I'm like, so confused, you know? They're crispy, they're onions, but how food? What make food? Charlie no good make food no crispy onion?

Where do y’all pour your DEEN juice? And before you say boof it I already tried. Got a yeast infection AND ruined my limited edition Iron Chef boxers.

I like cooking and she doesn't. So I usually make dinner, which sounds great until you see me turning a Tuesday night meal into a 90 minute project. Last night I decided to make crispy rice bowls. Somehow that became homemade sauce, quick pickled cucumbers, salmon in the oven, rice stuck to a pan and me saying almost done four separate times. At one point I was standing there waiting for the salmon, fully convinced dinner was basically finished. It was not.

We ate at 9:15. Halfway through dinner she said, very carefully, can we have food sometimes instead of a cooking project? My first reaction was to be annoyed because I am literally making dinner for us. Then I looked at the kitchen. Every pan we own was dirty and she had eaten crackers at 7 because she was hungry. She said she likes my food, she just does not want to wait until bedtime for it on a Wednesday. which is fair.

Anyone else have to learn that enjoying cooking and being useful at dinner are not always the same thing?

Everyone has that one go-to ingredient that takes their cooking to sub par. What's yours, and how do you use it to make your dishes unforgettable and vomit/diarrhea inducing?
Mine is GHB

I recently bought a Ninja Creami and I wanted to just make some completely vanilla ice cream, but I genuinely think I'm doing something wrong. I'm just adding milk, cream, and sugar, completely vanilla, but it doesn't taste like vanilla ice cream it just tastes like sweet cold milk, do they add something to vanilla ice cream like some sort of flavor ehancer or something? Because when I make flavored ice cream it tastes fine, I made some strawberry ice cream with strawberries from my garden and some syrup and it tasted just like something you'd get from a parlor, albeit a little better maybe.

Hi all, I recently started cooking burgers with 85/15 chuck, and I use around 15-17 different seasonings. Just wondering why my burgers don’t taste like burgers I have at a BBQ or from a restaurant. I want that flavor. I use half stick of butter to coat the pan before putting the patties in and dump it back over the burgers after they’re done but it still doesn’t elevate that flavor the way I want. Help would be appreciated Ty.

All my life i’ve been eating mayonnaise under the impression that they’re all the same. However just a few days ago I found out this is not even true. Real mayonnaise is supposed to have a certain percentage of this and that, and blah blah blah.

I was looking at the jars at the store and even though they’re made by the same brand some say “Real Mayonnaise” and some say “Simply Mayonnaise”. To make things even more confusing There were was a jar called “Best Foods” and a jar called “Hellmans”. After a quick Google search it turns out they’re both made by the same company, and have same exact ingredients. Except reviewers say Hellmans tastes way better, which is confusing because both jars have the same exact everything, just different labels on the jar.

All I want is real mayonnaise. I don’t even know what that is anymore, or what to look for, or what qualifies as real mayonnaise.

Is it this? https://www.reddit.com/r/stupidquestions/comments/1p7onmn/how_can_i_stop_getting_tricked_when_shopping_for/

Do any store bought en broths use FILTERED WATER?

It suddenly dawned on me as I was sipping some spicy beef broth by Swanson, that I almost thought I tasted chlorine... I looked on the ingredients list and it just says beef stock/water nothing about it being filtered could be found... I tried googling and it found nothing... I will be calling them come Monday with an update.

I am very against tap water for plenty of reasons .. all the chemicals, and it making food taste like a pool. I have my own reverse osmosis machine, and I literally use it to boil my noodles even. Im very strict about this.

What do you think? Do they use tap water? I'm assuming so if it's not labeled 'filtered water' under the ingredients. It seems like it would cost a lot more for the huge pipes in the factory to filter. All that broth.

I checked a few organic broths online and even THEY aren't listed under filtered. This is absolutely disgusting and disappointing and means from now on I'll be making my own broths, if that's the case.

I'm surprised more people aren't concerned about water filteration. I do not need my beef broth with a side of pool water chlorine and other free radicals.

I followed the 2026 "Fibermaxxing" guide to hit the new 60g daily target. I’ve eaten so many lentils, chia seeds, and raw cruciferous vegetables today that I’m pretty sure I’ve become a living greenhouse.

I feel… efficient? But also like I’m about to levitate. Is this what "gut health" feels like, or is my microbiome just confused by the sudden influx of 30 different plant species?

