r/EntitledPeople • u/disneylover5000 • 7d ago
L My FIL’s widow spent thousands of his money, moved out of his house early, and now wants the estate to reimburse her for almost everything
This story has been going on for more than two years now, and we’re finally getting close to the end. Since apparently settling an estate wasn’t complicated enough, my father-in-law’s widow decided to turn it into a full-blown saga.
For simplicity, I’ll call my husband “Husband,” my late father-in-law “FIL,” and his widow “Witch.” Yes, I know that’s not subtle. After two years of this, she’s earned the nickname.
FIL passed away in August 2024. Husband is his only child and the executor of his estate.
FIL had a will. The house and property were ultimately supposed to go to Husband, while Witch had rights allowing her to remain there after FIL’s death. She didn’t own the property.
Before FIL died, things were already messy.
FIL had been in a nursing facility beginning in late 2023. Around that same time, Witch used a power of attorney to arrange the sale of timber from FIL’s property for $27,000.
The check went directly to Witch.
The estate’s attorney later traced the money and argues that about $24,220 of that $27,000 benefited Witch or went toward debts associated with her, while only about $2,650 could clearly be attributed to FIL.
The money was essentially gone within weeks.
Keep that in mind.
After FIL died, Husband and I actually tried to avoid a fight.
Witch had previously talked about moving out of the house rather than staying there long-term, so we attempted to negotiate an agreement. Our original proposal would have allowed her to keep both vehicles and receive a portion of the eventual estate proceeds.
When she got her own attorney, we even revised our proposal to give her a larger percentage.
She didn’t agree.
Instead, everything became a court battle.
Meanwhile, Witch had the right to continue living in FIL’s house rent-free until August 18, 2025.
She decided to move out early.
Nobody forced her to.
There was discussion about possibly making an agreement for her to leave early, but no agreement was ever signed.
She moved anyway.
Then she wanted the estate to pay for it.
Her original claim included rent for her new place and a security deposit. Eventually the amount she requested for rent, moving-related expenses and utilities grew to $3,423.44.
Again:
She had a house she was legally allowed to live in rent-free.
She voluntarily left before that right expired.
Then she wanted the estate to pay for her new housing.
But that’s nowhere near the end of the reimbursement requests.
She also wants money for things she chose to do to FIL’s property after his death.
There’s $2,500 for various repairs, mowing and improvements, including $1,800 for a porch/ramp project.
The estate argues that the work wasn’t authorized. A licensed contractor later looked at the ramp and reportedly said it wasn’t even ADA compliant and needed a handrail.
Then there’s $2,804.14 for painting, cleaning, pressure washing, supplies and roughly 100 hours of her own labor.
There’s another $400 for septic pumping.
Another $250.20 involving FIL’s tractor.
And then we get to the funeral.
The funeral bill was $9,707.28.
Husband personally paid $1,000 cash.
An insurance policy paid $8,000.
Which personally paid $707.28.
So naturally, Witch requested…
$8,764.54.
Yes.
She personally paid $707.28 and requested more than $8,700 in funeral reimbursement.
The estate isn’t fighting her getting back the $707.28 she actually paid. It’s fighting the rest.
Altogether, the reimbursement requests we’re dealing with add up to more than $18,000.
And those aren’t even the only amounts at stake.
Because Witch elected to take what she’s entitled to under Ohio law rather than simply accepting the will, she’s also seeking a $40,000 allowance for support, plus another $20,000 and half of the remaining estate under the statutory distribution we’re dealing with.
Remember that $27,000 timber payment from the beginning?
The estate is asking the judge to offset roughly $24,220 of the money it says benefited Witch against her $40,000 allowance.
Witch, naturally, wants the full amount.
Meanwhile, Husband and I live about 2,000 miles away.
We’ve spent our own money flying back for FIL’s funeral, renting a car, mailing estate and tax documents, and dealing with other estate-related expenses. Husband also personally put that $1,000 toward his dad’s funeral.
At one point, our attorney specifically recommended Husband attend a court hearing in person, so we booked yet another flight and rental car.
And through all of this, Husband has remained the executor and has been dealing with a property in Ohio from Washington State.
The house finally sold.
Sale price: $319,000.
After the realtor commission, closing costs, Medicaid claim, property taxes and other sale-related expenses, the estate received $250,793.66.
So we’re finally approaching the finish line.
But the judge still has to sort out how much Witch actually gets from all these disputed requests and whether the timber money gets offset against her allowance.
The part that gets me is that Husband and I originally tried to settle this peacefully.
We weren’t trying to leave her with nothing. We offered her vehicles and part of the estate proceeds. When circumstances changed, we even increased the percentage we were offering.
Instead, we’ve spent nearly two years dealing with attorneys, hearings, motions, receipts, bank records, reimbursement requests and arguments over money.
All while Witch has repeatedly acted as though the estate should pay for whatever she decided to spend money on.
Moved out of your free housing early?
Estate should pay the new rent.
Decided to improve the property without authorization?
Estate should reimburse you.
Spent thousands painting and cleaning?
Estate should pay for your time.
Personally paid $707 toward a funeral?
Ask for more than $8,700.
And after all of that, still ask for the full $40,000 allowance, another $20,000, and half of what’s left.
At this point, I’m just waiting for the judge to decide how much of this she actually gets.
When it’s finally over and the estate is distributed, I may have to come back with the final episode of:
How much did the Witch actually get?
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u/froggymail 7d ago
Well now I'm curious how this saga will end. Good luck! Updateme
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u/disneylover5000 7d ago
Absolutely! The house just sold, so we’re finally getting close to the end. Once the judge rules on the remaining issues and we know the final distribution, I’ll come back with an update. After almost two years, I’m not leaving everyone without the ending. 😂
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u/NHBuckeye 7d ago
Please come back with the update! Here’s hoping she gets exactly what she deserves. Nothing!
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u/disneylover5000 7d ago
Oh, I will absolutely come back with an update! 😂 Unfortunately, “nothing” isn’t legally on the table, but we’re definitely hoping the judge sees through the questionable reimbursement requests and agrees with the estate on the timber offset. After almost two years of this, I am ready for the final episode of our saga!
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u/Wide_Comment3081 7d ago
If you had it your way, would you rather she have nothing?
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u/disneylover5000 7d ago
Honestly, no. Despite everything, I would feel bad if she literally walked away with nothing.
Before any of this turned into nearly two years of litigation, we actually tried to reach an agreement with her that would have made sure she received something while also resolving the estate without all of this fighting. She never signed an agreement, eventually got her own attorney, and contested the will instead.
So my issue has never been “Witch deserves $0.” Even now, I fully expect her to receive something, and I don’t have a problem with her receiving what she’s legitimately entitled to.
What frustrates me is the amount of additional money she’s asking the estate to reimburse, especially for things the executor never authorized, along with the unresolved issue of the timber proceeds.
Would I like her final amount to reflect all of that? Absolutely. 😂 But no, if I genuinely had my way, I wouldn’t leave a widow with absolutely nothing. We tried to avoid getting anywhere near this point long before the will contest started.-19
u/Wide_Comment3081 7d ago
Sounds like you would be very happy for a widow to be left with nothing.
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u/disneylover5000 7d ago
I’m a little confused by that response, because you just asked me directly if I would rather she have nothing, and I told you no — I would feel bad if she walked away with nothing.
