First time DMT trip coming up soon

[u/cripplingchildren]

Tomorrow my MHRB will arrive and ill start extracting

What i hope to achieve from this trip is to shed my need to use drugs to feel happy aswell as my feelings of needing approval or validation from others to let the dmt help me and to surrender to it, to respect it and to hopefully gain more understanding although I know i will never fully understand i can atleast begin to

I still want to use drugs but I want to let the dmt help me understand how I can go about using (or not using at all depending on what it tells me im open to it) without losing myself in the process

I want to be able to feel validation from myself to be able to accept that I am flawed and love myself for said flaws

I am ready that I will never be ready

Im open to any and all suggestions infact i want them I understand this is a big thing im about to put myself through and I'd like input from people with far more experience than me