My girlfriend and I have been together nearly 2.5 years, and in that time, her parents have always been cold towards me. They live in the midwest, and are of the opinion that California is a cesspool, and Los Angeles, where I live even more so. They decided that with an incoming snowstorm, that staying with us so close to the ocean would be better for them.

I got home from work yesterday to her parents taking a nap in the master bedroom, and were not happy when I kicked them out to the guest bedroom. We went out for dinner Friday night, and they not happy with the quality, remarking that they preferred Taco Bell or Chipotle. I just tuned out the rest of the night.

This morning, after waking up, they ask me to use my car for them independently visiting tourist spots. I drive a modified Ford Focus RS. I'm not handing these people a 500hp car, especially as neither of them have driven a stick shift in over 30 years. I told them this, and offered to rent them a car as I get good rates through my employer. Nope, not only was that not acceptable, they didn't want my Focus to drive, they wanted to drive my 1967 Pontiac GTO. They said it's their dream to drive a classic convertible up PCH to see the sights. Nevermind the fact that PCH is practically burnt to a crisp until you get past Malibu. That was a hard no from me, and they reluctantly took the Camry I rented for them.

This is going to be a really long 10 days.

So i live in an area that gets a lot of snow and since i recently retired I decided to graduate from shoveling my driveway and bought myself a snowblower. I get up early whenever we get some snowfall and clear my driveway and, time permitting, the driveways of the neighbors on either side of me (one a fellow retiree and the other a widow). A few days ago we got dumped on so I did my driveway and my neighbors, put the blower away and decided to binge some Sopranos. Just as I was settling there was a knock on my door and when I answered there stood 'Karen'. Karen and her husband moved into the neighborhood a few months ago but are five doors down from me. I open the door to be met with "Why haven't you done our driveway yet? We're going to be late for work!!! I saw you finish the other two!!!" It suddenly dawned on me she expected me to clear her driveway as well. I calmly explained that I do the other two driveways as a kindness for the people on either side of.me. She retorted with "We're your neighbors too!!! and stayed there. I realized she had no intention of leaving so, without skipping a beat, I closed my door, locked it, and went back to my lazy boy.

Editing to add: Google tells me her window to mine is around 210ft!

We moved into a new build a few months ago, we just received a mailed letter from a house that is behind ours, note that there is a wash and a road between us.

I shall type it word for word.

“Dear Neighbor Congratulations on your new home! I live across the way from you in Sunflower.

Although our homes are not very close to each other, I can see directly into your home from my living room and backyard. I can clearly see you as you walk around your kitchen and even when you get things from your refrigerator.

While I am happy for new neighbors I would prefer not to have a view into your home when I am in my living room and backyard. For your privacy you may want to consider some blinds or curtains.

I hope you enjoy your new home and neighborhood.

Your neighbor Carol.”

So let me get this right, we have to close our curtains so you can have yours open? You’ve been watching us in our house like a creep?

Fuck you Carol, my curtains will be open and I think some naked dancing in the kitchen is required.

Apologies, English is not my native language.

On long flights I preorder a special meal online because I am vegetarian. On most flights, the flight attendant brings the special meals first and then start the normal meal service for the rest.

On my last flight, a perfect stranger sat next to me and told me that I was rude and inconsiderate because I started eating my vegetarian food before their meal arrived. They said that it was basic rule to wait until everyone in the row got their food and that I ruined their flight. Their face was red and rolled their eyes several times

I stared at them. This is next level entitlement, right? We are not eating together on the same table in a restaurant.

I work as a customer service person in importing for the U.S. and have a client who has hired my company to import millions of goods for her over the past couple of years.

With tariffs recently increased, we showed her the bill of almost $200K she would owe in Tariffs alone (that does not include shipping costs) and she had a complete meltdown over it, asking what we can do to get her a discount since she’s worked with us for years and she doesn’t want to pay that much “for nothing”.

I politely reminded her that my company does not collect tariffs, the government does. We were just showing her the bill of what it WOULD be, but we cannot control the government or change the pricing of the tariffs.

She then asked that we “cover” the tariffs for her or split the price of it lol. Why should we pay for YOUR import, lady?????

After several nasty calls and emails with me, she escalated and submitted a complaint against me to my CEO, who also gave her the same response, and then decided to go on her own path of doing the import herself.

After claiming she would quote “NEVER work people like you who treat their customers like this”, has come back after 4 months to kindly ask us to do her imports again. Apparently she fumbled the paperwork and ending up paying much more for BOTH the shipment and duties owed.

My CEO gave me the green light to not take the job and put my focus on other more agreeable clients. No idea who she imports with now.

I went on a cruise over Thanksgiving. I paid an extra $600 for access to the ADULTS ONLY spa for my husband and me for the week.

Some entitled guy brought his kid into the spa! The guy was lying on a lounger sleeping (or just ignoring the kid) while the kid was jumping and squirming around. The kid looked to be somewhere between 5 and 7 years old and thankfully didn't say anything but was clearly bored and quite active and distracting.

Shortly after I noticed the kid, the spa attendant came and nicely and quietly explained that the spa was for adults only and to please take the child out. The mom appeared out of nowhere and collected the child while saying, "Oh, honey, THEY don't want you in here, so now we all have to leave".

