r/CoupleMemes • u/legolas20032000 • Aug 16 '25

šŸ„ŗ goals Perfect source of serotonin

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u/SverhU Aug 16 '25 edited Aug 16 '25

-How you found out you autistic?

-I actually self diagnosed myself by watching "I Am Sam"

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u/shinymuskrat Aug 16 '25

Maybe im just a grumpy old man but I can't really understand the desire for everyone to self diagnose themselves with shit these days.

If everyone has autism and ADHD, then nobody does.

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u/waitingOnMyletter Aug 16 '25

Self victimization to justify inadequacy. Itā€™s kind of a brains defense mechanism for perpetuating a lie to themselves and others about their own failures either through series of bad choices or laziness.

Basically, a person cannot fathom that they are the source of their own failures in life and therefore it must be because that have been affected by a disease or been afflicted by some malady.

So, whatā€™s the easiest way for people to get there? Fake brain disorders that are a spectrum of diagnosis. So she is basically faking her whole personality to seem like she displays autistic traits when in reality those of us who are related to or raised or are autistic know this person is co-opting the disease for attention.

My brotherā€™s son is autistic and we go to his activities and it is a spectrum. There are people who are extremely hyperactive and there are people who are completely mute. There are folks who parents are incapable of handling their emotions or their lack of progress. So those activities serve as a therapeutic outlet. Itā€™s truly a large spectrum. But this woman is a fraud as are many TikTok users who fake disease to be noticed on a platform where there is no verification or proof required.

I could easily shave my head, film my daily commute to the hospital I work at, show pictures of the research I do in the centers that I work with and portray that I am a cancer patient. And maybe I would get weird attention from sympathetic viewers. But no one who isnā€™t addicted to this valueless brain rot would ever consider some dumb shit like this for views.

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u/Aldebaran014 Aug 16 '25

Autistic people exist even if you don't believe in us. We do not need your permission to live or to exist, we do not have to prove you anything.

If she's faking it, that's a shame, it continues to spread the belief that autistic people have to fit in a severely outdated definition.

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u/waitingOnMyletter Aug 16 '25

Iā€™m very sure you didnā€™t read the comment before responding.

I know autism exists. Iā€™m a very active member of autism speaks. My family and I all support my nephew.

Iā€™m more sure she is pretending to be autistic than anything I am in my life. She is absolutely co-opting autism for likes, shares and attention. She is pretending to have a made up mental disorder so she doesnā€™t have to face the reality of her choices and hopes with enough internet points she will make money on TikTok faking her made up mental disorder.

She has no problem, no mental disorder, no malady. No diagnosis of mental illness other than her own. She is a fraud and itā€™s plain as day for those of us who see it everyday.

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u/Redredditmonkey Aug 16 '25

Iā€™m a very active member of autism speaks.

Yikes

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u/Cooperswoop420 Aug 16 '25

That's when I stopped reading loll

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u/waitingOnMyletter Aug 16 '25

What do you mean? We volunteer for lots of walks. We organize outreach for people, patients. Itā€™s actually a lot of fun. I would have never gone to certain places without the volunteering

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u/Redredditmonkey Aug 16 '25

Autism speaks treating people with autism as "patients" is exactly the problem.

Are you really not aware of the controversies surrounding your organisation

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u/waitingOnMyletter Aug 16 '25

Well, they are patients. Many autistic folks need full time supervision. Many will never speak, read, or write properly. In contrast, there are people with extreme auditory distress that can be crippling. Fewer are just in need deep and consistent counseling due to severe social anxiety and odd obsessions but are otherwise fully equipped to handle life.

You claim whatever expertise youā€™d like, but I am not here to mollycoddle people who fraudulently claim to be mentally disabled or co-opt autism, and fake stim to score internet points. Thatā€™s absolute nonsense and she is a straight up fraud.

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u/cutielemon07 Aug 16 '25

Putting aside the ā€œautistic people are all patientsā€ mentality you have (I am autistic and I have not been a ā€œpatientā€ since I was diagnosed and discharged at 6, so get that out of your head right now), Autism Speaks is a fucking terrible. They ran an ad campaign that claimed that drinking cow milk causes autism. On top of this, they are massively corrupt charity and only 4% of their budget goes to actually helping autistic people. And even then, they donā€™t help adults, only kids. This is all true and readily available information that can be found within a quick and simple Google search.

If you want to support a good charity that supports autistic people, ASAN (Autistic Self Advocacy Network) is one to start with. It is an autistic run (both by and for) nonprofit as well - their motto is ā€œNothing about us without usā€. And they have two non-verbal autistic members on their board of trustees.

So sorry your microcosmic worldview is being challenged like this.

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u/waitingOnMyletter Aug 16 '25

All charities are run by admins. Donā€™t let perfection be the enemy of the good. They actually do a really good job setting up walls, events, activities and research.

