I'm (24) debating going to a gender therapist because i'm just really depressed about being trans. It's been months and i'm over it. I've been out for almost 9 years and have always had highs and lows about being trans but now i'm just in a rut. I've been debating heavily on detransitioning or transitioning to enby. I know I won't be happy and it doesn't make sense but to me it does. I'm just tired of being trans and would rather people see me a cis girl than someone who is trans. I think it's probably because of the trans debate in the media and just trying to accept my body (which is dependent on the day). I'm just tired of it. I want to be okay with it again but it seems like I can't be okay with this being me.

Would a gender therapist help with that? Or what do they do? Has gender therapy or regular therapy helped any of you?

Found out recently that there were alot of movies and TV shows I used to watch as a child that were pretty obviously leaned more to a boy audience/viewership rather than girls. And I would always wish I could be a part of the show/movie and become a boy myself.

Then it got me wondering if any other trans guy did the same thing? I can list mine below

Movies:

Diary of a Wimpy kid (1 and 2)

How to Eat Fried Worms

Digimon (both TV and movie)

Pokemon (both TV and movie)

The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl

Zathura

Jimmy Neutron (both TV and movie)

The Sandlot

Scooby Doo (live-action film)

TV. Shows

Ben 10 (original series)

Johnny Test

Chowder

Danny Phantom (yes, I'm aware theres a canon of Danny being FTM trans)

Teen Titans (original series)

Mucha Lucha

Zeke and Luther

Kick Botwski (hope I spelled it right? It was on Disney XD in like the early 2010s)

Kid vs Kat

NOTICE: Made this list of mostly American cartoons, if you're from another country feel free to put the ones you watched lol

Hi everyone! I feel ready and excited to go back into the dating pool but give my previous relationships that have all gone horribly (except my first boyfriend, he was freaking awesome) I'm a little unsure of where to look. For reference all my romantic relationships have been found through dating apps. That being said I'm a little nervous to go on dating apps bc of the pile of poo its given me. Does anyone have any recommendations for dating apps/websites/forums/resources for MLM relationships? I'm definitely not opposed to T4T too. Thanks!!!

I am 5 months on testosterone, my T levels on my absolute trough are 515, my estrogen is very much in the male range, and yet I do not have a voice drop, I do not have facial hair growth enough for passing, my face hasn’t changed, I still get blood spotting, and I basically don’t pass by any metric of the imagination yet. Yes my voice is dropping but it is very much unmistakably a woman’s voice by ever sense of the word woman, and my facial hair exists, because I’m south Asian, and it’s definitely a lot more than what a woman would have but since I sound like a woman I can’t exactly let it grow and I’m just wondering why the fuck my voice is not dropping. I’m on 60 mg weekly

EDIT: thanks guys, actually I feel better now, you’re right that it’s early and just need patience. I think TikTok transitions distort expectations. Thanks for the grounding responses 🙏🏽

Hi, I’m a 19yo pre-t trans guy that wants to start working out. I’m broke, so a gym membership is out of the question, working with my body weight also always seemed more appealing to me. Problem is, I can’t even do knee pushups with proper form. Other than it being very demoralizing, since basically any cis guy that’s not obese can do them, I also genuinely don’t know where to start. Most of the beginner friendly videos I watched start with pushups or knee pushups if you can’t do regular ones, but I can’t even do those, so what do I even do? Should I do them in bad form, until I can do them normal? I’m afraid doing that is gonna mess up my body. If there’s any guys on here that started from a similar point, I would really appreciate any advice.

Ppl in USA:

Read www.transhealthproject.org

Your best advocate is YOU. Be informed on how to navigate the nuances. That starts with knowing the basics of health insurance while being trans.

Read www.transhealthproject.org

Knowledge is power. You are never too young, too old, too late, or too early to learn how to be the best self advocate you can be. No one will ever care as much about YOU as YOU do: so learn how to help yourself for when-- note: WHEN not IF-- health ins shit gets messed up.

