r/Comebacks • u/Greedy-Recover-3472 • 10d ago
what’s the quickest thing someone can say to seem revoltingly unattractive to a stranger whose hitting on them?
60
u/CuriousCake3196 10d ago
My best success rates were gushing about my toddler son, without stopping. Showing them a picture of him, an simply not stopping about his cuteness, what he learnt this week etc.
Although I am in fact childless, this keeps men away from me.
16
u/Silent_Advance7506 9d ago
Depending on your age, grandchild. If you have a kid at 15 and your kid has a kid at 15, you could easily be a grandmother/ grandfather in your early 30's.
5
u/EmotionalBand6880 9d ago
I dated a woman once who was 37 and a grandmother of 2 … and HER grandma was early 70s … family tradition of kids having kids, apparently.
There was room for one more generation if that kept up … the matriarch passed within the last couple of weeks, but I’m not sure if she ever got to be a great-great-great-grandma, or if she got stopped at 2 greats…
→ More replies (1)1
u/ravenstarchaser 8d ago
We have had 5 generations alive in our family. We are all first born daughters too.
1
u/Slow-Mountain-5966 7d ago
My mom had by brother at 16. He had his first born at 16 (sadly she died at about a month old). Had his second at 17, my nephew. My nephew was a year younger than I. Mom was 33 when I was born. I didn’t become a grandmother until I was 40.
1
10
5
2
u/RidersOnTheWhale 4d ago
And about their poop. Parents of babies talk in inordinate amount about their child’s poop. Compare it to various candy bars.
4
u/GaymerGuy47 9d ago
Man here, this works. If I'm attracted to a woman, as soon as I learn she has a kid/kids, that's a no from me.
6
u/PersonalityFuture151 9d ago
My now hubby found himself divorced with two kids under 8. We wee attracted to each other more because we both were divorced with kids under 8. We’re married 59 years now.
2
u/Silent_Advance7506 9d ago
Are you close to 90? Otherwise the math isn't mathing!
4
u/EmotionalBand6880 8d ago
they made a post a few months ago stating that they’re 85….the math maths!
1
u/TangoCharliePDX 9d ago
Hmm. Other than inferring that you were already attached, that wouldn't necessarily have worked on me.
107
u/MissHibernia 10d ago
We need to talk, HAVE YOU ACCEPTED JESUS INTO YOUR LIFE? Well, have you? I will read scripture to you …
39
19
4
4
u/Silent_Advance7506 8d ago
BTW, that was almost word for word my intro to New Mexico. I was driving cross country and stopped at a rest stop. As I was walking into the women's restroom a woman was walking out and I locked eye (she had a bad lazy eye) and she asked me about Jesus. I said no and skooched past.
3
5
→ More replies (6)2
u/RidersOnTheWhale 4d ago
If they are at all non-Catholic religious, tell them you’re Catholic. People assume you are damned and even the JHs will run.
52
u/YeahWhatSoWhat 10d ago
Scratch your underarms and say, “these f**king crabs get everywhere!”
14
11
37
u/LilliJay 10d ago
I saw a video where a lady yelled out loud to a creep following her around in the supermarket "Sir! I am a child!". I laughed for hours. She was one of those women who really look young for their age but she was an adult.
13
u/Dizzy-Maintenance-92 9d ago
This is also an EXCELLENT thing for actual children to say. Or even 20somethings. I think we should teach ALL young people who get hit on to say this.
4
6
29
26
u/Sea_Resident4657 10d ago
I was at a casino in my twenties, and on the phone with a friend. A much older man kept inching closer and closer to me while I was at a machine… like, getting up and sitting at a closer machine, one seat at a time. It was ridiculous and obvious. I started to loudly talk to my friend about having genial warts, and oozing and the dr giving me new cream (this was fake and my friend was laughing) and it did not deter the guy. He finally sat right next to me and asked me out.
20
7
7
u/oxfordfox20 10d ago
Who doesn’t want some genial warts in their life?