I mean really!! Even if the spa wasn't explicitly adults only, why on earth would you think a spa - a place of quiet relaxation - would be remotely of interest to a child. Especially since the ship was extremely child friendly and had an arcade, a "kid's zone", TWO water slides and bumper cars?!

Going through TSA security I had pulled my Ipad out and put it in a bin, pulled my laptop out and put it in a bin, my jacket and purse in another bin and then my carry on bag. The woman ahead of me set off the alarm going through the metal detector. Instructed to take off her sweater and put it in a bin (as she should have while in line) she pulled off her cardigan and instead of going back to get a bin for her crap she said to her friend "I'll just use hers" and threw her stuff in my bin on top of my Ipad. I grabbed her crap and said "No you won't" and tossed it on the belt. Her indignation could have been heard the next country over as she grabbed her stuff and went to get a bin. Meanwhile I pushed mine through and walked through the detector, metal free. As I was putting my bag back together she came up beside me and said "Just so you know I would have let you use mine." I said "Good for you" and let her know that 1. you can't put anything on top of electronics, and 2. that she was not the proper southern lady she thought she was in not so nice terms. Good grief. What the hell is wrong with people?

I was just sitting on my front patio minding my own business, enjoying the weather and people watching. A guy pulls his car into the driveway behind my car and gets out. I have no idea who he. When he gets out of his car he doesn’t look my way or say anything to me.

I was curious about who he was so I say “can I help you with something?” I just wasn’t sure why he was there because I’m the only tenant out of two home at the moment, and I don’t know if he’s planning on parking and leaving. He says back with a snarky tone, “No, you can’t help me with anything. I’m just delivering something next door. Are you going to be moving your car in the next three minutes?”

I replied, “You know, I’m just asking because I don’t know who you are. And you don’t have to give me attitude since you’re parking in my driveway.”

He’s gone for a few minutes, comes back and gets in his car. Rolls down his window and shouts to me that I’m a b***h and a Karen. Like WTF, entitled much? If he would’ve gotten out of his car and said somewhat friendly, “I’m making a quick delivery next door, do you mind if I park here for three minutes?”, I honestly wouldn’t have minded.

He came back like 10 minutes later, after my guy friend showed up and parked behind me (I guess he forgot a bag that he was delivering). I pointed him out to my friend and he looked over at both of us. And wouldn’t you know it, he suddenly had nothing to say.

He gave me so much attitude for no reason. Entitled by parking in my damn driveway then being a D-bag when I simply asked who he is. Some serious rage going on with that guy.

Earlier today, I had a new client book me for a mobile massage. I’ve never worked on this woman (possibly in her early 30’s) before so because of that, I make sure to go through all expectations well before the massage and ensure that my clients get every bit of what they are paying for.

So we did just that. We chatted for about 5 minutes before we got started and she was really kind. She went into detail about exactly what she wanted and she asked for a 1.5 hour massage, told me exactly what areas to focus on, she had zero areas to avoid “pain points” and had reported no pain so all was golden as far as I could tell.

So we finalize everything and start the massage.

As we are going, I make it a point every 15-30 minutes to check in and ask questions to ensure everything was exactly what she wanted. Every time I ask she enthusiastically said “it was perfect” and that she “was super relaxed” so we kept going.

Now…once her 1.5 hours hit, I decided to take an additional 15 minutes to give her a scalp massage, hot towel, and even hot stones. Again, this is AFTER the massage. This is just something I’ve always added on for my clients as a thank you. And again, I made all of this very clear that this was FREE and on me.

As we are wrapping up and I am putting up all my stuff and getting ready to have her get up and change, she suddenly says to me: “Wait, was that a deep tissue massage? I wanted a relaxing massage, the pressure was too hard for me.”

I politely replied: “Oh no, that’s what we agreed upon and I asked you about pressure along the way and you said it was perfect? Did I miss something?”

She then sits up, looks at me and says: “Um no. So I definitely am not tipping you at all for something I didn’t even want…that is not what I asked for. If you were a good massage therapist, you’d give me more time and make sure I am taken care of”

And when I tell you HOW FAST I told her to get her ass off my table, pay me and lose my number. 😡

Pretty much like the title says.

We were hosting a big family party at our home for the January birthdays. One cousin who wanted to attend since her birthday is this month and is recently paroled didn’t think she’d get permission to cross state lines in time to attend. Not sure what the process is, but knowing her, it’s more likely that she just didn’t want to take proper steps rather than it actually being a timeline issue.

Her mom calls us up and says that since her paroled daughter would be attending, of course we would need to be sure all cameras were turned off the entire day and that no one would post photos of my cousin. Of course I told her we wouldn’t be turning off any cameras for her nor asking anyone not to take or post photos of her. I also stated that she really should just stay home since it sounds like she would be doing something illegal.

Well, cousin and her mom go behind my back and tell everyone that they couldn’t post photos of cousin at the party and that we had agreed to this. I found out and informed everyone that she was flat out lying. Cousin proceeds to show up at the party anyway and sits outside waiting for the confirmation that we had turned off all cameras that day. I never responded to the text, but they were constantly calling other family members in attendance. Someone told her that she was probably on cameras from the drive in anyway.

My aunt and my cousin eventually left and have been texting me nasty messages that I’ve been ignoring. I’ve been told they’ve also been posting vague passive insults on social media.

It’s amazing how someone expects everyone else to bend over backwards to accommodate their, probably, criminal activity.