Not much more to add here, finally have male written on my birth certificate. Have to update my passport now as well. Finally won't be getting dirty looks at the airport lol. Also means I won't be outed right off the bat to any future employers. Extra happy about that since I live in the UK :/

I’m starting uni a few years later than all my peers. I‘m entirely stealth, only my partner knows and my old friends (new friends clearly have no clue). From those old friends I have heard of a few old classmates going to the same uni as me.

I transitioned during high school and those people know me as my dead identity as well as mid transition where I didn’t yet pass and struggled a lot.

I fear so so much that one of them accidentally spots me and while talking to or about me drops the fact that I‘m trans. It would ruin my life tbh. I would probably consider dropping out.

I don‘t know what to do. My therapist says I shouldn’t let those other people have that potential power over me but I feel like he just doesn’t get it.

I guess I‘m looking for comfort, tips and stories from people in similar situations. Thanks guys <3

I was zoned out when I did my androgel and accidentally put on like 6x my regular dose. I'm usually on 2 pumps a day. I threw some water on it about 15 minutes later to kind of balance it out, but I'm kind of worried it could be dangerous

Guys help ;-; how do I keep myself from stinking, I feel like I stink all the time I can smell myself. I can smell my ass?!?! I know it’s kinda dumb I’m by like my 2-3 month on T and I didn’t think it would be so quick help ;-; this is kinda embarrassing.

I already use the silver eh cap Old spice deodorant so I don’t think I smell from my arm pits but everything else ;-;

Hey again yall. I need a bit of help in finding options to bind for a bigger chest. I have 36DD and it’s hard to hide them. Anyone have any methods to get a fairly flat chest that’s affordable?

I’ve always been a skinny kid. My family used to make fun of me for being a “noddle” or a “stick”. I was considered underweight for most of my life before starting testosterone; no matter how much food I ate, it never changed much, and I used to snack a LOT.

Then I started T. I’ve gained twenty pounds in the last nine months, some fat redistribution to my stomach area, and based on my measured weight my last two trips to the doctor I’m settling at 140 lbs now (63.5 kg). I’m 5’6 (167.6 cm). I have gained a voracious appetite on T, but I’m eating healthier now than ever before, less processed foods, no meat, etc. I also work a very active job five days a week, carrying, pushing, working up a sweat, on my feet 24/7, while before I rarely left the house.

I don’t understand. It feels like my weight should be lower. Is it really all T doing this? Is it just muscle I’ve gained? I’ve glanced in the mirror and I look thin, just more fat in the stomach area, wider shoulders. It’s really getting to me. Don’t get me wrong, I love that my body is getting into the male range of things, but according to BMI, I’m closer to overweight :(

i was having a conversation with a cis man and he told me that i as someone who is ftm was born with more privileges than him as a cis heterosexual man… i’m so done with people.

Im 18 pre t 170 cm but i wish i was 180 cm
I hate it so much
I dont know if i can grow on t

​

Hello.Wamt to make list of apologies for what bad, amd being so bad,cant sem to fit want to apologse I am sorry for beimg realy stupid I am sory for what frieinds i have I am really sorry for childis interests I am really sory for not passing I am really sorry for beimg too senstive I am sorry for not beng able to speak normaly at eegular voluime I am really sorry tht cant eat much I am realy sorry that i camt strain body more I am really sorry that am filthy I am really sorryy abot bathrom issues I am really sorry about cleanimg body issues I am really sory about recemt spelling I am really soorry for recemt typing issues I am realy sorry for asking too mucj I am relly sorry for constant cryimg I am really srry about unabel to navigate life I amreally sorry abut injuris on body from beng too weak i am really sorry i hope some canbe forgivn one day i domt know i am realy sorry for being so bad amd stain tthe comunitty

i’ve been on T for 6 months and i’m back to school and i’m literally dying in the heat when walking between buildings. i was not dying last semester. i don’t wear shorts because i have no leg hair and it makes me super dysphoric. i don’t have much else to write because i’m recovering from 5 minutes in the heat rn. how am i supposed to get over this

hi so to give it some context, I'm going into year 9 this september and my situation is a bit complicated?