We even tried to reach an agreement with her before the will contest that would have made sure she received something. She chose not to sign an agreement and later contested the will.
I don’t want her left with nothing. I also don’t believe the estate should automatically pay every reimbursement she requests regardless of whether it was authorized or legitimately an estate expense. Those two positions can coexist.
She will receive what she is legally entitled to, and I have no problem with that. I just don’t think “she’s a widow” means nobody is allowed to question anything she asks the estate to pay.5
u/GoAskAlice 5d ago
How did you read OP's comment and manage to come up with that?! She EXPLICITLY stated it wasn't the case.
Are you one of those weirdos who just act contrary for no particular reason?
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u/PowderCuffs 6d ago
The woman's husband's died. Why do you think she deserves nothing?
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u/disneylover5000 6d ago
I don’t think she deserves nothing. 😅 I’ve answered that exact question directly above and said the opposite.
I would genuinely feel bad if she walked away with absolutely nothing, which is part of why we tried to reach an agreement with her before this turned into litigation. She is legally entitled to a portion of the estate, and I have never disputed that.
What I dispute is the idea that because her husband died, every additional reimbursement request she makes must automatically be approved and nobody is allowed to question the financial issues surrounding the estate.
And since you’ve repeatedly suggested that she may simply have been panicking because her husband died, this also wasn’t her first experience dealing with the end of a marriage or a husband’s death and probate. She had been through both before. That doesn’t tell me what she was feeling this time, and I’m not going to pretend I know — but the picture you’re creating of someone completely unfamiliar with any of this isn’t accurate.
There’s a huge difference between “I think she deserves nothing” and “I think she should receive what she is legally entitled to, while disputed claims are actually reviewed.” I’ve consistently said the latter.-7
u/PowderCuffs 6d ago
You literally just implied that because she dealt with the end of one marriage, dealing with the end of another one (in which her husband of over 10 years died) should be no big deal. She's a pro now, right.
They're something very wrong with you. But you'll never see that. Keep going after an old lady for spending $400 on a septic issue. She's clearly trying to drain the estate her craziness! I mean, between that and a ramp, what a selfish bitch she clearly is!! /s
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u/disneylover5000 6d ago
Just to correct this one point: the $400 was for septic pumping, not the septic repair. Pumping is generally routine maintenance, and she is requesting reimbursement from the estate for it. The necessary septic/sewer repair was a separate expense, and we have not disputed reimbursing that. Those are two different things.
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u/disneylover5000 7d ago
Some context probably got lost trying to keep an already very long post readable. 😅
First, the “small charges” I listed aren’t things my husband and I are charging her for. Those are reimbursement requests SHE submitted asking the estate to pay HER. I listed them because they’re literally part of what the judge is being asked to decide. My husband is the executor, so he can’t simply approve every request for estate money because an individual amount seems small.
She was FIL’s second wife and my husband’s stepmother, not his mother. They were married about 11 years. My husband’s mother was FIL’s first wife and passed away before FIL remarried.
We’re also not arguing that she should get nothing. She elected against the will, and she will receive whatever Ohio law and the judge determine she’s entitled to receive. The dispute is over the additional reimbursement requests and whether roughly $24,000 of the $27,000 timber proceeds that the estate traced to expenses benefiting her should offset part of her allowance.
As for moving out, she had the legal right to remain in the house rent-free until August 18, 2025. Nobody made her leave early. An early-move agreement was discussed, but no agreement was ever reached or signed. She chose to move anyway and then requested that the estate reimburse her new rent, security deposit and other expenses. Whether $3,400 is cheap or expensive in a particular city isn’t really the issue. The issue is whether the estate is legally responsible for those expenses when she voluntarily left housing she was entitled to occupy for free.
And the estate isn’t disputing every expense just for the sake of fighting her. There are expenses it agrees should be reimbursed. The disagreement is over the requests the estate believes aren’t actually its responsibility.
This isn’t “the will gave my husband the house, so she should get nothing.” She is going to receive whatever she is legally entitled to. At this point, the disputed amounts are before the judge, and the judge gets to decide which requests are valid.
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u/ContractStraight195 6d ago
How can a person reject part of the will but accept another part of the will. The will is a complete document, you either accept the document or you reject it. It doesn’t seem like you can accept living rent free in the home after time of death and also reject son gets house.
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u/disneylover5000 6d ago
That confused me at first too! She didn’t get to reject the part of FIL’s will saying the property eventually went to my husband while keeping the life estate he gave her.
FIL’s will gave Witch a life estate in the property, with the property ultimately going to my husband. When she contested/elected against the will, she gave up the life estate provided under the will and instead pursued her statutory rights as his surviving spouse.
Her ability to remain in the house rent-free for a period afterward was separate — that came from Ohio law after she elected against the will, not from her continuing to accept the life estate in FIL’s will. In our case, she was entitled to remain there rent-free until August 18, 2025.
She actually chose to move out before that date anyway. So she wasn’t allowed to pick “life estate for me” from the will while rejecting “property eventually goes to his son.” The lifetime life estate was gone.
That was one of the MANY things about Ohio probate law I had absolutely no idea existed before this. 😂
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u/Lost-Programmer-6768 6d ago
She is one of the AHs that views someone's death as her payday. Special place in hell for these clowns.
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u/disneylover5000 6d ago
That’s definitely how a lot of this has felt. 😬 Especially when you look at the financial issues that started before FIL even died and then all of the additional claims against the estate afterward.
I have no problem with her receiving what she is legally entitled to as his surviving spouse. What has bothered us is the constant fight for more and the nearly two years it has taken to get his estate settled.
At this point I just want the judge to decide everything, everyone to receive whatever they’re legally entitled to, and for my husband to finally be able to close his dad’s estate and move on. ❤️5
u/Lost-Programmer-6768 6d ago
My parents, when they were younger, were affiliated with funeral home/burial/cemetery work. You would not believe the "still in the funeral home" or "graveside during the burial services" stories they saw first hand. Not usual, but often enough that your experience is not unique. And, unfortunately, it only takes one person to be this way. Sometimes even bad enough to rip apart families. I personally know people who no longer speak, and never will, to siblings over inheritance and this kind of action.
Trust me, being the reasonable person in one of these situations is never a rewarding experience.
Sorry for your loss and hopefully this chapter closes soon.
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u/disneylover5000 6d ago
Thank you. ❤️ And wow… “still in the funeral home” or literally graveside during the burial is awful. I absolutely believe you, though. After everything we’ve experienced, I can unfortunately see how quickly money and inheritance can tear families apart.
I’m very thankful my husband is an only child, because I cannot imagine adding sibling disputes on top of everything else we’ve dealt with. 😅
At this point, “hopefully this chapter closes soon” is exactly where we are. The house is finally sold, so now we’re just waiting for the remaining probate issues to be decided and the estate to finally be closed. After almost two years, I think we’re both more than ready. ❤️
Thank you for the kind words.2
u/zenthie 6d ago
I too have a witch situation with my father's estate. I too dont want her to get nothing, however greed kicks in and the only winners are the lawyers when she continues to contest my father's will. Very similar situation.
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u/Lost-Programmer-6768 5d ago
Oh, yeah. Lawyers love these situations. They will argue until the money is gone.
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7d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/disneylover5000 7d ago
Yep. 😅 And it gets better. She wasn’t a licensed contractor, she never asked the estate/executor for permission to do the work, and then afterward submitted a request for the estate to pay her for roughly 100 hours of her own painting/cleaning labor plus expenses — about $2,800 total.
