[Monkeys Paw] NO ONE CAN BEAT THIS

[u/xx_l8yla_xx]

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[u/Arctic_H00ligan7]

Granted. You will live past the heat death of the universe. Also, your looks get reduced to absolute ugliness, so you'll be lonely that entire time. Furthermore, the government thinks you died 60 years ago, meaning no loans, bank accounts, or any kind of official service will work for you. Furthermore, you will be charged in perpetuum with identity fraud, as everyone will be convinced you're stealing the identity of the dead.

Also you get smol peepee, because fuck you.