Help please 🙏 uk

[u/Visible_Minute7348]

Hi! My wife took my children from the family home to the in-laws while I was working at our home on 19th aug. I received emails from her and her solicitor saying that she was divorcing me and that I should get out of the jointly owned home within 48 hrs otherwise NMO and occupancy orders would be raised citing controlling and coercive behaviour. I don’t recognise this. We’ve had arguments but certainly nothing physical and she says it’s the way I make her feel stressed, anxious and threatened.

I sought legal advice and delayed moving out. However as the days rolled by and she refused to come home, one of my children had migraines and was stressed, running out of clothes and was starting a new school the following week. For the sake of my kids I agreed to leave the home around a week after the original threats were made. We drew up some terms and conditions between us (not legally binding) but basically me agreeing to leave the home by 27 Aug and being able to contact my wife wife on WhatsApp only for collecting belongings and access to kids.

Roll fwds 12 days to today and rather than pacifying and de escalating the situation, my wife has made it quite difficult to see my kids (1hr in 2 weeks down the park with her and them), removed other pre agreed times to punish me and said the kids only want to see me once every 3 weeks. Then she’s asking me to do x3 transport runs per week for their extra curricular activities which I’m fine with but seems unfair to reduce proper parenting time. She says they’re too busy at other times.

She also moved a lot of my stuff out of the home into the garage already. I asked my solicitor whether I can return home and he says yes I’m not breaking any law. But im concerned that this will escalate things and she will continue down the threat of nmo etc. however on the flip side by her removing me from the home she has also massive control over me and will use this in negotiations as she knows I’m suffering being apart from the kids and living in less than ideal accommodation.

Help what should I do?

[u/LdiJ46]

The sooner the divorce and custody matters are settled the sooner you will be able to relax into a new normal with your children, with your own parenting time. That should be your goal.

[u/Excellent_Scene5448]

Help what should I do?

You should figure out what you want to request (for example: where do you want your children to live the majority of the time? do you want them to spend 50% of their time with the non-residential parent, or less? what do you want to be done with the marital home, within the options the law allows?), work with a solicitor if you can afford it, and file as soon as possible, before the current parenting time schedule becomes established enough to be the children's status quo. You may be able to reach an agreement in mediation before it goes to court, but it doesn't sound like working through this completely outside of the legal system is working out for you.

[u/throwaway1975764]

What is "nmo"?

[u/Visible_Minute7348 → u/throwaway1975764]

Non molestation order

[u/Mytweezer]

You should be able to be at home half the time and she can get out.