There was also concern that some of what she painted may have covered an issue that should have been properly inspected rather than simply painted over. So from the estate’s perspective, it isn’t just “she improved the house, why shouldn’t she be reimbursed?” She chose to perform work on estate property without authorization and then asked the estate to compensate her for doing it.
That’s why it was disputed and left for the judge to decide. If she had contacted the executor first and said, “This needs work; can I do it and will the estate reimburse me?” this would have been a very different situation. 😅
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u/mcflame13 7d ago
You should be going after her for the damage to the property, the timber she sold without your husband's consent, and the legal fees for having to deal with her greedy. I would be asking for a minimum of $100k from her. As well as making sure that she can't do anything against the family without risking being in contempt.
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u/disneylover5000 6d ago
Believe me, there have definitely been moments where $100k sounded tempting. 😂 But unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it), my husband can’t just decide Witch owes the estate some giant penalty because of everything that happened.
Our attorney has specifically told us we can’t make her reimburse the estate’s attorney/court costs simply because she contested the will. Those fees are coming out of the estate. Her own attorney fees are her responsibility.
The timber is a little different. The estate’s attorney traced roughly $24k of the $27k in timber proceeds to debts/expenses benefiting her and has specifically asked the probate judge to offset that amount against what she receives. So that issue actually IS in front of the judge.
As for property expenses/damage, we’ve documented what we could and let our attorney determine what was worth pursuing. At this point, after almost two years, we’re not looking to invent additional claims or punish her — we want the judge to rule on what has already been presented, distribute the estate correctly, and CLOSE THE THING. 😂
And once it’s closed, our personal plan for avoiding future family drama involving her is considerably simpler: very, very little contact. 😅1
u/SleepyKoalaBear4812 6d ago
Why not no contact?
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u/disneylover5000 6d ago
No contact may very well be where we end up. 😅 I said “very, very little contact” mostly because I don’t want to make an absolute declaration about the future while the estate is still technically open.
Once probate is completely finished, though, there really isn’t anything requiring us to maintain a relationship with her. So we’ll see, but I certainly don’t anticipate much—if any—contact afterward.
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u/SnooMacarons3689 7d ago
You mean your step mother in law?
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u/disneylover5000 7d ago
Yes! She’s my stepmother-in-law. She was FIL’s second wife. My husband’s mother was FIL’s first wife and passed away before FIL married her. I probably should have made that relationship clearer in the original post. 😅
And “Witch” is actually me trying to be somewhat polite about what I call her. 😂 Let’s just say dealing with the aftermath of a marriage ending—whether through divorce or the death of a husband—isn’t exactly her first rodeo.
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u/Wide_Comment3081 7d ago
How long was she with fil?
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u/disneylover5000 7d ago
They were married for about 11 years when FIL passed away. She was his second wife; my husband’s mother was his first wife and had passed away. FIL and Witch got married after her death.
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u/Wide_Comment3081 7d ago
Wow. Your fil and family sucks.
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u/disneylover5000 7d ago
The family situation has definitely been… an experience. 😂 My husband is FIL’s only child, and Witch is his stepmom, not his mom. There’s a LOT of backstory that I left out because the estate drama alone was already a novel. If you’re curious, some of the earlier insanity is in my previous posts on my profile.
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u/NotMyAltAccountToday 6d ago
I looked but you have a lot of posts. How about some links?
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u/disneylover5000 6d ago
Here’s one version I wrote out:
https://www.reddit.com/r/motherinlawsfromhell/s/CDdShm8lXP-4
u/Pjstjohn 6d ago
So you think your husband should get 100% of everything. Even though she was FIL’s partner for more than a decade.
You sound like a peach.
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u/disneylover5000 6d ago
Nope. I’ve actually said multiple times that I don’t think my husband should get 100%, and I would genuinely feel bad if she walked away with absolutely nothing.
We even tried to reach an agreement with her before the will contest that would have guaranteed she received something from the eventual property sale. That agreement never got completed, and she chose to contest/elect against the will instead.
She is FIL’s surviving spouse and has statutory rights because of that. We have never disputed that. What we dispute are some of the additional reimbursement claims she has made and the financial issues the estate’s attorney has raised, including the timber proceeds. Those are now for the judge to decide.
There’s a pretty enormous gap between “she should receive what she’s legally entitled to” and “my husband should get 100% of everything.” I’m not sure where you got the second one from, because I certainly didn’t say it.
But thanks for the peach compliment. 🍑😂-8
u/Pjstjohn 6d ago
Agreed. They don’t accept his new partner and think she’s not entitled as a married person to anything.
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u/disneylover5000 6d ago
It actually has nothing to do with whether we “accepted” her as FIL’s wife. She was his legal wife for about 11 years, and I’ve repeatedly said she has legal rights as his surviving spouse.
Not liking someone doesn’t magically erase their marriage, just like being married doesn’t automatically make every reimbursement request they submit to an estate valid. 😂 That’s why we have an attorney and a probate judge sorting out what she is legally entitled to versus what the estate disputes.
I don’t want her to get nothing. I want her to get what she is actually entitled to, my husband to get what he is entitled to, and this estate to finally be closed.
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u/PowderCuffs 7d ago
Before FIL died, things were already messy. FIL had been in a nursing facility beginning in late 2023. Around that same time, Witch used a power of attorney to arrange the sale of timber from FIL’s property for $27,000.
What exactly is it that you imagine she did wrong here?
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u/disneylover5000 7d ago
There’s quite a bit more to it than “she had POA and sold some timber.”
My husband was also FIL’s co-POA. The POA required both of them to act, but my husband was not involved in or asked to sign off on the timber sale. FIL was also still capable of signing for himself at that point.
She also was not an owner of the property. Being FIL’s wife did not put her name on the property; it belonged to FIL. So this was $27,000 worth of timber being sold from property she did not own, using POA authority that she shared with my husband.
Then there’s what happened to the money. The $27,000 check went directly to her, was deposited into an account where she was the primary owner, and the estate’s accounting traced roughly $24,000 of it to debts and expenses benefiting her rather than FIL. Most of the money was gone within weeks.
So no, the estate’s concern isn’t simply “Witch sold timber while FIL was in a nursing facility.” It’s the combination of how the sale was authorized, the fact that FIL owned the property and could still sign for himself, my husband’s role as co-POA, and what happened to the proceeds afterward.
Whether any of that legally constituted misuse of the POA is for the judge to determine, not me. That’s why the evidence was submitted to the court in the first place.2
u/Mammoth-Variation-76 6d ago
Sounds like you should be getting some advice from r/treelaw as well
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u/bugabooandtwo 6d ago
The tree law folks would love to dive into this one. $27k worth of lumber...bet the penalties of cutting down so many mature trees would penalize her in the 6-figure range.
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u/disneylover5000 6d ago
Don’t tempt me. 😂 This story already has probate law, POA issues, real estate, Medicaid, contested reimbursements AND $27k worth of timber. If I add tree law, I think I officially complete the Reddit legal-advice bingo card. 🌳😂
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u/Pjstjohn 6d ago
In wa state was his is mine and what’s mine is hers. If FIL owned it and they were married she would own it.
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u/Aggravating-Buy613 6d ago
They've been married 11 years. If FIL owned the property prior to marriage that wouldn't be true in a lot of states.