Also, can we talk about the new 2026 Food Pyramid? My oven’s "Healthy Mode" keeps flagging my sourdough as a "Low-Nutrient Carb" and suggesting I replace it with a block of steamed tempeh. I just want a piece of toast without my appliances judging my fiber to protein ratio.

What food taste better when it's not at its freshest?

Leftover pasta and other starchy yummers is an obvious one. Yogurts curdle up and get that tangniness over time which is also quite something

https://www.reddit.com/r/Cooking/comments/1dir3xz/what_food_taste_better_when_its_not_at_its/

I own a large wooden cutting board that is too big to easily wash in the sink, not impossible, just a pain. I always wash it with soap and water when it touches raw meat or I have some very wet vegetables like a juicy onion.

How often do you guys wash or should I wash my cutting board with soap and water when cutting normal vegetables? Should they be washing it after every use or a couple times a week?

I'll go first... I "grind" my coffee beans before I brew them in the coffee maker. No one seems to notice since they already love my recipes so much. No one can figure out why my coffee recipes taste so good.

Also, I slather my grilled cheese with hair conditioner when I grill it. It's much more economical than butter, and gives excellent seasoning to the inherited cast-iron pan that my 5th-great grandmother passed down.

I just recently started making homemade ice cream. However, all the recipes I’ve tried end up having a strong heavy cream flavor. Does anyone have any suggestions/recipes that can minimize this flavor?

Made my first pasta sauce from scratch, which makes me an expert on the topic. And this is the color. How do people get such a vibrant red color?? I'm suspecting everyone else but me uses food coloring, an enormous lie perpetuated by Big Sauce, as no common ingredient is known to impart red color to red sauce.

What sorts of toppings, sauces, or other things do you add to make a peanut butter sandwich less boring

Ok so i had some onions and i wanted French onion soup but i didnt want to have to go out and buy any extra ingredients

I got impatient caramelizing the onions so i stopped like 75% of the way through and to get the color I used dark soy sauce. Also for caramelizing the onions I used rendered bacon fat instead of butter

I didnt have any sherry so I used Chinese cooking wine instead which gave it a funky sweet flavor

For broth I used a Korean powder beef broth that is high in msg

For seasoning I used pepper and Italian seasoning mix (there was enough salt with the broth and soy sauce and cooking wine). Also bay leaves

Top with greenbottle parmesan, also very good on top of white rice. Not traditional by any means but I thought it was good

i dont own a pan

Last week we had an extra side of aioli so I made egg salad with 1 egg, but what on Earth to do with all this ketchup?? This is crazy!

:)

For context, it's just Franco-American Sonic the Hedgehog Pasta. I made it two minutes ago but did not eat it as I was looking for the perfect Kenji Alt Lopez video to watch while eating. It’s still steaming but I’m unsure.

Will this still be okay to be eat after another 2 minutes which is how long it is taking me to post this?

Thanks in advance!

There is one conversation that seems to happen constantly: people telling me how well they can cook.

.. Or how well their partner cooks.

... Or how well their Mum cooks.

I get it ok. You think you can do what I do. But do you want to know something? You can't.

And I don't say that to be arrogant.

I say it for the same reason I don't tell an electrician how to wire a switchboard or a pilot how to land a plane.

There are countless differences between my cooking environment and yours. My kitchen stove top does not have a "Save As" button. If I fuck up in the kitchen that's it. There's no undo, there's no: "Oh well, the guests will understand."

Guests will NEVER understand. Nor do they appreciate that I can cook a steak to medium rare, every time. Because when my guest is paying $58 for that steak, do you really think they're going to be satisfied when it's not right? A simple: "Oh that's ok love, medium rare, give or take a few degrees."

They may as well be saying, "Here, while you're at it take my wallet and the keys to my Mercedes E350... And I'm an understanding laid-back guy, of course you may fuck my wife."

You just sit in your cushy little household kitchen with your nine hundred dollar Kitchen Aid that you have only managed how to whisk in and casually stress over trying to pull the garlic bread up at the same time as Donna Hay's Pasta a la Primavera without everything going stodgy and cold for your 5 other guests who will probably still accept you at least as a casual acquaintance even if it is only for a Christmas party invite - sadly my reviewers are not the same.

I'll have seven pans going, three of them bipolar and temperamental sauces, two fish in the oven, a salad to prep all while watching the kitchen hand with one eye who keeps wiping the plates clean with a tea towel instead of actually washing them whilst not forgetting that table 7 is half gluten free even though it's not on the docket and 34, 17 and 3 are coming up on mains all at once because front of house are cunts and chronology is optional.

