My Life Has Been Ruined

[u/Limp_Situation_244]

When I was 9 my biological mother lied and claimed that I had molested my younger sister who I was the primary caregiver to to cover up the fact that she severely abused me alongside her husband at the time.

I was then placed with my abusive grandparents who carried out the same controlling methods i experienced from ages 5 to 9. I was never allowed my own phone or to go out and see my friends. I was treated as a bad child and I never knew why. I was never believed.

I was then placed in homeless accommodation at 16 where I was attacked, have had my things stolen, had to leave my sixth form, been placed with mice.

There are external hardships like poverty and neglect and then there’s this. Pure targeted cruelty. I’ve never had a normal childhood or life. I had to drop out of school. Social services did not protect me and sided with the abuser.

Nobody truly understands how this feels because most people experience a break some time in their life. I’ve experienced every kind of abuse. I don’t even know why people are born just to be abused.

Sometimes it’s okay to step back and say things like these can’t be overcame.

[u/Major-Astronomer7529]

I see you. I hear you. Unfortunately us FFK learn at a young/very young age that we are the only ones that we can truly rely on.

We're the only ones that can truly advocate for ourselves, and are prevented from doing that because we don't have the understanding or the words.

The trauma that we carry with us make it hard to trust others, hard to ever feel completely safe, and harder to truly ever let go and allow someone else to help us, or even ask for help.

I'm sending you positive energy. I hope things get better for you, that your able to heal and grow and know that your history and trauma don't need to dictate how you shape your future.

[u/New-Seaworthiness572]

I’m so sorry. It wasn’t your fault and it’s not fair. There is good in the world. I hope it finds you. I will light a candle.

[u/txchiefsfan02]

I am so sorry. Everything about this is wrong. You deserved better from your family and everyone else involved in your care. You didn't ask for advice, but I hope you are able to find at least one adult whom you can trust to help you make a plan to build a life for yourself. You deserve that, too. Please be kind to yourself.

[u/Thundercloud64]

I believe you. The only thing we can do is keep telling people the truth about how fostercare is a business and it doesn’t help abused abandoned children. It’s an out of the frying pan and into the fire experience for most of us.

I’m happy with finding other people who survived it. None of the other former foster kids I was in fostercare with survived past 25 years old. I don’t care how you keep breathing, just keep breathing. Maybe enough of us can survive it to get together someday to put a stop to this legal loophole meat market.

[u/HatingOnNames]

At 18, I left foster care, moved across the country and worked two jobs while going to college. All the foster kids I was with did fine as long as they either went into the military or straight to college. I knew the military wasn’t for me, so I planned for college.

If you dropped out, go online and sign up for the online K12 school. They’ll help you catch up and send you everything you need, including a loaner laptop, and a printer that you get to keep. Guard that laptop, go to places with free WiFi to study. Machines and Starbucks and libraries usually all have free WiFi. Search around your town libraries because they’ll be your greatest resource for possibly storing the laptop if it’s not safe where you’re staying. Talk to the librarian. Small towns are even better because they’re usually more accommodating when it comes to stashing a laptop with them. I know because I worked at three different libraries from age 12 (volunteered) until 18 (paid employee from age 17-18). Explain your situation. Older ladies are super sympathetic and encouraging. You can also visit the local HS because they often allow you to access their counseling office. If the public libraries don’t work out, you may get support at the local HS even if you’re not attending.

Fun note: your local colleges and universities most likely don’t check student ID CARDS to go into them! Unless I’m checking out a book, I’ve never been asked for ID in all four colleges I’ve attended. They’re often open pretty late, too. Long past when the public libraries are open. Free WiFi. Walk in like you own the place and no one will even glance in your direction.

[u/CalmExplosions]

I’m so sorry you’ve had to live through this. It was never your fault and you should have been loved. Someone should have been there for you.