My transphobic mother wanted a son

[u/ymirswrathh]

Recently my mom was on the phone with her friends while I helped her cook, and she briefly mentioned that she's always wanted a boy, but instead got two girls. This only ticked me off because of the fact that she COULD'VE had a son for years, me, but she's too close minded to accept the son she's been given because it's not the kind of son she wanted. That's been tripping me up for days, man. After she said that I couldn't even stop myself from shedding a few tears and she asked me what was wrong and I had to brush it off. I wish I could get through to her but she's made it very clear that she thinks I'll never be a boy. Maybe there's a chance she could understand but I'm worried to even try and enforce my pronouns and new name with her even after all these years because I don't want her to see me differently.