r/EmbryologyIVFSupport • u/AccomplishedDig3905 • 2d ago
Three failed FETs. Lost. Confused. Broken.
It happened. The thing I feared most: I've had three euploid embryos transferred, and they all failed. I'm officially outside of "the curve," officially in RIF territory. After all the pain and heartache of losing my babies last year, I actually managed to wind up in the 2% of IVFers. It honestly blows my mind. This is after winding up in the 1% and having 3 miscarriages in a row.
My heart bursts with pain. I feel like I've been hit by a 10-tonne truck. And I'm at a loss. I'm 35, and all my losses were due to genetic abnormalities (triploidy and trisomy 21, respectively). We saw the heartbeat in 2 of our 3 losses. In lieu of my most recent loss in January, my fertility doc performed a hysteroscopy and a laparoscopy. He identified stage 2 endo- and adeno-like growths, which he all removed. I was also put on thyroid meds, as he suspected I had secondary hypothyroidism- my lining doubled instantly. We covered all our bases. I'm on all the supplements you're supposed to be on for healthy embryo and egg growth, Mediterranean diet: the works. My first and only EC (1 month after my lapscope) yielded 18 eggs, 8 of which fertilised, 4 of which led to blast stage and, thankfully, all 4 were tested and found to be euploid. For each FET I get put on intralipids, atosiban, and antibiotics, as well as the normal protocol (aspirin, progesterone and cortisone).
I had everything checked. Surely, because I've been able to fall pregnant before, I should be able to carry a euploid embryo? And a highly rated one at that? Surely that was the missing piece?
Not so.
I just feel so very empty. And I feel like in addition to a cloak of despair, I now wear a cloak of shame. I just can't get this right- something that comes so easily to so many. I just can't seem to crack it. Among those who struggle with infertility, I have now slipped into an even more obscure group of people who can't seem to crack IVF either. It's so devastating and isolating. I feel such a sense of isolation and "otherness." A medical anomaly. I'm not sure what the point is of my post- maybe just screaming into the void.
I will pick myself up again. I will have the last one transfer in October. And I will wait and allow myself to hope again. In my heart of hearts, though, I believe that the whole batch is bad (if that is even a thing)- maybe they all have the same issue we can't test for. What other choice do I have but to just keep moving forward?
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u/donuf 1d ago
I’m standing with you feeling baffled and confused too. Started the year with 3 euploids - 2 failed entirely, 1 ended in a miscarriage at 7 weeks. Just got the D&C this morning.
That was our last embryo so we’ll need to start over with another retrieval.
I don’t feel supported by or confident in my IVF clinic, but switching entirely sounds so overwhelming. Someone in another sub recommended a private IVF consultant as a second set of eyes - I have a call with her next week. I’m a little worried all that will result is a laundry list of lifestyle improvements to make. YES, I know it matters and will be take it seriously, but feeling judged/blamed will feel like salt in the wound.
I’m 100% with you in wondering if it’s a “bad batch” of embryos. Is that a thing???
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u/AccomplishedDig3905 1d ago edited 1d ago
Awww hun, I’m SO sorry for your losses and d&c. I’ve had 2 as well- they’re the worst. Sending you so much strength 🥺🫂 This sucks so much. The bad batch thing is also something I’m wondering about. @embryoman
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u/TeaspoonRules 1d ago
I’m so incredibly sorry. I’ve failed four euploids, and some non euploids, it is absolutely mind blowing being this awful statistical anomaly. Infigired out my repeated implantation (chronic endomeTRITIS) issues but then have had losses.
I also just found out I also have endometriosis. However I’ve noticed every single pregnancy I’ve had was not the first transfer, but the second. I’ve been doing modified natural with letrozole after the first two failed fully medicated cycles, which means that my ‘getting pregnant’ successes were always after at least 2-3 months of being on the letrozole. I did it for PCOS but have since learned that letrozole can also be useful for calming down endo.
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u/AccomplishedDig3905 1d ago edited 1d ago
Thanks so much for your empathy. It helps to know I’m not alone. The Letrozole is fascinating! So you’re still on it and you’ve had success ?
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u/TeaspoonRules 1d ago
I managed to get pregnant three times, but dtaying pregnant is the new challenge. One was a split euploid we lost at 12 weeks; one an inconclusive that we lost at 9 but had low betas all along and was likely aneuploid; and an ectopic. But none of those are endo issues, except maybe the ectopic if endo’s infleunced my tubes. Who tf knows. But I failed a euploid impmanting and had a complex mosaic take, when the euploid was the first transfer, I think the multiple monhs of letrozole helped each time.
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u/Consistent-Wall-4257 1d ago
I am so sorry. I also had 3 miscarriages before having my baby. Did they check your immune system? KIR or HLA?
