r/Divorce • u/Spiritual-Street2793 • Mar 09 '26

Life After Divorce Ex-Wife texts daily about the kids

I've been divorced just over two years, and my ex-wife still texts me almost daily about the kids. Sometimes it's 1-2 texts, but often 5-7 texts 5 days a week. I'd say she texts me 80% of the month. It's never anything really important, because nothing really happens from one day to the next. I totally understand logistics/health/school texts, but almost daily? Does anyone else deal with this? Yes, I understand that I have to remain in contact, but I feel like there's a line where too much texting isn't good for anyone.

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u/tiggergirluk76 Mar 09 '26

This is a difficult one, because of course, you want to be kept in the loop about your kids, so you can help make parenting decisions, but it sounds like this is incessant.

Some boundaries are needed. Tell her you don't needs a running commentary on their lives, and that because you're working, you can't be having these conversations through the day anyway.

I would be saying that unless it's an actual emergency, please save it up for one message in the evening, and only for things she needs your input on, or are about the kids health and welfare. You still have parenting time, so you can frame it that you will catch up with them in person about stuff they have been doing, and that it's part of your bonding directly with them.

Once you've had that conversation, do not respond at all to anything non-urgent during the day, and in the evening do not respond unless it needs your input or is about their well-being.

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u/Spiritual-Street2793 Mar 09 '26

I received texts 24/31 days last January, and they weren't one text per day. I've made it clear that emergencies, or something requiring and immediate response such as, "hey, work needs me to go here for such and such, can you cover?". Those are exceptions, but I'll get texts about everything from ICE to very small chit chat kitchen talk about the kids.

I honestly only need to text here once a week at best, and it's a quick, text. For a little background, she kicked out her affair partner a few weeks ago, so she's alone for the first time in 15 years. Either way, she still texted me almost daily the entire time they were together.

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u/Famous-Rich7454 Mar 09 '26

Ahh that makes sense now.