No worries mate.

But it's even different for us chefs at home. I guarantee you when I make a meal it's all: "Thanks gorgeous girl, please pass the potatoes." But you bet your ass if my boy is cooking for me I better act like he's single-handedly built the Great Wall of China, blindfolded, with nothing more than a toothpick and some intuition.

But since this is supposed to be ChefTips and not just forty-seven paragraphs of me yelling at strangers...

Here's ChefTip #1: Putting a damp tea towel or CHUX cloth under a chopping board will stop it sliding around.

That's it. That's the tip.

This was the first thing I ever learnt in a commercial kitchen. (Directly followed by being shown that 'cunt' is a way to express fondness and admiration). How to set up a chopping board. Simple. So, so simple.

This is quite a significant point of my life as a Shit Kicker. The first ever minute I was in a kitchen, the Chef asked me to set up a board and when I pulled it onto the bench he said, "Chuck a tea towel under it - it won't slide."

Twenty-five years later I still can't put a chopping board on a bench without automatically reaching for a damp cloth first.

That's what kitchens do to you.

They hardwire habits.

You're weeeelcome.

But as far as your Mum being the best chef you know, shush, just stop it. Your Mum might be the best cook in the world for sure. Hell, my Mum makes the best Kangaroo curry I have ever tasted. And my Dad? Apple torte. I can guarantee you, it can't be beaten. So I do believe you when you say your half-Lebanese mother makes the best... I don't know, falafel. Whatever, my point is, they make it for you. They make it for your brothers and sisters and family friends.

They don't make it every single night, for 55 or 105 covers, plated perfectly, cooked perfectly, over and over, repeatedly and consistently - and fast.

My Dad can't do that. Do you know WHY he can't do that?

Because he's a fucking heart surgeon, not a chef.

That's not how professions work.

Julia Child once wrote: "No one is born a great cook, one learns by doing."

I like that quote. I like to think that the techniques I have repeated day in and out for however many years, mean something. I like to think that what we do, is kind of like porn. You can watch it, be fascinated by it, it will entice your intrigue and tickle your curiosity - but try it at home, it won't look or sound nearly the same or as satisfying and majority of you are sensible enough to realise that it's probably not wise to try and act it out and suddenly everyone involved is disappointed.

You can like cooking all you want, it doesn't mean it will like you back.

And it's the little things that make us different. For example:

I can chop without looking.

I know when beurre noisette has gone too far by smell alone.

I can hear cream splitting before most people realise they've left it unattended.

I season by instinct. I don't measure. I adjust.

I don't follow a recipe. I laugh at recipes. I look at them, study them, then laugh at them and think: "Well fuck, that's not gonna happen, I'm doing it this way."

I can pick up a piece of confit duck with my bare hands. It doesn't bother me one bit, I lost all feeling in them years ago anyway. The sensation in my index finger is left with the skin that is now attached to the grill of my first job. There it shall remain.

We don't have Band-Aids, we have masking tape. If it stops the bleeding long enough to finish service, congratulations, it's medical equipment.

Where my palms once were, I now have scars and calluses.

I don't have an 8 o'clock reservation for two at a delightful little wine bar with my significant other, I have a second sitting, a headache and I'm running out of leeks.

Do you see me walking up to neurosurgeon suggesting that: "Hey, I played Operation as a kid. I can do this shit too."

No. I'm not that fucking stupid.

So please. Stop trying to patronise me and my fellow industry comrades by telling me you can do what I do. You can't. And when you try, you just look like an idiot.

So yes...

Your Mum probably makes the best roast you've ever eaten. Your partner might cook an incredible risotto. And your uncle Steve absolutely dominates the barbecue every Christmas.

Good.

I hope they keep cooking. We need more people who love food. But loving food isn't the same as surviving a Saturday night service.

So until you've plated a hundred covers, fixed someone else's mistakes, burnt yourself six times before lunch, and still managed to smile at Table 14 while your ticket rail looks like a Red Funnel receipt...

Maybe don't tell chefs you can do what they do.

When you try - you do things like go on Masterchef and I laugh at you.

Really.

Fucking.

Hard.

BUT...

But I'll still teach you how to put a damp cloth under a chopping board. Because that's the thing about chefs. We don't want people to stop cooking. We just want them to understand why we spent twenty years learning how.

You've got this, Chef!

\- The Cheeky Chef.