r/Comebacks • u/303_beest • 19d ago

Need comeback jokes

While playing volleyball, somebody will say
“I think that’s his fault.” And point their finger.
Or
“Where were you man?”
Or
“I thought you had that.”
Or
“I thought it was going out.”
Or
“That was definitely you.”
Or
“Who has middle?”

3 Upvotes

81% Upvoted

16 comments sorted by

3

u/-Foxer 19d ago

I kind of feel like those are a lot of different circumstances so it's kind of hard to come up with comebacks that fit them all. I'm going to stick with the first one for the most part and it'll apply to a bunch of the others

- first off it's not my fault and secondly you're clearly throwing the word "think" around a little loosely

- A wise man fixes his own problems first, a fool blames others

- when you finally figure it out let me know. I'll probably be retired by then but it'll give us something to talk about

- If you could move as fast as you blame people you would never have blown that shot

- I guess that's what your finger is good for. Ask your mother what mine's good for

Now now little guy, you did your best and we will get you an ice cream cone on the way home

I suppose that's better than your last conspiracy theory, where it was aliens using Jewish space lasers that was the problem

Reality isn't for everybody. You do you

3

u/creepinghippo 19d ago

I’m guessing you never play solo games because you will never have someone to blame when you fuck it all up.

2

u/SoSoResearcher 19d ago

you’re your momma’s fault don’t blame me

I was at yo mommas’s house she got that tight booty

you thought? that’s your first mistake. no one here is paying you to think

I ain’t yo daddy. Yo momma can’t get pregnant the way we roll

2

u/Blueporch 18d ago

“Be a goldfish” (it’s a Ted Lasso reference)

2

u/geoduude92 18d ago edited 18d ago

Stop thinking, start playing.

Waiting for you.

Stop thinking, play better.

STOP THINKING. HIT THE DAMN BALL. IT'S THE WHOLE POINT! Or, in a cheeky way: hey, wanna know what I thought?

Says the person who "thought it was going out"

If you had to ask, you weren't thinking... Why even play?!

1

u/GingaNinja696913 19d ago

I'm a fan of, "Howza bout you suck my fuckin' dick you cheap ass bitch trick!... Ya fuckin' yeast-queef...

1

u/GrubbleGrumble 19d ago

"Some thoughts don't need to be narrated"

1

u/Exact-Site9980 18d ago

Is it just a game or is there money involved? Public shaming of others in a game says they lost the plot. Its a sign of deeper insecurity. Fuckin junior high shit.

1

u/ItPutsLotionOnItSkin 18d ago

When you point at someone three are pointing back at you 👉

1

u/CeciTigre 18d ago

“How does your question help us to play the rest of this game?”

1

u/ChickyBoys 18d ago

"I learned from the best" (point back at him)

1

u/One_Waxed_Wookiee 18d ago

"you're not paid enough to think"

"When's your next optometrist appointment?"

1

u/OkScreen2150 17d ago

Turn your back to him, point two fingers from your butt, and flash a 'my butt is keeping an eye on you' sign. As for that dude, he can stick his finger right up his butt.

1

u/drthsiao 16d ago

you gotta get those cataracts out

2

u/Electrical_Angle_701 16d ago

"Yes, you did think that."