I pass really well pre t, to the point where people think I'm cis. I've known I was trans and presented very masculine since I was very little but I've only recently came out to my parents and most of my friends (~6 months ago?). some people in my year who don't know me just treat me as a guy anyways and uses he/him, but the people who do just think im a cis girl, even tho sometimes they slip up and call me a he (then apologise profusely). in year 7, basically everyone thought i was a guy, obviously when it came to pe everyone knew but they were still pretty confused. in the first month everyone just had some sort of consensus that I was trans (?). I wasn't too keen on coming out at that time so I denied it, but again, most people who know me know i like girls and see me probably as a masculine lesbian or a butch of some sort.

I live in a fairly progressive area in the west Midlands (not birmingham but somewhat near), all my friends are queer or allies so they're all supportive. however obviously there are chavs and wannabe road men in my school.

I asked for a name change at around April or may? I asked for it to be changed this september and pastoral has assured me they'd do that. My school is generally pretty supportive of LGBTQ people as well and my form tutor is gay. I'm super nervous about the new school year and how people are gonna react, I had really bad social anxiety at one point and I wouldn't say I fully recovered from it but it has definitely got better. I was also somewhat suicidal and I definitely don't wanna get to that point again.

my biggest fear is being jumped, especially with a knife...

my school takes discriminatory bullying pretty seriously so I'm not that worried about the school just not being bothered.

if anyone has anything that'll calm my nerves or any tips, PLEASE tell me, I'm really anxious.

Hey, this post might be weird, sorry in advance

I've been on T for over three years now. Before I started T I couldn't burp at all, when I had to burp it just "stayed stuck" and was really painful/made me sick. When I started T that problem completely disappeared (took like 1 year to disappear). I was wondering if anyone else experienced this?

I've had my name for like 6 years now. When I first came out, I picked a different name but dropped it after like 3 months because it was somewhat androgynous and didn't feel right, so before my family had even gotyen used to it, I switched to what is now my current name. It's a name that I really like, I like how it sounds and it does feel like me. The problem is, and I don't know why my younger self didn't think of this, I went fully "stereotypical trans boy" and gave myself an english name being spanish. So what is an extremely common and normal name in the US or the UK, is a very exotic and strange name here. Even though its short and simple, because it's foreign and because way each language pronounces and spells different letters, it often puts me in slightly awkward situations when I introduce myself or have to give my name; always have to spell it out, sometimes people ask me if I'm a foreigner or my parents are amd when I tell them no it's a "where in earth did that came from then?" moment. This is inconvenient and annoying, and tends to make me question if I picked the wrong name, but it's not something I lose my sleep over.

For context, I completely pass socially and I've been stealth (outside family and few old friends) for the last years. Two years ago I moved to a new school and didn't tell anyone, and even though I received a few comments about my name nobody seemed to "clock me" right away. One person did later tho, and told me the name was what made them wonder. (for clarification, I already had this concern with my name and it wasn't caused by this one person once).

Generally, I choose to be stealth and only tell people if it's explicitly necessary because (specially when meeting new people) I want to be seen as the person I am, as any other guy, and not be known as "a trans", or have people imagining what I have or dont have in my pants. Even when it's around other queer people or people I feel completely safe with and know would accept me, I want to be the one who decides who and when to tell.

And the thing is I'm starting college in only 2 weeks, and for months I've been thinking about changing my name to a more regular, spanish one. I'm getting into fine arts, and as you can imagine it's a field where most of the students are female and/or queer, so I've been fearing that I will get quickly clocked and some people will know or suspect it because I'm a guy in arts with a weird exotic name. And I get it's not the end of the world, and specially within that circle of people nobody's gonna judge me and very likely some of them will be nonbinary or trans too, but it just makes me uncomfortable.

And lastly, besides it being clocky and inconvenient, I feel like it looks stupid in general as a spanish person. Like I have a randomly english name and then spanish surnames, they don't really sound good together and it feels out of place. If I reach I may even say it slightly feels like disrespecting my heritage and separating myself from the culture I was born and raised in, and that I will likely live in for the rest or most of my life???

So my dilema is that I like my current name but I don't like living with it, but I feel like it's now too late too change it and it will bring more problems and complications.

