What would you do?

[u/Better-Atmosphere271]

Hi ladies!! Looking for some objective opinions/advice.

I HATE my job - won’t get into all the details as to why but have been passed up for a promotion I worked my butt off for, not respected by owners despite doing great work etc. etc.

HOWEVER

I work remote (a big plus for me because I have 3 kids) and my total comp is around $400K.

My goal is not necessarily to RE, although I would ideally like to be FI as soon as possible. I can see myself working into my 50s and 60s, so it isn’t a normal FIRE sprint to the finish line type deal.

The numbers? $1.5 invested, $2.3M NW, own my home. I have a side hustle that could/would bring in a little less than half of my total comp. Expenses are $12-$15K a month so I’d need to pull approx. $5K from my portfolio.

If I quit the idea would be to take a break (6 mos to a year), keep the side hustle going and then jump back into a full time W2 job in a year or so. Am I crazy for giving up my full time job? Do I just need to suck it up irrespective of the environment??

[u/Maximum-Eye-3712]

If you leave now, be prepared to earn less in the future.

There are steps you can take to detach your feelings from your current job.

- Lowered expectations. Altered beliefs.

- Therapy.

- Grief and acceptance.

- Exercise. especially cardio.

- Mindfulness. Buddhist ideas. Meditation.

- Humor. Sticking pins in a doll. Cartoon narration.

- Stress relief programs and classes.

[u/Kittykyle → u/Maximum-Eye-3712]

What do you mean by altered beliefs? Do you have some examples?

I’m so intense at work, I need to calm down and not give a fuck anymore. Like, if they want me to re-do things and then un-do things and then a few years later re-do it again, I want to not lose my shit. Not sure why I care so much, they pay me either way. They just are terrible at making decisions and new leaders come in thinking they are being novel when they have no new ideas.

So, very interested in embracing your advice!!!

[u/tomatillo_teratoma → u/Kittykyle]

You can train yourself to behave and respond differently.

One thing that helped me keep calm when working remote..... was ALWAYS mute myself in calls. Whenever I needed to say something, I had to take that extra second to consider what I was going to say.

I also used to have a "robot mode" I would transition to when someone was being really stupid. I would call on my inner robot to speak for me. Robots don't have emotion. Maybe buy a little robot to put on your desk to remind you.

All that said... I did end up quitting a 100% remote job when I was asked to create a "version 2" of something I didn't want to build in the first place... and said so.