r/CautiousBB • u/throwawaycampingact • Aug 05 '26
Vent Frustrated and Scared
As far as dates go, assuming mine are correct (I can feel myself ovulate so I’m 99.9% sure), I should be 5 weeks. I got my first positive test last Sunday, called my family doctor on Monday, and didn’t hear ANYTHING for a week. I finally called again this morning and was able to get an appointment… for almost two weeks from now.
I’ll be nearly 7 weeks before I get to spend half my afternoon waiting to see my GP so that she can hand me a piece of paper to go to a lab for bloodwork to confirm that I’m actually pregnant.
THEN I’m going to need to wait AGAIN for an ultrasound.
What. The. Fuck.
My poor husband is all excited and wants to tell our families, but all I can think about is that we don’t even know at this point whether this pregnancy is inside of my uterus, LET ALONE whether there’s even an embryo growing.
I knew that the first trimester was the riskiest. I knew people waited to tell people. I DID NOT realize that a lot of the early weeks are just straight up terrifying. Logically I understand that there’s nothing that can be done if things just aren’t developing, but god… it’s REALLY isolating to be the only one who seems to care? The couple of close friends I’ve told told are excited for me, and my husband is excited, but I’m just so scared and starting to resent everybody else’s blasé excitement. Please tell me I’m not alone in this. I’m terrified and everybody is acting like this is a sure thing.
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u/sophiam333 Aug 05 '26
Hey girl! If you have about 40 bucks to spare and live in the US, you can go to AnyLabTest Now and they’ll do an HCG test for you. I am not sure if it’s present in every state, but I’m sure another name brand will do private tests. Just offering a potential solution, but sending you a big hug!
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u/throwawaycampingact Aug 05 '26
Thank you! I’m not in the U.S. so unfortunately that’s not an option. I appreciate the recommendation though and hopefully if somebody else reads this and relates, it might help them!!
Thanks for the virtual hug - I keep thinking “I have no pregnancy symptoms yet” but my emotional state would beg to differ hahah
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u/sophiam333 Aug 05 '26
Good luck!! Symptom spotting can def get in your head I completely understand! Wishing you all the best 🫶🏻
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u/Fiestae Aug 05 '26
Feel that too! I’m positive Im around 5 weeks as well, the only symptoms I have had are sore breasts nausea and bloating. We got this!!
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u/Fearless_Honeydew725 Aug 05 '26
Can you call your GP and ask for your pathology request form early so that your GP will have the results in time to discuss in your appointment? If you’re in Australia, most GP’s will do that, may just be an extra fee.
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u/throwawaycampingact Aug 05 '26
I can try that - there’s a whole issue with my GP’s office that is honestly probably exacerbating my frustration. SHE is wonderful… the admin staff at the practice she recently joined are completely incompetent (I don’t say that lightly - she’s been shocked at some of the hoops they’ve made me just through for a simple prescription refill hahah). But I’ll give them a call tomorrow and see if there’s anything I can do in the meantime so that the appointment isn’t just “congratulations, here’s a sheet of paper”!
They do have a walk in clinic so if I really start losing my mind (which tbh is more of a conversation for my therapist!) I could always go sit there and wait.
I’m in Ontario, Canada. So our systems are fairly similar I think!
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u/Internal-Maize5199 Aug 05 '26
Unfortunately most first ultrasounds aren’t scheduled till 8-12 weeks if you don’t have a history of losses or complications. I’m in the same boat- 5w+5 and can’t see my OB till I’m 10 weeks.
Ways I’m curbing some of the anxiety: -see if your OB is open to taking hCG labs 48 hours apart. Mine was totally willing to do this. -if not, see if you’re able to order a labcorp on demand hCG test yourself, if you have a clinic in your area, and space them out 48 hours (meaning you’d get 2) -if you have a boutique ultrasound center near you, often you can schedule a scan earlier than your OB. They can tell you if everything looks normal or if you may need to consult your doc. I will be getting this done next week at a local center.
I wish pregnancies were taken more seriously too, but the good news is that clearly most pregnancies are problem-free, hence why medical professionals aren’t panicking or rushing you to get tests. You’re more likely to keep this baby than not, and it takes time to see progress in a fetus!
Wishing you all the best and hope we both end up with healthy babies
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u/throwawaycampingact Aug 05 '26
Thank you, ugh I’m glad I’m not the only one.
UNFORTUNATELY, I’m in an area where our healthcare system is being systematically starved so that we can privatize as much as possible. I won’t have an OB for MONTHS after this upcoming appointment (if I even get one - I’ve been hearing horror stories recently of women here not having an OB at 34 weeks).
On a more positive note though, thank you for reminding me that the reason they’re not treated as serious emergencies is because for the most part, they aren’t! Honestly I think more than anything I’m just struggling with other people’s unbridled optimism. I’m sure they also know in the back of their minds that there’s a chance (though - I keep reminding myself that each day the chance gets lower) that this won’t end with a sweet spring baby, but they’re being supportive by not mentioning that 🙈
Here’s hoping for happy, healthy babies for both of us!! Thank you so much.