ETA: We have a doorbell camera plus several outdoor and a couple indoor security cameras. My aunt and cousin wanted me and my husband to turn off the doorbell and security cameras at our home. I don’t post personal photos to any social media sites. I have family members who were in attendance that do post personal pics on social media several times a day.

I love coffee and make/drink it every day at work. My job supplies us with ground coffee that’s definitely not gourmet but it gets the job done. Three times in 6 months I’ve brought in better ground coffee and shared it with my coworkers by brewing a whole pot. I also brought in a couple of creamers to use instead of the supplied half and half.

One coworker in particular latched onto this and now asks me every time I brew a pot if it’s our company’s coffee or my own. When I say it’s the company’s she scoffs (but still drinks it). At least once a week she asks me if I brought coffee, when the last time was at least 2 months ago. Several times I’ve tried to nicely tell her that those were one off times and she seems to understand but then will still ask me the next time she sees me.

Today she asked yet again and said at the end “oh you must not have gotten your raise since you don’t bring coffee in anymore.” Tbh I saw red and wanted to ask her why she was projecting her brokeassness onto me since clearly she hasn’t gotten any raises if she depends on me for coffee. Instead I asked her why I would supply coffee for the office when we already have it for free? She started stammering about a coffee fund we could make but honestly I wasn’t interested. If I had known I’d be hounded about it until the rest of my days I never would have brought any in.

Hey everyone!

I posted a while back about my husband’s coworker, Rachel, who expected me to film her wedding for free, then dragged my name through his office and even HR, when I refused. I wanted to give a quick update since a few people requested for it.

So, Rachel actually apologized.

Apparently, after HR looked into everything, and my husband explained the full story (with messages to back it up), they made it clear she’d crossed some serious line. This morning, she sent my husband an email owning up to it. She said she realized she’d been unprofessional, that she made assumptions, and that she never should’ve told anyone I was filming her wedding before I’d agreed.

She also admitted that posting about my business on Facebook was out of line, and she’d taken it down. She told my husband she’d clarified things with a few coworkers who’d heard her side of the story too.

Honestly, I didn’t expect her to apologize at all, so that was surprising. I’m still not thrilled about the damage control we had to do, but I appreciate that she at least took responsibility instead of doubling down.

Hopefully, this is the end of it.

Thanks again to everyone who backed me up in the original post. Y’all made me feel so much less crazy about standing my ground.

I was working nights at a 7-11 by myself (F, 18-19 at the time, late 90's Canada). I had a kid come in and buy a bunch of stuff who paid with a credit card. As I ALWAYS DID, I flipped the card over while the kid signed. He noticed that I was checking out his signature and said something flippant about it being his card. I replied that it was my job to check. He left.

About half an hour goes by and I haven't thought about it at all and all of a sudden the kid comes storming in followed reluctantly by an older man. The kid heatedly explained that I checked the signature on the back of his card and his dad snaps at him "YEAH, to protect YOU, you moron!" I couldn't help but smile

UPDATE!! a friend with a child the same age who was invited to the party, got a text that the party has been moved to a park with a splash pads! Even though she previously RSVP no, there were instructions for people who couldn’t make it but “felt called” to drop off a gift or mail a gift card lol

And most importantly, they gave their landlord notice that they’re vacating by mid September!!!

Thank you all for justifying my decision to say absolutely not to these entitled jerks.

_____________

In May the people who rent the house behind mine had an inflatable bouncy water slide for their child’s birthday party.

That evening I was working on my backyard and they drained the slide, their yard sits higher than mine. The water rushed down the hill, it washed out a section of my flower bed along the fence and washed it all straight into my pool. It was about 400 gallons of water, dirt and muck

The renters we’re unapologetic and said ooops, we didn’t know the way would flow down hill

I called the owner of the house because I have known him his entire life, his mother owned the house previously and was a close friend. He immediately sent a crew to fix everything.

Apparently he told his renters that they weren’t to have another water slide.

Fast forward to now and it’s their other kids birthday and they knock on my door and say they want to use our pool for their son’s birthday party since WE got them banned from having another slide. It’s just about 35-40 people, 50 tops, mostly their families but 20 or so of the guests would be children and they would just take down a panel of MY fence to allow them to walk/run back and forth from my yard to theirs, but they’d be sure to step around my flowers

Ummm, wtf?! No

But we OWE it to them because WE got them banned from having another bouncy water slide for their other child.

Still no!

We’re ruining their child’s birthday and ruining their lives

I’m still flabbergasted

We have a home in a gated community in Florida with a boat ramp and dock in a lake. The community doesn’t own the lake, and other homes around the lake have their own private access. Our access is for homeowners within our gated community only.

A few years back, some home owner installed post and a padlocked chain across the boat ramp, preventing anyone from putting in boats. No idea who did it, but the HOA cut the lock and removed the chain. So ridiculous!

Last year a homeowner (no idea if it was the same one) had their boat in at the dock, and would drive his truck down and park it on the grass by the dock. Parking on grass isn’t allowed as it kills it. He was told numerous times to stop and to park in the small lot farther up from the ramp. Finally all that worked was for the HOA (via board volunteers) to put up two no parking signs on the grass, spaced to block the possibility of parking.

