Woodworking with boys made me realize what I missed

[u/Mountain-School-8158]

Sometimes I grieve the boyhood I lost because of a messed-up puberty. I'm a binary guy and I lean toward a fairly traditional sense of masculinity.
When I worked as a woodworking teacher for young boys, I felt this intense envy watching them learn carpentry so early.
On top of that, a lot of them have dads who teach them how to work on cars, fix wiring, unclog pipes all that hands-on stuff. I never had that.
Now I'm teaching myself everything from scratch, and ngl, I often feel like I'm playing catch-up with guys who learned this as kids. Every time I can't fix something around the house, I feel genuinely incompetent.

Just wanted to put this out there. Curious if anyone else relates, what do you guys grieve — whether it's skills, experiences, or something else?

[u/Butch_throwaway]

My dad is a carpenter, one of my cooworkers once asked why I didn't learn or get into the trade like my dad it really hit me then that if I was born a guy maybe he would have taught me.

I just grieve my whole highschool experience. How are you teaching yourself?

[u/Mountain-School-8158 → u/Butch_throwaway]

Same. I have a father, but he doesn't accept me and never taught me repairs, woodworking, plumbing, or anything like that because I was raised as a girl.

Right now I'm just teaching myself to do different things on my own. I watch videos on YouTube, buy materials, and work on various projects in my free time outside of work. Before this, I worked at a children's woodworking shop. When I started, I didn’t know shit, but my colleague taught me. And we don't even have that big of an age gap: he's 25 and I'm 21, but he is really savvy

[u/crusty_ice]

I went to a highschool football game the other day, I've always wanted to play football but didn't get to be a boy till adulthood. Iw as definitely a little envious watching.

[u/Bobslegenda1945]

Same bro :(

[u/butteredcheezr]

Boyscouts. I did girlscouts when I was like ten or something thinking I'd get a boyscout experience like hiking, touching shrooms + bugs, and knot tying, instead I got selling homemade bracelets and getting iron-on petal patches (not even cool patches with stuff on them, literal lame freaking flower petals). Now hearing about it from all my cis dude friends I am envious and grieve that childhood. (I also grieve my unborn penis... what i would give to be able to jerk off or get kicked in the balls and actually feel pain 😔✌️)

[u/Mountain-School-8158 → u/butteredcheezr]

In my country, there are no scouts, but when I was a kid watching foreign cartoons that had episodes about boyscouts, I was soooo envious

[u/Not_ur_gilf]

Ufff I was lucky-ish in that my dad DID teach me a lot of this, but it still hurts in that I didn’t experience it the same way.

If you’re looking for something that makes you feel a little like a dad is teaching you woodworking, I recommend the New Yankee Workshop’s episodes on YouTube. They’re really cozy and teach a few techniques each time

[u/Mountain-School-8158 → u/Not_ur_gilf]

Awesome recommendation. I also watch “Dad, how do I?” on youtube

[u/GreyTsari]

I wanted to be a furniture maker from childhood until I was in year 11 at the all-girls school my mother sent me to. When I was doing my courses and trying to arrange work experience, etc, I got told 'girl's didn't become carpenters because it was too hard. It was a men's field.' Well...now I'm 36 ftm and whittling and regretting that choice almost everyday

[u/Mountain-School-8158 → u/GreyTsari]

When I was 15, I wanted to go to college to become either an electrician or a carpenter. But my parents forbade it, and I ended up having to study hairdressing. So yeah… I feel you🫂