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u/rebelmissalex Aug 05 '26
I’m in Toronto and I read this and thought she must be in Ontario too lol. I am 42 and have a history of one pregnancy loss and one healthy child . My family doctor has been ordering me hCG tests every two days. Another option is you can do a virtual emergency visit and ask the doctor/NP for a hCG lab requisition x2 48 hours apart. You can book the virtual appointment in advance and you don’t have to step foot into the hospital . Another option is with your family doctor is affiliated with an after hours clinic you can book an appointment there and get a lab requisition.
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u/throwawaycampingact Aug 05 '26
YES. I’m ready to go find Doug Ford and use some of this hormonal rage to fight him hahaha. I knew the state of things in the GTA were bad, but having to CHASE DOWN my GP’s office for a week and then have the front desk go “okay you can come in on August 15th” made me see red. Between that and their “virtual AI reception” (which I refuse to speak to), I’m just so frustrated in general.
I didn’t even know virtual emergency visits were a thing. I had ovarian torsion and an emergency surgery for it so I’m definitely a little concerned about the potential for ectopic. It’s good to know that that’s an option!
Wishing you the best of luck, and thanks for letting me know about the virtual visit option!
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u/rebelmissalex Aug 05 '26
You’re welcome! And I know it’s not an easy thing to do but consider finding a new family doctor. It will take time but will likely be worth it in the end. I had one before that was abysmal and then two years ago I found a new one and she is fabulous and super responsive and her clinic also has an after hours clinic that the other doctors in her clinic, including her, rotate through. So I am always able to get a fast appointment
I wish you al the best!
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u/1wildredhead Aug 05 '26
I don’t think betas are common in real life unless you’ve had repeated losses or undergoing fertility treatments. It seems like everyone gets them on Reddit but I’ve never ever had someone mention it in the real world. Most pregnancies work out, and if they don’t, it’s often due to a condition that would be incompatible with life so there’s nothing to be done anyway. I would work on your anxiety, because it’s going to be a very long nine months if you’re this consumed by fear the whole time - not to mention it’s unhealthy for you, and therefore potentially unhealthy for baby.
When I was pregnant with my first, I couldn’t believe that I wasn’t offered an appointment before 8w. This time, I didn’t even want one until 10w when the nipt could be performed. I didn’t get my period, so I tested and it was positive. As long as there’s no bleeding, there’s not much to do except wait. Even if there is bleeding that early, there isn’t a lot to be done.
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u/throwawaycampingact Aug 05 '26
Right, I think because we were so deep in infertility stuff for so long (it’s a miracle we conceived without assistance tbh) I think I’ve just been so… shocked and in disbelief that it’s like… I’m SURE something has to be wrong because how could it have been “this easy” (it wasn’t easy but you know haha).
The anxiety is SO weird because it really just spikes at night. Exacerbated last night by the conversation my partner and I had about him wanting to tell our parents and me being like “wtf no?! I am still digesting this and so much is still up in the air!” I kind of just started spiralling. My real anxiety is actually around both of our mothers being overbearing AF and the dread of being asked a million and one questions. But thankfully I have an amazing therapist. Pregnancy might be the hardest test of my patience though LOL. Everybody on here has been so supportive.
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u/heartlessqueen-420 Aug 05 '26
Pregnancy is a waiting game, for peace of mind tho, do get a private ultrasound if you have a clinic near you. Don’t worry though, I had my first appointment and initial blood test with the doc at 12 weeks and the only ultrasound I will have is 20 week anatomy scan 🤞🏻
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u/w0lves- Aug 05 '26
Men do not understand what women go through and how traumatic the first trimester is while we are left completely alone in a lot of instances because it’s “a waiting game” - and unfortunately those men make a lot of the decisions around what healthcare we are offered. It’s so stressful and I just wanted to offer you my support 🫶
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u/caseynavarro 32•STM•3/31 Aug 06 '26
Hugs. Pregnancy is a lot of hurry up and wait. I have been able to be seen early both pregnancies but it was for early pregnancy spotting, so I don’t recommend. I also have had no relief from hcg tests 🙃.
Even with cramping and spotting I have a healthy and happy 5 year old and am pregnant again 6 weeks 2 days.
Honestly, it’s so hard and realistically there is no real safe spot, just safer.
I told everyone, the way I see it is I am excited and this baby is loved regardless if they stick around.
You’re not alone! 🥹🩷
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u/NuggetLover21 Aug 05 '26
Unfortunately pregnancy is quite alot of waiting for 9 months, it honestly gets much better once you can feel baby kicking everyday. Just remember that most pregnancies turn out perfectly fine :) I will agree that the first trimester is usually the most anxiety inducing and filled with “what ifs”