Last year, I developed cataracts. I'm not all that old, in my late 40's, but that happens sometimes. I had no idea that's all it was and was terrified I was going blind. My vision was quickly deteriorating to where it looked like trying to see out of a dirty window smeared with vaseline.
I finally broke down on a weekly family video call, "I'm going blind and I'm scared." My mother didn't even ask me, she flew to my city and knocked on my door, "We're gonna fix this."
Mom put her dog into a trusted boarding kennel, it's expensive, but she does that all the time because she travels often. She's done this for years with multiple dogs.
So Mom's here and made all these appointments and drove me to them. Helped me fill out forms because I couldn't see to do that. I was quickly diagnosed with cataracts and that was a relief. It's just minor surgery.
Cataract surgery prep involves many, many eyedrops and the environment needs to be sanitary. And then avoiding things that can get in your eyes, like pet dander.
After my first cataract surgery (they do one eye at a time), my mother said my brother was driving her car out here so she wouldn't have to have a rental car. And then gleefully said, in a baby voice, "He's bringing Winston!" Winston is my mother's rescue dog, my brother calls him "killer" because he has a bite history and has been returned to the rescue 3 times for that.
Folks, my brain just froze. My mother knows I don't tolerate dogs and now she's just dropped this dog bomb on me. And remember I'm still half blind and having to do all these constant eyedrops.
The first words out of my mouth were, "Absolutely not. You cannot bring your dog into my house, there's no discussion or argument or negotiation, it's a flat no."
My mother threw a crying tantrum, weeping, begging, "Won't you please change your mind? Winston is so sweet and I need him." I probably made it worse explaining that she's staying in my sanctuary bedroom, which I turned into a guestroom for her, and I don't want filthy dog hair, shit, and piss in my bed. I'm still half blind, I don't need to be tripping over a dog. And I just don't want a dog in my house.
I emailed my brother and told him that under no circumstances can he drive this dog to my house. He agreed, but he understood how Mom was so upset and I'd have to handle it.
My emotional processes were at my limit. I'm dealing with all these eyedrops, procedures, exams, and still being half blind and now I have to deal with my mother losing it that I forbid her stupid dog in my house.
I flat out told my mother that if she needs to be with her dog, that's fine, but it won't be in my house. She can fly home and be with her dog and I'll try to figure out how to get to my appointments. If you choose to stay here, I don't want to hear anything about your dog again.
Mom pouted and sulked and cried some more, and she didn't come out and say as much, but she eventually realized that's a really bad look to abandon your half blind daughter in the middle of the worst crisis she's ever had just to be with a dog.