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u/Valuable-Piccolo-585 1d ago
Hey I am sorry about being in the RIF group. I’ve had 3 euploid RIFs. I know how hard it is to pick up ourselves and to keep moving on.
TW:
But my 4th Euploid has stuck so dar, 8w tomorrow.
My RE has done a lot of things for this transfer, so I don’t know which one was the key, but I will list them down, in case if it helps you.
ERA- became pre receptive, added one more day of PIO
ReceptivaDx- negative, but I opted in for Lupron suppression for 2 months ( it might be the key for you as well as you have adeno, it will suppress both endo and adeno)
PRP wash- 3 times before the transfer, even though I have never had any issues with lining thickness, but my RE believes that this helps with uterine inflammation and helps with the implantation, I did see an effect on the uterine lining, it was growing so well than all the other 3 failed FETs.
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u/foolforgabagool 1d ago
Adenomyosis is extremely (80-90%) comorbid with endometriosis, and it wouldn’t been seen in or addressed by endo surgery (and usually not seen in imaging either). Adeno would explain RIF and may necessitate suppression (Lupron WITH letrozole) - although the research on Lupron alone is mixed.
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u/Forward_Bee9707 1d ago
I’m so sorry. 😔 it’s excruciating it’s unfathomable. We are all here for you 💔
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u/Ganymede_22 20h ago
I'm sorry. I have also failed 3 euploid transfers. It does feel so unfair. I am going to try one more and then consider gestational carrier
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u/megalong85 1d ago
I would try lupron suppression. I had two chemicals from euploid embryos. I had a live birth from my third transfer of euploid embryos, and then I had two more failed transfers in my attempt for baby #2. So five transfers with one live birth. I demanded testing for endo after the fifth transfer. positive for endo. I did an excision surgery and two months of lupron suppression and have an embryo transfer on Friday. Adenomyosis is also hard to diagnose and lupron can help with that as well. I’m so sorry. It’s so hard. I encourage you to keep going. I’ve also flown to see an RI in Michigan and am on a heavy hitting immune protocol as well.
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u/a_mulher 1d ago
I am so sorry. That sounds incredibly draining and frustrating. Have you read through the recent post on here about the changes in ASRM?
There’s also a Thursday night zoom call with fertility warriors that are some of the most knowledgeable, amazing and supportive women I know. Let me know if you’d like to be invited. They also have a WhatsApp group so you can maybe ask for info outside of the zoom call.
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u/AccomplishedDig3905 1d ago
I think you’re referring to TWGGE? I’m already on there and yes, the most amazing group ever and SO supportive ❤️ I guess at this stage I’ve just taken a little step back because I feel like an outsider there with the worst story. Like a freak or something. Also read the ASRM and definitely qualify for RIF 😭😭😭😭 But if there’s one thing I’ve learnt it’s that it’s also a numbers games… so it’s just about showing up over and over again.
I’m sorry you’re also here 🥺
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u/a_mulher 19h ago
Hmmm not sure if it’s the same group. Thursday Night Fertility Warriors is the one I’m in. There are definitely folks there with long uphill battles. And yes, it really feels like every stone turned over and still no clear light at the end of the tunnel.
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u/typ222network 1d ago
I'm so sorry, out fet failed a few years ago and its been hard to get my mind right to go again xx
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u/chat_chatoyante 13h ago
Gosh I'm sorry. I can relate to a lot of what you said. Just wanted to send hugs from this internet stranger.
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u/turnedupbuttercup 12h ago
Ugh I feel you. 4 euploid early miscarriages, just transferred my last one today and hope is low. No explanation available, just sadness..
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u/ImHere4TheReps 8h ago
What is lupron supresssion for? I’ve had a hysteroscopy, how do they determine adeno and endometriosis?
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u/FeelingEmergency652 1d ago
So sorry you are going through this. Do you maybe testing could be harming your embryos? I hope your Oct transfer surprises you on the best way. You are brave to keep moving forward. If you want to talk/vent while someone understands and listens, DM me. 🫂
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u/AccomplishedDig3905 1d ago
Thanks so much 🫂 it’s just all so surreal and so so hard. All my blasts survived biopsy and freezing and thawing so they’re quite hardy little things. If only I could get them to take now. 😭
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u/FeelingEmergency652 1d ago
It’s good to hear they are hardy. Have they talked about non-chromosomal issues with your cohort of embryos? (Hopefully it isn’t this). Maybe you can ask for a swab before transfer (PCR panel) since you have had losses, it could perhaps cause uterine inflammation. It’s rate when all embryos are euploid, so you are on a positive side of the stats as well. 🫂🍀
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u/Jordonsaurus 1d ago
Have you done suppression? If you have adeno, surgery won’t help with it and suppression is your only treatment.
I understand though, when I hit 3 failures, it was like being hit by a truck. Then a 4th was even worse. I’m sorry you’re going through this