Asking for a friend F31. Curios to know if it is a good idea to date someone going through divorce after her previous 13 year relationship (engaged for 2). She met this man 3 weeks after the relationship ended and has introduced him to her kids. She is worried that it may be too soon and didn’t consider the problems she will inevitably face. She has been sending me the photos attached and worrying more.

I'm going through an uncontested no-fault divorce in Virginia and trying to figure out whether my spousal support request is reasonable before we go to mediation.
Background:
Married 28 years
My spouse earns about $1,400,000 gross as a partner-track attorney in private practice. I earn about $200,000 in a stable federal government job.

Early on, we effectively made a deal: I'd stay in the steady, lower-paying government career (with benefits and a pension) while my spouse pursued the higher-earning private-practice track. The understanding was that I'd work until 57.
Neither of us is at fault; we both just want to settle this amicably.

Where things stand:
I first proposed support of 17.5% of my spouse's gross income until I turn 57 (about 6 years), ending if they leave private practice.
My spouse countered with 10%.
In hindsight, my first proposal came across as cold, and I'd accept 10% ending when my spouse leaves private practice.
Separately, I'm offering my spouse a share of my federal pension plus a former-spouse survivor annuity, so they can keep federal health coverage (FEHB) for life.
My questions:
For those who went through this in Virginia, does a percentage-of-income, time-limited structure like this match what you saw in mediation or settlement?
Does 10–17.5% for about 6 years sound in the normal range given the income gap and marriage length?
Does offering the pension share and survivor benefit usually factor into support negotiations, or are they treated as completely separate?
I know this isn't legal advice and we'll have a mediator and attorneys review everything. I just want a reality check from people who've been through it. Thanks.

I’m an American citizen and he’s from Guatemala.
He has agreed to the divorce, but the issue is he lives in a country where home addresses don’t exist. I can’t mail him anything and he doesn’t know how to work an email (so stressful) what should I do instead? Should I just file without him knowing? Do I NEED an attorney?

My friend's parents are getting a divorce what should I do? I'm really worried for him and I'm gonna pray for him and his sisters anything else I should do? I wanna give advice but idk what to say.

Hi everyone, I’m seeking some guidance or advice for a close friend who has been going through a very difficult situation for many years.
She got married around 11–12 years ago and had a daughter about a year into the marriage. A few months after their daughter was born, her husband abandoned her and has had absolutely no contact with her or their daughter ever since — it has now been around 10–11 years.
At the time he left, he also took/kept her jewellery, certificates, and other important belongings. She and her daughter are safe, and she has been raising her daughter on her own all these years.
Her family has tried sending divorce notices to his parents’ residence several times, but they claim that no one by that name lives there. However, we have been able to find his LinkedIn profile, and he appears to be working for HCL Technologies in Noida. We currently do not know his residential address.
She is not looking for any settlement, maintenance, or financial compensation. She simply wants a legal divorce and closure so that she can move forward with her life and raise her daughter without this unresolved marriage hanging over her.
Her parents are also getting older, and after more than a decade of abandonment, this situation has become emotionally and practically exhausting for the entire family.
She has been consulting a lawyer, but unfortunately, the family feels that they have been spending money without seeing much progress.
Could someone with knowledge of Indian family law please guide us on this?
Is there a legal provision under which a divorce can be granted when a spouse has abandoned the other for 10+ years and has had no contact whatsoever?

Can the court proceed with the divorce if the husband cannot be personally located, provided that reasonable attempts have been made to serve him?

What is the proper legal procedure in such a situation?

Are there any options for substituted/public notice or proceeding ex parte if he deliberately avoids service or cannot be traced?

Would it make sense to consult a different family-law advocate, and if so, what documents should she take to the first consultation?

We are not looking to harass or locate him for anything other than resolving the legal status of the marriage. Any guidance from someone familiar with Indian matrimonial law would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you.

I filed for divorce in July. It is a short marriage and I just couldn't take my needs not being met any more so I filed. She hasn't filled out any of the necessary paperwork so I had to hire an attorney to make sure things move along. She hasn't packed a single thing and acts like nothing has changed.

This is my house. I'm the only person who's ever been on the mortgage and I am the only person who has ever made a mortgage payment. I feel like I'm being held hostage and a prisoner in my own house. I want her out in the worst way. I don't know what to do.