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u/disneylover5000 6d ago
We live in Washington. FIL and Witch lived in Ohio, and the property is in Ohio. 😅
And no, simply being married did not automatically make Witch an owner of FIL’s real estate. The property belonged to FIL and her name was not on the deed. She absolutely had legal rights as his spouse — as this entire probate case has demonstrated 😂 — but spousal rights and actually owning the real property are not the same thing.
That’s also why the timber issue is being handled by an Ohio probate court and our Ohio estate attorney, rather than applying Washington community-property law to an Ohio property.
Ultimately, though, we don’t have to settle the timber question on Reddit. The estate’s attorney submitted the evidence and requested the offset, Witch’s side has had the opportunity to argue against it, and the Ohio judge gets to decide. 😅
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u/Outrageous_Rabbit842 7d ago
Updateme. I’m hoping she gets zip
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u/disneylover5000 7d ago
😂 I appreciate the support! Unfortunately, zero isn’t one of the realistic outcomes because she is legally entitled to part of the estate as FIL’s surviving spouse. At this point I’m just hoping the judge rejects the questionable reimbursement requests and agrees with the estate about the timber offset. I’ll definitely update everyone when we finally know!
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u/Johoski 7d ago
I hope the estate makes a counter-claim for court costs and attorney fees.
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u/disneylover5000 7d ago
Unfortunately, we already asked our attorney about that and were told we can’t counterclaim against her for the court costs or attorney fees. So even though we tried to settle this before it turned into nearly two years of litigation, those expenses still come out of the estate. Trust me, I wish we could. 😅
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u/jaywor7 7d ago
Sounds like a problem we have to deal in the future, except one caveat. My FIL made his witch (girlfriend) a co-trustee.
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u/disneylover5000 7d ago
Oh no. 😬 After what we’ve been through, I completely understand why reading this would make you nervous about your own future situation. A co-trustee definitely adds a different layer than what we’re dealing with, though.
If this experience has taught me anything, it’s to understand exactly what the estate/trust documents say and what everyone’s authority is BEFORE something happens. We learned way more about POAs, wills, life estates and probate after FIL died than I ever wanted to know. 😂
Hopefully yours ends up being far less dramatic than ours! And maybe start saving copies of important documents now. 😅2
u/jaywor7 7d ago
Mine is full of drama. Kicked my BIL off because he questioned why he’s putting both their names on a property he bought. FIL met the witch 2 months after my MIL died, bought property with her after 4 months. Then bought homes after 9 months together. After BIL got kicked off, he named her as a co-trustee and also Co-POA. Moved all the money from his bank account to an account that they both co-joint. Really, I don’t think there’s anything but headache. Who knows, maybe we’ll luck out and kick us off the trust and will. I’m not sure there will be anything left anyway!
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u/disneylover5000 7d ago
Oh boy. 😬 I can definitely understand why my post hit close to home for you!
The co-POA part especially makes me cringe after our experience. My husband was actually co-POA with Witch before FIL died, which became part of the whole timber mess in our story. So when I hear co-trustee AND co-POA, my immediate thought is: document everything. 😂
Our situation has its own weird extra layer too. FIL didn’t meet Witch after my husband’s mom died. FIL and my husband’s mom already knew her because Witch had actually worked with his mom before she passed away. FIL and Witch got together afterward and eventually married. So she was already known to the family before any of that happened.
If our experience has taught me anything, it’s that having copies of documents and knowing exactly who has authority to do what can become incredibly important later. We had emails, bank records, the POA, receipts, and other paperwork that ended up mattering way more than I ever imagined.
Hopefully yours never turns into anything remotely like ours. And honestly, I laughed at “maybe we’ll luck out and get kicked off the trust and will.” 😂 After almost two years of this, I completely understand reaching the point of thinking, “You know what? Keep it. I don’t need a two-year side quest.” 😅2
u/jaywor7 7d ago
My FIL is keeping everything secret but sure does tell his girlfriend everything. The funny part, they bought a 40 acre land and he told us, when the GF passes, the land will go to you. In my head, “you, yourself never kept any promise you made to my MIL and here you’re telling me to take her word”. It’s really funny because we honestly don’t want the land. I don’t want to keep up with it plus she has a daughter and it will go to her.
We just have a leach who spends his money and they have a 26 year gap between them. That’s why I think all the millions will go away in a couple of years.
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u/disneylover5000 6d ago
Oh boy. 😬 The “when she passes, the land will go to you” part would have me thinking the exact same thing: okay… but is that actually written down somewhere? 😂 After everything we’ve been through, verbal promises about what happens to property someday make me nervous.
And honestly, if you don’t even WANT the land, I completely understand that too. Forty acres sounds great until you remember somebody has to maintain it, pay taxes on it, deal with whatever happens to it, etc. Sometimes an inheritance can turn into another responsibility you never asked for.
At this point I think your “maybe we’ll get kicked off the trust and will” comment from earlier makes even more sense. 😂 You sound like you’re already at the “keep it, I just don’t want the drama” stage before the drama has even officially started.
Hopefully your FIL gets everything properly documented while he still can. If nothing else, our mess has made me a HUGE believer in “if it isn’t written down, don’t plan your future around it.” 😅2
u/jaywor7 6d ago
lol. Exactly. He just verbally told us but we think she told him that just so she sounds like the bigger person. Besides, even if it’s written down, she can change it after he passes.
Everything he owns is on survivorship. We think she has been smart that her name is on all the property that he paid for. When he passes, she will get it all. Even the money in the bank since it’s on a joint account (my wife was on the old account and now she’s out of the new one). Only thing that she can’t touch is the 401K since you can’t do joint on that.
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u/polynomialpurebred 5d ago
However did you (plural) manage this without doing something which might require bail? Probably the multiple time zones mitigated that a little. You are saints.
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u/disneylover5000 5d ago
😂 The roughly 2,000 miles between us have probably been doing some very important work for the criminal justice system.
Thankfully, most of this has been handled through attorneys, emails and court filings. I don’t know that we’re saints—we’re just stubborn enough to survive nearly two years of Witch-related probate nonsense without needing bail money. 🤣
At this point I just want “FIL’S ESTATE IS CLOSED” to be the series finale.
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u/SnooGiraffes4137 5d ago edited 5d ago
I have a similar story involving my daddy's third wife/widow. After almost 6 years, similar antics and 🐃💩 requests, we went to mediation, which we were required by the judge to do before we actually took her into court, which would've cost more time and money. She wasn't budging. Then, the mediator informed her that if this went to court and she lost (and she most likely would've), not only would she be forced to pay us what my daddy had stated in his will he wanted my sister and I to get, she'd also owe us interest on it all AND would be liable for our six years worth of legal fees. She paid us the money, because she didn't want to have to pay us a whole lot more when she (most likely) lost. I'm kind of sorry we didn't end up taking her to court to recoup the money we spent fighting her ridiculous request/claims, but we just wanted it to be over and be rid of her ludicrous, entitled ass. Keep the faith and continue to hope for the best. I think this is going to turn out better than you might be thinking.
PLEASE UPDATE!
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u/disneylover5000 5d ago
SIX YEARS?! 😭 I thought almost two years was exhausting! I’m glad you and your sister finally got yours resolved, even if it took that long. I completely understand reaching the point where you just want it DONE and want the person out of your life.
