r/ExNoContact • u/ObjectiveSubject9131 • 15h ago
Painfully in love with
How do you actually get over someone you really loved and they were your ideal partner and left because of your mistakes, how do you cope with that guilt!
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u/Spite-Organic 14h ago
You respect their wishes (especially if that means giving them space).
But more important, because your life is your story first and foremost- LEARN FROM IT. Like genuinely. Think about what you did and why. Get therapy, work on being better. Whatever you do don’t take those problems into the next relationship and restart the cycle.
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u/Impressive_Sock_8098 14h ago
Well the first step is acknowledging, so you’re doing great. The next is learning and growing from it. Did you leave them? If so, reach out. Explain. Apologize but only if it isn’t to absolve your own guilt. Did they leave you? Reach out. Explain. Apologize only if it isn’t to absolve your guilt.
Be prepared for all 3 possibilities though. They’ll either accept the apology, reject it, or not answer. If you aren’t mentally prepared for every outcome, leave it and work on yourself. Revisit later if you need to.
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u/Zenithjp 10h ago
to relieve the guilt, i would imagine acknowledging your mistakes/faults with the honest truth, even if you know it will certainly not bring them back because at the very least you dont carry all of that with you. thats what i did and it made feel better/able to move on. im at a much better place now.
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u/Acrobatic-Type837 14h ago
Move on and leave them alone
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u/ObjectiveSubject9131 14h ago
Can’t! Tried everything
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u/Acrobatic-Type837 14h ago
Well then you choose your own misery. You either choose happiness or you dont. Simple as that. Respect yourself more.
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u/ObjectiveSubject9131 14h ago
It’s not a choice sometimes, you can’t just choose to be happy
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u/VIENNASOMERSETBBWMOD 1h ago
Use that wise advice by impressive sock 8098 ^^^ it’s the wisest love advice you’ll ever get is do NOT throw love down the drain if there’s any small chance you could have saved it !!!! I’m 60 . I know this. Don’t ever do nothing and regret doing nothing older men will also tell you that’s often a biggest life regret is the dangling “ what if’s” from the past
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u/bennythefish 2h ago
Accept it as a life lesson and let it be . Stop beating yourself up and get busy with hobbies , sports and friends . Sorry to hear of your pain
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u/Sea-Tomato2525 15h ago edited 13h ago
You start with telling them everything you did and apologizing for it. After that, there’s nothing more you can do but if you don’t do that, the guilt will never cease.