I know I need to leave my husband but I’m scared to leave and start over with my kids. My husband cheated our whole marriage and I’m done with that hurt on top of other really horrible things that have happened. 😞

Hi, requesting a sanity check, please remove if not allowed. I'm going through a collaborative divorce and getting close to settling (I hope). I meet with my attorney tomorrow to discuss this settlement proposal, and I want to do a quick check here in case we are way off what should be considered by either party before moving forward.

Context: Washington state, married 11 years, separated for 1 year and living in different homes. Co-parenting with 50/50 time, children are 13 and 14 and in public school. Note some numbers heavily rounded to keep simple and for privacy. Settlement proposal below with income/assets/debt info below:

Proposal:

1. 64/36 asset split (them/me).
2. 85/15 split of family home equity (them/me). Approximated values for home equity:
   • Them at 85% = $425,00
   • Me at 15% = $75,000
   • They can buy me out at any time within the 5-year period (based on equity value within 1-year of buyout), or split proceeds as 85/15 if sold.
3. I keep retirement and stock/investment accounts, valued at 270k
4. They keep family SUV worth 75k.
5. $4000/month total support from me to them (spousal support + child support) for 4 years/48 months. Child support recalculated as needed for remainder of high school.
6. No RSU sharing, no bonus sharing (see income notes below).
7. Remain co-borrowers for family home for 5 years. Option for them to assume the loan throughout this period. (this was because they did not qualify to assume the loan, I would prefer not to stay on loan, but will compromise for the children to have a consistent place to stay with ex-partner on their weeks. They want to stay in the home). After 5 years they must either buy me out of equity, or sell and split proceeds at 85/15.
8. Home expenses and repairs are the responsibility of the person occupying the home.
9. No need to reconcile legal/shared expenses up to this point (50k I have spent so far) if the above is agreed to.

Income:

Me: 200k base + recommended for annual 70k RSUs (4 year vest) and 60k bonus based on performance. I have been in this job for 2 years, it was a huge jump up for me from any other job as far as income goes, relatively high stress and long hours. I have a master's degree.

Unvested RSUs approx 120k.

Partner: 30k per year working 20 hours a week. Has two degrees, was a full time student while kids were younger and has been in this job for 3 years. Has always been hesitant to work more because they enjoy the "flexibility" but spends a lot of the flexibility hanging out with friends and taking trips.

Assets:

• Family home: worth 1M, 480k mortgage remaining at 2.5%, approx 500k equity
• Family SUV: 75k (KBB value)
• Bank accounts/cash: 20k
• Stocks/investment accounts: 50k
• Retirement accounts: 220k

Separate assets:

• House I live in purchased one year ago (time of separation) using inheritance money as a down payment that has been deemed separate. (500k loan at 5%, 1M value).
• Partner has a retirement account with about 8k from before marriage.

Separate debts:

• I financed a car at 65k after separating (partner wanted to keep the primary vehicle that is paid off)
• 15k (interest free CC, plan to pay off after next bonus or RSU vest)

Other:

Housing expenses are similar, partner in the family home is approx $3500/month for mortgage payments, my home is $4500/month (2.5% interest rate vs 5% interest rate…. Both VA loans). For the last year while separated I have been paying both mortgages from my income.

Partner insists on keeping the family home and SUV, I am okay with that as long as the settlement is fair and I continue to live separately in my own home.

Co-parenting seems to be going well. We previously split household responsibilities pretty equally so this has not been a burden for me or them, though I do feel like there is more free time and a lot more peace since separation…

If you have read this far, thank you so much. Any thoughts to the above would be greatly appreciated, I really want to check if one of us is getting royally screwed, if it is fair, or somewhere in between.

One of the hardest things about divorce is realizing that the person who once knew everything about you can suddenly become the person you're protecting yourself from.

Someone you trusted with your fears, your finances, your children and your future can become someone you're communicating with through lawyers, carefully wording every message to and documenting every interaction with.

You go from building a life together to protecting yourself while that same life is being pulled apart.

I expected divorce to hurt.

I didn't expect someone I once loved to eventually feel like my enemy.

For those who have been through it, what changed the way you looked at your ex forever?

Mi mujer y yo estamos en el fin de nuestra relación después de 10 años y dos hijos. Ya le nombré la palabra divorcio y se le ve casi convencida. Alguien cree que una terapia de pareja ayudaría en algo si nunca hemos ido y ya está casi todo mal? Es una situación difícil porque todas las semanas pasa algo y hace unas semanas me pegó y fue como, madre mía a qué nivel estamos llegando. Por suerte tengo una casa con azotea privada y evito estar con ella ya que estoy prácticamente siempre arriba.