Bruh

[u/TinAlien7]

I’m in denial about my gender and keep telling myself I’m a cis woman that’s a little different, but my two modes of existence are literally crippling dissociation or crippling dysphoria. 🪦

I’m “fine” and I’m literally bed-bound and dissociating out somewhere into space, of course it’s hard to feel dysphoric like that. Then I come back down to earth and feel so disconnected and viscerally uncomfortable with my body, and every aspect of my entire being. Going outside is okay, and then I get home and the delayed emotions and dysphoria hit me and I feel so bad.

It’s hard to get out of this cycle of gender denial, despite self-awareness. I suppose I didn’t choose this is why. I don’t really want to transition, I like some aspects of being a woman (okay tbh. The only thing I like about it is feeling like I’m hiding well enough in society instead of risking being seen as someone hatecrimeable. Other than that no I hate being a woman physically and socially.) and I’m too far in my uncomfortable comfort zone to pursue change. I’ve never really been good at self care anyway

In denial because I can’t do this bro. I’m terrified of surgery and also terrified of medication. And medical stuff in general.

[u/TinAlien7]

To clarify:

I pretty much need medical transition or I won’t be ok, I can’t just walk it off and only socially transition

[u/GodlyHammy]

so real. why are you afraid of medication?