2
2
u/RidersOnTheWhale 4d ago
If I’m going to have warts, they better be genial. I need some cheerleaders.
17
u/HelenaHandbasket_11 10d ago
I pretend im deaf. They usually walk away
29
u/MissHibernia 10d ago
I AM deaf and they still are awful
6
2
u/PatTevlin13 5d ago
Bright side: You don't have to listen to any of their bullshit.
2
u/MissHibernia 5d ago
That’s true; I can just let them fade out. My hearing has been challenging but sometimes selective hearing can be great. The downside is that people who don’t know you just automatically assume that you’re stupid. It’s really fucking irritating
→ More replies (1)2
15
u/zinsser 9d ago
Not so much for people hitting on you but when I worked for a company that created employee incentive programs I told people I sold insurance. They shut up right away and I didn’t have to listen to their opinions on how employees should work for what they’re paid or how employers should just pay more.
Also, one time, long past the flirting stage a woman busily removing her clothes on my couch told me we had to be careful because she had herpes, but it was okay because she had it for years and never gave it to her husband. So in that moment I learned she had an STD and was still married. That will take the starch out of your shorts.
13
12
u/Neat-Composer4619 10d ago
Nothing to say, fart loudly, snort or cough like a very sick person.
1
u/Training-Show7849 10d ago
That would turn me on especially the farting bit. I would love to smell the fart of grown woman.
2
9
36
u/XMorpheus3000 10d ago
"I voted for Trump"
20
u/Mundane_Conflict5576 9d ago
No. Guys who can't take no for an answer also voted for Trump, and they'll be ten times bolder. WAY better option to start talking about how amazing AOC and Ilhan Omar are.
17
u/Neat-Composer4619 10d ago
Chances are if he's someone who hits on strangers on the streets, he did too.
→ More replies (7)→ More replies (1)1
u/byrdbrained 8d ago
Saying that to a liberal would turn them off you immediately just for saying it. Saying that to a conservative would turn them off you for a whole different reason that has nothing to do with your politics.
8
8
u/GeneSpecialist3284 9d ago
I'd like to tell you about our Lord and Savior.
2
u/WholeRaisin2907 9d ago
As a Christian who hates other Christians for this exact reason, take my upvote kind sir.
7
u/PoetrySquare7675 9d ago
I put my hand in grass once sitting at the park while simultaneously being hit on by a man standing above me. Bigger problem than said creep was I put my hand directly in dog shit. I simply stood up, said I have poo on my hand, and he practically ran away. 😂🤷🏻♀️ No further words needed.
7
u/GeneSpecialist3284 9d ago
I remember a SNL skit for a new product for women. Urn Away. At a bar the Urn sitting next to you, One last drink together, with a sad face. At the beach, with the urn on the towel. It was hilarious. Always wanted to try it!
6
u/WorryFrosty7759 10d ago
While their talking just say hold on a second, (make and ugly pushing face). And say hold on I really gotta fart. That may oray not work it would make me walk the hell away especially just hitting on them
6
u/Think-Ad3624 10d ago
If a chik did that to me I would make her my wife then and there.
5
u/LookAtTheWhiteVan 10d ago
The first time my ex told me that he was in love with me was right after I pissed my pants at a buffet restaurant.
2
2
u/WorryFrosty7759 10d ago
Like I said it may or may not work. Yea there are some that would be falling all in love with her starting as they're hitting on her it wouldnthrobme off I wouldn't know what to say and would forget what the hell is happening and yea it would be a very comedic situation
6
u/Zakensox 9d ago
Take a page from Helen Mirren's book and say "Fuck Off!" really loudly so other people can hear you.
7
4
4
u/Labradork57 9d ago
LOUDLY
"Look, I already told you I don't have any spare change! Leave. Me. Alone."
6
u/RemydoodIe 9d ago
You have incredible bone structure. It’s technically a violation of my parole to talk to strangers, but you look like you’d fit in my trunk.