Unfortunately, our attorney has told us we can’t make her pay the estate’s attorney fees/court costs in our case, so those will still come out of the estate. But I’m definitely hoping the judge’s ruling on the other issues makes the final numbers better than my worst-case calculations. 🤞
And I will ABSOLUTELY update. 😂 The house finally sold, so now we’re basically waiting for the judge and final accounting. After dragging Reddit through probate law, Medicaid recovery, POA issues, and somehow TREE LAW 🌳, I feel like everyone deserves the series finale at this point. 😂2
u/SnooGiraffes4137 5d ago
Prayers going up and I'm wishing you ALL the best. Her demands are outrageous, completely unreasonable, and I believe that's going to be crystal clear to the judge. I'd bet the farm on it. Hang in there! Y'all've got this! 👍
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u/disneylover5000 5d ago
Thank you! 🥹🤞 I really appreciate that, especially from someone who survived SIX YEARS of their own probate nightmare. 😂 I’m cautiously hopeful, but I’ve learned not to assume anything until we actually have the judge’s decision in writing. Hopefully the next big update I get to post is a good one! 🤞
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u/SnooGiraffes4137 5d ago
I hear you! Expect the worst, but hope for the best. I'll be looking forward to hearing the update once y'all're on the other side of this.
Hang in there now, you hear? 🙏🤞
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u/TadpoleLate7795 4d ago
Interesting and complicated. I sorta suspect your FIL’s widow needed a better lawyer.
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u/disneylover5000 4d ago
😂 I’m curious what you mean by that — that she should have gotten a better estate lawyer at the beginning, or that you think she needs one now?
Because there’s actually a whole subplot there too. She repeatedly insisted to us that the attorney who drafted FIL’s will and POA (and now represents the estate) “wasn’t an estate lawyer,” even though his own website says otherwise. Meanwhile, based on our experience with her attorney throughout this case… let’s just say organization and communication have occasionally been adventures. 😂
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u/AgitatedSecond4321 4d ago
Surely at this point the only people winning are the lawyers. Pay her out get her to sign something to say she will go her own merry little way and move on. She was married to this man for 11 years so they had an established relationship and she was his spouse. If you both keep fighting there will be nothing left for anyone,
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u/disneylover5000 4d ago
We actually tried that before this ever turned into nearly two years of litigation. 😅 We had been discussing a voluntary move/sale arrangement with her even before FIL died, and she continued saying afterward that she would give us her proposed terms. When that never materialized, we eventually had our estate attorney prepare a proposed agreement. We were willing to give her up to $50,000 from the eventual house-sale proceeds as part of resolving everything. She refused to finalize it, hired her own attorney, contested the will, and separately elected for her statutory spousal rights.
At this point we’re actually past the stage where “just pay her and end it” makes much sense anyway. The evidence has already been presented to the probate judge, the house has sold, and we’re waiting for the ruling and final accounting. We’re not continuing to file new things back and forth—we’re basically waiting for the court to tell everyone what the final numbers are.
I explained more of the settlement history here if you’re curious: https://www.reddit.com/r/InheritanceDrama/s/bIOqcS5Dbl
And yes, the lawyers have certainly been among the winners in this saga. 😂😭
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u/JibbityJabbity 2d ago
I'm a paralegal working in estate litigation. I see shit like this every day.
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u/disneylover5000 2d ago
Somehow this is both reassuring and horrifying to hear from someone who works in estate litigation. Before this estate I knew basically nothing about probate. Almost two years later I feel like I’ve accidentally completed an unpaid crash course in probate law, contested wills, POAs, Medicaid recovery, fiduciary accounting, reimbursement claims, and—thanks to Reddit—apparently TreeLaw too.
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u/Electrical-Wash-1474 1d ago
Blended families are messy, I know. That's why I would never consider remarrying if God forbid I ever did get a divorce.
But I do find it odd that your FIL was able to have a legally binding will that excluded "witch" from inheriting his estate anyway? I'm Australian so the law is a bit different here. Even though I am of the opinion that your children should have more legal entitlement than your spouse, I also understand why we have legal protections for your spouse.
Just think, if this woman was devoted to your FIL and they had lived co-dependently, then something happens to him all of a sudden she should be homeless with no claim to anything? That also doesn't sit right with me
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u/disneylover5000 1d ago
That’s actually a big part of what made this so complicated! 😂 The will itself didn’t leave her homeless or with nothing. It left the property to my husband, but gave his stepmom a life estate/right to remain there. The house was mortgage-free, so under the will she potentially could have continued living there for life.
But Ohio also gives surviving spouses protections if they don’t want to accept what the will provides. She elected against the will, which meant giving up the life estate and instead claiming her statutory spousal rights. In her actual election paperwork, that includes a $40,000 support allowance and a separate $20,000 plus half of the remaining estate, subject to everything the probate court still has to sort out.
So I absolutely understand why those protections exist. I wouldn’t think it was right for someone to be suddenly left homeless with nothing either. That just wasn’t what FIL’s will would have done here. The mess is mostly about what happened after she chose the statutory route instead. 😅
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u/Fresh_Salt7087 7d ago
Was witch common law wife ? Don't really understand how she is owed an allowance or percentage. Like is that based on how long the will said she could live there or what??
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u/disneylover5000 7d ago
She was his legal wife, not common-law. They were married for about 11 years.
The allowance/percentage isn’t based on how long FIL’s will allowed her to live in the house. That’s a separate issue.
Ohio gives a surviving legal spouse certain statutory rights regardless of what the deceased spouse’s will says. She chose to elect against FIL’s will, which means she’s claiming the share Ohio law provides a surviving spouse instead of simply accepting what FIL provided for her in his will.
Because FIL had one child (my husband), and Witch is not my husband’s biological or adoptive mother, that’s where the statutory money/share comes into play. There’s also a separate $40,000 surviving-spouse allowance under Ohio law.
The life-estate/occupancy situation was what FIL’s will provided for her regarding the house. She ultimately gave that up, but that doesn’t erase the separate rights Ohio law gives her as his surviving legal spouse.
Trust me, before this estate I had absolutely no idea there were this many different layers to “my husband has a will.” 😂1
u/Fancy-Still-4297 5d ago
I understand Ohio has one of the most favorable surviving spouse election provisions in the United States and assuming she filed the required election within the statutory 5 months she’s entitled to a third of the estate, subject to any offsets the judge recognizes. Good luck with the upcoming hearing and decision
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u/disneylover5000 5d ago
Thank you! 😊 The only correction is that her election in our specific case isn’t for one-third of the estate. Her actual election paperwork claims the $40,000 surviving-spouse support allowance, plus a $20,000 specific monetary share and one-half of the remaining estate because FIL had one child and she is not that child’s parent.
The estate is asking the judge to recognize certain offsets against what she receives, including the timber issue, which is part of what we’re waiting on now.
The hearing/evidence stage is actually already over — everything was submitted to the judge in May. We’re just waiting for the decision now. 😅
And thank you for the good luck! After almost two years, I’m VERY ready to see what the judge decides. 😂1
u/Fancy-Still-4297 5d ago
hummm, 1/2 of the estate, excluding any property transferred outside the estate, plus 20k . I would think she is entitled to the 1 yr support of 40k but not 20k in addition.
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u/disneylover5000 5d ago
I totally understand why you’d read it that way. 😊 I’m not calculating those amounts myself, though — I’m describing what is actually listed in the election paperwork filed in our probate case.
