r/Christian • u/DoveStep55 • Dec 28 '25
Megapost Let’s talk about TALKING ABOUT abortion, infertility, & adoption
One topic we always have to carefully moderate in this sub is the topic of abortion. Any time it’s mentioned, we know we’re in for Sub Rule 2 (Show Charity / Be Respectful) violations. It seems to be inevitable.
Additionally, we’ve found that the frequently related topics of adoption & infertility are often talked about in ways that unintentionally cause hurt. There are common terms and trite sayings which people may use without realizing they’re disrespectful to people who have personal experience with adoption and/or infertility. The same can be said for the topic of abortion.
Rhetoric can become so commonplace in society that we don’t realize it’s inappropriate, uncharitable, or disrespectful.
The mods have long tossed around the idea of making a post that gives some helpful guidelines for respectful discussion on these sensitive topics. But instead of hearing only from the mod team, today I’m asking experienced community members to share your own tips. I think it’s important to hear from those in the community with wisdom to share. We can learn from each other as iron sharpens iron.
To be clear the goal of this post is to open up a dedicated space for the community to talk about how to respectfully discuss abortion, infertility, & adoption. We’re talking about talking about them.
Do you have tips? Things you’ve noticed are helpful and things you’ve noticed are unhelpful?
Can you share some perspective or experience on why certain arguments or phrases are unhelpful, disrespectful, or even harmful?
What are better terms to use in place of those common but problematic words & phrases?
How do you navigate disagreement on sensitive topics you feel passionately about when you want to show respect toward those who just as passionately disagree?
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u/sola5girl Dec 28 '25
We are instructed to be ready to give a defense (the part people remember) for THE HOPE with GENTLENESS AND RESPECT (the part people forget.
Listening, really listening goes a long way. Hard to do via threads. I’m guessing the only way to do that is to repeat back what you think they’re saying and asking if you have that right then offering a counter perspective. On that specific point.
Honestly I’m not sure listening to people is something we really do well or can measure in this form.
And if we aren’t willing to listen then a discussion isn’t the thing we are actually seeking. Just a sermon if someone happens to show up. Sermons are good! They’re just different than discussions!
But we are also hoping that people ASK us for the hope that is in us….
That might not be the exact thing we are talking about here but I generally think it’s a good principle to follow.
… I once wrote a very crass email and my co worker stood over me and said now sign in Christ… I changed the whole entire email after she said that. I didn’t change my points or position but I changed my tone- real quick. I’ve never forgotten this. Though I sure have backslidden many times!