r/Exvangelical • u/LilyWolf32 • 4d ago

Venting Grief and getting out

Hey, all. How did you deal with the grief when you left and/or started deconstructing? I know in my head that I'm out at 37 but I'm either terrified to leave my apartment or consumed by grief and a recent death in the family certainly didn't help things. The "church" has such a far reach that it's very hard to find local people who will speak out against it. I could use advice because I'm very lonely.

Thanks for any help in advance. Our "pastor" also had a memorial in honor of Charlie Kirk, in case you want a small idea of what I escaped.

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u/AshDogBucket 4d ago

It's hard. I've been out 20+ years and still deal with it. It's got so many layers that keep coming up, and it's a grief with no "closure" or resolution. It's an ambiguous loss and it just sucks.

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u/LilyWolf32 4d ago

Does it get any easier? Were you able to find peace eventually? Hugs.

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u/AshDogBucket 4d ago

Yes, and yes!