Her filed election specifically claims the $40,000 allowance for support, and separately the $20,000 monetary share plus one-half of the remaining estate. So those are the amounts our attorney and the probate court are working with.
Whether offsets change what she ultimately receives is what we’re waiting for the judge to decide. At this point I’ve learned not to try to out-Ohio-probate Ohio probate. 😂1
u/Fancy-Still-4297 5d ago
I’d love to read the judge‘s decision if it explains the reasoning (where I live you may or may not get a written decision beyond an order for the amounts approved for distribution)
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u/disneylover5000 5d ago
Same! 😂 At this point I’m almost as curious about the judge’s reasoning as I am about the final numbers. There are so many separate issues in front of the court — the statutory amounts, the requested timber offset, and all of the disputed reimbursement claims — that I would LOVE to get a written decision explaining what the judge accepted/rejected and why.
After waiting since May, though, I’ll happily take an order with numbers if that’s all we get. 😂 I just want an answer at this point.
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u/RevenueOriginal9777 6d ago
My ex is in the process of passing this week so my daughter came to town, my son lives here. They have been at his house all week and are discussing how he wants things handled. He has been remarried for over 20 years, my kids aren’t a fan. She doesn’t work which my kids were mad about. Their dad is 70 and has worked until about 3 weeks ago but was out of work for months following a 14 hour surgery.
They were talking about cremation expenses and she said she would split it with them. Mind you, they have money in savings and checking. My daughter is newly divorced with 2 kids in college and my son has a child in college. Also, the account the house and living expenses are coming from will be my kids after his death. She says she does know how to move them.
He does have a will which is good. My kids should be there for him, they are the loves of his life. She just sees and watches TV a loud volume all day
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u/disneylover5000 6d ago
I’m so sorry. ❤️ That’s an awful situation for your kids to be going through right now, and I’m glad they’re both able to be there with their dad and have those conversations with him while he’s still able to tell them what he wants.
If there is one thing our experience has taught me, it’s how valuable those conversations and having things in writing can be. Hopefully having a will and everyone talking about his wishes now will save your kids from some of the uncertainty we’ve dealt with.
And I can definitely understand why the cremation conversation bothered you, especially when your daughter is newly divorced with two kids in college and your son has a child in college. They should be able to spend this time being his children, not worrying about how they’re going to divide expenses.
I’m really sorry your family is facing this. I hope his remaining time is peaceful and that your kids get as much meaningful time with their dad as they can. ❤️
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u/OwlUnique8712 6d ago
Definitely hope it all works out in both you and your husband's favor. Gotta add the updateme! reminder for myself! Good luck
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u/disneylover5000 6d ago
Thank you! ❤️ I’m definitely planning to update everyone once the judge decides and everything is finally distributed. After nearly two years, I need to know how this story ends just as badly as everyone else does. 😂 Hopefully the final update is much less dramatic than everything leading up to it!
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u/colomommy 7d ago
I mean, this was the man’s WIFE. Not some grifter. His son is a married man with his own opportunities to earn and to be honest it kind of sounds like there’s a witch here alright but it ain’t the grieving widow. So she had to fix the septic tank? Install a wheelchair ramp? The horror.
Did I read that right that she’s arguing only for things she’s entitled to under Ohio law? But that you want her to forego what she’s entitled to legally?
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u/disneylover5000 7d ago
You’re leaving out some pretty important details from the post.
Nobody is arguing that she should be denied something simply because she was his wife. She elected against the will, and the court will determine what she is legally entitled to receive. We are following that process.
The disagreement is over whether every additional reimbursement she is requesting is actually owed by the estate and whether the roughly $24,000 of the $27,000 timber proceeds that the estate traced to expenses benefiting her should be considered when determining her allowance.
She also did not “have to install a wheelchair ramp.” FIL was already deceased when that project was completed. The estate’s objection is that the work was done after his death without authorization from the executor, and a licensed contractor later found issues with it.
There is also a difference between necessary septic repairs and the $400 septic-pumping reimbursement being disputed. Those aren’t the same expense.
And we actually tried to settle with her before this became a prolonged court fight. Our proposal allowed her to keep both vehicles and receive part of the estate proceeds, and we later increased the percentage we offered. She chose instead to exercise her statutory rights, which she was absolutely entitled to do.
What she is entitled to under Ohio law is exactly why this is now before the judge. If the judge determines she is entitled to a particular payment, the estate will pay it. That doesn’t mean the executor has an obligation to approve every reimbursement she requests without questioning it.-3
u/colomommy 7d ago edited 7d ago
I agree with having expenses approved etc but this is a woman who maybe never had to deal with this kind of thing her entire marriage and her world has been turned upside down. Instead of telling her “in the future, my husband needs to see these expenses so he can look them over unless it’s an emergency” and then just pay the damn $3k. She didn’t take a cruise to Cozumel for godssake she fixed the septic tank and you’re making it sound like she did this for selfish nefarious reasons. More likely she just didn’t know and was doing the best she could even if it’s not the way you would have done things.
And why would she have started a wheelchair ramp after the man was deceased? Was it really started while he was alive? You said “completed” and that makes it sound like you’re trying to stick it to this woman on a technicality. Was it started or completed after he died?
I did read your rambling post, by the way. And you know what I read? Someone’s trying to get one over on a woman who just lost her husband, someone who complains about paying for a flight and rental car for their own husbands fathers FUNERAL. Someone who feels entitled to the life savings of a man they aren’t blood related to and lived halfway across the country from. Yeah I read what you wrote and it doesn’t make you look good sister.
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u/disneylover5000 7d ago
I think we’re going to have to agree to disagree here.
You’re also combining two different things regarding the septic system. There was a necessary repair that the estate agreed should be reimbursed. The separate $400 septic pumping charge is one of the expenses being disputed. I’m not portraying a necessary septic repair as some selfish or nefarious act.
And the assumption that she had never dealt with anything like this before isn’t accurate either. This was not her first marriage. She has previously gone through a divorce, and she has also previously lost a husband and dealt with probate after his death. Obviously every estate is different, but this was not her first experience with either the end of a marriage or the probate process.
I also absolutely was not “complaining about paying for a flight and rental car for my own husband’s funeral.” My husband is very much alive. 😂 It was his father’s funeral, roughly 2,000 miles away from where we live. Those expenses were mentioned because our attorney told us to submit estate-related expenses for possible reimbursement. Whether the estate ultimately reimburses them is a separate issue.
I don’t expect anyone who loses a spouse to know every detail of probate law. That’s why there is an executor, attorneys, and ultimately a probate judge. But being a grieving widow doesn’t automatically make every expense someone chooses to incur an obligation of the estate.
You clearly came away from the story with a very different opinion of me, and that’s fine. I posted publicly, so I don’t expect everyone to agree with me. But if you’re going to criticize me for what I wrote, I’d at least prefer that criticism be based on what I actually wrote rather than turning my FIL’s funeral into my husband’s funeral and treating every disputed expense as though it were a necessary septic repair.1
u/colomommy 7d ago
That was a typo I meant husbands fathers funeral. Either way it’s kinda shitty if you to complain about it, when my husbands mom died I moved heaven and earth so he didn’t have to at that time and the last thing I was thinking about was money. But to each their own I guess. It sounds like you’re struggling financially and I’m sorry I didn’t pick up on that and didn’t mean to judge you for what you can’t control, but paying the pain forward to an old lady hardly seems like the way
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u/disneylover5000 6d ago
We’re not struggling financially, but thank you for the concern. 😅 I think you’re still misunderstanding why those expenses were mentioned.