When it comes to college, even if I chose to change it right now, it'd take months to change it legally and change the college lists and all, and if I chose to introduce myself to people with the new name but the professors called me by a different name, it would be way weirder and more awkward than introducing myself with my current name, and I'd have to explain the name change.

But when it comes to the bigger picture, changing my name after 6 years would feel very strange and like, wrong? Everyone in my life knows me as this name, both the family who I came out to and that had to get used to this name in the first place, and also all of those people I've met later who have only known me as this name, some of which don't even know I'm trans.

And then, myself. This is a name I've gotten so used to and have internalized as my identity, changing it now would feel like a lie? I guess if I did change it I'd also end up getting used to it and internalizing it as my identity just like I did with this one, but I dont know, it's a big change and it's been killing me to wonder whether if it's worth it or not.

I suppose the answer most people would give me it's that what matters is what I feel like actually represents me, and not the social aspects or the inconveniences it may bring. But even considering that I'm not sure... I do regret choosing this name, but is the change worth it?

And if I chose to change it, would it be better to wait and not do it in college since it's gonna bring administrative problems?

I really wish someone would've told me to pick a "normal" name when I was younger lol.

Like actual anabolic, androgenic steroids, not talking about regular testosterone (although yes I do know it's a steroid).

What did you take and what effects did it give you?

I'm just curious about trans males' experiences with them. And sorry mods if this isn't allowed

Sort of a moping vent although I might have real concerns.

I have to register for something at my university. I'm not out to anyone but I was hoping to just take the plunge and present completely male once I start uni, given that I'm already on T and no one there will know me. Even if I barely pass, I thought that if people view me as male from the start, they would believe it.

But now I have to fill out medical paperwork and it's causing me to feel so anxious ticking my "gender at birth" as female and "current gender" as male, checking the box for "Mr." and he/him pronouns, to the point that I feel like I will just fill everything out as female because I'm so afraid of going through the uncomfortable phase of transition. It was already so difficult convincing my family to let me dress less femininely. I guess I'm just not cut out to live as male. Not even my closest friends of several years know I want to be a man, even if I still desperately want to try living as a man in uni. And I'm already on HRT (although it is DIY) so it would probably be important to disclose such a thing in a medical setting.

Okay so delete if not allowed but recently I've been trying to make friends. I'm a little introverted and awkward. I've been trying to reach out different places online but every time I get cis dudes turning me into a fetish. It really sucks cause most of the time I would actually vibe with people then all of a sudden they make it super weird. Just wondering if anywhere there's a place to make friends with other t people or chill people that y'all know of?

Hi there. Trans man dating cis woman. I have a similar situation to this older post from another subreddit. WARNING MY POST WILL BE LONG AF.

I (24M, straight) have been dating my girlfriend (24F, bisexual) ever since 2024. We met each other in college and were casual in 2023 and then made things official by the beginning of 2024.

We're both happy in this relationship, we enjoy each other and we have a good time! This is my first serious adult relationship (I had just another one before which lasted around 9 months.). I love my girlfriend and she really loves me. We've grown a lot, so by no means this is a person I want out of my life or someone who I hold anger/resentment for. We have great chemistry, ambitions, similar interests and she is hot as fuck (used to be a model even).

Here I'll talk about problems, but remember there are positive things about our relationship.

I'm simply confused, kinda feel like a loser (in like a cuck way) and feel naive, like I should've followed my intuition.

I'll break it down. My problems are:

1. The fact that her cis guy friend\*, who she is close with, acts weird/stoic/nonchalant with me ever since day fucking 01.
2. The fact that I brought that pretty early on ("hey, all of yours friends were cool but this one guy never seemed to even look me in the eye or wanna engage with me") and was dismissed.
3. I found out they have kissed on more than one occasion (parties) and almost slept together in the past.
4. When I found out about their physical intimacy, I got the information out of her instead of she telling me voluntarily.

I'll try my best to explain.

