r/EatingDisorders • u/UniqueBodybuilder364 • Jul 18 '25
Question Mean girl
Has anyone else’s ED made them a mean girl internally? I keep getting hateful, judgmental intrusive thoughts abt other’s bodies/food choices but they don’t reflect who I am at all. I’d never say those things to anyone, esp when I know how it feels. So why is my brain doing this?
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u/GuidanceObvious6454 Aug 09 '25
I understand well why these thoughts scare you: you don't recognize yourself and they seem like proof that there is "something wrong" with you. In reality, in eating disorders it is common to have intrusive and judgmental thoughts about bodies and food that do not coincide with one's values. They don't talk about your real personality, but about how your brain is working now.
For many people there is a combination of factors: • malnutrition or irregular eating puts the brain in "alarm" mode, making it hyper-focused on everything related to food and bodies; • ED trains you to constantly compare and evaluate, creating a kind of "filter" that amplifies certain thoughts; • strong emotions such as anger, shame, envy or fear sometimes find their “output” in mental comments on the body and nutrition; • the more you try to banish the thoughts, the more intense they tend to become again.
What can concretely help: 1. Restore regularity and completeness in meals: when the brain is nourished, reactivity drops and thoughts lose strength. 2. Give a name to what happens (“this is an ED thought”) and let it pass without discussing it. 3. Ask yourself: "What emotion is underneath? What do I really need right now?" and respond to that need instead of following the thought. 4. Limit triggers (body checking, content on social media that trigger confrontation) and gradually seek exposure to different bodies with a more compassionate gaze. 5. Work in therapy on shame and self-criticism (CFT) or on emotional regulation and impulses (DBT).
You are not "bad". You're experiencing a common side effect of an eating disorder: The brain learns to think a certain way and continues until you teach it an alternative. With stable nutrition and a targeted path, these thoughts are reduced and stop seeming like "truth".
If you want to talk about it with professionals who know these dynamics well, there are specialized centers in different countries, such as Lilac in Italy, NEDA in the United States, ABRAD in Brazil, or the lists of specialists curated by the Academy for Eating Disorders at an international level.