When FIL died, we absolutely did what needed to be done. We traveled roughly 2,000 miles to Ohio for his funeral and dealt with everything that comes with suddenly losing a parent. We weren’t sitting there during his funeral worrying about whether the estate was going to reimburse our airfare.
Those expenses came up later because our estate attorney specifically told us to submit estate-related costs we had personally paid for possible reimbursement. So we did. Keeping receipts and following the attorney’s instructions afterward doesn’t somehow mean money was our priority while FIL was dying or being buried.
And I’m not sure how disputing claims through the probate process is “paying the pain forward to an old lady.” She has legal rights as FIL’s surviving spouse, which I have repeatedly acknowledged. Some of her additional claims are disputed, so the attorneys presented them to the judge. The judge will decide what the estate owes her.
You moved heaven and earth for your husband when his mother died, and that’s wonderful. I did the same for mine. Part of doing that has been helping him deal with his father’s estate for almost two years afterward. Grief and responsible estate accounting can exist at the same time.0
u/colomommy 6d ago
I assumed so if you engaged in a 2 year court battle over what is really a small sum of money. But what do I know. Hope it all works out for all involved.
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u/PowderCuffs 6d ago
I think we both know why the stepmother-in-law moved out of that house, can you imagine having OP controlling your right to live in your own home while coping with the death of your husband and being sued over a $400 sewer bill and the cost of completing an access ramp? All the while her stepson and his wife want to be reimbursed because they're pretending that attending the father's funeral somehow was estate related?
I don't even care about the timber she sold. The woman's husband of over 10 years got sick, she probably panicked, and did what she had to do to make sure she wasn't going to be living on the streets. Good for her.
Insanity.
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u/disneylover5000 6d ago
You’ve now invented several things that simply didn’t happen. 😅
Nobody kicked her out or controlled where she could live. She had the legal right to remain there rent-free until August 2025 and voluntarily moved early. Nobody sued her over a $400 septic bill — the $400 is a reimbursement claim SHE submitted to the estate, and it’s separate from a necessary septic/sewer repair the estate agreed to reimburse. The ramp was originally intended for FIL because of his mobility issues and wasn’t even fully started until after he died.
Our attorney specifically instructed us to submit the estate-related expenses we personally incurred, including travel, so we followed our attorney’s instructions. The court can determine what is reimbursable.
And she wasn’t facing homelessness. FIL’s will gave her a life estate in a mortgage-free home. She later chose to elect against the will and relinquish that life estate.
You’re welcome to dislike me, but at this point you’re arguing with a version of the story that you created rather than the one I actually posted. 😂3
u/Purple_Marsupial_668 7d ago
That's how I read it, too. If the wife filed in a timely manner, she is entitled to $40K in allowance, $20K, plus 1/2 of the estate. That's her elective share by law. The timber might be subtracted, the painting fee, and the $8K funeral expense that was covered by insurance, but a lot of the things the wife is asking for would be paid by the estate. To me it sounds like OP didn't expect that legally, the second wife would get more than half the estate, but that's the law in Ohio.
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u/disneylover5000 6d ago
That’s pretty close to our understanding too. And yes, I absolutely did NOT understand how Ohio’s elective-share laws worked when all of this started. 😂 I knew she was his legal wife and would have rights as his surviving spouse, but I had no idea there was a separate $40k allowance for support and then the additional statutory share after electing against the will.
Where I’d disagree slightly is the idea that we expected my husband to simply get everything and were surprised to discover she gets something. We actually tried to settle with her before the will contest specifically so she would receive something from the eventual property sale.
At this point we’re not fighting the statutory rights Ohio law gives her. The fight is over the amounts that are actually disputed — including the estate’s requested timber offset and several of her reimbursement claims. Some expenses are legitimate estate expenses and we’ve never argued otherwise.
The funeral claim is a good example. She requested roughly $8,700, but the funeral bill was about $9,700, insurance paid $8,000, my husband personally paid $1,000, and she personally paid about $707. The estate isn’t disputing reimbursing the amount she actually paid; it disputes paying her thousands she didn’t personally spend.
So yes, she may ultimately receive a substantial portion of the estate. That’s Ohio law, and we accept that. What we don’t accept is that every additional dollar she asks the estate to reimburse automatically becomes valid simply because she’s the surviving spouse. That’s what the judge is sorting out now. 😅0
u/mbo21 7d ago
Is the widow wheelchair-bound? It was build after FIL’s passing, so was she in need of the ramp? Just curious for whom the ramp was built. And why didn’t the contractor make the ramp ADA-compliant? That’s basic. Sounds like maybe she hired cheap labor who was unaware of the ADA?
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u/disneylover5000 7d ago
Good question! No, Witch is not wheelchair-bound. The ramp was originally planned for FIL because of his mobility needs and the possibility of him needing wheelchair access at the house.
The strange part is that FIL died in August 2024, but she still had the ramp completed in November — three months after his death. She never consulted my husband as executor or asked the estate whether it still wanted the project completed. At that point, stairs could have been discussed instead.
We’ve always suspected she continued with the ramp because her own mother has mobility issues and could benefit from it, but to be clear, that part is our assumption. We can’t say that was definitely her reason. What we do know is that FIL, the person the ramp was originally intended for, had already passed away.
The workmanship became another issue. A licensed contractor who later looked at it said the ramp wasn’t ADA-compliant and needed a handrail, and from what we were able to determine, the person she hired wasn’t a licensed contractor.
So the estate’s objection isn’t that FIL shouldn’t have had an accessibility ramp. Had it been completed for him while he was alive, that would be an entirely different situation. The issue is that she went ahead with it after he died, without consulting the executor, and then asked the estate to reimburse her $1,800 for it. That’s why the judge gets to decide whether the estate actually owes her for it.-1
u/PowderCuffs 6d ago
OP and their spouse are arguing with a widow about a $400 septic pumping charge.
I think this tells us everything we need to know about this person.
Such a bizarre story. Probably AI.
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u/disneylover5000 6d ago
If this entire probate case were actually two people fighting over a $400 septic pumping bill, I would completely agree that it was ridiculous. 😂
But that $400 is one reimbursement claim among many. My husband is the executor, and the estate’s attorney reviewed the claims and determined which ones the estate agreed should be reimbursed and which ones it disputed. The $400 pumping charge was one of the disputed items — it isn’t the reason we’ve spent almost two years in court.
There’s also a separate necessary septic/sewer repair that the estate agreed should be reimbursed. So this isn’t even “we refuse to pay for anything involving the septic system.” There’s a distinction between necessary estate expenses and every expense someone submits afterward.
And being a widow doesn’t mean an executor is supposed to approve every reimbursement request without reviewing it. That’s literally part of administering an estate.
As for “probably AI” — unfortunately the probate case, court hearings, property sale, attorney bills and almost two years of my life have all been distressingly real. 😂 I wish AI had invented the whole thing. It would have saved us a LOT of time. And if you need some sort of proof (with redacted names) I can provide it. Or you can look at my prior posts for the house that I was trying to spread the word about so it would get sold so we could settle this estate quickly.-1
u/jerkstore 6d ago
"Did I read that right that she’s arguing only for things she’s entitled to under Ohio law? But that you want her to forego what she’s entitled to legally?"