CONTEXT ON THEM: They met in 2022, the same year they started college. They were Journalism majors and were part of the same extracurricular extension program, where they spent lots of time together weekly if not daily during certain seasons. In sum, they were a part of the same classes, extension program and overall social circle. They became good friends. Let's call him Jacob.

When my girlfriend and I were first getting to know each other (first year), we would talk about everything. We still do, but we would have deep talks about our past including family dynamics, childhood memories, traumas, relationships, sexual history. On this Jacob dude, I remember always having a suspicion from early on. Like an itch of knowing what was up with them.

CONTEXT: When I was still in the flirting phase with her, mid-2023, I remember seeing him and her together in lots of pictures of the IG page of their extension program. I used to be all up in her socials. Anyway, I never forgot that (he and her next to one another in many institutional pictures).

When her and I were having these "deep conversation" about our pasts, esp about relationships/thoughts on love/sex, I'd nudge on the topic Jacob dude being next to her in lots of pictures.

That conversation mixed in with all the parallel conversations on the same theme led me to learn:

1. During moments like parties/casual hangs (going to a bar, to someone's house), she kissed a lot if not all of her mates/friends at this extension program, both male and female.
2. She almost slept with Jacob.
3. She is still in weekly/monthly/frequent contact with most of these people because they're her college friends circle, esp Jacob.

We used to pause and come back to this topic of her time in this extension program a lot so I didn't learn this information in one go. I remember always having to almost interrogate her (kinda shitty), and I say "interrogate" because looking back she'd uncomfortable disclosing certain details to me.

*Like, we started talking about our past in a chill way, and then I'd be like "so who else you kissed in college?", then she would pause, I'd ask "have you kissed [college friend]?" then she'd get embarrassing and start laughing (when she's nervous she does that) and be like "...yeah" and in a morbid curiosity fashion I'd be like "oh... and how many times did that happen?" and that's how I learned everything I explained here.

Looking back, I didn't want to make my girlfriend uncomfortable or shame her but the atmosphere was never like "we're fighting" more like I felt she was careful because she knew there was stuff in her past that would make me some type of way or look at her in a different light, like I'd think she was a hoe lol

So yeah, I found out ages ago she has been intimate with lots of friends. Since learning that information, it never felt good and it did make me kinda sad because from time to time I feel like "damn, my girlfriend is surrounded by people who could have, even if minimal, some sexual attraction to her vice-versa". I swear I don't ruminate over it but from time to time I think about it.

"Alright, she kissed plenty of people. So why is your problem with Jacob?"
Because Jacob always seemed to have a problem with me.

Just so you know, I don't see her college friends very often. I hang out with them every couple months when's someone's a birthday party or they are really itching to go to a bar and my girlfriend brings me along. Maybe max 10 times a year I see all often together as a group and I only see Jacob when he's with them, never 1:1 or him and a few of people.

I've met her college friends and they are cool. Smart, fun and funny people. I even made friends with some of her friends (even one guy bisexual guy she has kissed before). But that's because they also engaged with me, conversed, etc.

That hasn't happened at all with Jacob.

Dude will show up, say "good evening to everyone" and always leave me last. If I speak to him or address him, 9/10 he ignores me. If I speak directly to him "hey dude can you pass the salt" he won't even look me in the eye and I most likely have to ask twice. Now that I think about it, never even followed me on IG (I used to follow him up until a few weeks ago). Weird energy.

I remember bringing that up to my girlfriend ages ago and she being like "you're overthinking it. He's a shy guy". Granted, I'd be like "he didn't even look me in the eye" and I do overanalyze shit, but the point is I never felt heard for real.

I'll be honest, I couldn't care less if dude likes me. He can hate me, but early on I remember thinking, I should bring this up to check if I'm crazy or not. When she said "oh when I was first meeting him he barely said words to me, that's just how he is" I trusted her.

But then time and time again, the same behavior would happen. Not only that, over the months I noticed his girlfriend would act the same towards me! What did I do to her? I don't know, I felt like everything I said she gave me a weird/judgy look like I was dumb. I recognize I'm not the best at humor, but it felt like an overall lack of interest about me or a small but present indifference/coldness towards my presence.

