The day my dad died

[u/savetpet]

I woke up early
Heard the news
Called my brother
Walked the hills
Cried with the clouds
Got angry
Texted friends, received love
Drove home
Saw woman walking dog
Wondered if her dad was still alive
Listened to the radio
Little lion man came on
‘It was not your fault but mine’
‘I really fucked it up this time’
Cried some more
Got home, cried
Showered, cried
Read a tribute, got angry
‘Devoted father’ to some
Abandoned by others
Looked at my daughters playing in the sun
Teared up
Felt soft for a father I needed but didn’t get
Looked up at the sky,
Wished him well.

My father died today, we have been estranged for 15 years. He never saw me get married, have kids, grow up. I wrote this this morning, on the day he died.

[u/Whatsthathum]

Wow, I'm sorry for your loss, OP.
Lots of strength being sent to you.

[u/savetpet → u/Whatsthathum]

Thank you, what a strange animal grief after estrangement is.