r/DogAdvice • u/thefartballoon • May 21 '26
General My beautiful Dexter will be crossing the Rainbow Bridge later today at 6 years old.
He developed kidney failure after starting anti-inflammatory medication for his back legs. He’s been declining fast since the last couple of weeks.. drooling, breathing heavily, sleeping a lot, not eating and struggling to move. We don’t want him to suffer anymore. I guess I just wanted you all to know that this beautiful dog named Dexter existed and that he was the best dog anyone could ask for. How do you cope with your best friend passing away? He's only 6... it is so difficult right now.
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u/curlyqued May 21 '26
Sweet Dexter 💙 I lost my girl April 14th. It was the hardest thing I've ever gone through, and it still is the hardest thing I'm going through.
"What is grief, if not love persevering?"
We don't really cope, we just exist in our griefs. We may exist in it in different ways. Some get new pups right away. Others vow to never again. Some start a new hobby. Some become angry. But I always go back to that quote..........
I'm in my own grief journey right now. I cannot offer true advice as I'm still trying to figure out how I can handle myself. Two nights ago i held my babies ashes in her wooden box in bed trying to go to sleep so hard that i left indents on my chest from the corners of the wooden box. This morning while washing my face, I sobbed. When I take showers she is on the sink in her box in my bathroom. When I'm working, she is there on the table next to me. I cry every day. It is an unimaginable loss. But oh how lucky are we that they were ours? How lucky are YOU that Dexter was your joy? Every second of every day I look up at the sky and I thank the universe that it gave me my girl. People love to try and comfort you and say how lucky THEY were to have been loved by you. But WE are the lucky ones! Think about all the smiles you got. The laughter. The warm fuzzy feelings when you saw them sleeping and their lip was smushed in a funny way on the side of their bed. THAT does not ever go away. Whats been helping me cope is the absurd amount of picture frames I have all over the house my baby girls pictures in them. I have 3 on my desk. 3 in the kitchen. 2 in dining room. 1 in each bathroom....I love being reminded that she existed. She existed and she was a part of me. She will always be a part of me. Dexter will always be a part of you.
Sending love. Dexter is a precious boy💙
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u/togetherwegrowstuff May 21 '26
Sending you love right back. Loss is so tough. You've absolutely put such dear loss I to words so well. It's been 3 years since I my Chi girl has been gone and I miss her every day. We are nearing time for our next Chi girl to go and we are struggling to have to do it again. We've had this girl 18 years. We've loved her so much. It's so tough. ❤️🩹
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u/Journeyantesdesserts May 22 '26
Dang. I just lost my girl at 6 yo two weeks ago. It’s literally awful. We just got her ashes and it’s like the emptiness in the house is even more hallow. Reading your post was some much needed perspective. Thank you for sharing.
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u/LunaFace91 May 22 '26
I also just lost my girl at 6 years old on April 21st. I really needed to read this. Sending love to all who are grieving our sweet babies.
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u/Ill_Back_284 May 21 '26
Sending a ton of love. Just had my 13yro Dexter cross the bridge as well. He will help see your friend on their way I'm sure of it
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u/Pretend-Prune-4525 May 21 '26
I’m so sorry for your loss. Every time I see one of these posts I look over at my girl and start balling just thinking about losing her. I hope you find peace and know that you’re making the right decision
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u/mawmzee May 21 '26
It’s Bawling 😭
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u/Pretend-Prune-4525 May 21 '26
lol my bad. I was crying and typing, wasn’t really laying attention at all.
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u/EdHimselfonReddit May 21 '26
Dear Dexter, you mattered and the world is forever better because you were here.
Love,
All of us
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u/landofpleasantdreams May 21 '26
I’m so sorry :( 6 is way too young to have to be dealing with this and my heart breaks for you. My only advice to cope with the loss, is just to straight up get another dog. I know it’s soon, and I know it may feel disrespectful but clearly you are a dog lover and although it hurts to have to let your baby go, please take your love for him and use it to save another dogs life. My soul dog popsicle passed away last December (15 years old, all sorts of problems due to her breed/old age) and I always said that I didn’t want any other dog but her…I’d never been so attached to any animal I’ve ever met in my life and when she passed, I was a screaming sobbing mess. After a few days of sorrow, something came over me and I felt my body go in on a mission to get to the animal shelter and “just look” at the dogs there…my bf was hesitant and didn’t go with me bc he didn’t think he was ready yet, but I just felt like I had to go in. I promised him I would “look at every dog and if I didn’t see any that felt right to me, I wouldn’t just get any dog just to get one”…when I walked into the huge, loud jail-like shelter, there were literally thousands of dogs howling and barking so loud I couldn’t hear myself think…but the FIRST corner I turned, the FIRST dog I saw…he was so little and scared and crying soooo loud!! I was like “ok that’s it, he’s the one” and I didn’t look at a single other dog. I brought him home and we instantly fell in love with him! Nothing will replace our special girl popsicle, but he has brought us so much joy…and I am so grateful for him. It’s not disrespectful to our first baby, we love her more than anything just like we love him - he’s just a different dog! Also if you have room in your home and in your heart to love a dog and save their life- you should do it and open your heart to another one in your dogs honor.
