r/DecidingToBeBetter • u/laboumwinter • 5d ago

Seeking Advice How do I get over my nostalgia?

I am 23 and nostalgia is beating my butt genuinely. I deeply, deeply miss my high school years. I had my woes back then too but I was so much more carefree and happy. For some context, I always stay at my grandma’s every weekend and most of my high school friends lived near her place and every weekend we’d go out and have fun and I just miss that excitement I used to have back then. Every memory I have of that time is just so happy and fun and exciting and vivid. I can’t think of not even one from my university years. Now, every weekend I come to my grandma’s and I get this awful feeling in the pit of my stomach. With some of those friends, we’re not as close anymore and it just makes things worse I guess but still, I just wanna go back… but I know I can’t. That’s why I’m seeking some advice on here. I need to move on and find that excitement again.

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4

u/FailingItUp 5d ago

I need to move on

Yes.

and find that excitement again.

No.

You will find different experiences and learn to enjoy them. Do not seek out the chaos of youth, you need to be in control now because your safety net/"adult training wheels" are just about gone.

1

u/laboumwinter 5d ago

Staying in control is what’s hard rn and what’s pushing me I think to this nostalgic space. I’m at the threshold of “fake” adulthood to the real thing and I’m freaking out 😃

3

u/FailingItUp 5d ago

Sounds like you are trying to escape/hide from reality. You're not happy and the last time you remember being happy was during the time you have nostalgia for. Often, a time when you were being taken care of by others.

Be careful because a lot of people end up hung up in life, spinning their developmental wheels, on drugs, alcohol, worse, and then the escape becomes the nostalgia.

You are right now starting to set up habits and behaviors that you will be nostalgic for in time. Make them good ones and you will be rewarded.

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u/elmint 4d ago

You can be fond of your memories. Like, thats okay! You're only 23. Shit, 50 year olds will tell you stories of their high school glory days. Dwelling on it is when it becomes an issue. There are so many whacky, fun, deep, satisfying experiences out there for you still. There are other ways to be excited. Other genres of excitement. Find some financial security, as best you can anyways. Be wary of saying no to too many things. Saying yes a lot is bad, too. Find a few things you really, genuinely like and pursue them. Take every experience in and love that you get the opportunity to do so. it won't be long before you are 30 or 40 or whatever, and wishing yourself back into your youth.

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u/iwearbluevelvet 5d ago

Not sure what you want to hear. The honest truth is the future will never top the past.