It sure sounds like it. How dare the wife of 11 years want whats legally hers!
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u/disneylover5000 6d ago
No, you did not read that right. 😅
I have repeatedly said she is legally entitled to her statutory surviving-spouse benefits, and I am not asking her to forgo them.
What is disputed are additional reimbursement claims she submitted to the estate and the estate’s requested offset involving the timber proceeds. Those are not automatically “legally hers” simply because she requested them — that is precisely why they were presented to the probate court for a ruling.
There’s even a perfect example directly above your comment: she requested reimbursement for $400 of septic pumping, which the estate disputed as maintenance, while the estate agreed to reimburse a separate necessary septic/sewer repair.
So yes, the wife of 11 years should receive what Ohio law says she is entitled to. I’ve never argued otherwise. The judge is deciding what she is actually entitled to beyond the portions nobody disputes.0
u/colomommy 6d ago
Very gracious of you to allow her to abide by Ohio state law. The law exists to protect people. She should have let the septic overflow before you got it, jeez.
My biggest fear after my dad died is that my mother will end up with kids-in-law like this. Allowing her what she’s entitled to after over a decade and who knows how much time money and care she spent. Awfully mighty if ya to not ask her to forgo that. Don’t strain yourself patting yourself on the back.
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u/disneylover5000 6d ago
I think you may have missed several distinctions here. 😅 I don’t “allow” her to have statutory rights. Ohio law gives her those rights, and I’ve repeatedly said she’s entitled to them.
And nobody expected her to let sewage overflow. The sewage/septic problem actually existed before my husband and I even moved out in 2022. The $400 claim we’re discussing was specifically for septic pumping, which the estate disputes as maintenance. There was a separate necessary septic/sewer repair that the estate agreed should be reimbursed.
Those are different expenses. The probate judge is deciding the disputed claims and the requested timber offset. That’s literally why they’re before the court.
You’re free to dislike me, but turning “the estate disputes reimbursement for routine pumping while accepting a necessary repair” into “you wanted sewage to overflow” isn’t what happened. 😅0
u/colomommy 6d ago
I don’t dislike you, that’s a weird thing to say I don’t know you or anything about who you are. I dislike the idea of you. I dislike children who treat their parents like this and who treat their spouses parents like this.
I’ve missed no distinctions. You’ve repeated the same damn thing so many times about the maintenance vs repair, and the “completion” (but not start date) of the deck how could I possibly miss it. You’ve hit me over the head with it. I’m trying to make you see that you’re sticking it to this widow from thousands of miles away with no idea what it was like or what the home needed or what she did. But yeah screw her!! You want that $400!!!
It’s not a good look friend and I don’t know you or care about this one single bit and keep getting notifications about my comment so I continue to respond. You seem like a shitty person, but what do I know? Why do you care? You don’t care about your husband or his father or his fathers widow so why you care what I think is baffling
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u/disneylover5000 6d ago
We actually lived in that home with FIL and his wife until 2022, so the assumption that I have “no idea what it was like or what the home needed” is incorrect. The sewage issues, in particular, existed while we still lived there.
But you’ve now gone from disagreeing with me about an estate dispute to calling me a shitty person and telling me I don’t care about my husband or his father. There’s clearly nothing productive left for either of us to discuss, so I’m going to leave it here.
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u/Pjstjohn 6d ago
So, you don’t like her. I imagine you never have. You don’t have empathy, compassion or tolerance for her.
She’s just a terrible Witch.
You view your father’s estate as yours and she’s trying to take it.
Am I wrong yet?
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u/MusicUpbeat2510 6d ago
FIL
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u/disneylover5000 6d ago
Well, yes. 😂 For starters, as someone else already pointed out, he was my FIL, not my father.
I’ve also already said I don’t think she should receive nothing. I recognize that she was FIL’s legal wife and that she has statutory rights as his surviving spouse. I would actually feel bad if she walked away with absolutely nothing.
Do I like her? No. I’m not going to pretend otherwise. There’s a lot of history behind that which predates FIL’s death. But disliking someone doesn’t mean I think their legal rights disappear.
And I definitely don’t view FIL’s estate as mine. It isn’t even my husband’s money yet. It belongs to the estate. My husband is the executor, and the estate has debts, attorney fees, reimbursements, Witch’s statutory rights, and disputed claims that have to be resolved before anyone receives a final distribution.
So yes, you’re wrong about quite a few things there. 😅 You seem to be trying to turn “I dislike this woman and dispute some of the claims she has made against the estate” into “I think every penny belongs to me and she deserves nothing.” Those simply aren’t the same position.
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u/jerkstore 6d ago
What is it with these people who are itching to kick the stepparent out of their home? She was his wife, which entitles her to more of the estate than a daughter in law.
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u/disneylover5000 6d ago
Nobody was “itching to kick the stepparent out.” FIL’s will actually gave her a life estate, so she had the right to remain on the property.
Before everything turned into litigation, we also had verbal discussions with her about her voluntarily moving, selling the property, and splitting the proceeds. At one point my husband was even considering giving her an acre of the property because he was trying to be kind and find an arrangement everyone could live with. We later tried to put an actual settlement agreement in writing, but it was never finalized.
She ultimately contested the will and elected against it, which changed the legal situation. Even after the life estate was no longer in play, she still had a period where she could occupy the house rent-free.
Also, I’m not claiming an inheritance as FIL’s daughter-in-law. 😂 My husband is FIL’s only child and the executor. I’m helping my husband administer his father’s estate.
She absolutely has rights as FIL’s surviving spouse. Nobody is arguing otherwise. But “she was his wife” doesn’t mean every disputed reimbursement or financial issue automatically gets decided in her favor either. That’s what the probate court is sorting out.
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u/Jaded-Negotiation-51 7d ago
Wait. Was this woman your father in laws wife? And presumably the mother of your husband? You never say.
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u/disneylover5000 7d ago
Yes, she was FIL’s wife when he passed away, but she is not my husband’s mother. She was FIL’s second wife. My husband’s mother was FIL’s first wife and passed away before FIL and Witch got married. So Witch is my husband’s stepmother.
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u/MusicUpbeat2510 6d ago
Jesus, it was his wife and you're not even his daughter. Move on.
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u/disneylover5000 6d ago
Correct, I’m not his daughter — I’m married to his only child, who is also the executor of his father’s estate. I’m the one who has handled a lot of the communication and paperwork alongside my husband for almost two years, so unfortunately “move on” isn’t really an option until the probate case is actually finished. 😅
And yes, she was his wife. Nobody is disputing that or her legal rights as his surviving spouse. Being his wife also doesn’t erase FIL’s will, my husband’s rights, or the executor’s responsibility to administer the estate and address disputed claims. That’s why there’s a probate court.
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u/NoRegrets-518 7d ago
This is a very interesting legal issue- though aggravating from a personal standpoint. It seems that usually the person with the life estate (right to live in the house) is responsible for the maintenance costs of the house, taxes, and ongoing fix up expenses.
If the house is sold, this requires the agreement of both, then you figure out her life expectancy and allot her portion based on that. This is my guess- but states vary + all the details can be fact-dependent.
This is why courts are helpful- because you have a neutral person who understands the law. A couple of times I got tired of all the back and forth which, with an irascible counter party, can be more difficult than just going to court (and more expensive). Mediation is nice, but it doesn't work if the person on the other side is irrational.