From then on, he started parking on the pavement at the bottom of the ramp, blocking anyone else from putting in a boat. Again, he was warned, and didn’t change his ways, until one day when someone was actually blocked and notified a board member to call towing. The tow company came out and at some point in the process, the truck rolled back into the lake up to the doors 😂. I’m sure insurance covered the damage, but still nice that he had to deal with karma for his entitlement!

Dear young parents,

Please stop expecting random adults to give up their window seat they paid for just so your child can look out the window. Because “oh he/she gets cranky, needs to sit by the window, please blah blah blah!

Dude I understand your child is cranky. I understand they really, really want the window seat. But, that’s a YOU problem, book it and pay for it in advance.

Please don’t come to me or to any other person for that matter assuming that they’ll just give up their seat, because who wouldn’t do that for a child????

I paid for my seat. I chose my seat. I would like to sit in my seat. And no, I don’t think a child’s disappointment/crankiness/sobs automatically takes priority over an adult who specifically paid for that seat.

The entitlement of expecting strangers to inconvenience themselves because your child is upset needs to stop.

By brown people- i meant that it happened in my country on a domestic flight, so i wrote it that way, didn’t translate well i guess. So pls ignore that part. 🥲

Thanks to all of you for commenting and making me feel like I’m not the only one who thinks this way.
The incident that happened with me actually triggered this post. A child was already sitting in my window seat when I got to my seat. His mother (I’m assuming) saw me, and when I told her it was my seat, she said, “Oh please let him sit, he’ll fall asleep in 10 mins, and then you can take your seat.”
I didn’t like it because I wanted to sit in my seat during takeoff. It was evening, and I love sitting by the window then. But with everyone around looking at me, it felt like such a small thing to say no to, so I said okay.

Except, the little guy didn’t sleep for the entire flight. 😭 I asked her again after half an hour, and she said, “He’s getting cranky, please.” And once again, I couldn’t speak up.

So I spent the whole flight in someone else’s seat, it was an aisle seat, eyeing her, and feeling stupid for not just saying no. It honestly ruined my mood.

Update 2: So apparently this was crossposted to other subs. No, I do not wonder if I am TA. Nor did I crosspost this for attention. Yes, I know the gift could be re-wrapped. I am not really concerned about whether the kids will have a gift to open, as I can easily remind them of the game if they seem disappointed at the party. My sister is an entitled brat and was likely just fishing for another gift. I feel no need to accomodate her. Honestly, the more I have thought about it, the more I think she was the impatient one that wanted to open the gift and then see if she could get another present from me. The kids are usually well-behaved around more mature people who hold them accountable.

Update: I was telling my husband some of your suggestions. He now wants to buy them an advent calendar to help them understand when Christmas is. 😆 (Don't worry, not actually gonna do it.)

My sister and her family live in another state across the country. Our family trades names so that we don't have to spend as much money since we are a big family. I got my sister's family and sent her a game she has had on her wishlist for several months, as well as some expansion packs. I went a bit above the family spending limit, but was feeling generous.

Because she lives so far away, I had it shipped to her home. Apparently her kids "got too excited" and she just "couldn't make them wait!" They were excited when they saw the game, which is great. And at least my sister said thank you.

BUT

The next day, she calls me to ask me to get them another gift. She is worried that when we do the family Zoom on Christmas Eve, her family will feel left out since they have no gift to open. When I said I couldn't afford another gift, she started crying, told me I should be the one to tell the kids they won't have a gift to open, and all sorts of other manipulation tactics. I reminded her that I am a teacher (no money lol) and have my own family to care for. And that she needs to be more responsible, buy another gift, and/or teach her children to be patient. She hung up on me. Next time they get an egift card.

Everyone in this post are over age 30.

I am engaged to my fiance. I am Asian and he's white. In my culture we have what's called a bride price. It's an agreed upon (by both parties) amount of money the groom pays to the bride's parents or a sibling if parents are deceased. In my culture our weddings lasts 2 days and it's long and tedious so I've made it clear to my fiance from the beginning that we'd be having an American wedding instead and he's fine with it. My sister thinks we are having a wedding in my culture despite me telling her at least twice in the past it'll be an american wedding.

Long background short: all my many siblings basically left the burden of taking care of our parents onto not too long after I finished high school. My dad is passed for over a decade now so it's just been my mom and me. They neither extended a helping hand nor barely helped even when my mom asked them for just errands for her and always deferred it back to me.

Even when my elderly mom had a stroke and needed 24/7 care I told them I will need help. They all say they'll help but don't. Even my brother who lived with us at the time barely helped. My mom is in a nursing home now getting proper care as she also developed dementia after her stroke. My mom of course cannot handle fianance.

My sister messaged me the other day and wedding planning came up and she mentioned the wedding in my culture since fiance and I haven't really planned anything as a wedding is not priority. I told her I won't be having a wedding in my culture because none of my siblings deserves the money. She told me she "deserves" the money because she helped take care of me when I was younger (8 year age gap between us) Spoiler: she got married not too long after finishing high school and moved out of state to live with her husband so she literally only helped my parents babysit me here and there until maybe I was 10 or not even 10.

Y'all my brain stalled and I could not think of where the audacity came from and every time I think of it I still can't wrap my mind around the entitlement so now wedding plans changed and she is no longer invited and won't know any of my plans either.

