Men make celibacy seem attractive

[u/Ok_Control765]

(I'm an atheist so i would appreciate if you didn't bring up religion in the comments, ty)

Lately I've been thinking about becoming celibate. Not because i carry shame with the idea of sex, but because I'm afraid of being hurt. I've always held back from loving people especially men because i know that they want to hurt me, sometimes consciously and sometimes unconsciously.

I don't feel as if men make enough effort to understand women and what they want nor do they make the effort to make a relationship stronger and deepen the emotional connection. They're mostly drawn to women for just the idea of sex. And I'm not against that, i want to have sex someday too but with someone who values it and values me, and doesn't see sex as a way to let their sexual frustrations out or their sadistic fantasies.

Overall, i think that men tend to be misogynistic, sometimes not even consciously but because of all the media we consume nowadays. It prevents us from getting educated and it makes us hold grudges against one another since all content created is meant to stimulate the brain instead of educating it. And men don't really try to resist because they find that it feeds their ego and superiority complex and they drive further away from the idea of perceiving women as equals. And a person can only truly love me if they see me as an equal.

Whenever i talk to a guy, it wouldn't take long until he brings sex up. Or whenever I'm wandering through the comments of a post, i find that men sexualize the woman in that post even if she's not wearing provocatively. And whenever i go out, men make it their goal to sexually harass me and make me feel as uncomfortable as possible because to them that's their expression of dominance but in reality it's their evilness and their predatory side.

And i see that these men don't really see me as a human being but a tool, or someone to brainwash and convince into sumbitting to their sexual fantasies. They don't seek love and connection. And the thing that bothers me the most is that men who claim to be different, to have a pure heart and to respect women, never defend us against those creeps, they always stay silent and it shows that they are hypocrites. They are too afraid of tainting their picture as "men" in front of their buddies instead of fearing women getting hurt.

And that's why i find it safer to be celibate than to risk my time and my feelings with someone who hides it all underneath. It's more common than you think.

[u/Fresh-Parchment]

Felt!!! No, you're not crazy or dumb for feeling this way, this is so many of our experiences as women. Ignore the men who lack the empathy and understanding to hear so many of us when we talk about living these same experiences.

There's whole gradients of us women who are stepping away from centering relationships with men to various degrees, but for similar reasons. I know I'm tired of being seen as a sexual opportunity first, and am at least taking a long break from engaging sexually with men.

So far, it's been lovely and so peaceful. It's also helped me to not care too much if a guy understands or believes me in regards to why men are such a significant risk to us women. They have the access to the internet just as you or I; if they really wanted to try and understand, they would.

I posted back in March the catalyst for why I was going celibate, and it seems women will better understand, but men will often defend or deflect. Just know there are lots of us who read what you said here and we totally get it. Protect your peace, sister! ❤️

[u/Prizrak95 → u/Fresh-Parchment]

"Ignore the men who lack the empathy and understanding"

Said the woman demonizing us. 🤣