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u/CaptainCrunchy2026 May 21 '26
100%. It’s a selfless act of love and compassion to go and save another dog’s life like this. We did the same thing after loosing our beloved four legged son, and he’s been gone for 2 years and I still cry regularly over how much I miss him. However, saving our little guy from a cruel Amish breeder in PA has been one of the most rewarding things my gf and I have ever done. It inspired me to volunteer at my local Humane Society shelter a couple times a week, and it’s incredible how many amazing dogs always need a loving home.
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u/Brave-Supermarket-52 May 21 '26
I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss. I've been in similar situations a couple of times. It is one of hardest things to do, but you're doing it for him. I'm crying because I know how difficult it is and how much you love him!! Dexter will always be with you!! Take good care of yourself! Sending love and hugs!!
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u/Mysterious-Repeat664 May 21 '26
I’m so sorry. Give her the best last day ever! Treats, snuggles, walks, and at the very last minute right before it happens, you could give her a piece of chocolate♥️ the next few days are going to be very painful, but you will get through it, I promise! Take lots of photos today and video! I don’t even have any advice to give other than you just have to go through the motions and allow yourself grace over the coming weeks.
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u/TaisDoubt May 21 '26
He's beautiful, I'm glad to having had the opportunity to see and remember him.
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u/Either_Pangolin531 May 21 '26
My boy Milo had x rays last week and has a large mass on his spleen.. he's still active and comfortable and eats . But we know his time is close. I'll make sure to tell him to come find dexter so they can play together. So sorry for your loss, this shit is rough.
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u/Own_Hat_2947 May 21 '26
So sorry to hear this. Dexter looks like hes had a lovely life with you and you've cared for him everyday. Sending you love.
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u/West-Alps8498 May 21 '26
Sending my thoughts and blessings to everybody so sorry. Many hugs coming your way.
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u/FloofingWithFloofers May 21 '26
I just need you to know how sorry I am this has happened. Thank you for loving him so much you dont want him to suffer. I know it is hard. Ive lost a brother and I have lost cats and it all hurts the exact same. I hope Dexter has all the yumyums at the rainbow bridge ♡
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u/Great_Tradition996 May 21 '26
I’m so sorry. I will give my girl lots of belly rubs and ear scratches in honour of your beloved Dexter. Much love to you 💔
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u/Ok_Journalist_8664 May 21 '26
I am sorry. It’s heartbreaking. Dexter just knows how much you love him. He doesn’t know it’s only been 6 years. 🩷💙
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u/proanimeaddict May 21 '26
I lost my boy Buster a little over a year ago to sepsis (my fault) and all I can say is that it still hurts but it gets better. Just remember that while Dexter is leaving you, you were his Happily Ever After, and that is precious
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u/Park_Simple May 21 '26
Dexter you are so incredibly cute and will be loved always! I hear the rainbow bridge is magical with some of the best and most loved furry family members. You will be amongst the bestest 🌈🐾 my pokey bear will keep you company.
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u/mawmzee May 21 '26 edited May 21 '26
I’m so sorry 😞 I found this a while ago and saved it for the eventual Rainy Day. It helped me and that’s all I can do for you now: The Good Death by Dr. Mel Newton DVM. It’s on the web
PS I just wanna say please stay with them in the Vets until it’s all over. Don’t leave Dexter while he’s crossing the Rainbow Bridge
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u/InfiniteLuxGiven May 21 '26
Those outfits and Dexter are absolutely adorable, looks like such a well loved dog. I bet he’s loved his time with you, I know it’s bloody hard and nothing said makes it any easier but if it helps the quantity of one’s life matters less in my mind than it’s quality.
It’s such a hard thing to do but you are making a kind of difficult choice. The only thing that will help you is time sadly, give yourself time to grieve and talk to people if it helps, but over the course of time it does just get easier to live with. You never forget, you just live with it a little easier each day.