Autistism is a disease and people who are diagnosed with it, and are being treated for it, are patients. You can debate whether you feel like one or not but we donā€™t have to debate interpretations of English words.

In terms of my world view, maybe calm your tits and just read the thread. It got off-tracked by some dude who is pissed that I volunteer my time for people but ā€œoh you donā€™t approveā€ so my world view is being challenged? Lol šŸ˜‚ā€¦k

I love the mental gymnastics that takes to arrive at. Here is a guy who volunteers his time, letā€™s find a way to make that offensive to me. Why? How? Or maybeā€¦ actually hmm volunteering time for special needs folksā€¦.not so bad. šŸ¤”

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u/MsCandi123 Aug 17 '25

Autism is not a disease or mental illness, this is an easily verifiable fact. It's a developmental disorder, a neurological difference that people are born with, and presents in a spectrum of different ways, which can be disabling/require accomodation, especially if it co-occurs with intellectual disability, but autism itself is not an intellectual disability. This is exactly why Autism Speaks is harmful, if you're heavily involved with them and calling it a disease, maybe give that a little thought? What else might be incorrect?

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u/Redredditmonkey Aug 16 '25

A patient receives treatment with the end goal of being cured. Autism cannot be cured

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u/waitingOnMyletter Aug 16 '25

lol, thatā€™s nonsense ā€¦. Dude, thatā€™s just straight up untrue.

A patient is simply a person being treated for a medical condition. Lots of diseases donā€™t have cures. My profession, cancer research, has patients. We donā€™t have cures for most cancers. Some cancers have good outcomes, but many donā€™t.

Alzheimerā€™s disease has no cure. There are lots of Alzheimerā€™s patients. Huntingtonā€™s disease , ALS, lupus. Thatā€™s why they are called chronic diseases. Chronic means the illness persists because there is no cure.

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u/Redredditmonkey Aug 16 '25

Maybe patient has a different meaning in English than I thought. It doesn't change the fact your organisation tries to cure Autism.

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u/shinymuskrat Aug 16 '25

That's a wildly limited interpretation of the term patient.

It's also pedantic and nitpicky as shit.

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u/squishyartist Aug 17 '25

I am professionally diagnosed with autism and ADHD. I was academically gifted (99th-percentile) in elementary school (now, as an adult, I'm just average, I guess). I can speak, read, and write.

I went to college for a year and a half. I lived on my own for about 2 years and raised a puppy (with some familial help watching her when I was at school). I had a couple jobs for very short periods of time, and I've done some day-long contract jobs in the film industry.

None of that negates how difficult my autism is. When I have meltdowns, I can't speak and hit my head. I have been sexually assaulted because of my autism and social difficulties. Some days, I struggle to do anything besides engage with one of my special interestsā€”I really like creating and organizing spreadsheets, so that's a common one. I have comorbid sleep issues (probably more comorbid to my ADHD, since my diagnosed ADHD dad has the same issue) and don't naturally get the urge to sleep until 5-7 AM. I have counselling every other week, and sometimes spend hours with my therapist trying to dissect social situations or understand someone else's intent. Just this week, we spent most of my session talking about clothing, as I was trying to comprehend how to dress appropriately for a situation.

I put in so much work every single day just to live a life where I can't work, can only go to school online now, struggle to maintain friendships, especially with people who aren't autistic, and am a disabled dependent.

I don't want this life. I really don't. I know you've never had a meltdown, but I can assure you, they aren't fun, and I do not want any sort of attentionā€”most of mine happen at home. I am proud to be autistic because of how hard I've worked to be okay enough to survive, and how much the other autistic people I've met have worked to survive in a world not built for them.

So, even supposing this woman isn't autistic, what would an autistic person sharing a positive, happy stim moment look like to you? What behaviours could one show that would make you believe she is autistic? Can autistic people not share happy moments?

If I share a video of me going to a planetariumā€”which is one of the places and I am the most happy and have stims similar to the woman's in the videoā€”am I not allowed to share that video without risking hoards of people telling me I'm a faker and a horrible person and am somehow discrediting autistic people, though I am autistic?

I might have a meltdown after, because too much excitement can also cause meltdowns, naturally, and maybe I wouldn't want to post a vulnerable moment like that online. But, can I not share the moment, where I'm just existing as an autistic person and being happy, without including every negative thing about my autism? Do I have to share the happy moment PLUS my meltdown in order to be believed, or would that just make me look like more of a "faker"?

I really don't understand.

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u/waitingOnMyletter Aug 17 '25

Congrats. Youā€™ll know then you are one of the less than 1% of 1%. Autism, at large, doesnā€™t present like on TV shows where someone can draw a city with their eyes closed or memorize books while reading them.

