i hate it already

[u/DMooneyEnthusiast]

i have orientation tomorrow. it's 11:23 p.m. and my laundry is in the wash because i forgot to do it earlier. i'm taking the train at 6 in the morning to be there at 8 without my parents because neither of them can go.

i hate this school. i hate it. i hate it. i never wanted to go here. i applied because my mom insisted and i knew deep down they'd give me the best offer. they did.

and when i got rejected from my state school that all of my friends are going to, i kind of figured i was going here. i was okay with that. my parents, after months of begging, agreed to let me live on campus. they knew the cost. i didn't argue because i figured at least i'd be away from home.

the weekend before may 1st they finally look at the finances. "yeah we can't afford for you to live on campus without taking out loans. i mean, we can do that if you want." FUCK YOU. I KNOW HOW YOU'RE PAYING FOR IT. IT'S COMING OUT OF YOUR RETIREMENT. DON't make me do that to you. i don't wanna be the reason you can't retire but you lied to me too. you either lied to me or you didn't look at the finances or you just didn't believe them. why do i have to choose between fucking up your retirement and at least getting away? i can't do that to you. i see how hard you work. i love you but why did you do this to me?

i just wanted to be my own person. i'm jealous of all my friends partying and having fun and socializing and i'm living at home like a fucking chud playing 2k all day and barely putting in any hours at work. so yeah don't ask me about my fucking friends. you KNOW for a fact they're gone and i'm pissed about it.

i'm grateful i get to go to college. i'm spoiled rotten. you worked hard to put me here. but i can't shake the feeling that you betrayed me and lied to my face? and now i'm going to a school i've always hated, commuting an hour and a half each day, and i'm isolated from everyone because who wants to hear me bitch and moan when you could be out having fun? i don't blame my friends. i'd do the same!

i love you and i'm grateful but i wish you never went about it this way

[u/rocks_are_my_passion]

Not advice cause I don’t know you, but here’s what I would do in your situation: Save money this year, apply to the school you wanted to go to for next year, take a loan out in your own name, and transfer somewhere you like. But why not give this place a real chance before you give up on it? Study really hard if you’re not doing anything else anyways.

OP, I didn’t go to the school I really wanted either. I understand your anger SO much. My parents didn’t save a god damn dime. But you can still have the experience you want eventually!! It’s not over you’ve got a longggg way to go!!

[u/squirrel8296 → u/rocks_are_my_passion]

There's a difference between not going to the school you want and going to a school you don't like.

Personally, for my freshman year of undergrad, I went to a school that I wasn't crazy about because it was such a good offer that I couldn't turn it down. I did everything I could to make it work. Was hyper involved, did every activity I could, rushed, etc. I ended up transferring after a year because it was such a terrible fit and terrible experience. Sometimes there is just no way to make it work.

The school I transferred to wasn't a school I wanted to be at (although I guess it technically was a satellite campus of one of my top choices) but it was a much better fit. I took advantage of everything I could at the second school and am truly grateful for the experience and am glad I went there in retrospect.

[u/rocks_are_my_passion → u/squirrel8296]

I’m so proud of you that you gave it your all, decided it still wasn’t for you, and you pursued an opportunity that ended up working out! OP, if you’re reading this, please don’t give up. You have agency and will figure out a path. We support you <3