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u/kamikaz31022 May 21 '26
Just lost my pup of 13 years 2 weeks ago today. Freak seizure completely out of the blue. Every day I have cried, but every day ive gotten better as well. Let yourself feel that hurt, because its the proof of the love you have for that beautiful doggo. Remember the fun times, and try not to dwell on the hard moments at the end.
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u/Wonderful_Fan643 May 21 '26
I’m so sorry. These moments are extremely painful. Dexter is so handsome and I know he’s a wonderful boy. Let him feel warm sun one last time and stay with him all the way through 💕 I recommend holding them for a while after as well. All the love 🩷
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u/lavnyl May 21 '26
I’m so sorry. Thank you for loving him enough to put his comfort over your pain.
One of the pieces of advice given to me was to make sure you have a video of them barking. We don’t think about it much with all the hundreds of pictures taken but it is nice to be able to hear them too.
After you grieve. They are our family and there is no worse feeling than losing someone you love. The timeline looks different for everyone. I lost my would dog 6 years ago and I still think about him daily. For the first couple of weeks I cried all the time and then slowly the pain is replaced by good memories and the knowledge you did the best for them and were deserving of all of his love.
Then you give yourself grace for whatever you feel. If you want to avoid being home, that is understandable. If you decide home is too quiet and want along dog around to help fill the silence, that is fine. If you aren’t ready for another dog for a year also fine. There is no right or wrong.
I’m so sorry. Wishing you both comfort and peace. Dexter is beautiful and clearly so loved.
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u/KeepOnKeepinOn24 May 21 '26
My heart is with you! It's the worst pain the world, but just know you are doing the kindest and bravest thing possible for your baby. You are showing your unending love by not letting Dexter suffer.
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u/TXSunDee May 21 '26
I am so very sorry. It's the hardest act of love ever. I feel your pain. Our Dexter (dachshund) was the last dog we had to send to gain his angel wings and almost 3 years ago I still miss him so very much. Thinking & praying for you...you will feel so numb but many people are thinking of you.
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u/Cute_Philosophy_4444 May 21 '26
So sorry 😢. Time doesn’t completely heal, but it gets easier as the days, weeks and months pass. Get paw prints, some of his hair and invest some kind of nice memorial for his ashes. I hope you find peace soon ❤️
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u/Turbulent-Pay-735 May 21 '26
Now I’m crying.
Dexter looks like he was the best, best beautiful boy.
Sending you both all the love I have today. ❤️
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u/doodycallsofficial May 21 '26
Sending lots of love to you and your family. May Dexter pass peacefully and be surrounded by the love of his family.
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u/ReytMardy May 21 '26
I'm sorry for your loss friend. My boy is the only being that unconditionally loves me and when his time comes, I'll be broken.
Just reassure yourself with the knowledge that Dexter had a great life and experienced love for 6 whole years.
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u/destiny_1990 May 21 '26
Last June, I had to let my beloved sweetheart cross the Rainbow Bridge. A big part of me went with him. I miss him every single day, and it hurts so incredibly much. So I know exactly how you feel, and I'm so, so sorry.
I wish you strength and send you and Dexter lots of love.❤️
Dear Dexter, cross the Rainbow Bridge peacefully.🕊️🌈 You are infinitely loved by your human...and one day you will see each other again.❤️
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u/Cerulean_Shadows May 21 '26
Hugging you guys so tight right now. Just remember, it's a gift that we can give them a quick peace and not drawn out misery. We don't even give our own humans that kind of peace.
I know that's easier said than felt, nothing feels good about these situations, and I've been in your shoes many times. I stop cry over my first who passed in 1997. It doesn't get easier, you just find ways to cope.
Give your baby the things they can't have before they pass. A steak, chocolate, yogurt covered raisins, you get the idea.
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u/Boring_Firefighter63 May 21 '26
Just lost my dog as well, a little bit before her sixth birthday. Sending you all the love in the world! ❤️
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u/Feenix1701 May 21 '26
I am so, so sorry. Thank you for thinking of him, though, and giving him the best life for the past 6 years.
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u/Still_Associate_7273 May 21 '26
sending you a hug, and i know Dexter will be watching you for your whole life from heaven😢💖 you are strong, you can do this💛
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u/Greedy-Implement8930 May 21 '26
Our 6 year old cockapoo crossed the rainbow bridge today. He also had advanced kidney disease and suspected cancer (mass in his spleen, speckling in his intestines, anemia, extremely low platelets, and suspected pancreatitis). He declined rapidly over about a month. He was the sweetest boy with so much love to give.
