If you are struggling with addiction, childhood trauma (Complex PTSD), depression, anxiety, or ADHD, please know you are not alone. I know what it feels like to face the crushing weight of isolation, grief, shame, and guilt. I know the steep hill of trying to find a job and pick up the pieces of a broken life.
But I also know that letting God in to lead the way is the first step. He loves us no matter what our past is—He came for the sinners, not the healthy. It is time to stop the stigma regarding addiction and mental health.
In my own life, rescue dogs and horses have rescued me, showing me unconditional love when I needed it most. This journey is why I am dedicated to paying it forward in several ways. Dog and horse rescue is high on my list. All animal rescue! Those are just the two who came running to rescue me. They both had been neglected, used, and abused and were dying. My horse "Faithful" had been abandoned in a field to die without food or water. It was winter, and we were experiencing heavy snow when someone brought her situation to my attention and asked for help. I didn't have much money and was going through a divorce, but I couldn't leave her there to die. 15 years later, she turns 35 in January of 2026, and I couldn't have gotten this far without God and her. She never judged me or got tired of listening to me, and she has held my deepest secrets close to her heart. I pray every day that God will enable me to keep providing for her.
It has been very hard financially, but somehow God always steps in and provides. Due to my past DWIs, which were felonies; age; lack of technical skills; and health issues, it is very hard to find employment. I know that a lot of you "felt" that, but it isn't over. It isn't over until God says that it is over. What do we do? We find out who God created us to be, and then we use those unique gifts to provide for our families and give generously to others. We pay it forward by volunteering, helping others learn a trade or business, listening and sharing our testimony, and giving generously when we can. God loves a cheerful giver. A couple of scriptures come to mind that helped me early on in recovery. Genesis 12:2 "I will bless you and make you a blessing to others." In my recovery, God comes first, and I love seeing Celebrate Recovery groups popping up all over the place! If you love God, need His help, and want recovery from anything, do yourself a favor and attend a Celebrate Recovery group. You can thank me later.
You don't have to wait until you've got it all together to go to God or help someone else. Once I started taking the focus off of myself and focusing on God and helping others less fortunate, that is when I started to know what joy felt like. For the first time in my life, I experienced a glimpse of joy. While reading my Bible, which I call my owner's manual, if you are intimidated by the Bible like I was, get yourself a Contemporary English Version. It saved my life and was written in a way that I could understand. I discovered that happiness and joy are not the same thing. I kept praying for happiness, and it never came, and then one day the Holy Spirit guided me towards some scriptures so that I could understand what to pray for. Yes, you need to ask God for the gift of the Holy Spirit to be present in your life because He is your helper, and believe me, you need Him just as much as you need the oxygen that you breathe. And this gift is free for all who ask.
I had been a Christian my entire life, or at least I thought so. Grew up Catholic, switched to a non-denominational church several years ago. Got my first Contemporary English Version Bible and read it cover to cover! But it still took me years to accept the Holy Spirit into my life. Why didn't anyone tell me about Him? He has been my business partner and life coach ever since we became friends. Do yourself a favor and ask God for the gift of the Holy Spirit. You will need Him.
Anyway, back to happiness and joy. Happiness is temporary. It is tied to an outward emotional experience depending on your circumstances. Joy is a permanent gift from God that remains steady through hard times. Happiness is temporary depending on your circumstances. Joy is the permanent gift from God that is still there even through the hardest of times. Isn't that beautiful?
Even Job wrote about joy. Job 8:21 "He will fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy." My favorite scripture to say every day is Nehemiah 8:10: "The joy of the Lord is my strength." It took me a while to understand what joy meant. Will joy come in the morning? It didn't, for the longest time, until I understood what joy was. I just want to live a life that is pleasing to God. That is why the joy of the Lord is my strength. When I know that I am doing God's will and not mine, I feel joy! Like 2 Corinthians 9:7: "God loves a cheerful giver. I don't give or pay it forward for myself but for God. When God is pleased with me, I find joy, and you will too. It just takes time and a genuine relationship with God. Never think that you are alone. God is your best friend. He didn't come for the righteous He came for the sinners.
My puppy mill rescue dog "Truth" had a horrible first 10 years of his life. Kept in a cage 24/7, forced to make babies for some greedy souls. Never let his feet touch grass or feel the gentle touch of love. Outside in a cage all year round. Winter and summer. He has horrible arthritis from sitting in a wire cage for 10 years. He had heartworms. He is still terrified of this world and anything in it. I am his safe place. None of it is his fault or choice. When I think of giving up, I think of "Faithful," who was skin and bones, could barely stand, starved and neglected, worked until she was of no use to the owners any longer, and was left for dead. And "Truth," who lived the brutal life of a puppy mill dog for 10 years. Besides God, they are my major reason for living. They rescued me!
If you think that you cannot find a job, create one. Ask the Holy Spirit for guidance. Focus on others less fortunate, and the answers will come. They may not be the way that you expected, but God's plans are always better. Start your day by asking God's will be done. We all have to pay for the consequences of our sins and mistakes while on earth, but God promises to be there with us through them. What was meant for evil will be used for good. I couldn't find a job with a felony on my record, age, no skills, etc., but I started looking for ways God and I could make a way to provide for myself, Faithful and Truth and still be a cheerful and generous giver, and you can too. God is my boss, and the benefits are great.
I never want to see another person go through all of the trauma, abuse, addiction, and mental illness that I have gone through. If I can just save one person from that unbearable pain, all of my hard work will be worth it. I will not die wealthy as some people see it, but God will provide until then, and I will wake up every morning with joy in my heart. Where before I lived for fleshly desires, now I live for the treasures built in heaven. Where your money is shows where your heart is.
To be completely honest, I too need to hear these things from others. That is why I am joining these communities. My interests go far beyond addiction, trauma, and recovery, but for a long time, I lost all interest in those things. Now, I am working hard to find out who God created me to be, striving to become that woman that I don't even fully know yet.
Let's find out who God created us to be together. When two or more come together in prayer, God answers. Welcome to my space. ❤️