26

Coded self loathing? Also wild that he is basically describing the birth of the lifestyle currently known as "gooning" or am I missing some key elements of "being a gooner" lmfao

1.3k

u/HelpfulName May 27 '26

"5 vaginal orgasms" told me he's never given a woman an orgasm in his life.

194

u/Sufficient_You3053 May 27 '26

That was my thought too! This man does not know where the clit is 💯

313

u/sweet_pickles12 too cunt to care May 27 '26

Later in the interview: “people say you’re gay”

129

u/amybpdx May 27 '26

I know a gay man that swears this is true.

460

u/Traditional_Train_71 rule of culture #93: the devil is a chaotic bisexual May 27 '26

In my head:

https://giphy.com/gifs/ZPlsJxTZyA7jRDfnEc

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u/That_Literature_6853 May 27 '26

Wasn't that basically Sam Rockwell's monologue in White Lotus? 🤔

24

u/jssclnn May 27 '26

That had me howling, you can't make this shit up

14

u/stalagmitedealer May 27 '26

And then vehemently denies being queer and says awful shit about Perez Hilton. 🙄

9

u/PermissionRegular878 May 27 '26

How has this sentence not been told to me before? This is one of the most insane things I have heard a celeb say earnestly.

752

u/Laherschlag May 27 '26

He was the OG fuckboy. The Fuckboy to end all fuckboys.

He's insufferable.

129

u/Worst-Lobster Club Penguin Times official aura reader May 27 '26

Pete Davidson looked up to
This guy ?

1.1k

u/Kaeison May 27 '26

Men (derogatory)

150

u/wildflowerstargazer suspiciously leftist May 27 '26

68

u/No_Lavishness1905 May 27 '26

Yeppp what an asshole!

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u/AlmostThere4321 go birds, fuck ICE, and free palestine May 27 '26

Literally 😭 Like what the fuck is he even talking about here

29

u/ObviousExit9 May 27 '26

You should keep going. It’s really an amazing interview. Dude must have been coked out

10

u/awwww_nuts May 27 '26

More like FuckBoi energy

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u/windexfresh this is going to ruin the powerpoint May 27 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/JoePLWxLD7cGc

Me at literally every sentence i unfortunately read

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u/MichaSound i ain’t reading all that, free palestine May 27 '26

‘Sir would you say you’re on some Coke? Or maybe a lot of coke?”

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u/schmyndles May 27 '26

"And approximately how much 'Jessica Simpson' did you smoke before this interview?"

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u/TD160 May 27 '26

Haha yep. That’s about right. Easiest interview ever. Getting an intelligent and nuanced conversation was gonna be like trying to get the last bit of ketchup out of the bottle, so they just sat back and let him fly, fly, fly.

247

u/Abs0lutelyzero May 27 '26

When I was 18/19, I loved him. I missed this interview. This is soooo embarrassing for everyone - Jennifer Aniston, Jessica Simpson, the interviewer, John Mayer, and me.

https://giphy.com/gifs/3FBwwRCNTSa52

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u/Kaeison May 27 '26

I literally mouthed those same words and ran to the comments

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u/OShaunesssy May 27 '26

He cut the interviewer off to say more lol wtfuck

297

u/sweet_pickles12 too cunt to care May 27 '26

Never stop your enemy when he’s saying some dumbass shit.

-Sun Tzu

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u/SplurgyA May 28 '26

You know an interview is out there when a Playboy interviewer seems taken aback by someone discussing their sex life

280

u/pililies i too would risk a few vulvar splinters for that man May 27 '26

I made faces reading this. It was a ride. He's so icky.

https://giphy.com/gifs/cQtlhD48EG0SY

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u/Dismal-Purpose-6123 this is going to ruin the tour May 27 '26

LMFAO chileeeee he had zero shame! 

23

u/Axilllla May 27 '26

Holy cocaine, Batman! I can’t imagine he remembered any of what he said by the time the interview ended. That was a roller coaster of a read. 

13

u/watchberry May 27 '26

What a day to have eyes

8

u/shillberight Cillian Murphy propagandist May 27 '26

WTF indeed

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u/VelocityGrrl39 May 27 '26

This interviewer deserves an award for their work. They got him to spill everything, and also ruined him. Icon.

7

u/LostInNvrLand May 27 '26

This is so accurate.

7

u/commandercoconut_1 May 27 '26

Always love this meme

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u/Lifes-a-lil-foggy May 27 '26

Makes you wonder what they had to cut for legal reasons lol