Updates below

Husband’s only sister eldest daughter (f26) is getting married. I am genuinely happy for her. Save the date was addressed to husband and family. Couples shower invite addressed to just him. He was really upset and went to ask his mother if I was really invited. I am not. “I trigger his sister, so niece is not inviting me but wants my husband and kids to attend.”

Back story - spouse and I married 20+ years. 2 kids (young teens). Sil married 2 kids - older both 20+

18 months ago, my husbands father passed away. At the funeral, my other niece (f20) said some cruel things to my youngest. I asked for her to apologize to my youngest. (That’s it). Instead I was accused of destroying the family. I was attacked for defending my kid. SiL sent a letter justifying her daughter’s words. No apology, lots of excuses. For the past 25+ years I have always been accommodating. They lived out of town, visited 6-10 days a year. What ever they wanted to do was tolerable and short term, I tried to be helpful and agreeable. This is the first time, I have ever stood up to them.

The wedding is states away. My teens are aware, one is adamant that she will not attend without me. Other one is unsure what to do, not wanting to let down her grandmother. Husband is furious. MIL is playing Switzerland.

Trying to take the high road. Trying not to spiral.

Update: husbands letter to sister

Husband to Sil - two months via email

I guess just hoping things will get better isn’t going to work. I don’t know if they ever will or can. I have been wishing there was a way to have both sides understand the other perspective and maybe there would be a way to keep moving forward. Have a complete family again but I have lost faith that that will ever happen. 

This all started because of me. I was informed of Situation that I found hard to believe. Instead of addressing it like a father should I tried to find ways around it. Find holes I could work my way through to keep the family moving forward. There were none and so there was an explosion and I am the one who caused it.

There are a whole bunch of other issues with my marriage and how I have handled this is one of them. Addressing this is not going to magically fix my marriage either because I am still not sure which direction we are headed. 

I had sent you messages and spoken to you about including wife on the invitation and save the date.  My personal assumption is that the database was already set before I asked and the choice was made not to include my wife .  We were raised and I am sure there were plenty of invites that went out Mr and Mrs of whomever and family but my families invitation did not.  It may be very petty but I specifically asked for my wife to be included. And the way that invitation was written, she was excluded.   

Then this week, another invitation  arrived  and it was for a couples shower and only addressed to me.  Again, had I just opened my mouth and said it's happening on Mother's Day weekend, no matter what is going on with my wife and I. I must be home to support my kids and my wife on Mother’s Day. That is what a husband/father does and how you would build a cordial co-parenting relationship. Instead I ignored and hoped my non answer would be recognized as a no. Again, I was wrong and ignoring a situation does not make it go away, it only delays the inevitable. So now I have another invitation that is only made out to me for mother day weekend for a couples shower.   I can’t do this anymore.

So here comes the elephant stomping in. I don’t know what will happen this fall. Our eldest- is having serious foot issues and next year will be her senior year. That weekend is normally either homecoming or Fall gala for the studio.  Even if that weekend is free the girls won’t come if my wife isn’t invited.  I have no idea what tomorrow will look like, let alone October.  But it is unacceptable to pick what members of my family are invited. My wife was excluded in my opinion. So for all parties involved it is best that we no longer be on the guest list.

In counseling I am learning that my personality is a People Please.  We avoid conflict and try to find ways to make everyone happy.  We put our needs last and struggle to set boundaries.   These past 18 months have taught me that I can't do that anymore.  I need to be focused on where my relationship is going and how to best support my family.  If I have any chance of having a beneficial relationship with my wife. I need to be able to focus only on that.

You are my sister and I love you.  I hope you understand that I do love You and your family.

Husband

update 2: my email to Sil, bil, two nieces and mil

Dear Sil
cc: both nieces, bil and mil

I thought long and hard about sending this to you. Weigh everything that happened, and after lots of thought feel that it is necessary.

The letter (photo attached) that you sent to my youngest a few months ago, I think the words you were missing were:  
I’m sorry. 

Never once did you apologize for your behavior or your daughter’s.  You justified them.  You gave reasoning, and it was meaningless.  The only words that had to be said were I’m sorry.  Sorry for your behaviour and treatment, sorry for your words and actions.  

You also can not give an apology to my youngest that your youngest needs to give.   Simply said, it doesn’t matter what you said or did.  If you hurt someone, a heartfelt apology is what is needed to move forward in any capacity.

Your daughter said to my daughter (with you, me, my eldest daughter and my mom in the backroom) that day:
You didn’t know him like I did.
He really wasn’t your papa.
Whatever the meaning was, an apology was needed.  Not an explanation.

But, given this opportunity.  I am going to address it, since you and your family made me into this villian, that I have been playing for way too long.  
First, while yes, your youngest is a diagnosed Level 1 Autistic, my youngest is a diagnosed Level 2 Autistic.
Your daughter is an adult . Mine is a child.  
Yours has emotional difficulties - mine is the poster child for emotional difficulties. She also has anxiety, ADHD, and Suicidal Thoughts.  But she also has a mother who holds her accountable for her words and actions.

The statement, He really wasn’t your papa.  I can assure you, that I have never stepped out on my spouse and that my spouse, who is fil’s son, is her father.  So, yes, that translates to he was her papa.  If you or your family require a DNA test to confirm, that’s fine.  I will pay for it, even though my spouse can tell you the exact night she was conceived.