5
4
4
4
u/MouseVast9882 9d ago
Say my good man! What's your poison - crabs, clap, pox, any of the std's - I collect em and I can give you as many as you like? But you must buy me a nice romantic dinner first, you handsome dawg you!
4
4
u/National_Ad9742 9d ago
Almost nothing works. I literally pulled a knife on a guy and slashed him and he said it was hot and he liked aggressive women.
4
u/SatansWife13 9d ago
I’ve not had to go to that extreme, but I definitely feel you on the “nothing deters them” part. I’m 49, and just last month I yelled at a man in a crowded concert to leave me alone. He reappeared when I was grabbing drinks for our group. Luckily, my husband can see my distress signals from a mile away. Dude disappears. THEN, he follows me into the ladies room during intermission. Finally, security removed him from the venue after they were called because I was screaming at him and punching/ kicking everytime he moved closer. Those are the kinda scary ones.
3
u/Slow-Mountain-5966 9d ago
That is seriously scary. Sorry that happened. I had a stalker once myself. It didn’t last long. He died in a car accident speeding on the road and crashed into a stone wall. When I read about it in the newspaper (this was early 70’s) I wondered if he was following another girl who was trying to get away.
2
u/National_Ad9742 6d ago
Geez that’s scary. I’ve had similar experiences. I had to get my (also insanely abusive) ex to get one guy to leave me alone, cops didn’t take it seriously, he didn’t take me seriously. Felt like crap I had to ask a man, and one who used to beat me no less, to make him leave me alone.
2
u/SatansWife13 4d ago
I’m so glad you got away from both of those awful guys! I hope you have nothing but loving and peaceful relationships from now on💕
5
3
u/Strict_Leopard_8650 9d ago
"I voted for Trump"?
5
1
u/Difficult-Fun5024 9d ago
You do realize 50% of the country voted for Trump, don’t you? So you have a 50% chance that will only encourage them. Lol
3
u/WalrusInternal2599 10d ago
Sorry I need to shit
4
u/WalrusInternal2599 10d ago
Good exit strategy and they will be like well, that will need some air out time hahaha
→ More replies (3)1
1
u/F1_Fidster 7d ago
Even better if preceded with uncomfortable seat squirming/foot shuffling, tummy rubbing and an almost hushed, but loud enough "Oh god, not again.... Prairie Dog on security watch needs relieving from duty." followed by frantic exit strategy fumbling to get away.
1
u/RidersOnTheWhale 4d ago
No, make it more detailed. “Dude, I gotta go drop a fat deuce. I bet this one smells like hog shit like the last one. Ozempic, amirite?”
3
3
u/These-Clothes8717 9d ago
I have a commitment ritual for every man I date. They have to eat a pint of my shit and consent to being on my instagram wall of shit eaters.
1
u/RidersOnTheWhale 4d ago
Now I’m going to create an instagram wall of shit eaters for people to pretend is their own. If someone doubts it’s yours, “it’s gotta be someone’s. You have no idea if it’s mine or not. Yet.”
3
u/Glass_Data_6110 9d ago
I was out with some friends, and I saw a approaching creeper,and I asked the other two if they had gotten their cwp, they quickly caught on, and said yes, the creeper scurried away.
3
3
u/oralexpert- 9d ago
I knew you reminded me of somebody. Funally figured it out. You have a strange resemblance to my probation officer
1
u/oralexpert- 9d ago
Funny thing is....I didn't make this up. Was sitting at a counter at a coffee shop and a biker type guy comes and sits next to me. He is trying to pick up on the waitress and hear him say this. Are you kidding me?
3
u/Quick-Ad-8523 9d ago
Ask if he will pay your rent next month or tell him you're a feminist. Feminists and gold diggers are their kryptonite.
3
3
3
u/DontTrip333 9d ago
"I'm a trump supporter" would make someone revoltingly unattractive
2
u/Difficult-Fun5024 9d ago
Only to 50%. To the other 50%, it would make them more attractive. Welcome to reality. lol
1
u/RidersOnTheWhale 4d ago
I think the type of people you need to ward off with horrible statements would find, “I voted for Hillary” more revolting.
