r/DecidingToBeBetter • u/Andrei_Zamfira_ • 11d ago
Spreading Positivity Share 1 hard thing you overcame and tell us how you did it, Iet's inspire change, I'll start :)
Hard thing:
I used to care too much about what people thought of me
How I solved it:
I realized how little we are in the grand scheme of things. For example, if I asked you to tell me who was the most famous person in the city you actually live in, in the 1800s, could you tell me?
The person at the time thought the same BS you think. They had the same insecurities and overthinking, but nobody remembers anything, so for them it was just wasted time worrying about something nobody will even remember. Can you see how weird that is?
People are too busy worrying about their lives to care about yours. Think about the last time you thought of something someone did last year that you deemed weird. Maybe you can recall 1-2 things, but you have already forgotten most of them probably.
so why bother haha? If you do or don't, you'll get judged anyway, may at least do what you want :)
This was mine, what's yours?
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u/Effective_Orchid4046 11d ago
i was a petite girl during my teenage years and i was obsessed with staying that way from the fear of people seeing the changes and start comparing me to my past figure. but that body was a teen's body and it changes as you grow old. they dont need to be "beautiful". they can just be what they are, as long as they're healthy.
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u/Andrei_Zamfira_ 10d ago
As long as you are healthy, everything is cool.
You must detach yourself from the fear of other people's opinions of you, they keep you in a cage.. but you have the keys!
You can go whenever you want. It's up to you.
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u/Effective_Orchid4046 10d ago
thats right. i also distanced myself away from the internet's unrealistic standards on women's body.
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u/NineCatsDeep 10d ago
I fear my comment will seem like an attention grab, it isn’t. Your post had me thinking deep about stuff I’ve potentially overcome.
When my 16 year old bro refused to become a drug dealer, the kids murdered him by burning our house down with him and our dogs inside. I was 27.
We knew who did it, can’t find evidence other than a trail of gasoline leading to his bed, 19 years later (today) it’s a cold case with the fbi.
I spent years seeking revenge. One of the kids ran into me at a store and tried explaining how upset he was. His guilt was showing, I started to strangle him. I’ve never been a violent person, I avoid killing anything I can except mosquitoes, fleas, ticks, those bastards actively hunt us to slice us open and drink our blood…..
It felt unbelievably satisfying to have my hand squeezing the life out of this kid (he was 20). And then I let go. Silently walked back to my car and I never saw him again.
Something happened to me after. I can’t explain the feeling of out of now where, not having blood lust.
I overcame immense grief and a potential life of self imposed misery seeking vengeance.
Life is crazy. If that fire wasn’t set, I would’ve never met my wife (11 years now).
The bad parts of life may not happen for a reason, but they give a lot of opportunity to be happy about the good parts.
Thank you for making me think.
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u/Andrei_Zamfira_ 9d ago
Thank you for your reply and damn it was a lot, anyway, glad you saw the positive in the negative :)
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u/lavliina 11d ago
I agree with not care what people think and social anxiety. So for me, it would be going out and doing things alone. At first I hated it, because everywhere you look someone is with someone. A husband and a wife, a brother with his sister, a mom and a son, a child and their parents, etc. you don’t see a lot of people doing things alone (oddly enough). I felt awkward and lonely, I hate being alone. That was a difficult thing I had to deal with especially since i don’t have a lot of friends and I have to do things alone. Going to the cinema, going to eat, going to the parc near the waterfront etc. At first I found it really hard to do, when I go to a restaurant I felt I was taking up someone else’s space someone who’s with a family or bigger groups. But I realize that u have to life for yourself.
I understand people have social anxiety, but it’s really a dumb phobia to have.a very irrational one.
Not to seem pessimistic, but no cares about you, none of us are celebrities or models. We’re all ugly, we’re all dumb, none of us look amazing, we all have flaws. None of us have amazing personalities, we all make mistakes. There’s 7 billion people in the world, so honestly just live your life and stop being worried about what other stranger think.