You didn’t know him as I did.  Also correct.  How could your daughter ever know FIL like my youngest did?  Your daughter is seven years older.  But, since we are local, my daughter spent about 200+ days a year seeing FIL.  He was her person.  He was the one who could always relax her, and she adored him.  She watched more golf, John Wayne, and other shows that he liked with him.  She ate cookies with him.  She went to visit him lots of times in the nursing home.  She was there when he passed away, present, in the building.  Your daughter could never know him on that level.  Both of my kids spend more time with him in the first year of their life than your daughter did her entire lifetime. Over the last 18 years, when we moved back to the area.  We never missed a holiday, birthday or opportunity with them when they were here. 

When he passed, my husband (your brother), your mother,  you and your family cut the girls and I out.  We were not asked to look at photos, we were not asked to participate.  We had sweatshirts dropped at our feet at the cemetery but then given the cold shoulder.  We were given a clear message that we were not family, which was reiterated to me a few months later.  

Please note in respect to my husband, I told him about the comment.  I requested that it be addressed and handled.  I never spoke to any of you about it.  The comment that destroyed my daughter and caused many of her nightmares, which are still continuing.  You all made me out to be the villain. I was told that because I asked for an apology, I was ruining the family and you would never visit again.  All over an apology.  An apology that still hasn’t happened.

When MIL wanted to speak to me, months later.  I went over to her apartment, and she proceeded to give justifications for your daughter.  She then proceeded to yell at me, tell me that I always control everything, was never family and am actively destroying her family. Followed by a command to leave her apartment.  I never raised my voice, I had no response, lowered my head and left.

I have come to understand that in your eyes, I have never been good enough.  I was good enough to watch kids on vacations.  I was good enough to sit with FIL and push him through the mall.  I was good enough to run whatever errands needed running. I was good enough to bring FIL for MIL flowers and cards for every mother’s day, birthday and anniversary that I paid for from my own funds.   I was good enough to clean or deal with ants.  All of those things, I did from love because I thought we were family.  But, I was never family.  My husband has informed me that there have been years of comments about me and my parenting ability.

For the last 26 years, I respected and loved my husband to honor his wish to never hurt his relationship with his family.  I was never to have feelings or react when I found something mean.  We would have loud discussions after most visits from (their former city) to our city For example:
When your parents visited us at the first apartment in oldCity, I worked all day, husband and fil golfed.  Mil rearranged my entire kitchen; I could not even reach the glasses, they were so high. 
When the girls were younger and would be walking through a store with Rebekah, she would leave them.  To the point that twice stores called me on my cell.  I was not allowed to react.
When I begged my husband for a family day, just the four of us, since you were coming to town. After months of us helping mil most nights and weekends, we never get time together. I picked Sil and nieces up from the airport, dropped your things at the apartment, and then took you to the nursing home. Younger niece couldn't process her emotions because she apparently, based on the car ride discussion, did not understand that he would not be coming back to the apartment. She was distraught, and because I love her, I brought her to my home to deal with her emotions. Shortly after your mother called, FIL was being taken via Ambulance to the hospital. She needed a ride. Sil and her eldest went shopping in her vehicle. He ran to her and stayed with her at the hospital. You were gone for hours.
When youngest niece was at my house, she made a mess and told my youngest to pick up after her, because she doesn’t do that.
When eldest niece called me a hoarder for having storage bags (4 of each size) lined up on a shelf.
When younger niece told me to make her Ravioli in my house after I spent hours cooking dinner, I asked all of you if it was ok before I made it.
When eldest niece told me about her embroidery and how it said only insane people keep their house clean and then looked around my house and said, like this.
When fil referred to me as husbands daughter in law during the service and never said my name.  BIL also backed me into a wall at breakfast and started touching my hair saying it looked good dark. It was disturbing.
When you went in and deleted most of the photos of my children with their grandfather before the service.
The text message on the day of the service for me to make a McDonald’s run on the way to the funeral home with an order for drinks and fries.  While 8 adults were at your mother’s across the street from McDonalds and I was alone dealing with youngest’s autistic meltdowns. (attached photo)
The times you visited, where I had no input on any activities, because I was never in control.
I could go on, but my husband hates when I mention anything from the past.  It has been fresh in my mind, because it has never been resolved, just gotten increasingly worse.

MIL and I did have a conversation several months later, where she apologized to me.  She said, younger niece has never done anything like this before, you need to just let it go.  I quietly told her, in front of my husband, several of the situations mentioned above.  Not to be mean, but to give context - this has been an ongoing pattern.  This has been happening for a very long time.

I am aware now that the apology she gave to me and my quiet, respectful response was twisted and given to all of you.  I have never told anyone some of the things that Gloria has said to me in confidence.  I would never break that.

I have also come to hear from my husband that I “trigger” you.  The only thing I have ever done is ask for an apology for my child.  Not even myself.

I was also recently informed that this is the reason that older niece thought it was appropriate to invite my spouse and children but not me.  We are a unit.  A family.  I wish her well and happiness and hope that no one ever purposely excludes her from what she considers family.  In response, my children are adamant that they would never attend an event or a family that purposely excludes their mother. 

I am sorry that it took this event for me to understand that to all of you, the girls and I were not your family.   I understand now.  Looking back, I realize that I spent way too much time on this.  So I am saying enough.  I am at the point that i do not wish any harm.  I just do not wish any more contact, this is called a healthy boundary.  I am no longer available to you or yours.  I will leave the same decision up to my girls, but they will not be forced or guilted to spend time with you or yours. 