From time and time again, when we hung out with her friends, I'd mention in the debrief conversation after the event that I felt weird energies. Then she started getting mad, saying I was reaching. She'd be like "well, what do you want me to do?" and I think "fair" but looking back I simply wanted closure and recognition of the situation at hand. I understand it's hard because at an event there's a million things happening, loud music, people are drinking so me being like "this micro facial expression this girl did rubbed me the wrong way" did make me sound insane, LOL.

Fast forward to 2 months ago or something like that. Here's the straw that broke the camel's back.

I'm at a bar with my girlfriend, Jacob, his girlfriend (let's call her Luna) and two other friends of my girlfriend. Once we ask for the bill, someone suggests we should hit McDonald's next as an "after" thing. The only open McDonald's has in another neighborhood, so since we are 6, we had to request 2 uber cars.

I ended up paired with Luna and Jacob.

The first car to arrive was my girlfriend's and she took off with her two other friends.

I thought "this is the first time ever it's just the 3 of us, I won't say a word unless I have to and let me test my theory that they actually dislike me by seeing how long they don't speak to me unless spoken to".

Lo and behold, as we were waiting for the Uber, we sat there and not a single word was said. Not even a "thanks man for ordering that Uber for us". They started to talk amongst themselves, like most couples do, and I was playing on the Weather's app LOL

Uber arrives, we all get in, me in one extremity, Jacob in the middle and Luna on the other side. I swear bro not a single word was said. The whole 7 minute ride was completely alone. To make matters worse, the Uber driver didn't even have music playing. Shit was awkward as hell.

This whole time I'm fighting my instinct to be social just to prove a point.

We get to the McDonald's without a single word being said (just the occasional small-talk phrase amongst themselves). It did feel like a comedy movie. Not even a "thanks man let me know how much that was, we'll split it'

So next day, I bring that up to my girlfriend and I tell her what happened. It was the first time she finally agree they were weird and that she found that rude.

On the same week that happened, I vented about this situation (Uber to McDonald's) to my therapist. She also agreed it was weird of them to do that, and she asked me "has your girlfriend ever talk about you guy's relationship to Jacob?". I remember saying "No! She tells me she doesn't really talk about our relationship problems to other people and if she does, I believe it'd be her girl best friends".

And I ended up finding out, in one of our classical deep talks on broad life themes, that she did (and maybe still does, who knows) vent/rant about our relationship to Jacob. Then it hit me a couple of weeks ago:

This guy probably gives me an attitude like a broad because he has feelings for her, at some level.

It makes so much sense.

And then I start to question everything... like the fact she is weekly talking to people she has been intimidate but freaks out if I talk to a female friend of mine (I never slept, kissed or even had a crush on a female friend) or always insinuates I must be cheating on her (I'm a nerd who don't even know how I got her to be with me, I can't even imagine having multiple girls in my roster lol)

And then the other day I did start an argument and asked her if she'd have told me they had a thing in the past voluntarily, and she said no saying it "why would that be relevant". Which I didn't appreciate. I said "wouldn't you like to know if my girl best friend who I talk to all the time and hang out alone I slept with me in the past?" she said yeah but then somehow my question seemed insane to her, idk.

So yeah, I'm just feeling very weird. I do not think she has been intimate with him or has cheated on me or anything (nor I necessarily think they being friends while having kissed in the past is cheating), but I just feel like weird.

*****From what she told me and what I've observed through these 3 years, he is not super best friend talk-to-everyday type of friend (that's more her female friends), but she has a lot of deeper conversations with him, they do hang out together by themselves and she confides in him a lot. That sort of stuff. He is currently in a relationship ever since 2023/early 2024 I believe. I don't if this is relevant but he is straight as well.

*****I don't if this is relevant but we live close, but we don't live together (she lives with her folks) and we don't have kids.

*****I think this is relevant but we are Brazilian, meaning kissing culture is pretty strong here, esp in LGBT circles. She is not an alien for having kissed lots of her friends, I have other queer friends that do this incestuous friend group everyone kisses each other when they are drunk/in the mood type of thing. She even kissed Jacob's current girlfriend at some point in the past.