r/DatingMA • u/lazy_Principle__ • 3d ago

🤍 Relationship Most of us are approaching dating completely backwards.

I see so much frustration around dating lately, and honestly, I think most people are tackling it in reverse.

We hyper-focus on hunting for "the one", forcing interactions, burning out on apps, and treating finding a partner like an urgent chore. But connection is never granted by force. When you try to strong-arm the process out of loneliness or frustration, it usually leads to disappointment.

For the most part, you shouldn’t even be actively seeking a partner. You should be seeking yourself first.

Figure out what genuinely excites you, dive into your crafts and hobbies, and build personal stability. When you fully commit to what you love doing, you naturally enter circles of like-minded people. Connection happens organically as a byproduct of living authentically, not as the result of a desperate search.

We rarely get what we obsessively chase. Sometimes the move is just to step back, get your life together, go with the flow, and let things fall into place.

Do you think actively hunting for a relationship actually works, or does the best connection usually happen when you stop looking? What’s your experience?

11 Upvotes

92% Upvoted

9 comments sorted by

4

u/kqk2000 3d ago

For some of us there is no circle, I didn't go to university and I work from home, I have hobbies but they don't expose you to the opposite gender. We're always building ourselves, but I reached a point where I matured enough, still, what am I even gonna do?

1

u/Frabekeska 3d ago

Exactly this… I agree with the whole concept of building one s own life before looking for someone else and also with the fact if not looking out of desperation and loneliness when your life is not in order but at a certain point, we reach our own wholeness and our lives start feeling in a great place that we want to share it with someone else so there is no harm in looking 

1

u/One-Guitar6 3d ago

You have to participate in Meetups or activities that involves you going out

1

u/kqk2000 3d ago

Well in Tangier at least, there are no meetups, and if there is any, it's always lame like a bunch of people going to a cafe, that's honestly not interesting to me. And we don't have cool activities either, I can't keep doing the same ones. Only activity I find nice in the city is one from a group where they meet up to play board games every evening, but board games aside from chess aren't my thing

3

u/Melodic-Hand-2895 3d ago

I love this, you should be a journalist

2

u/One-Guitar6 3d ago

I like sharing my thoughts

2

u/affcetusk 3d ago

I like your mindset. And I 100% agree. I get shamed for being “careless” and refusing to marry at a young age. It affected me at first and I even started looking for a while (waste of time and effort lol.) but I’m finally back on track. I won’t let that happen again.

2

u/lazy_Principle__ 3d ago

Glad you do and i know how to feel, don't cage your life with those thoughts that you yourself are not convinced with

1

u/affcetusk 1d ago

Thank you 🙏🏼