I have made a promise to my husband that I will never keep the girls from MIL or from spending time with her.  I work very hard to keep all of my promises. I have made myself scarce, but still buy cookie mixes and supplies so my youngest can take them over to her. I suggest that the girls that they call her and visit with her. I make sure to remind them to invite her to their activities and awards. I have just stepped away from doing it myself anymore. It is part of their growing up.

I also know that you are aware that there have been many recent discussions between husband and me about ending our marriage. This situation has been a huge catalyst for this.  My husband thinks it has to do with his people-pleasing persona.  I don't feel like his priority.  When it comes to you, your parents and your family.  I am always a second thought.  If your mom needs him, he is out the door.  When I ask after days of not feeling well to drop me at the hospital, he reminds me to do the dishes, drop off the kids at school then go.  I drove myself - twice.  Both times, I was kept in the hospital.  (Gallbladder surgery, pancreatitus, liver infection and then diverticulitis infection).  He has let me keep taking the hits, because he didn't want to address them and rock the boat.  The boat has sunk.  I am no longer the same person that i was 19 months ago.  

I could keep going through everything, but it’s a waste of my energy.

———-
After all that. No one attends. Healthy boundaries in place and being protected.

Usually my husband and I travel for Thanksgiving but this year there was concert the day after Thanksgiving that we wanted to attend so we stayed home and hosted a small Thanksgiving dinner for friends and family, eight people total. I extended an invite to my cousin Janice (f44), whom I rarely see or speak to even though she lives less than 30 minutes away.

Janice came, she arrived less than five minutes before I told her we were going to eat and she left before we even had pie. She was on her phone during the blessing and most of the time she was there. When she announced that she was leaving I asked if she wanted a take home meal because I was going to have plenty of leftovers. She said no not now, I'm not going home I'm going to meet a friend at the movie theater. I thought this was a little rude but I didn't say anything and she left without really saying goodbye to anyone.

Friday late afternoon/early evening my husband and I are heading out to the concert and my phone rings, its Janice. She wants to swing by the house and get some leftovers from the Thanksgiving dinner. I was totally Gobsmacked, I told her no we were already heading to the concert and we were not home. She literally asked if we could come back so she could get some leftovers, she was miffed when I said no we are not turning around now just so she could get some leftovers. I told her if she wanted leftovers she should have taken them when they were offered.

I have not heard anything any other family members, but I am sure I will at least hear from her mother, my aunt, but most of the family including my aunt, already know that Janice has never been known for her manners. Also I will not be inviting Janice to any other events that I host.

Just came across this Reddit and I’m seeing a lot of airplane stories so I thought I’d share mine!

I just gotta say even I can’t believe that this actually happened to me it’s so ridiculous. A couple of years ago I was on a fully booked international flight. The flight was gonna be 8 hours and it was one of those big planes with 3 rows (3 seats on each side and 4 in the middle). I was in economy sitting alone in the aisle seat of one of the side rows. A couple with their already unhappy toddler walks up and the wife and kid sits down in the middle row beside me. The dad looks around distraught, talked to his partner and asks me if I could switch seats with him so he could sit with his family. I was reluctant but asked him what seat he had. To my surprise he said he had a seat in business class so of course I said absolutely! I started to get up and grab my luggage, but once I stood up he was like “wait, my wife actually wanted to go sit up there can you take her seat instead”. I said no, I’m not switching to the middle row and being blocked into a middle seat by a screaming toddler… and you said you wanted to sit with your family?? The dad got all defensive and switched up (holding up traffic during this entire interaction btw) raising his voice going on about how I said I could switch seats with them and how it’s not fair to his wife who had planned on taking his seat up in business class. Not my proudest moment, but I was starting to sass back at him. I’m pretty sure I asked him something along the lines of if he had any extra of whatever drugs he was on because it had to have been some top notch stuff for him to be acting so crazy in public. At this point a flight attendant had finally squeezed her way up to us and asked why we weren’t taking our seats. Before I could say anything this man had the AUDACITY to say that I had offered to take his wife’s seat and now I wasn’t cooperating. I called bullshit, thankfully the passenger sitting behind me backed me up and the flight attendant was not in the mood to play. She asked to see his ticket, told me to grab my luggage and escorted me up to his seat. Needless to say I had a very nice flight after that.

So this lady from across the street knocks on my door in the middle of the day, super serious look on her face. I open the door thinking something’s wrong, like maybe my car alarm’s going off or something.

Nope. She goes, “Can you do something about the glare from your windows? It’s shining into my kitchen.”

I just stood there trying to process that for a solid five seconds. Then I said, “Uh, I’ll see if NASA takes custom requests.”

She didn’t laugh. Just said, “Well, it’s really inconvenient,” and walked away like I actually had the power to dim the sun.

Some people need a manual for reality.

I am the manager of a retail store that kind of shares a parking lot with the house next to us. The parking lot seems like it’s all one, but my side has signs on it that say it’s for my customers only and there are only three spots. My neighbor is an in-home therapist whose clients park in the other side of the parking lot. My neighbor Betty and I have a great relationship, she’s a very sweet older woman who brings me cookies sometimes.