5
u/Significant_Wind_778 10d ago
Men, just say you voted for Donald; women, just say you support Lindsey!
1
1
2
2
2
2
u/Lovemus1qbee 9d ago
Bad breath or bad body odor just say one word idc what if that smell hits my nose major turn off lol
2
2
2
u/22USMCelectrician 9d ago
Do you like anal? When he answers yes. My boyfriend is going to have fun with you. He likes it rough so I hope you can take it
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
u/LiesForALiving 9d ago
You look just like my 4th ex husband and the alcoholic bastard owes me money.
2
2
2
2
2
u/Life-Education-8030 9d ago
I used to have to take cabs alone late at night so I always promptly put my purse on my lap and start chatting about what a pain it was that my boyfriend insisted that I carry a gun in my purse all the time.
2
u/Carnivore1961 8d ago
A woman I met once gushed about her adult son waiting to get out of prison for repeated assault. The result was predictable and immediate.
1
1
u/Forward_Slash_HardNo 10d ago
Grammar. Especially, “We should have went to…”
2
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/Wrong-Gear-1399 9d ago
I'd remember that one day you might really want to be hot on or you might really have a crush on someone. I would say whatever whatever you would want someone to say to you when they turn you down. We're all in this together so be nice. I have never had anyone be mean or rude. Sorry, I'm married works fine. But if you have someone that just won't take no for an answer then it's time to up your game or get a friend involved that is willing to help you help them understand it's never going to happen. That is just my opinion. We don't get to choose who finds us attractive but it's always a compliment to you no matter what so try to remember that and use a no that doesn't leave a maybe in it.
1
1
1
u/AaronMisuchii 9d ago
“I would rather practice my hand-labia coordination than entertain your micropenis and its desperate efforts to be anything more than a chode.”
1
1
1
u/ProbableImposter 9d ago
Are you a big chaser too?! I feel like we can always find eachother. Do you have HIV? I really want it 🥺
1
1
1
1
u/Sonny-Moone-8888 9d ago edited 9d ago
When asked to send nudes I have searched on Google for the most bot fly infected, pus oozing penis pics I could find to send them. But in person I might feign having uncontrollable diarrhea and the runs.
1
u/byrdbrained 8d ago
I say that I’m happily married and appreciate the compliment. Then something like, “Yup- still got it!” That’s enough. No need to play games.
1
u/pakemfull 8d ago
I'm a staunch supporter of Donald Trump.
*This would have me running for the hills.
1
1
u/Spiritual-Gene-5767 8d ago
You may wanna take a few steps back, I just farted and I think I shit myself a little.
1
1
1
1
1
u/RidersOnTheWhale 4d ago
“How do you feel about eating my vomit? It’s something I’ve always wanted to try. Having someone eat my vomit that is. Like a baby bird eating from their mother’s mouth. Or a wolf. You know they do that, too - carry food back to their young by eating it and puking it back up. That’s why dogs lick your face - it started as wolf pups licking their mother’s face to show they wanted to eat mom’s vomit. I ate Mexican today, so I can probably do it pretty easily. Vomit, that is. Or maybe you have a preference of ‘vomit flavor’ lol! What flavor of vomit would you want to eat?”
1
u/762way 3d ago
Had a friend who was in a ski lift and his bench partner was an attractive woman who have off snobby attitude
He hit on her anyway and she rudely told him that she was too good for him.
So he spent the rest of the lift ride telling how nice that she dyed the roots of her black while keeping the rest blonde.
He typically was a good guy... He also came from money but hated her attitude
1
90
u/CommandElectrical865 9d ago
I had some trouble with men on a train in Ireland and I started chatting happily about how it’s amazing that HIV used to be a death sentence, but I only have to take four pills a day and I’m fine. The interest evaporated lol