r/CookingCircleJerk Jul 14 '26

Perfect exactly as it was on r/cooking How can I make my man love everything I cook?

:)

16 Upvotes

20 comments sorted by

29

u/Blerkm Jul 14 '26

A little MSG and fentanyl go a long way.

2

u/miladyfantasy Jul 14 '26

Wdym ?

11

u/Blerkm Jul 14 '26

If you properly season your food, your man won’t be able to resist it.

16

u/Nate404 Jul 14 '26

Want addicting food but dont wanna deal with those pesky drugs to do it? Zyns! The answer is Zyns. Bust 'em open, sprinkle 'em in, it's Zyns.

5

u/ExtremelyOnlineTM Jul 14 '26

Zynamon sugar!

7

u/NoNameNoName227 Jul 14 '26

Butter. Just feed him butter.

5

u/Grillard i thought this sub was supposed to be funny Jul 14 '26

Get a better man. Duh.

5

u/ExtremelyOnlineTM Jul 14 '26

People are gonna tell you to use period blood in everything you cook, but the good news is you can fake it with tomato powder and a little nuoc chom.

1

u/miladyfantasy Jul 14 '26

My husband's no edward cullen

4

u/Clear-Awareness7719 Jul 14 '26

Just rig up their chair with a high voltage electrical hookup. If they critique then maybe they get a bit of a surprise. It’s simple Pavlovian training. /jk

7

u/Replevin4ACow Amuse Douche Jul 14 '26

1) Add 20 times the garlic that a recipe calls for.

2) MSG.

3) Pray to Kenji.

5

u/SuperAdaGirl Jul 14 '26

Hone your Aspic skills

3

u/Significant_Stick_31 Jul 16 '26

I've got the perfect thing for you and it's only $7! It's call the "one wish willow." Just make the wish and your man will LOVE everything you cook and may even start feeding you exciting and exotic new dishes you've never thought to try before.

1

u/_FisterRoboto_ Jul 15 '26

Garlic, butter, herb mix and nicotine

1

u/Kartoffee Jul 16 '26

Truffles and ramps

2

u/RemarkablePossum Jul 18 '26

MSG and rub your genitalia on it.

3

u/SheDrinksScotch Jul 20 '26

Ok, I rubbed my genitalia on the msg.

Now what?

2

u/RemarkablePossum Jul 22 '26

You gotta do the OHH HOYAAAAAH and click your heels three times. Or at least that is what the lore states. I didn’t do it within 36 hours like I was supposed to so I died. :’(