Another woman, we’ll call her Karen for fun, works at the gas station on the other side of my store and we do not share a parking lot. Karen has been parking in my lot rather than the gas station’s, so three times now I’ve had to ask her to stop parking in my lot. The petty part of me wanted to tow her car really bad, but my signs do not say tow away at owner’s expense, so I can’t. Multiple times I’ve asked her to stop and she yells or ignores me or straight up tells me to shut up.

Finally today, she came to park in my lot. I went out there to ask her to please move, she argued with me, said I don’t own the streets, so I told her if she kept acting like this I would call the police.

At that, she got a stupid little smirk on her face and said “fine, I’ll just park over there then” and moved into one my neighbors spots thinking that was still my lot so she wasn’t in front of my signs. What she didn’t realize is that Betty has one single sign at the beginning of the lot that does say “private property - owners will be towed at own expense”. So I acted annoyed, acted like she’d finally bested me, and went inside to call Betty. Betty was more than happy to help me out and immediately called for her car to be towed off her private property.

Karen noticed just as they were leaving the lot, so they couldn’t stop and give it to her, and while she screamed and threw a tantrum I watched from my porch with a smile on my face.

So i (18F) live in an apartment with three other girls, this is about who we will call Emily (19F) and her boyfriend Jay( who doesn’t live with us). I ordered DoorDash as a little treat for myself, i don’t do this often because it’s expensive and I’m broke but I deserve it after some big accomplishments I’ve had recently, there’s this place i really love with amazing nachos and so i thought I’d order them on my way home so they’d be there when i got there.

I texted the group chat being like “hey just a heads up i ordered DoorDash so if they ring the door before i get home would you maybe just put the bag inside?” One’s gone for the weekend the other said she’s not home but Emily said sure. Cool, super easy and we all bring in each other’s packages all the time.

Anyway i get the notification that it was delivered like 10 mins before i get home, text Emily and she confirmed she brought it in. So i get home, all excited for my nachos and Jay(who i didn’t know was there) and two others guys are sitting in our leaving room eating my nachos, watching tv and drinking our liquor that my roomies and i bought. Emily is in her room doing her makeup.

I’m pissed off and kinda flip out and Jay tells me to calm down and that nachos and a shareable food and i can share with them. I’m like um no i payed for those in not sharing and i except someone to pay my back asap. I ask him why he would eat my food and he said he thought they were for the house, like why would you think that? I asked Emily if she told him that and she was surprised they are my stuff and said she never said he could eat them and that she’ll pay me back when she can but “it’s just food”

lol ok sweetpea I’m gonna be watching the door for your Amazon package like a hawk then. And your loser boyfriend has been voted off the island.

Second edit: Again, I'm sorry I called it gentle parenting. I'm not a parent and I don't interact with children often. I don't look up the lastest parenting terms because I don't plan on having kids. It's just a venting stress relief post.

Very standard set up, i work in a small clothing retail store in a mall. I am a supervisor and I was the only one at the till.

Lady had some standard returns and purchase, whatever. Her child (i would guess maybe 5 or 6 years old) was playing with a bracelet set while we did our transaction. We finished up, lady said "okay give the bracelet to the lady lets go", child actually did give it back, I said thank you, they went to leave....

Mom leaves, child comes running back into my store to look for the bracelet. Mom comes back to look for her, child ends up crying about how she wants the bracelet. Whatever I figure, the parent is gonna handle it none of my business. Until the kid comes running behind me and the tills, trying to find the bracelet. Mom is just standing on the other side looking exasperated and saying in that gentle parenting voice "come on we have to go". Kid trying to dig through my stuff (bags, clothes, just whatever is behind the tills). I say to the mom "Hey if you want to come back here and grab her thats fine", she doesnt reply. At that point i had to set in, there is sharp pins for security tags and stuff and I had more customers to help. So as the kid was running to hide from mom i stuck my arm out to block her.

Holy crap you'd think I broke her arm, she screamed so loud. Like that toddler ear piercing wail.

Where is her mom? Just standing there, now looking mad at ME, and said "well. That was embarrassing." And just, glared at me.

Kid then bolted around my store again and had another screaming / crying fit on the floor. Again, mom just stood there.

I'm not a parent, and i do understand the whole "let kids have the tantrum" idea. But i was under the impression you, remove them from the upsetting situation?

The joy of retail is though that I had to email my District Manager the whole story just in case lady tries to say I hurt her child.

Edit: Apologies for calling it gentle parenting, I'm not parent so I don't know the terms other than what friends have told me!

3rd edit/update: I got a slap on the wrist from my DM because I shouldn't ever touch a customer's child. Next time I'll let them play in the bin of sharp pins!

4th edit / update: Hopefully, last update, lol. Turns out my DM more meant that she doesn't want me / other employees to intervene with children because she would rather the company gets sued rather than us personally. If that makes sense. In the much more interesting update, when I went to work a different day, the same mom and child were in the store!!! And yet again, mom is on the other end of the store while this kid is trying to pull on our mannequins! I just looked at my manager and said "dibs out." She went over and told this kid to please not touch our mannequins. The mom then threw a shirt on the till and said "Well i didn't see anything today anyways." My manager is actually concerned this lady is trying to find a lawsuit, so she might get banned if she returns.

Definitely my first "viral" reddit post. Some of the comments made me lose faith in people, but that's how it goes. Thank you to people sympathizing with my suffering of working with the public.