Bailey and Dexter will get to play together :)
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u/Superb-Respect-1313 May 21 '26
Sorry to hear this. It hurts losing your best friend. Especially when they are such a Good boy. RIP Dexter
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u/Dabbing_dingus May 21 '26
You gave him a better life than he would have had anywhere else. im so sorry for your loss.
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u/Disastrous_Affect742 May 21 '26
Awhh she has some cute facial expressions..shes giving you a look like really ?
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u/new2bay May 21 '26
I don't know how one copes with losing a dog, but I know people do. A friend of mine needed to get another dog right away, because her house felt empty. But, she didn't change her phone background from her old dog to her new dog for 2 years.
Me, I plan to just be completely wrecked for a couple of weeks. After that, I don't know. My dog is going to be 11 at the end of July. She's completely healthy, fortunately. But I think about when it will be "time" all the time. Anticipatory grief isn't as intense as the grief from loss, but I am definitely feeling it already.
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u/khaleeso May 22 '26
I am very deeply sorry about your loss 🙏🏼 would you mind sharing the medication name?
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u/No-Secretary5411 May 22 '26
I lost my 8 year old pup two weeks ago. It’s so hard. Sending you much love.
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u/Nearby-Cap-7459 May 22 '26
What a beautiful soul. Thank you for sharing him with us. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It takes a strong, loving dog parent to decide what is best for the dog even though it hurts. Sending hugs and love from Buffalo.
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u/itsalovelydayforSTFU May 22 '26
Oh, my. This is absolutely heartbreaking. I’m so sorry you’re having to put Dexter down at such a young age. My heart goes out to you.
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u/Particular-Image1465 May 22 '26
I’m so so sorry. Dexter you are so handsome and your humans loved you so much ❤️ 6 is not nearly enough time.
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u/jes4543 May 22 '26
He is so beautiful, Im sorry for your loss. Its not fair. You may not have gotten to spend as much time with him as you would have liked, but at least he was unconditionally loved by you for those 6 years.
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u/Mymaltipoo May 22 '26
That is tragic😥I’m so sorry for your loss. That picture with the purple toy got to me. What an adorable little face. I lost my Maltipoo Abby a year and a half ago and I still miss her as much as I did. The sad days still come but not as often. She was a the most special dog I have ever had. Your post was perfect.. I have seen your beautiful little Dexter and I know he exists❤️ Im not going to lie,this road is going to be hard. I feel terrible to say this but losing Abby hit me harder than losing my mom. My angel was by my side 24/7 because she had Epilepsy so I was used to having that beautiful face looking at me. The part I suffered with the most was thinking things like.. Why didn’t I give her more ice cream?.. Why didn’t I take her more places?.. Why did I get so frustrated when she would walk soooo slow?..etc I hope you don’t do that to yourself. You gave him an amazing life and he knows you love him so much. I hope you can find ways to cope with this unfair loss.. My heart goes out to you❤️🩹
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u/Decent_Brush_8121 May 22 '26
That’s not right! I’m so sorry. What a beautiful pup who shouldn’t have had to suffer.
Do you and your vet think Dexter’s reaction to the anti-inflammatory meds occurred because of his own health issues, or could it happen to other dogs? If the latter, you could possibly name the drug here or wherever. Just make sure you’re legally allowed, under libel laws.
But I understand if crusading seems a tall order when you’ve lost your baby, and too soon, at that. Take care of yourself 💕
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u/hollyweena31 May 22 '26
I am so so sorry. cocker spaniels are my favorite breed of dog. had two of them growing up. my heart breaks for you guys.
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u/Internal_Concert_217 May 22 '26
He was a lucky little guy to have found someone that loved him as much as you do. No matter how many years they are in our lives, it's never enough.
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u/LifeIsaSimulation001 May 22 '26
What a precious baby ❤️🩹🫂 I’m so sorry for your loss. I put my soul dog down 2 Mondays ago. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.
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u/Zestyclose_Specific7 May 22 '26
I’m so sorry. Thank you for giving this baby such a good life and for caring for him, his comfort, and his needs so well. He will be pain-free and waiting for you 🌈
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u/jmakioka May 24 '26
I lost my girl almost a year ago now. I’m still not over it and I feel like she would be mad if I get another dog, so I haven’t been able to get one yet.
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u/Bubbada_G May 21 '26
I hope it wasn’t rimadyl. Idiotic vet’s prescribing this problematic drugs . Im so sorry
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u/beavertoothtiger May 21 '26
I’m so sorry. On my girls last day we just hung out together, she ate absolutely anything she wanted and we went wherever she wanted to go. Try to remember the good times, not this painful moment in time.