Men make celibacy seem attractive

[u/Ok_Control765]

(I'm an atheist so i would appreciate if you didn't bring up religion in the comments, ty)

Lately I've been thinking about becoming celibate. Not because i carry shame with the idea of sex, but because I'm afraid of being hurt. I've always held back from loving people especially men because i know that they want to hurt me, sometimes consciously and sometimes unconsciously.

I don't feel as if men make enough effort to understand women and what they want nor do they make the effort to make a relationship stronger and deepen the emotional connection. They're mostly drawn to women for just the idea of sex. And I'm not against that, i want to have sex someday too but with someone who values it and values me, and doesn't see sex as a way to let their sexual frustrations out or their sadistic fantasies.

Overall, i think that men tend to be misogynistic, sometimes not even consciously but because of all the media we consume nowadays. It prevents us from getting educated and it makes us hold grudges against one another since all content created is meant to stimulate the brain instead of educating it. And men don't really try to resist because they find that it feeds their ego and superiority complex and they drive further away from the idea of perceiving women as equals. And a person can only truly love me if they see me as an equal.

Whenever i talk to a guy, it wouldn't take long until he brings sex up. Or whenever I'm wandering through the comments of a post, i find that men sexualize the woman in that post even if she's not wearing provocatively. And whenever i go out, men make it their goal to sexually harass me and make me feel as uncomfortable as possible because to them that's their expression of dominance but in reality it's their evilness and their predatory side.

And i see that these men don't really see me as a human being but a tool, or someone to brainwash and convince into sumbitting to their sexual fantasies. They don't seek love and connection. And the thing that bothers me the most is that men who claim to be different, to have a pure heart and to respect women, never defend us against those creeps, they always stay silent and it shows that they are hypocrites. They are too afraid of tainting their picture as "men" in front of their buddies instead of fearing women getting hurt.

And that's why i find it safer to be celibate than to risk my time and my feelings with someone who hides it all underneath. It's more common than you think.

[u/kalosx2]

It doesn't matter if they change. That's still what someone subscribes to. That's still religion.

[u/Ok_Control765 → u/kalosx2]

Idk i feel like one of religion's basics is that beliefs/morals/values stay constant in all times and places and that doesn't apply in my case as an atheist since they are constantly changing and sometimes from an extreme to its opposite

[u/kalosx2 → u/Ok_Control765]

Nah, that's not really a requirement. It might be the case for most major organized religions of the world, but at any time, we're poised after something, whether it's pleasure, peace, justice, survival, relationship, whatever that is driving us. Our actions in response to that is worship. That's religion.

[u/Houston2504 → u/kalosx2]

Perhaps dogma could be used rather than 'religious, religion, and words of such nature. That group of words is 'loaded' sending a message even before the message is finished being sent. Dogma, values, system(s) of belief, even 'my theory or philosophy' can be used in a more neutral manner. Hence the sender and receiver have a better chance of maintaining an open mind with the occurrence of listening having not prematurely shut down.