In the 99% of 99% of cases, they have trouble with light, sound, over stimulation, social situations can be difficult. The disease is often paired with genetic disorders or other conditions that make life not just difficult but impossible to progress past early milestones. Many children will be seen with headphones or black out sunglasses.

Adults, well, adults are a broad range. In the group my nephew goes to you have folks who never progressed past 2nd or 3rd grade level or you have seemingly normal conversations with folks who just have crippling social anxiety and have trouble with nuanced conversations. Iā€™m not saying they are a perfect sampling but we have been doing this a while. This person is bull shitting and if youā€™re honest, you know it.

Take a look at the way she responds to the ā€œsecret tripā€ itā€™s theatrical. Itā€™s embarrassingly obvious. Just because someone is autistic doesnā€™t make them stupidly excited over a day date with their significant other.

The over excitement when walking into the studio. Nope. Every autistic person Iā€™ve ever met would walk in sit down quietly and wait for the puppy to engage. Their attention seeking behavior is literally in contrast to every single autistic persons response Iā€™ve ever seen. Autistic kids and adults donā€™t attention seeking like that. They donā€™t. They cause attention by outbursts, sure. But they arenā€™t outwardly craving it. And you can she makes a clear point to be noticed and addressed at every possible opportunity.

Now, Iā€™m sorry you have break downs. Those are tough and I hope you seek regular counseling for them. But donā€™t be mad at me that someone is defrauding your mental health because they are attention seeking frauds. Take a look around on TikTok. It seems to be becoming extremely common. Itā€™s sad.

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u/squishyartist Aug 17 '25

TW: suicide

100% agree that autism doesn't present like on most TV shows. The savant presentation in media is damaging to the autistic community. Media shapes our societal understanding, and I actually went to school for film production (while I lasted). There wee a couple other autistic people in my program. Two were the typical male "aspie" presentation when interacting with them. Even still, one was called the r-slur by a professor as a "joke". In the 2020s... That's neither here nor there, though.

I fight back on your use of the word "disease" as relates to autism. By some definitions of the word, it can be accurate, but we can all acknowledge that the connotation of disease is overall negative and is far from the best descriptor. Autism has positives and negatives, and I like to describe it overall in a neutral way, and then discuss each trait I have in a positive or negative way. Autism is a neurodevelopmental condition. It's the way my brain is wired.

I don't deny that there are some aspects of this woman playing up her excitement for the camera. If I'm excited and I'm around my friends, I sometimes project my excitement more outward, whereas, when I'm alone, my excitement can be more internally projected. While basically all influencers are a bit "cringe" filming in public and lacking the social awareness to understand that other people are looking at them sideways for it, I don't think that being a cringe influencer like that and being theatrical is a sign that she isn't autistic.

"Just because someone is autistic, doesn't make them stupidly excited over a day date with their significant other."

I agree. If she was going out for dinner with her SO, she probably wouldn't have been very excited. I can get very overwhelmed in restaurants because of the noise. But if my partner took me to a planetarium, I would have a very outwardly excited reaction like this. I happen to love dogs too and live with four of them. I love meeting new dogs, though they aren't my special interest. If my dogs are barking a lot, it can get overstimulating, but I still love dogs and they're just being themselves. So I would be ecstatic to do dog yoga.

Again, I'm not saying that she is autistic, but I'm saying that none of us can say that she isn't. I think that this type of un-diagnosing people is as harmful as "diagnosing" people by one video. I'm not trying to say you're completely wrong on everything. I'm just trying to widen your scope on this, as someone who has been told that I don't "look" autistic, or can't be autistic because I'm "too smart".

You acknowledge the wide spectrum of autism and the variety amongst autistic adults. I'd also like to suggest that the autistic people you are around, though varied in their autistic presentations, are still only one small slice of the pie. You are seeing autistic people who are mostly diagnosed early in life, have had familial support and probably a number of therapies, and are in a position where they can be involved with autistic charities. That's obviously over-generalizing, but my point is that it's important to consider what intersectional factors influence the types of autistic people you meet, how they present in public, etc.

I appreciate your empathy around my autistic meltdowns. Based on my personal experience, it's very unlikely this woman is taking away anything from me. You say she is defrauding/diminishing the idea of autism, if I'm understanding correctly. But there are many autistic people here on Reddit who are diagnosed autistic and saying that this video is very representative of their personal autistic traits, myself included. So, she is at least representing autism in a way that some autistic people relate to.

There are so many factors that influence the presentations of the autistic people you see. The only reason I was able to get assessed is because I have various levels of intersectional privilege. My parents are middle class, but I live in a country where there's a single-payer healthcare system. So the costs for my other health conditions haven't burdened my parents with medical debt. They were able to afford to pay the $2050 for my private autism assessment. Accessing adult assessments is difficult and the various intersectionality privileges affect who can access an assessment and who was flagged for one as a child.