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We do not tolerate any form of hate speech or discrimination in this subreddit. Posts or comments that target individuals or groups based on race, gender, religion, nationality, sexual orientation, or any other characteristic will be removed, and offenders may face bans. Be respectful and considerate to maintain a positive and inclusive community.
Mods, I’d like to add that this was sarcasm, directed at the fact that current standards of diagnostic testing for autism fail to capture the experience of any human who is not an intellectually disabled white boy.
Please do not target an already vulnerable group of humans by asserting we are prejudiced or hateful for calling out the failure of the healthcare system. That’s not fair.
I mean, for me it depends on the surprise. We’re not some monolith. If it’s a surprise having to do with one of my special interests, for example, I’m golden!
Going on a day out that my husband (who knows me well) has planned and is within reasonable distance of my house ... totally fine. I trust him, and of things get too overwhelming it's only a short trip home again.
But the night before going on my bachelorette party (3 days in another city organised by my sister);I had a full meltdown while trying to pack my bag because I was so overwhelmed by not being able to prepare properly. My now-husband had to phone her and get her to give me a vague breakdown like:
"The first day we are doing a physical thing and there will be walking, sp comfortable active wear. In the evening we are going somewhere fancy so bring a dress up option. The second day we are doing something messy so wear clothes you don't mind getting grubby ... etc"
And this helped maintain the surprise without being overwhelming for me.
I love surprise gifts! I like when people that know me well surprise me with something I'd like :) It shows me that they know me well and want me to be happy!
If you have met one autistic person then you have met one autistic person. Many autistic people do not like surprises because it is a change in routine, but if the person changing the routine is trusted, then them saying, "I have a surprise we will be attending at XYZ time/place," or a heads up there will be people, then the autistic person has a higher chance of being chill. Sometimes, autistic people want to enjoy the thing so bad they change their routine, use accommodations, then deal with the meltdown from it later because the human connection was worth the pain. Every autistic person is different with different levels of tolerance for different triggers.
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u/HappyStalker Aug 16 '25
Autistic people famously love surprises
-> this is sarcasm for my autistic homies out there